I'm a Chef. Won 2 chili cook offs. Here's my recipe

no beer chef?

Beans are protein.

How much propellant can I expect?

How much propellant can I expect?

1 - #10 can of kidney beans (drained)
1 - #10 can of pinto beans (drained)

Notes From An Inexperienced Chili Taster Named FRANK,who was visiting Texas from the East Coast: "Recently I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment, and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges and (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted.


Here are the scorecards from the event:

Chili # 1: Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili JUDGE ONE: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick. JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild. FRANK: Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy


Chili # 2: Arthur's Afterburner Chili JUDGE ONE: Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang. JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously. FRANK: Keep this out of reach of children! I'm not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.


Chili # 3: Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans. JUDGE TWO: A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of red peppers. FRANK: Call the EPA, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now, get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced from all the beer.


Chili # 4: Bubba's Black Magic JUDGE ONE: Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing. JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili. FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it, is it possible to burn-out taste buds? Sally, the bar maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills; that ugly bitch is starting to look HOT, just like this nuclear-waste I'm eating. Is chili an aphrodisiac?


Chili # 5: Linda's Legal Lip Remover JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive. JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement. FRANK: My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from a pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off? It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks!


Chili # 6: Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spice and peppers. JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb. FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I shit myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that slut Sally, she must be kinkier than I thought. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone


Chili # 7: Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili JUDGE ONE: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers. JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried about Judge Number 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably. FRANK: You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a damn thing. I've lost the slight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava-like shit to match my damn shirt. At least during the autopsy they'll know what killed me.
I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. Screw it, I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4 inch hole in my stomach.


Chili # 8: Helen's Mount Saint Chili JUDGE ONE: A perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili, safe for all, not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence. JUDGE TWO: This final entry is a good, balanced chili, neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge Number 3 passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor Yank, wonder how he'd have reacted to a really hot chili? FRANK: --------------(editor's note: Judge #3 was unable to report)

I'm a Chef in Naples, FL
Been lurking GLP since 2011
Just won my 2nd chili cook off
Since I love you guys and gals
For all you do
Here it is

**** I make a big batch because I work at a country club
I'd cut everything 1/4

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Put oil in a pan
Get it hot
Add 10lb tube of ground beef
Brown it


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In a bowl
Add
4TB pepper
4TB Salt
4TB Chili powder
4TB Cayenne
4TB Paprika
4TB Italian seasoning
4TB Garlic powder
8TB cumin
2TB thyme

*mix good in the bowl

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chop well & fine

2 onions
6 stalks celery
3 carrots
2 red peppers
2 yellow peppers
1 green pepper

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Drain the beef in a strainer

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Put the beef back into th pan

Add
Chopped veg
And
Spices

Sautée

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Add

2 - #10 cans of plum tomatoes (I use aulta cucina)
1 - #10 can of kidney beans (drained)
1 - #10 can of pinto beans (drained)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mix
8oz of beef base
To
1/2 gallon of water
Mix
Add to chili

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Add

12 splashes of Tabasco

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cook until everything is tender and combining

About 45 minutes to 1 hour

**************************

That's it
Have fun & enjoy

Thanks for everything you guys do
This site gets me through the days

Much love friends

~ GLPchef

Do you bring the chili to a boil then down to low to simmer?

Do you cover the pot during the simmer?

No cover
I keep it on high all the way through the cooking

Yum! Thanks, OP!

I am also a self taught chef! I have won multiple kudos and thank yous from fellow employees during our office parties and special Friday lunches for all the fine dishes I prepared in my kitchen surrounded by my 8 cats and three dogs and meth pipe sitting on the counter.

Canned beans?

chili is gross.

pass.

Not in the chili
But
I get the bartender to give me a pint or 2

I'm a Chef in Naples, FL
Been lurking GLP since 2011
Just won my 2nd chili cook off
Since I love you guys and gals
For all you do
Here it is

**** I make a big batch because I work at a country club
I'd cut everything 1/4

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Put oil in a pan
Get it hot
Add 10lb tube of ground beef
Brown it


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In a bowl
Add
4TB pepper
4TB Salt
4TB Chili powder
4TB Cayenne
4TB Paprika
4TB Italian seasoning
4TB Garlic powder
8TB cumin
2TB thyme

*mix good in the bowl

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chop well & fine

2 onions
6 stalks celery
3 carrots
2 red peppers
2 yellow peppers
1 green pepper

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Drain the beef in a strainer

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Put the beef back into th pan

Add
Chopped veg
And
Spices

Sautée

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Add

2 - #10 cans of plum tomatoes (I use aulta cucina)
1 - #10 can of kidney beans (drained)
1 - #10 can of pinto beans (drained)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mix
8oz of beef base
To
1/2 gallon of water
Mix
Add to chili

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Add

12 splashes of Tabasco

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cook until everything is tender and combining

About 45 minutes to 1 hour

**************************

That's it
Have fun & enjoy

Thanks for everything you guys do
This site gets me through the days

Much love friends

~ GLPchef

How much damn chili does this make?? 10 lbs of beef???

Wendy's chili is great
Thanks
Much love friend

Thanks!

I need a good recipe.

Do you have this for just one pot for a small family?