My Cat Is Obsessed With Making Biscuits With My Balls

You might be more animal than human. Slay the beast, man; It has your intellect in fetters.

Get yourself neutered, or just kick the cat off until it decides that ball kneeding isn't worth attempting anymore.

Nope, just typical American affairs.

Well this might sound really strange, but there is evidence that when cats do this...they are healing you.

It was recently discovered by Chinese and American scientists that when they purr, they are emitting healing frequencies.

There is evidence that car owners suffer fewer health problems.

I suspect the real reason cats were so revered in ancient Egypt was for this very reason, they knew about that stuff back then more than we do now, though that kind of healing is making a comeback.

I get tachycardia attacks and putting my purring cat on my chest slows down my heart and ends the episode....

Go buy some rubber balls with the same consistency for him to play with, possibly tie them up loosely inside a sock for the same "feel" as yer ballz

Maybe the cat senses you have cancer down there? Been checked lately?

Say what now?



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Cat scan....

Op's balls must smell like


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Every now and then I get a chest pain and my cat seems to sense it. I'll lay down and she will jump in the bed, and she starts purring and sort of sniffs around and makes these strange clicking noises with her mouth, it's as if she is scoping out something.

Then she settles down, and purrs and kneads right where the pain is. She does this for a few minutes, then roots around just a bit more as if she wants to make sure she got it all, then she'll lay by me and fall asleep, and my pain will be gone.

Four words:

The New Gong Show

I love what you said, and it's true. A cat will sleep by a part of your body that needs special attention or protection.

BEST THREAD EVER, WOULD READ AGAIN


10/10

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OP put A1 sauce on your balls. See if that helps.

Bone China ?

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He washes his balls with Catnip Soap! Hahahahahahaha!

Lmao, Peepaws, our cat Mr. Peepers does the same.
Here he is with my 2 young sons.

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Aww, your sons and Mr. Peepers are adorable!

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While your cat makes biscuits, my dog makes a bolt for the door every time somebody calls round.

I'm only doing this because I feel sorry for your cat...

Cats begin kneading as kittens when they are nursing - it helps them to get more milk. They will continue the behavior with their primary human who they view as "mommy".
They do this when they are happy to express their happiness. In other words, your cat is saying "I love you"!

The behavior is often triggered when they feel something warm, soft and SQUISHY! Simply experiment with a few squishy items like a small bean-bag pillow or a small fleece throw bunched up. I have a male cat that loves to knead a bunched up T-shirt jersey type bed sheet.
So find some squishy things and put them on your lap to get your scent on them. Put it between your privates and your kitty. Allow kitty to knead. Then bit by bit you can transfer it off your lap. You may have to experiment with squishy things but I PROMISE you this will work.

Cute story!