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I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips

 
Anonymous Coward
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07/14/2017 01:49 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
Whatever you do, keep on keeping on for the kids. Whatever mistakes you make, bad decisions, drama you play into for someone else or yourself, whatever STD you contract.....whatever happens, keep on going for the kids. Been where you are. it is a tough tough road, and never ends. But you gotta keep on going no matter what. Don't get caught up in drama. Get caught up in your kids. They need you.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 9695347


And they will be there in his old age when he really needs them. His wife may end up having to fend for herself when she gets old. He needs to invest in these boys. Take them fishing ,camping, spend loads of time with them. Forget about relationships right now. The right woman will come along when he is ready. Right now the kids are important.
The Rickest Rick Sanchez
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
Tell her you think it's a good idea. You have plans and she didn't really fit into them. Be emotionless and cold. Actually feel yourself letting go.

Either she will snap out of it due to the female curiosity of what you are up to, or she will realize what she is losing...or at least you will have some momentum on your way to a better life.
 Quoting: The Rickest Rick Sanchez


Actually I sort of did that these last few months.

Prior to that, the arguments we had were insane, near heart-attack inducing.

So I started emotionally distancing myself so I wouldn't take things so seriously.

And to be frank, I think that to a big degree brought me to where I'm at now.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71473722


I know "woulda, coulda, shoulda" doesn't help now, but maybe in the future :

Do not let the next one talk to you like you say she did. Nip that shit in the bud from the get go next time. When they get out of hand, they are often wanting you to step up and drop your balls on the table. If you don't do it, and you take it like a bitch, then you will forever be a bitch in her eyes. It's like testing boundaries with parents when you were a kid. Kids do shit up to the point that they get smacked. If they get away with it, they will do it again and go further. I'm not advocating actual physical response, but you can definitely let her know where the line is that shall not be crossed when it comes to respect.
The Rickest Rick Sanchez comments are meant for entertainment purposes only and should not be construed to reflect the feelings and opinions, implied or expressed, of the author.
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
ok this may sound too easy - but I bet you it will not only work, but also will help you with your outlook. Take the boys to church, Sunday school. Get involved with church and go Wed and Sun - or whenever they are open and u can. Also get involved with cub scouts, little league and any other of your children's activities. You are sure to eventually meet a single mom looking for hubs .......... Also, don't be LOOKING - don't get in a hurry, or u won't find it. It's when u are not looking that you find what is right. Just concentrate SOLELY on the children, church and their activities - and God ....... Nothing else. When pain gets bad, turn to God - Not Booze.

been there did that -- wish I had done what I am advising you now.
 Quoting: Buffalo_Gal_13


I'm thinking of doing that too.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71473722


take your WIFE to church and pray with her and if she has been unfaithful, say in your prayer with her you hope God will help her to see how she has hurt you and wronged you. ask God in your prayer with her, to help you discover what makes her more content and happy and don't just put it all on her to make her feel a little better about what she's done. ask God if it is her sin that is separating you, wash it away and then pump her full of a hot sticky load and make her yours again.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75228336


I don't think she ever cheated. But she sure as hell did flirt with guys in front of me.

One of those times, I damn near made a scene at a party over it.

i want our family saved but I'm so sick of her cruel way of arguing and her expecting me cater to her ever need like some waiter while being treated like a yard worker.

But when things were good, she got my sense of humor, I could make her laugh, well I used to could.
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07/14/2017 01:51 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
...


Not in terms of planting seeds of doubt, but I thought of saying exactly this.

I don't know what she's thinking. But hey, there's plenty of desparate men out there, so maybe she would find one to be "new dad."
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71473722


Make clear to her that she is going to wind up in the same boat with the next man, it is just a matter of time, because relationships are only fireworks in the beginning, then it's all hard work.

And the likelihood of her finding a good man, being a divorcee with post-pregnancy body, is limited to nil.

You have to get inside her head and change her perceptions. Keep an element of disdain in your demeanor too. Make her insecure.

She is only doing this because she has a warped view of the future and her prospects. Take her down a notch or ten, and the life and companionship you offer will start looking good to her.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 72592284


How pathetic. Pleading and trying to negotiate for a woman to keep you.
So fucking sad.
 Quoting: Nefarious Libertine


It might be. And to be fair I'm tired of pleading with her to fucking love me and all that shit. (Instead of being irate at me all the time.)

But when this person is all you've ever known, man, it's like the moment before you jump into the Grand Canyon!

She's all I've known my adult life till now. (Immediately married after school.)
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71473722


Do not be pathetic. Be confident. Mildly disdainful. Frank. This is psychological warfare. Your goal is to undermine her confidence. If necessary, buy time. Lay down the law. Say we are going to have to give this another week at least, because there is much to sort out. That's your final answer. DO NOT BEG. COMMAND. They respond to decisiveness. Begging, crying, being other than a father-type, is blood in the water to them. They get off on knowing they can reduce you to a pathetic state, and then they lose interest in you. It's a push and pull. Project confidence, be intense, control her.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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07/14/2017 01:55 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
I feel like I want to find a woman that I can experience true love with pronto.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71473722


Dear friend, I have walked in those shoes. I had no idea what being loved was, and it seems you also have no idea what true love is.

Reach out to a church sponsored divorce group and get yourself straight before you just jump into another boiling pot of doom.

I am single for over a year now and I LOVE life. Try it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 2307286


But what's so great about waking up in the middle of the night alone?

Away from your wife, your kids, your dogs?

To add insult to injury, awakening after having a dream about a family outing you had, and then realizing you're all fucking alone.

Sounds like torture man. But I want to believe what you say.
Anonymous Coward
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07/14/2017 01:57 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
My question is, who the hell is going to want a 40-something person thats got five boys?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71473722



Jebus what the F were you thinking having 5 flipping kids?

My god.
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07/14/2017 01:57 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
...


Not in terms of planting seeds of doubt, but I thought of saying exactly this.

I don't know what she's thinking. But hey, there's plenty of desparate men out there, so maybe she would find one to be "new dad."
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71473722


Make clear to her that she is going to wind up in the same boat with the next man, it is just a matter of time, because relationships are only fireworks in the beginning, then it's all hard work.

And the likelihood of her finding a good man, being a divorcee with post-pregnancy body, is limited to nil.

You have to get inside her head and change her perceptions. Keep an element of disdain in your demeanor too. Make her insecure.

She is only doing this because she has a warped view of the future and her prospects. Take her down a notch or ten, and the life and companionship you offer will start looking good to her.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 72592284


How pathetic. Pleading and trying to negotiate for a woman to keep you.
So fucking sad.
 Quoting: Nefarious Libertine


It might be. And to be fair I'm tired of pleading with her to fucking love me and all that shit. (Instead of being irate at me all the time.)

But when this person is all you've ever known, man, it's like the moment before you jump into the Grand Canyon!

She's all I've known my adult life till now. (Immediately married after school.)
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71473722




I am sorry to hear about this. After 25 years with a guy I married out of high school, although he was always controlling, he became very abusive and nasty after starting a high stress job.

I put up with that for two years, pleading with him to have some mercy. In January he came him to find me gone. I took as many of my personal items as I could, and left everything behind. (We don't have children, we never wanted any)

Finally after two days of silence I agreed to meet him at a public place.

He looked like he was going to shatter. (Not that I was doing great myself) losing the other half of your soul is a pain not easily explained.

He swore he would be like he used to be. Wept openly. Against all better judgment I went back to him.


It was a complete shock to his system. Since coming back, He has been the guy I first met since then, unfailingly.


My advice is to not be her enabler. You must get a lawyer. I can assure you , I guarantee the legal issues are NEVER a done deal unless it's in writing and signed by a judge.

Take whatever agreement u have to that lawyer for review.

You need to rip the bandaid off, now. There's no court custody arrangement. See the lawyer, a GOOD family lawyer, not a bullshitter. if u r able take the kids and move to an apartment. Do it asap.

The bitch needs to het a job. Less Facebook, more work.

They tend to wake up when a vacuum develops and they fully get what they Phuked up.
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07/14/2017 01:57 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
just remember that a Chad that will fuck a married woman with 5 boys and who is the only woman her husband has ever been with is guaranteed to be doing it to lots of other guy's husband so you WILL have unseen forces who will help you , that's what moral force is so don't be afraid to confront him in front of her, he will NOT win and also even if he did and got the best of you in a fight, that is the ultimate test of her also. If she sees you get PHYSICALLY hurt and THEN leaves you, she is going off to where she belongs with him. If she is provoked to see she really loves you then it is good, her true feelings are revealed and she sees clearly what she is really doing to you.

anyways not to get you in trouble but it might be worth it, and if he's rich odds are he WOULD NOT fight for her. once a guy won't fight for her, that is the NUMBER ONE turn off to a bitchwoman. there is absolutely NO CHANCE of sex after the rich guy does not fight for her, and if you were willing to fight for her, that is FUCKING PRIMAL for women, the MOST primal thing to a woman, beyond physical attraction, beyond money, beyond everything. that is why stupid ugly black guys got 9 beautiful white sluts lined up every night because white guys WON"T FIGHT FOR THEM and black guys WILL.
TRIGGLYPUFF

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07/14/2017 01:57 PM

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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
OP, do NOT get right back into persuing relationships! Take some time to persue your hobbies and passions. Go fishing, play drums, get a muscle car, whatever. Meet some nice MALE friends and experience true friendship. Join a lodge or a club like Trout Unlimited and get involved. Get your kids involved. Find some weed and acid (don't get your kids involved with this, obviously). Clear your mind.
KEEP YOUR HATE SPEECH OFF THIS CAMPUS!
KEEP YOUR HATE SPEECH OFF THIS CAMPUS!
KEEP YOUR HATE SPEECH OFF THIS CAMPUS!
Anonymous Coward
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07/14/2017 01:58 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
...


Make clear to her that she is going to wind up in the same boat with the next man, it is just a matter of time, because relationships are only fireworks in the beginning, then it's all hard work.

And the likelihood of her finding a good man, being a divorcee with post-pregnancy body, is limited to nil.

You have to get inside her head and change her perceptions. Keep an element of disdain in your demeanor too. Make her insecure.

She is only doing this because she has a warped view of the future and her prospects. Take her down a notch or ten, and the life and companionship you offer will start looking good to her.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 72592284


How pathetic. Pleading and trying to negotiate for a woman to keep you.
So fucking sad.
 Quoting: Nefarious Libertine


It might be. And to be fair I'm tired of pleading with her to fucking love me and all that shit. (Instead of being irate at me all the time.)

But when this person is all you've ever known, man, it's like the moment before you jump into the Grand Canyon!

She's all I've known my adult life till now. (Immediately married after school.)
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71473722




I am sorry to hear about this. After 25 years with a guy I married out of high school, although he was always controlling, he became very abusive and nasty after starting a high stress job.

I put up with that for two years, pleading with him to have some mercy. In January he came him to find me gone. I took as many of my personal items as I could, and left everything behind. (We don't have children, we never wanted any)

Finally after two days of silence I agreed to meet him at a public place.

He looked like he was going to shatter. (Not that I was doing great myself) losing the other half of your soul is a pain not easily explained.

He swore he would be like he used to be. Wept openly. Against all better judgment I went back to him.


It was a complete shock to his system. Since coming back, He has been the guy I first met since then, unfailingly.


My advice is to not be her enabler. You must get a lawyer. I can assure you , I guarantee the legal issues are NEVER a done deal unless it's in writing and signed by a judge.

Take whatever agreement u have to that lawyer for review.

You need to rip the bandaid off, now. There's no court custody arrangement. See the lawyer, a GOOD family lawyer, not a bullshitter. if u r able take the kids and move to an apartment. Do it asap.

The bitch needs to het a job. Less Facebook, more work.

They tend to wake up when a vacuum develops and they fully get what they Phuked up.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75117832


You don't have kids. You don't count. Go away.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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07/14/2017 01:59 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
Tell her you think it's a good idea. You have plans and she didn't really fit into them. Be emotionless and cold. Actually feel yourself letting go.

Either she will snap out of it due to the female curiosity of what you are up to, or she will realize what she is losing...or at least you will have some momentum on your way to a better life.
 Quoting: The Rickest Rick Sanchez


Actually I sort of did that these last few months.

Prior to that, the arguments we had were insane, near heart-attack inducing.

So I started emotionally distancing myself so I wouldn't take things so seriously.

And to be frank, I think that to a big degree brought me to where I'm at now.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71473722


I know "woulda, coulda, shoulda" doesn't help now, but maybe in the future :

Do not let the next one talk to you like you say she did. Nip that shit in the bud from the get go next time. When they get out of hand, they are often wanting you to step up and drop your balls on the table. If you don't do it, and you take it like a bitch, then you will forever be a bitch in her eyes. It's like testing boundaries with parents when you were a kid. Kids do shit up to the point that they get smacked. If they get away with it, they will do it again and go further. I'm not advocating actual physical response, but you can definitely let her know where the line is that shall not be crossed when it comes to respect.
 Quoting: The Rickest Rick Sanchez


Agreed.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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07/14/2017 02:02 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
...


Make clear to her that she is going to wind up in the same boat with the next man, it is just a matter of time, because relationships are only fireworks in the beginning, then it's all hard work.

And the likelihood of her finding a good man, being a divorcee with post-pregnancy body, is limited to nil.

You have to get inside her head and change her perceptions. Keep an element of disdain in your demeanor too. Make her insecure.

She is only doing this because she has a warped view of the future and her prospects. Take her down a notch or ten, and the life and companionship you offer will start looking good to her.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 72592284


How pathetic. Pleading and trying to negotiate for a woman to keep you.
So fucking sad.
 Quoting: Nefarious Libertine


It might be. And to be fair I'm tired of pleading with her to fucking love me and all that shit. (Instead of being irate at me all the time.)

But when this person is all you've ever known, man, it's like the moment before you jump into the Grand Canyon!

She's all I've known my adult life till now. (Immediately married after school.)
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71473722


Do not be pathetic. Be confident. Mildly disdainful. Frank. This is psychological warfare. Your goal is to undermine her confidence. If necessary, buy time. Lay down the law. Say we are going to have to give this another week at least, because there is much to sort out. That's your final answer. DO NOT BEG. COMMAND. They respond to decisiveness. Begging, crying, being other than a father-type, is blood in the water to them. They get off on knowing they can reduce you to a pathetic state, and then they lose interest in you. It's a push and pull. Project confidence, be intense, control her.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 72592284


I think you're right.

I know in some of our arguments where she went off on me, and well, thrashed me to the point I teared up, she responded with this look of glee in her eyes.

Man, I don't know. Maybe I had too much of a romantic view of marriage.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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07/14/2017 02:03 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
Alright man ... I'm almost done binge listening to Nine Inch Nails.

Now I'm thinking about hitting "Skinny Puppy" which is some really dark shit!
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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07/14/2017 02:03 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
My question is, who the hell is going to want a 40-something person thats got five boys?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71473722



Jebus what the F were you thinking having 5 flipping kids?

My god.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 51056313


I know, I know.
jkm1864
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07/14/2017 02:04 PM

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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
Ok...i can handle street lights being mistaken for dwarf stars that house evil aliens


but...


when did this become cucklikeproductions.com ???
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75228069


Because now it'll be too creepy to watch alien movies or documentaries being a newly single guy.

I mean come on, watch The Fourth Kind, then wake up at 3 am and realize you're all alone, no wife, no kids, no dogs -- creepy as hell.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71473722





This is the reason She is leaving You. You need to find where You left Your balls and reclaim them quick.
Daily Pussy Grabber
Nefarious Libertine

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07/14/2017 02:06 PM

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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
ok this may sound too easy - but I bet you it will not only work, but also will help you with your outlook. Take the boys to church, Sunday school. Get involved with church and go Wed and Sun - or whenever they are open and u can. Also get involved with cub scouts, little league and any other of your children's activities. You are sure to eventually meet a single mom looking for hubs .......... Also, don't be LOOKING - don't get in a hurry, or u won't find it. It's when u are not looking that you find what is right. Just concentrate SOLELY on the children, church and their activities - and God ....... Nothing else. When pain gets bad, turn to God - Not Booze.

been there did that -- wish I had done what I am advising you now.
 Quoting: Buffalo_Gal_13


I'm thinking of doing that too.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71473722


take your WIFE to church and pray with her and if she has been unfaithful, say in your prayer with her you hope God will help her to see how she has hurt you and wronged you. ask God in your prayer with her, to help you discover what makes her more content and happy and don't just put it all on her to make her feel a little better about what she's done. ask God if it is her sin that is separating you, wash it away and then pump her full of a hot sticky load and make her yours again.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75228336


I don't think she ever cheated. But she sure as hell did flirt with guys in front of me.

One of those times, I damn near made a scene at a party over it.

i want our family saved but I'm so sick of her cruel way of arguing and her expecting me cater to her ever need like some waiter while being treated like a yard worker.

But when things were good, she got my sense of humor, I could make her laugh, well I used to could.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71473722


It's over dude. If she was flirting with guys in front of you she has no respect for you at all zip,zilch,nada,none. You can't love someone if you have no respect for them.
You need to focus to find and do shit that makes you happy.
And quit fucking thinking about relationships!!! That strawberry blond should have been a thought about a nice roll in the hay not about her being a high maintenance relationship that you have to keep wowing. Your to busy thinking and dreaming of the future than focusing on the here and now.

Last Edited by Nefarious Libertine on 07/14/2017 02:09 PM
My manner of thinking, so you say, cannot be approved. Do you suppose I care? A poor fool indeed is he who adopts a manner of thinking of others!- Marquis De Sade
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07/14/2017 02:07 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
I feel like I want to find a woman that I can experience true love with pronto.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71473722


Dear friend, I have walked in those shoes. I had no idea what being loved was, and it seems you also have no idea what true love is.

Reach out to a church sponsored divorce group and get yourself straight before you just jump into another boiling pot of doom.

I am single for over a year now and I LOVE life. Try it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 2307286


But what's so great about waking up in the middle of the night alone?

Away from your wife, your kids, your dogs?

To add insult to injury, awakening after having a dream about a family outing you had, and then realizing you're all fucking alone.

Sounds like torture man. But I want to believe what you say.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71473722


Listen, I have actually prevented this situation with the strategies I am describing. She must be understood as the eldest and most helpful of your children, but a child just the same. It is your job to control her, or someone else, such as our culture of J*w*sh poison, will.

She is like a teenager who wants to head to LA, thinking she's going to be an A-list star, not aware of the level of competition or the daily struggles, or the statistically minimal chance of her even getting noticed. You are the dad who should have kept her from ever getting this idea in the first place, but who now must explain how the world actually works.

That's the reality we're living in. Women are children who require some amount of policing. You can't just smack them and tie them up, so you must use psychological devices. Get inside her head. That is your only hope.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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07/14/2017 02:08 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
just remember that a Chad that will fuck a married woman with 5 boys and who is the only woman her husband has ever been with is guaranteed to be doing it to lots of other guy's husband so you WILL have unseen forces who will help you , that's what moral force is so don't be afraid to confront him in front of her, he will NOT win and also even if he did and got the best of you in a fight, that is the ultimate test of her also. If she sees you get PHYSICALLY hurt and THEN leaves you, she is going off to where she belongs with him. If she is provoked to see she really loves you then it is good, her true feelings are revealed and she sees clearly what she is really doing to you.

anyways not to get you in trouble but it might be worth it, and if he's rich odds are he WOULD NOT fight for her. once a guy won't fight for her, that is the NUMBER ONE turn off to a bitchwoman. there is absolutely NO CHANCE of sex after the rich guy does not fight for her, and if you were willing to fight for her, that is FUCKING PRIMAL for women, the MOST primal thing to a woman, beyond physical attraction, beyond money, beyond everything. that is why stupid ugly black guys got 9 beautiful white sluts lined up every night because white guys WON"T FIGHT FOR THEM and black guys WILL.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75228336


Makes sense. I just saw an ugly one with a 9 yesterday and wondered how is that possible when there's so many good looking Chads at this restaurant.
Anonymous Coward
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07/14/2017 02:10 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
Tell her you think it's a good idea. You have plans and she didn't really fit into them. Be emotionless and cold. Actually feel yourself letting go.

Either she will snap out of it due to the female curiosity of what you are up to, or she will realize what she is losing...or at least you will have some momentum on your way to a better life.
 Quoting: The Rickest Rick Sanchez


Take this advice OP, it's basically the same as my reply on page 2. Make her think you are excited by the idea you can now fuck new and YOUNG pussy!
The Rickest Rick Sanchez
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07/14/2017 02:17 PM

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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
Tell her you think it's a good idea. You have plans and she didn't really fit into them. Be emotionless and cold. Actually feel yourself letting go.

Either she will snap out of it due to the female curiosity of what you are up to, or she will realize what she is losing...or at least you will have some momentum on your way to a better life.
 Quoting: The Rickest Rick Sanchez


Actually I sort of did that these last few months.

Prior to that, the arguments we had were insane, near heart-attack inducing.

So I started emotionally distancing myself so I wouldn't take things so seriously.

And to be frank, I think that to a big degree brought me to where I'm at now.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71473722


I know "woulda, coulda, shoulda" doesn't help now, but maybe in the future :

Do not let the next one talk to you like you say she did. Nip that shit in the bud from the get go next time. When they get out of hand, they are often wanting you to step up and drop your balls on the table. If you don't do it, and you take it like a bitch, then you will forever be a bitch in her eyes. It's like testing boundaries with parents when you were a kid. Kids do shit up to the point that they get smacked. If they get away with it, they will do it again and go further. I'm not advocating actual physical response, but you can definitely let her know where the line is that shall not be crossed when it comes to respect.
 Quoting: The Rickest Rick Sanchez


Agreed.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71473722


Its a neverending job too.

My wife and i have a good relationship, but the other night she decided to point out as I was making some homemade biscuits that she uses the "other" butter when baking, not the "good" stuff I was using.

The cost difference is basically negligible to me, (maybe a buck?) but one comes in a pretty gold foil (Kerry Gold), tastes better, and "seems" expensive. All subjective reasons with no merit to conserve one over the other. She has made similar comments in the past, so this time I responded: "That's fine. I don't mind that you use the other kind"

She paused, with a slightly widened eyes, and said. "oh..ok..." and quietly mumbled "taking the power back.." and then went back to her business.

It was a small moment in time, but a huge event in maintaining a proper relationship perspective.
The Rickest Rick Sanchez comments are meant for entertainment purposes only and should not be construed to reflect the feelings and opinions, implied or expressed, of the author.
Humanity Blows

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07/14/2017 02:19 PM

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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
Tonight the wife wants us to tell the kids were divorcing.

And today I feel punched in the stomach and tempted to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails.

I dont know how Ill emotionally survive this.

Weve been married 15 years. Got kids.

All these years man, all I did was take care of her. But in arguments shed graphically tell me how much she thinks I suck. She expended more KINETIC ENERGY chewing me out than she did telling me she loved me.

And fuck, thats what I wanted, a true blue wife who loved me.

Facebook fucked everything up for us.

That and her wannabe rich friends who drove luxury cars but were in debt to their eyeballs.

This caused her to shift her perception of me from being her beloved husband to some faceless personality filling the role of husband expected to do breadwin, do most of the chores, pay the bills, and shuttle back to his backyard shed.

Making this worse is shes the only girlfriend/woman Ive ever had or been with.

We have five boys.

My question is, who the hell is going to want a 40-something person thats got five boys?

I think her friends convinced her that shell have the time of her life. I know she could get dates lined up easily if she wanted to.

For me, the thought of sitting home alone on Friday night watching my boys while shes on a date is like a knife being driven into the heart. How the fuck will I survive this?

I feel like I want to find a woman that I can experience true love with pronto.

Luckily for me, Im in shape, got some muscle, and get some female glances. But Im not a tall Chad and Im not outgoing like Chad, but Ive got wit.

Still, Im afraid of getting lost in love with another woman again. My wife years ago told me that no matter what shed never leave me or divorce me, that all she needed to be happy was me and the kids.

(Sad laugh. Takes swig of beer.)

So how the hell do I get over this?

I cant do the clubbing/bar scene to find a good woman. And I hear the dating sites are scams.

Any thoughts?

I want to voice my feelings of being disenfranchised like this and put that back at her that she promised shed never leave me. But that wouldnt be a good idea because were actually getting along much better now than we have for the past few months.

Aside from figuring out how to deal with my emotional Chernobyl, and the wasteland that is dating, should I get an apartment close by to the kids or have some distance?

(P.S. Dont mention money or legal stuff. We got that squared away.)

Thank you.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71473722


Carnac
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User ID: 69151933
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07/14/2017 02:20 PM

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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
Get a dog and go fishing.5a
 Quoting: the deplorable ar-15 nut


That and her wannabe rich friends who drove luxury cars but were in debt to their eyeballs.

Hmmm... where have I heard that before?

Oh, yeah... I keep saying that about my wife. ;-)

What happened yesterday, or a year ago, or 15 years ago, is history. Cant be changed.

If it resulted in damage, say to your marriage, it may be able to be repaired. But what happened yesterday happened and can't be changed.

Wake up tomorrow and make up a new plan... if it is keeping your marriage alive, so be it. If it is moving on without your wife, so be with it.

If the plan includes sulking about what happened yesterday, you are wasting your time and not going to move forward.
BoatyMcBoatFace
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07/14/2017 02:21 PM

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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
I feel bad for you OP. That child support is going to suck.
BOATYMCBOATFACE
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Anonymous Coward
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United States
07/14/2017 02:21 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
Tell her you think it's a good idea. You have plans and she didn't really fit into them. Be emotionless and cold. Actually feel yourself letting go.

Either she will snap out of it due to the female curiosity of what you are up to, or she will realize what she is losing...or at least you will have some momentum on your way to a better life.
 Quoting: The Rickest Rick Sanchez


Take this advice OP, it's basically the same as my reply on page 2. Make her think you are excited by the idea you can now fuck new and YOUNG pussy!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 46240406


This is retarded. They have kids. This isn't a high school romance. There is no brighter future. Walking away from your family over petty relationship tensions is like burning down your house because you just saw a brochure advertising a better house. You already had something real, now all you have is smoking ruins and daydreams.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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07/14/2017 02:21 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
Ok...i can handle street lights being mistaken for dwarf stars that house evil aliens


but...


when did this become cucklikeproductions.com ???
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75228069


Because now it'll be too creepy to watch alien movies or documentaries being a newly single guy.

I mean come on, watch The Fourth Kind, then wake up at 3 am and realize you're all alone, no wife, no kids, no dogs -- creepy as hell.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71473722





This is the reason She is leaving You. You need to find where You left Your balls and reclaim them quick.
 Quoting: jkm1864


Sounds catchy what you said ... but it's just movie dialogue.

What does that even really mean?

Give a serious example.
Anonymous Coward
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07/14/2017 02:21 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
First of all, huge congratulations. You have reproduced big-time with five healthy boys. You have won the genetic game. The rest is gravy, but here's how to play it.

I would go sort of passive on the subject of divorce, your relationship, or whatever fight she is picking at the moment. If she wants a divorce, let her file. Show in word and deed that you want to be with the kids.

DON'T lash out and say you're going to get new pussy. If you say that and the kids hear it, there goes your chances at custody. You want custody and with her paying. You can get it, or at least joint custody, but you have to fight sneakier and colder than a woman.

Lawyer up. Go see a lawyer today if possible, interview several. Be prepared to spend for this. In fact get interviews with all the decent divorce lawyers in town. This will freeze her out -- if she hasn't already lawyered up.

Get rid of all your kind feelings for her. She is a typical female doing typical things. I have been about where you are, my wife was every so often saying she wanted a divorce. She treated me like dirt and got my younger son to do the same thing.

A good idea is to stop taking care of her. Don't do all those little things. Remember you have to go cold on her. She has to feel what she's missing. If she isn't already seeing someone else, and maybe if it is, she'll really feel it.

What is happening to you is typical. Once the kids are past a vulnerable stage, women normally lose the attraction to their husbands. Your being around and doting on them is seen as weak. You are supposed to leave and go slay mammoths, and get other pussy, is what her biology is telling her.

Of course we don't have mammoths and you take huge legal risks by going for other pussy. Don't overreact, but quietly lawyer up. You may be advised to hire a private detective and if so, do it.

I am still married, but my feelings for my wife will never come back. In the process I've gone back to the pre-commitment state and am more or less waiting for the kids to be out, then I am as free as I want to be. I've detached her from my identity.

And predictably, now she's more attracted to me. (Of course that's how women work, when you don't need them, they want you.) But screw it, I am a different man now, not the one that committed to her.
me
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07/14/2017 02:22 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
I think you need to see a marriage therapist. Don't give up. Maybe she thinks she can get better than you, but women often find after a divorce that they can only get a lot less than they think. I will pray for you.
Anonymous Coward
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07/14/2017 02:23 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
Get a dog and go fishing.5a
 Quoting: the deplorable ar-15 nut


Priceless advice:-)
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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07/14/2017 02:23 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
...


I'm thinking of doing that too.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71473722


take your WIFE to church and pray with her and if she has been unfaithful, say in your prayer with her you hope God will help her to see how she has hurt you and wronged you. ask God in your prayer with her, to help you discover what makes her more content and happy and don't just put it all on her to make her feel a little better about what she's done. ask God if it is her sin that is separating you, wash it away and then pump her full of a hot sticky load and make her yours again.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75228336


I don't think she ever cheated. But she sure as hell did flirt with guys in front of me.

One of those times, I damn near made a scene at a party over it.

i want our family saved but I'm so sick of her cruel way of arguing and her expecting me cater to her ever need like some waiter while being treated like a yard worker.

But when things were good, she got my sense of humor, I could make her laugh, well I used to could.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71473722


It's over dude. If she was flirting with guys in front of you she has no respect for you at all zip,zilch,nada,none. You can't love someone if you have no respect for them.
You need to focus to find and do shit that makes you happy.
And quit fucking thinking about relationships!!! That strawberry blond should have been a thought about a nice roll in the hay not about her being a high maintenance relationship that you have to keep wowing. Your to busy thinking and dreaming of the future than focusing on the here and now.
 Quoting: Nefarious Libertine


I hear you man.

But it feels like being orphaned, or at least what I'd supsect it might feel like.
Anonymous Coward
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07/14/2017 02:24 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
I'm sure it's already been said but focus on your kids then yourself. I will


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