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I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips

 
Anonymous Coward
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07/14/2017 02:24 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
First of all, huge congratulations. You have reproduced big-time with five healthy boys. You have won the genetic game. The rest is gravy, but here's how to play it.

I would go sort of passive on the subject of divorce, your relationship, or whatever fight she is picking at the moment. If she wants a divorce, let her file. Show in word and deed that you want to be with the kids.

DON'T lash out and say you're going to get new pussy. If you say that and the kids hear it, there goes your chances at custody. You want custody and with her paying. You can get it, or at least joint custody, but you have to fight sneakier and colder than a woman.

Lawyer up. Go see a lawyer today if possible, interview several. Be prepared to spend for this. In fact get interviews with all the decent divorce lawyers in town. This will freeze her out -- if she hasn't already lawyered up.

Get rid of all your kind feelings for her. She is a typical female doing typical things. I have been about where you are, my wife was every so often saying she wanted a divorce. She treated me like dirt and got my younger son to do the same thing.

A good idea is to stop taking care of her. Don't do all those little things. Remember you have to go cold on her. She has to feel what she's missing. If she isn't already seeing someone else, and maybe if it is, she'll really feel it.

What is happening to you is typical. Once the kids are past a vulnerable stage, women normally lose the attraction to their husbands. Your being around and doting on them is seen as weak. You are supposed to leave and go slay mammoths, and get other pussy, is what her biology is telling her.

Of course we don't have mammoths and you take huge legal risks by going for other pussy. Don't overreact, but quietly lawyer up. You may be advised to hire a private detective and if so, do it.

I am still married, but my feelings for my wife will never come back. In the process I've gone back to the pre-commitment state and am more or less waiting for the kids to be out, then I am as free as I want to be. I've detached her from my identity.

And predictably, now she's more attracted to me. (Of course that's how women work, when you don't need them, they want you.) But screw it, I am a different man now, not the one that committed to her.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 47678081


So I wouldn't cooperate in her joint announcement of a divorce. She hasn't even filed yet right? Just tell her that what she does is up to her but you are not involved. Detach, don't try to clean up loose ends. Women hate loose ends and need you to clean them up. Don't volunteer, just don't get involved. Good luck, be strong and silent. And be kind and protective to the kids.
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07/14/2017 02:24 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
You have 3 options.
1) tell her to fuck off and then you go slay some younger tail.
2) make Chad get on his knees and suck on the barrel of a gun, tell your wife about what will happen to him and her if she is a disloyal whore ever again.
3) try the 180 method(google it) if you want to keep the family together , and remain a pathetic cuck. 90% chance this will work, but you will have zero self respect.




Tonight the wife wants us to tell the kids were divorcing.

And today I feel punched in the stomach and tempted to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails.

I dont know how Ill emotionally survive this.

Weve been married 15 years. Got kids.

All these years man, all I did was take care of her. But in arguments shed graphically tell me how much she thinks I suck. She expended more KINETIC ENERGY chewing me out than she did telling me she loved me.

And fuck, thats what I wanted, a true blue wife who loved me.

Facebook fucked everything up for us.

That and her wannabe rich friends who drove luxury cars but were in debt to their eyeballs.

This caused her to shift her perception of me from being her beloved husband to some faceless personality filling the role of husband expected to do breadwin, do most of the chores, pay the bills, and shuttle back to his backyard shed.

Making this worse is shes the only girlfriend/woman Ive ever had or been with.

We have five boys.

My question is, who the hell is going to want a 40-something person thats got five boys?

I think her friends convinced her that shell have the time of her life. I know she could get dates lined up easily if she wanted to.

For me, the thought of sitting home alone on Friday night watching my boys while shes on a date is like a knife being driven into the heart. How the fuck will I survive this?

I feel like I want to find a woman that I can experience true love with pronto.

Luckily for me, Im in shape, got some muscle, and get some female glances. But Im not a tall Chad and Im not outgoing like Chad, but Ive got wit.

Still, Im afraid of getting lost in love with another woman again. My wife years ago told me that no matter what shed never leave me or divorce me, that all she needed to be happy was me and the kids.

(Sad laugh. Takes swig of beer.)

So how the hell do I get over this?

I cant do the clubbing/bar scene to find a good woman. And I hear the dating sites are scams.

Any thoughts?

I want to voice my feelings of being disenfranchised like this and put that back at her that she promised shed never leave me. But that wouldnt be a good idea because were actually getting along much better now than we have for the past few months.

Aside from figuring out how to deal with my emotional Chernobyl, and the wasteland that is dating, should I get an apartment close by to the kids or have some distance?

(P.S. Dont mention money or legal stuff. We got that squared away.)

Thank you.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71473722
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07/14/2017 02:24 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
I'm sure it's already been said but focus on your kids then yourself. That's what I would do* fuckin keyboard
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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07/14/2017 02:26 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
I feel like I want to find a woman that I can experience true love with pronto.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71473722


Dear friend, I have walked in those shoes. I had no idea what being loved was, and it seems you also have no idea what true love is.

Reach out to a church sponsored divorce group and get yourself straight before you just jump into another boiling pot of doom.

I am single for over a year now and I LOVE life. Try it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 2307286


But what's so great about waking up in the middle of the night alone?

Away from your wife, your kids, your dogs?

To add insult to injury, awakening after having a dream about a family outing you had, and then realizing you're all fucking alone.

Sounds like torture man. But I want to believe what you say.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71473722


Listen, I have actually prevented this situation with the strategies I am describing. She must be understood as the eldest and most helpful of your children, but a child just the same. It is your job to control her, or someone else, such as our culture of J*w*sh poison, will.

She is like a teenager who wants to head to LA, thinking she's going to be an A-list star, not aware of the level of competition or the daily struggles, or the statistically minimal chance of her even getting noticed. You are the dad who should have kept her from ever getting this idea in the first place, but who now must explain how the world actually works.

That's the reality we're living in. Women are children who require some amount of policing. You can't just smack them and tie them up, so you must use psychological devices. Get inside her head. That is your only hope.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 72592284


You're right. I believe that. That's why I've had a lot of arguments with her. She'd get some crazy, stress inducing idea that we need to do such and such or buy such and such.

At the same time though, I know her stupid friends fill her mind up with all this "you could do it", "don't let anyone say you can't" rubbish.

A few years back, we had the chance to move, and I didn't pull the trigger on that. That was a huge mistake. It would have taken her awway from their dum ass influence.
Anonymous Coward
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07/14/2017 02:28 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
Yes she did.
Don't be a fuxking idiot , they don't leave till they have other shit lined up (unless they are being abused)
Use your fucking head - stop being a dumbass.


No wonder she left you, you are a retard who is pushing the Chad psyop.

I hope she gave you herpes while she was cheating on you.
 Quoting: R. Wordsworth


She didn't cheat on me and hasn't.

But, I think after we split, she could snag a Chad, at least for a night or two. However she couldn't get him long term.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71473722
Anonymous Coward
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07/14/2017 02:29 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
My scummy little sister did this every couple years or so to her husband, who made great money, took care of her, and never cheated on her. She would say they were splitting, move into her own apartment, screw around with a few guys, get treated like dirt for 6 months, and then try to get back with her husband before the divorce was finalized.

He took her back twice, and then the 3rd time he said no way. Now she has re-married and has a husband who she supports and who beats the living crap out of her, and her kids are totally screwed up. She got hers... but the kids are still permanently broken so it is a no-win for everybody.
hillbilly

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07/14/2017 02:29 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
My question is, who the hell is going to want a 40-something person thats got five boys?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71473722



Jebus what the F were you thinking having 5 flipping kids?

My god.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 51056313


I know, I know.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71473722

After reading through your other thread, something doesn't add up with you. You don't say things that a father of 5 boys (I didn't see that info on the other) would say. Normally you would have talked about them ahead of her. You don't sound mature enough, are they really yours? Or did you take on someone else's?
Sorry if I missed the details in this or the previous thread.

Last Edited by hillbilly on 07/14/2017 02:45 PM
Call me a pot but heat me not.-Putin
Silence is where God speaks. Anything else is but a poor translation. -Rumi
Wanna hear God laugh? Just talk about your plans.
An old broom knows all the corners.
Slow is steady; steady is smooth; smooth is fast.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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07/14/2017 02:30 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
Tell her you think it's a good idea. You have plans and she didn't really fit into them. Be emotionless and cold. Actually feel yourself letting go.

Either she will snap out of it due to the female curiosity of what you are up to, or she will realize what she is losing...or at least you will have some momentum on your way to a better life.
 Quoting: The Rickest Rick Sanchez


Take this advice OP, it's basically the same as my reply on page 2. Make her think you are excited by the idea you can now fuck new and YOUNG pussy!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 46240406


I'm not sure if I should. We're pretty amiable now, getting along the best we have in quite some time.

And I don't want to shake the boat because getting into a heated argument is way too easy.

However she sure seems pretty excited. I think her friends talked her into thinking she's going to find some great guy who's gonna wine and dine her and all that shit.
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07/14/2017 02:30 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
Tonight the wife wants us to tell the kids were divorcing.

And today I feel punched in the stomach and tempted to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails.

I dont know how Ill emotionally survive this.

Weve been married 15 years. Got kids.

All these years man, all I did was take care of her. But in arguments shed graphically tell me how much she thinks I suck. She expended more KINETIC ENERGY chewing me out than she did telling me she loved me.

And fuck, thats what I wanted, a true blue wife who loved me.

Facebook fucked everything up for us.

That and her wannabe rich friends who drove luxury cars but were in debt to their eyeballs.

This caused her to shift her perception of me from being her beloved husband to some faceless personality filling the role of husband expected to do breadwin, do most of the chores, pay the bills, and shuttle back to his backyard shed.

Making this worse is shes the only girlfriend/woman Ive ever had or been with.

We have five boys.

My question is, who the hell is going to want a 40-something person thats got five boys?

I think her friends convinced her that shell have the time of her life. I know she could get dates lined up easily if she wanted to.

For me, the thought of sitting home alone on Friday night watching my boys while shes on a date is like a knife being driven into the heart. How the fuck will I survive this?

I feel like I want to find a woman that I can experience true love with pronto.

Luckily for me, Im in shape, got some muscle, and get some female glances. But Im not a tall Chad and Im not outgoing like Chad, but Ive got wit.

Still, Im afraid of getting lost in love with another woman again. My wife years ago told me that no matter what shed never leave me or divorce me, that all she needed to be happy was me and the kids.

(Sad laugh. Takes swig of beer.)

So how the hell do I get over this?

I cant do the clubbing/bar scene to find a good woman. And I hear the dating sites are scams.

Any thoughts?

I want to voice my feelings of being disenfranchised like this and put that back at her that she promised shed never leave me. But that wouldnt be a good idea because were actually getting along much better now than we have for the past few months.

Aside from figuring out how to deal with my emotional Chernobyl, and the wasteland that is dating, should I get an apartment close by to the kids or have some distance?

(P.S. Dont mention money or legal stuff. We got that squared away.)

Thank you.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71473722


plenty of good women at "CHURCH", not club's/bar's (full of w-ores). You wife will get the clap!
Anonymous Coward
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07/14/2017 02:30 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
You have 3 options.
1) tell her to fuck off and then you go slay some younger tail.
2) make Chad get on his knees and suck on the barrel of a gun, tell your wife about what will happen to him and her if she is a disloyal whore ever again.
3) try the 180 method(google it) if you want to keep the family together , and remain a pathetic cuck. 90% chance this will work, but you will have zero self respect.



 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 74251373


I guess what I proposed is like the 180 method, although I never heard of that name. What I did was not an act, but a true emotional recovery of the boy and young man I had been.

And I've got plenty of self respect. Not only that, this method doesn't hurt you a bit in court. There's nothing in it that can be criticized.
Anonymous Coward
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07/14/2017 02:32 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
Tell her you think it's a good idea. You have plans and she didn't really fit into them. Be emotionless and cold. Actually feel yourself letting go.

Either she will snap out of it due to the female curiosity of what you are up to, or she will realize what she is losing...or at least you will have some momentum on your way to a better life.
 Quoting: The Rickest Rick Sanchez


Take this advice OP, it's basically the same as my reply on page 2. Make her think you are excited by the idea you can now fuck new and YOUNG pussy!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 46240406


I'm not sure if I should. We're pretty amiable now, getting along the best we have in quite some time.

And I don't want to shake the boat because getting into a heated argument is way too easy.

However she sure seems pretty excited. I think her friends talked her into thinking she's going to find some great guy who's gonna wine and dine her and all that shit.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71473722


If she's excited, let her do all the heavy lifting. Let her file, let her tell the kids, don't approve of anything like that. Your agreement gives her emotional energy.

Your emotional withdrawal will probably bring her confusion and dread, and it's easy for you once you shift your attitude.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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07/14/2017 02:32 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
...


Actually I sort of did that these last few months.

Prior to that, the arguments we had were insane, near heart-attack inducing.

So I started emotionally distancing myself so I wouldn't take things so seriously.

And to be frank, I think that to a big degree brought me to where I'm at now.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71473722


I know "woulda, coulda, shoulda" doesn't help now, but maybe in the future :

Do not let the next one talk to you like you say she did. Nip that shit in the bud from the get go next time. When they get out of hand, they are often wanting you to step up and drop your balls on the table. If you don't do it, and you take it like a bitch, then you will forever be a bitch in her eyes. It's like testing boundaries with parents when you were a kid. Kids do shit up to the point that they get smacked. If they get away with it, they will do it again and go further. I'm not advocating actual physical response, but you can definitely let her know where the line is that shall not be crossed when it comes to respect.
 Quoting: The Rickest Rick Sanchez


Agreed.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71473722


Its a neverending job too.

My wife and i have a good relationship, but the other night she decided to point out as I was making some homemade biscuits that she uses the "other" butter when baking, not the "good" stuff I was using.

The cost difference is basically negligible to me, (maybe a buck?) but one comes in a pretty gold foil (Kerry Gold), tastes better, and "seems" expensive. All subjective reasons with no merit to conserve one over the other. She has made similar comments in the past, so this time I responded: "That's fine. I don't mind that you use the other kind"

She paused, with a slightly widened eyes, and said. "oh..ok..." and quietly mumbled "taking the power back.." and then went back to her business.

It was a small moment in time, but a huge event in maintaining a proper relationship perspective.
 Quoting: The Rickest Rick Sanchez


That's cool man.

My experience was, that if I tried to take charge like that it could erupt into an argument.

But with all the stuff everyone's saying here, it makes me second guess my experience.

Dude, we argued a LOT. So I couldn't have been that docile. A docile guy isn't going to say, "Wait, what did you mean by that?" "Say that again ..."
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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07/14/2017 02:35 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
Get a dog and go fishing.5a
 Quoting: the deplorable ar-15 nut


That and her wannabe rich friends who drove luxury cars but were in debt to their eyeballs.

Hmmm... where have I heard that before?

Oh, yeah... I keep saying that about my wife. ;-)

What happened yesterday, or a year ago, or 15 years ago, is history. Cant be changed.

If it resulted in damage, say to your marriage, it may be able to be repaired. But what happened yesterday happened and can't be changed.

Wake up tomorrow and make up a new plan... if it is keeping your marriage alive, so be it. If it is moving on without your wife, so be with it.

If the plan includes sulking about what happened yesterday, you are wasting your time and not going to move forward.
 Quoting: Carnac


Good stuff.

But man, I spent the better part of the marriage forgiving and forgetting and I wonder if it led to a lot of this.

Me just letting stuff go. Not making her accountable you know?

At the same time, if I just got over her most recent bullshit act of flirting with that guy in front of me, maybe we could move forward.
Anonymous Coward
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07/14/2017 02:36 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
She is 40 with 5 kids? Sure she can get dates, but she will NEVER be able to keep a man that makes her happy.

At 40 she is all used up player, and at 40 you can make beautiful babies for decades to come. Feminists sold her a lie and she will die alone and miserable because she bought that lie.

Living good is the best revenge sir. Now get to it ;)
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 72497887


I have observed five divorced women in my neighborhood fold up when they hit age 50... They are wallowing in their own misery and still have another 30-35 years to go...
Anonymous Coward
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07/14/2017 02:37 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
It takes two to argue. You have every right to disengage.

My wife then used the kids against me. I told her this was wrong. She still does this sometimes, and I think less of her for it, and the kids know she's doing it, although I was afraid for a while they didn't.

Rather than "taking the power back" which implies an ongoing relationship, I advise disengagement because you're past the point of trying to make it better. You need to disengage and let her flounder.
Anonymous Coward
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07/14/2017 02:38 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
My scummy little sister did this every couple years or so to her husband, who made great money, took care of her, and never cheated on her. She would say they were splitting, move into her own apartment, screw around with a few guys, get treated like dirt for 6 months, and then try to get back with her husband before the divorce was finalized.

He took her back twice, and then the 3rd time he said no way. Now she has re-married and has a husband who she supports and who beats the living crap out of her, and her kids are totally screwed up. She got hers... but the kids are still permanently broken so it is a no-win for everybody.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75101320


What goes around comes around!
Anonymous Coward
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07/14/2017 02:38 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
Tonight the wife wants us to tell the kids were divorcing.

And today I feel punched in the stomach and tempted to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails.

I dont know how Ill emotionally survive this.

Weve been married 15 years. Got kids.

All these years man, all I did was take care of her. But in arguments shed graphically tell me how much she thinks I suck. She expended more KINETIC ENERGY chewing me out than she did telling me she loved me.

And fuck, thats what I wanted, a true blue wife who loved me.

Facebook fucked everything up for us.

That and her wannabe rich friends who drove luxury cars but were in debt to their eyeballs.

This caused her to shift her perception of me from being her beloved husband to some faceless personality filling the role of husband expected to do breadwin, do most of the chores, pay the bills, and shuttle back to his backyard shed.

Making this worse is shes the only girlfriend/woman Ive ever had or been with.

We have five boys.

My question is, who the hell is going to want a 40-something person thats got five boys?

I think her friends convinced her that shell have the time of her life. I know she could get dates lined up easily if she wanted to.

For me, the thought of sitting home alone on Friday night watching my boys while shes on a date is like a knife being driven into the heart. How the fuck will I survive this?

I feel like I want to find a woman that I can experience true love with pronto.

Luckily for me, Im in shape, got some muscle, and get some female glances. But Im not a tall Chad and Im not outgoing like Chad, but Ive got wit.

Still, Im afraid of getting lost in love with another woman again. My wife years ago told me that no matter what shed never leave me or divorce me, that all she needed to be happy was me and the kids.

(Sad laugh. Takes swig of beer.)

So how the hell do I get over this?

I cant do the clubbing/bar scene to find a good woman. And I hear the dating sites are scams.

Any thoughts?

I want to voice my feelings of being disenfranchised like this and put that back at her that she promised shed never leave me. But that wouldnt be a good idea because were actually getting along much better now than we have for the past few months.

Aside from figuring out how to deal with my emotional Chernobyl, and the wasteland that is dating, should I get an apartment close by to the kids or have some distance?

(P.S. Dont mention money or legal stuff. We got that squared away.)

Thank you.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71473722


go bang a 25 year old they love older guys, personally I'm 48 and bang a 31 year old Cambodian hottie. consider it a blessing to be rid of a skank that hated and used you.
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07/14/2017 02:38 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
What the fucking fuck is with all these retard data mining posts on here lately? Yes I KNOW where I am. But this is overkill. Every single fucking post on here is blatant obvious data mine shit and retarded thread titles to agitate and get a response. It is way too fucking obvious and over the top. owners must have changed and the retarded one took over
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07/14/2017 02:39 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
Get a dog and go fishing.5a
 Quoting: the deplorable ar-15 nut


That and her wannabe rich friends who drove luxury cars but were in debt to their eyeballs.

Hmmm... where have I heard that before?

Oh, yeah... I keep saying that about my wife. ;-)

What happened yesterday, or a year ago, or 15 years ago, is history. Cant be changed.

If it resulted in damage, say to your marriage, it may be able to be repaired. But what happened yesterday happened and can't be changed.

Wake up tomorrow and make up a new plan... if it is keeping your marriage alive, so be it. If it is moving on without your wife, so be with it.

If the plan includes sulking about what happened yesterday, you are wasting your time and not going to move forward.
 Quoting: Carnac


Good stuff.

But man, I spent the better part of the marriage forgiving and forgetting and I wonder if it led to a lot of this.

Me just letting stuff go. Not making her accountable you know?

At the same time, if I just got over her most recent bullshit act of flirting with that guy in front of me, maybe we could move forward.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71473722


Stop going out in public together with her then. There's no good reaction to the situation she put you in there. But you can just avoid it this way.

I must say my wife never did that, as bad as things were.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
First of all, huge congratulations. You have reproduced big-time with five healthy boys. You have won the genetic game. The rest is gravy, but here's how to play it.

I would go sort of passive on the subject of divorce, your relationship, or whatever fight she is picking at the moment. If she wants a divorce, let her file. Show in word and deed that you want to be with the kids.

DON'T lash out and say you're going to get new pussy. If you say that and the kids hear it, there goes your chances at custody. You want custody and with her paying. You can get it, or at least joint custody, but you have to fight sneakier and colder than a woman.

Lawyer up. Go see a lawyer today if possible, interview several. Be prepared to spend for this. In fact get interviews with all the decent divorce lawyers in town. This will freeze her out -- if she hasn't already lawyered up.

Get rid of all your kind feelings for her. She is a typical female doing typical things. I have been about where you are, my wife was every so often saying she wanted a divorce. She treated me like dirt and got my younger son to do the same thing.

A good idea is to stop taking care of her. Don't do all those little things. Remember you have to go cold on her. She has to feel what she's missing. If she isn't already seeing someone else, and maybe if it is, she'll really feel it.

What is happening to you is typical. Once the kids are past a vulnerable stage, women normally lose the attraction to their husbands. Your being around and doting on them is seen as weak. You are supposed to leave and go slay mammoths, and get other pussy, is what her biology is telling her.

Of course we don't have mammoths and you take huge legal risks by going for other pussy. Don't overreact, but quietly lawyer up. You may be advised to hire a private detective and if so, do it.

I am still married, but my feelings for my wife will never come back. In the process I've gone back to the pre-commitment state and am more or less waiting for the kids to be out, then I am as free as I want to be. I've detached her from my identity.

And predictably, now she's more attracted to me. (Of course that's how women work, when you don't need them, they want you.) But screw it, I am a different man now, not the one that committed to her.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 47678081


Over the past year, I detached her from my identify to stay sane. And even if we got back together, I just don't see how I could ever love her passionately like I once did.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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07/14/2017 02:40 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
I think you need to see a marriage therapist. Don't give up. Maybe she thinks she can get better than you, but women often find after a divorce that they can only get a lot less than they think. I will pray for you.
 Quoting: me 73050028


Thanks.
The Deplorable >LSDMTHC<

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07/14/2017 02:40 PM

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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
All i can say is i am seriously sorry man. That fucking blows. Keep your chin up, plenty of fish in the sea. One thing i hate is that most woman change who they are at the snap of a finger. This life is a real kick in the balls sometimes.
Jrdy787, Theyrecoming, LSDMTHC

Trump2016

Christian, Husband, Hard worker and a millenial. NO HAND OUTS!
Rufus Juice

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07/14/2017 02:41 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
very simple.

go to a bar - not your watering hole where your buddies hang out.

sit at the bar - tell your story to any and all single ladies who will listen - truthfully saying you do not want to get divorced - its crushing you

and you will be banging them like a screen door in the summertime.
"When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace" Jimi Hendrix
Anonymous Coward
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07/14/2017 02:41 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
It is unbiblical for the wife to divorce the husband. Get that bitch back in line. Biblically, you are the property of God, and she is your property.

Best start owning that shit.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 72586671


I did that with my wife (put her in her place) - I didn't beat or abuse her, I just refused to divorce her and said I would go to her parents and grandma with the evidence of her cheating. I told her she was in it for the long haul, until the kids were raised, then she could do as she pleases. JUST SAY NO!
Anonymous Coward
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07/14/2017 02:42 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
Never ever marry the first.
Never refer to other men as Chads. Just completely gay.
Anonymous Coward
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07/14/2017 02:43 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
Not all dating sites are scams. I've nailed a few from pof. Get on the dating site, talk to some women AND MAKE SURE SHE SEES YOU TALKING TO WOMEN. Go on and on about the hotties your going to fuck now that you are single ACT EXCITED AROUND HER about it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 46240406


I did the same a few years back off POF, even dated one for a year....although that was a huge mistake. Anyway, some dating sites are great for the single guy that isn't really serious about it. I cannot respect a female that I can lure into bed after 3 hours of drinking at a restaurant or bar...
They always would say that I am not on here for sex....bullshit!! I am talking to a chick now, and I let her know I enjoy the freedom of being a single male. I can literally do whatever I want!
Anonymous Coward
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07/14/2017 02:43 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
It is unbiblical for the wife to divorce the husband. Get that bitch back in line. Biblically, you are the property of God, and she is your property.

Best start owning that shit.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 72586671


I did that with my wife (put her in her place) - I didn't beat or abuse her, I just refused to divorce her and said I would go to her parents and grandma with the evidence of her cheating. I told her she was in it for the long haul, until the kids were raised, then she could do as she pleases. JUST SAY NO!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75160590


Sounds great if it worked. Did she quit cheating? or just get better at hiding it from you?
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07/14/2017 02:44 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
Its good that she divorces your little pathetic ass. I couldnt stand it when the 5 boys would become such a loser like their dad. It will be a good lesson to them and teach them to never submit to a womans will and be a little pathetic beta cuck. Enjoy your pain you deserve every minute of it.
Shamrock007

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07/14/2017 02:44 PM

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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
My question is, who the hell is going to want a 40-something person thats got five boys?

I think her friends convinced her that shell have the time of her life. I know she could get dates lined up easily if she wanted to.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71473722


If she got to this point she has most likely found someone else. Chicks at that age with kids don't make a move like this unless they are ready to implement a new plan.
Nefarious Libertine

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07/14/2017 02:45 PM

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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
Get a dog and go fishing.5a
 Quoting: the deplorable ar-15 nut


That and her wannabe rich friends who drove luxury cars but were in debt to their eyeballs.

Hmmm... where have I heard that before?

Oh, yeah... I keep saying that about my wife. ;-)

What happened yesterday, or a year ago, or 15 years ago, is history. Cant be changed.

If it resulted in damage, say to your marriage, it may be able to be repaired. But what happened yesterday happened and can't be changed.

Wake up tomorrow and make up a new plan... if it is keeping your marriage alive, so be it. If it is moving on without your wife, so be with it.

If the plan includes sulking about what happened yesterday, you are wasting your time and not going to move forward.
 Quoting: Carnac


Good stuff.

But man, I spent the better part of the marriage forgiving and forgetting and I wonder if it led to a lot of this.

Me just letting stuff go. Not making her accountable you know?

At the same time, if I just got over her most recent bullshit act of flirting with that guy in front of me, maybe we could move forward.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71473722


wtf
My manner of thinking, so you say, cannot be approved. Do you suppose I care? A poor fool indeed is he who adopts a manner of thinking of others!- Marquis De Sade


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