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I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips

 
NRVNAFAN

User ID: 74959151
United States
07/14/2017 06:23 PM

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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
How much money is it for 5 kids on child support?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75201500


Well, let's put it this way. He won't get a check, he will just get the check stub.
 Quoting: Doc_Holiday


rofl5
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 72169649


come on that isnt funny lol

Last Edited by NRVNAFAN on 07/14/2017 06:23 PM
IM JUST A FAN OF KURT COBAIN/NIRVANA
Anonymous Coward
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07/14/2017 06:26 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
You're right..I should have used this one.

suicide
NRVNAFAN

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07/14/2017 06:27 PM

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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
You're right..I should have used this one.

suicide
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 72169649


well at least the boys can get social security checks till 18 or out of school with that.

I like to see the positives in negative moments.

Last Edited by NRVNAFAN on 07/14/2017 06:29 PM
IM JUST A FAN OF KURT COBAIN/NIRVANA
Anonymous Coward
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07/14/2017 07:37 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
no man will have a real relationship with her because of the 5 kids.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 59607529


No kidding. She is delusional if she thinks she can find the "bigger, better deal" when she already has 5 kids. Unfortunately, boys especially will be very negatively affected by a mom's abandonment if she often leaves them alone while they know she is out whoring. And if he steps in to be the 'involved parent' she wants while she is out getting laid, he is just enabling her to become the giant whore her sons will grow to hate anyway.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75101320


The best favor he can do for those boys is to let them see their mother's behavior for what it is. I really recommend connecting it to narcissism.

They will learn the hard way (there's no easy way, but this is harder than most) about what women really are inside. That will "Fireproof" their attitude toward women once they process it a bit.

She will probably try to poison them against you, all the while saying she wants you to be an "involved parent" or whatever. And the kids' heads will be screwed up and they won't think much of their father. They'll see their father get dominated by a woman.

So it's time to give the kids the respect of being able to think, and stop giving your wife the respect of protecting her reputation by fuzzing things up. Let the kids see starkly what's going on. They'll figure it out anyway. They're never going to have the perfect childhood, she's ruined that already, so next best is for them to see things clearly.

Don't "jointly announce your divorce". Let her tell the kids if she wants, you can't stop her after all, and then explain calmly all the shit she's put you through for the past 10 years or whatever. She can't stop you from doing that either. No namecalling, just coldly explaining what you were doing and what she was doing.

The kids know it anyway. But it's buried in their subconscious where it can really hurt them. Bring it out and begin the process of dealing with it.
Anonymous Coward
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07/14/2017 07:40 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
Chad would even run from her , i promise.

Okay chad might do her in a one night stand at a motel 6 with a fake name.But he wouldnt date her.

You need to tell her the truth before she makes a huge mistake.

Unless you just dont want her anymore.
 Quoting: NRVNAFAN


Don't tell her anything. Anything you say is to the kids, but she's free to overhear and be there when you say it.

You're out of the business of protecting her. She needs to feel that deep in her bones, and she will know if it's BS or if it's real. Make it real.
Anonymous Coward
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07/14/2017 07:42 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
Tonight the wife wants us to tell the kids were divorcing.

And today I feel punched in the stomach and tempted to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails.

I dont know how Ill emotionally survive this.

Weve been married 15 years. Got kids.

All these years man, all I did was take care of her. But in arguments shed graphically tell me how much she thinks I suck. She expended more KINETIC ENERGY chewing me out than she did telling me she loved me.

And fuck, thats what I wanted, a true blue wife who loved me.

Facebook fucked everything up for us.

That and her wannabe rich friends who drove luxury cars but were in debt to their eyeballs.

This caused her to shift her perception of me from being her beloved husband to some faceless personality filling the role of husband expected to do breadwin, do most of the chores, pay the bills, and shuttle back to his backyard shed.

Making this worse is shes the only girlfriend/woman Ive ever had or been with.

We have five boys.

My question is, who the hell is going to want a 40-something person thats got five boys?

I think her friends convinced her that shell have the time of her life. I know she could get dates lined up easily if she wanted to.

For me, the thought of sitting home alone on Friday night watching my boys while shes on a date is like a knife being driven into the heart. How the fuck will I survive this?

I feel like I want to find a woman that I can experience true love with pronto.

Luckily for me, Im in shape, got some muscle, and get some female glances. But Im not a tall Chad and Im not outgoing like Chad, but Ive got wit.

Still, Im afraid of getting lost in love with another woman again. My wife years ago told me that no matter what shed never leave me or divorce me, that all she needed to be happy was me and the kids.

(Sad laugh. Takes swig of beer.)

So how the hell do I get over this?

I cant do the clubbing/bar scene to find a good woman. And I hear the dating sites are scams.

Any thoughts?

I want to voice my feelings of being disenfranchised like this and put that back at her that she promised shed never leave me. But that wouldnt be a good idea because were actually getting along much better now than we have for the past few months.

Aside from figuring out how to deal with my emotional Chernobyl, and the wasteland that is dating, should I get an apartment close by to the kids or have some distance?

(P.S. Dont mention money or legal stuff. We got that squared away.)

Thank you.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71473722



Sorry dude but if that is how your wife has been treating you, you should have left her a LONG TIME AGO

The situation you are in now is totally your fault for staying with a cunt like that and wasting years of your life

Suck it up and be done with her...move on. Lift weights, eat good, etc

If you are dumb enough to repeat the cycle by losing yourself in another dumb cunt and don't have the balls to be the alpha in the relationship...then you deserve to be a cuck for life

Be a MAN and take the reigns

Show your kids you still have balls by starting over fresh and be a great role mode
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 2356454


So ... being a MAN by leaving his kids? Nope. Not going to leave his kids, his house, what he's built in his life, and leave them to his ex.

Fight for all of it. But coldly, effectively. Be with the kids.
Astral Goat
From the deep space petting zoo...

User ID: 70975244
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07/14/2017 07:43 PM

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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
Well at least you have GLP!
You got no enemy, no front line
The only battles in the back of your mind
Anonymous Coward
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07/14/2017 07:47 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
Tonight the wife wants us to tell the kids were divorcing.

And today I feel punched in the stomach and tempted to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails.

I dont know how Ill emotionally survive this.

Weve been married 15 years. Got kids.

All these years man, all I did was take care of her. But in arguments shed graphically tell me how much she thinks I suck. She expended more KINETIC ENERGY chewing me out than she did telling me she loved me.

And fuck, thats what I wanted, a true blue wife who loved me.

Facebook fucked everything up for us.

That and her wannabe rich friends who drove luxury cars but were in debt to their eyeballs.

This caused her to shift her perception of me from being her beloved husband to some faceless personality filling the role of husband expected to do breadwin, do most of the chores, pay the bills, and shuttle back to his backyard shed.

Making this worse is shes the only girlfriend/woman Ive ever had or been with.

We have five boys.

My question is, who the hell is going to want a 40-something person thats got five boys?

I think her friends convinced her that shell have the time of her life. I know she could get dates lined up easily if she wanted to.

For me, the thought of sitting home alone on Friday night watching my boys while shes on a date is like a knife being driven into the heart. How the fuck will I survive this?

I feel like I want to find a woman that I can experience true love with pronto.

Luckily for me, Im in shape, got some muscle, and get some female glances. But Im not a tall Chad and Im not outgoing like Chad, but Ive got wit.

Still, Im afraid of getting lost in love with another woman again. My wife years ago told me that no matter what shed never leave me or divorce me, that all she needed to be happy was me and the kids.

(Sad laugh. Takes swig of beer.)

So how the hell do I get over this?

I cant do the clubbing/bar scene to find a good woman. And I hear the dating sites are scams.

Any thoughts?

I want to voice my feelings of being disenfranchised like this and put that back at her that she promised shed never leave me. But that wouldnt be a good idea because were actually getting along much better now than we have for the past few months.

Aside from figuring out how to deal with my emotional Chernobyl, and the wasteland that is dating, should I get an apartment close by to the kids or have some distance?

(P.S. Dont mention money or legal stuff. We got that squared away.)

Thank you.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71473722


OP in my younger days it would not have mattered if you had 5 boys.
They are a blessing! Right now your main goal is to help them get through this.

Stop worrying about finding someone else. Good grief!

Learn to live independently without a woman. Please. It's important for your sons to have you with them not have you chasing women or bringing other women into their lives just yet.

 Quoting: Sassy Granny


Stop dwelling on her and who she's with. She's emotionally not been with you in a long time. Wake up.

You need to man up for your sons. There are good women out there who would love a good man like you but you are not ready yet.

Take the boys fishing, camping, bowling- get to know them better!

During this time- it is important for them to know you are there for them no matter what.

Hint- Don't be surprised to find out she's already seeing someone else or has someone waiting in the wings.

She has been unhappy for a long time and angry. She has blamed you for it but I suspect she's more unhappy with herself. She started resenting you and blaming you for all the things she thinks is wrong with her life. She's in for a surprise.

Use this as a learning opportunity - You know what you don't want in the next relationship and warning signs.

It would be wonderful if you could take the boys to counseling and wouldn't hurt you to have a session or two.

Just remember this. Your most important role now is DAD! Be the best Dad you can be. Please for Heavens sake do not bring other women around the kids until you're in a serious relationship. This is so traumatic for them.

You are NOT a failure! You WILL get through this and will be a better person in the end!

 Quoting: Sassy Granny


Great advice here.
Anonymous Coward
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07/14/2017 08:41 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
Don't "jointly announce your divorce". Let her tell the kids if she wants, you can't stop her after all, and then explain calmly all the shit she's put you through for the past 10 years or whatever. She can't stop you from doing that either. No namecalling, just coldly explaining what you were doing and what she was doing.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 47678081


That's super advice. She wants you to jointly announce so it won't seem like it's all her fault. After she tells the boys, tell them you don't want a divorce. Might as well, like someone said, let them see her for what she is right out of the gate. Unless you are beating her or cheating on her, there is no excuse for what she is doing.
Anonymous Coward
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07/14/2017 08:45 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
Well at least you have GLP!
 Quoting: Astral Goat


LOL Nominated for comment of the year.
Anonymous Coward
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07/15/2017 03:33 AM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
OP, I am kinda in the same situation and have been for sometime now.

I don't have the answers but I can tell you what NOT to do.
#1, Don't do anything at the moment. Especially something stupid like you getting involved with another woman. If you do...guess what, you will be come the bad guy, she will get you for Adultery and take the kids.

Time is on your side OP and understand at this point if she is walking you can't keep her from doing so. However, even if she walks its not necessarily over as Divorce can take time. If you have proof of adultery such as photos from a P.I. that may be a different story or at least in my state but people sometimes recover from this crap and sometimes not.

Its normal to have the thoughts about who will want a 40 year old.. Im 50!
Try not to think about that now. You will need to find yourself and this crap takes lots of time.

Just be cool right now and let it play out. Things could work out for you guys or she may hang herself given enough rope but you do need legal advice NOW. If you DO hope to keep her I suggest search the net for Divorce Busting...May or may not help your situation but may be an option.

My#1 advice is hope for the best but prepare for the worst. You may need proof if she creeping. If she knows you are on to her you may never get that proof you need so be cool, ask nothing and say nothing. You are at war right now, she is not your friend etc.

#2 BE COOL right now as hard as it may be. Lots of advice on the net about what to do and not to do in this situation. Educate yourself, be cool and be carful OP.

#3. If she is running around and still in the house Its not IF but when the Police will be called. You will need video proof you did not hit her and you will get mad enough to do just that. From this point on know the recording laws in your state but I suggest recording every time you are in the same room with her. It can get crazy.

Put your faith in God as he will see you through no matter what.

God Bless Op.
CAstro hik
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07/15/2017 11:09 AM

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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
Get a place close ((walking distance) but not viewing distance would be my suggestion
Anonymous Coward
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07/17/2017 11:59 AM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
bump
Anonymous Coward
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07/17/2017 12:01 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
i can give legal consulence
about patrimony and any other legal problem

but you have to stay calm
1st
Anonymous Coward
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07/17/2017 12:12 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
You won't have to worry about the kids, she will get them.

Maybe now you see what the rest of us have been talking about.

You are only 40, get on some testosterone boozing supplements and get yourself a smoking hot 30 year old fuck buddy and a Facebook account.
Post romantic date pics, take her parasailing in Cancun.
Tell your kids you would love to take them on trips too, but their mother won't allow it.
Seize your power back and don't be a pussy.
Watch American Beauty until you get it.

You are free, spread your wings and fly.

NEVER say a kind word to her again, treat her like she killed your dog and ate it. Answer her calls with "what the fuck do you want now you skivvy whore?" Or "what's up your ass today, cunt?"

No fucking quarter.

Read Nietzsche.
Anonymous Coward
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07/17/2017 01:24 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
bump
Anonymous Coward
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07/17/2017 01:24 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
bump
Anonymous Coward
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07/17/2017 01:28 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
Ok, so we told everyone that we're splitting up.

But then something odd happened after that.

She started treating me differently.

She gave me flirty eyes and playful banter.

I'm like "What!?"

That's my old wife whom I miss.

She wants to consider counseling, but we've been that route and it made things worse. I don't want to sit in some office saying and hearing hurtful things, only to drive home with that person and having to deal with the fallout of what was said in that meeting.

Plus my view is that those sessions are a temporary band-aid. Maybe good for a few months. You can't change a person'a personality. She's not bad, I'm not bad. But she simply argues differently than I do.

But now, I'm supposed to move out in two weeks due to that. And since she's been giving me flierty looks and actually acting nicer to me, it's kind of melting my heart.

I do love her. But I fear that living with her long term could end up costing me my health as I'm so damn sensitive and just can't deal with someone saying cruel things in an argument.

So what the heck should I do now?
Anonymous Coward
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07/17/2017 01:29 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
Adam you sick pig fucker, no I didn't post in this thread either.. Im banned on my ip, using dads briefly cause I know your reading this lol
Anonymous Coward
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07/17/2017 02:07 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
You won't have to worry about the kids, she will get them.

Maybe now you see what the rest of us have been talking about.

You are only 40, get on some testosterone boozing supplements and get yourself a smoking hot 30 year old fuck buddy and a Facebook account.
Post romantic date pics, take her parasailing in Cancun.
Tell your kids you would love to take them on trips too, but their mother won't allow it.
Seize your power back and don't be a pussy.
Watch American Beauty until you get it.

You are free, spread your wings and fly.

NEVER say a kind word to her again, treat her like she killed your dog and ate it. Answer her calls with "what the fuck do you want now you skivvy whore?" Or "what's up your ass today, cunt?"

No fucking quarter.

Read Nietzsche.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71103511


lol.
Anonymous Coward
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07/17/2017 02:42 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
Ok, so we told everyone that we're splitting up.

But then something odd happened after that.

She started treating me differently.

She gave me flirty eyes and playful banter.

I'm like "What!?"

That's my old wife whom I miss.

She wants to consider counseling, but we've been that route and it made things worse. I don't want to sit in some office saying and hearing hurtful things, only to drive home with that person and having to deal with the fallout of what was said in that meeting.

Plus my view is that those sessions are a temporary band-aid. Maybe good for a few months. You can't change a person'a personality. She's not bad, I'm not bad. But she simply argues differently than I do.

But now, I'm supposed to move out in two weeks due to that. And since she's been giving me flierty looks and actually acting nicer to me, it's kind of melting my heart.

I do love her. But I fear that living with her long term could end up costing me my health as I'm so damn sensitive and just can't deal with someone saying cruel things in an argument.

So what the heck should I do now?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 63102095


Why would you move out? She is the one with the problem, so, she should move out. Don't abandon your house or children. She's being nice to disarm you. Do not trust her. Treat her like an acquaintance you can't trust. Be polite and civil at all times. Live your life and believe nothing from her about anything.
Anonymous Coward
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07/17/2017 02:46 PM
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Re: I need DUDE HELP -- Wife is Divorcing Me -- About to binge listen to Nine Inch Nails, while Chad likes his lips
If you really want to torture yourself, you should binge listen Nickelback
 Quoting: M*walk


rofl5


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