I understand completely OP. I am on my own too. I had friends, different groups through the years. I always had cash, weed and a ride so that helped in the teens too. Then I moved far away. I began learning the truth about this 'place'. The people I met in real life found me strange (I am empath and can feel and sort of 'hear' thoughts at times, not at will- yet I guess). My life choices based on what I know are too hard for them so they shun it, vis a vie- me.

Like for instance, people drink aspartame and that's a poison. Well, no one wants to know. They think I am the bad guy since i am the messenger, yk? So I keep my mouth shut. I tried for many years to find at least one friend since moving out here 13 years ago.

I am female but think like a male in many ways. A therapist long ago told me if I could only read what you said, without gender references I would think you are a man lol... but i am very feminine in looks... anyway- women can't stand me mostly and men generally want to have sex with me.

My husband was supposed to be that best friend. I showed him the movie they live on one of our first eves together. I thought he understood, he said he did... anyway 3 years later and i realize he does not want to know the truth unless it is in his face and he must do something in the now about it. Like he doesn't want to follow all my (troop movements, pedo gate, yellowstone, flat earth, nibiru, time travel, tesla) watching, but if its erupting he would spring into action.
that still leaves me with no one to talk to IRL. I had to move to a different room since he still watches tv and I choose truth instead of the signal. If I bring about the quantum effect he can't stand it- he sees it but it baffles him too much...

Its tough I agree. Especially for me, a high IQ leo. I used to have whole gangs of people staying at my house, partying, back in the day. Playing guitar...

anyway he is too jealous and I get along with men, so no friends for me unless I happen to meet a perfect woman lol... I did make a list that brought him to me, maybe i should make a list of what is good in a female friend.

I have non family social interactions in brief, online and at the checkout stand. I am a hermit. mostly due to the empath part. Crowds or away from my house is less pleasant than at my house lol. my family I grew up with is very far away I have seen them once in the last 10 years for a day.

So we in this thread, let's keep each other company as best we can.