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When life is redacted

 
TlvmmCpoft
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User ID: 74830845
Malta
07/16/2017 10:02 PM

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When life is redacted
The fully redacted need not respond (in fact I'd highly recommend not responding in that case).

I grew up around secrets: big, small, global, national, local, personal, etc. I was at a crossroad where all of the bigwigs met (well, certain ones of high interest, anyway) and a lot of really unfortunate things occurred with intention. It was a snake's nest. It wasn't my choice to be there, but there I was living life, breaking bread, and getting bitten with the rest.

At first, life was only about keeping two lives separate, between those who knew and those who knew TV. That was hard enough. I would be midway through a conversation and accidentally bring up a perspective or experience from "the other side of the tracks." Then I'd have to back peddle and usually end up making an ass of myself. Those were the early days. I always felt like half a person. Like there was really no one I could share both halves of me with. Like I wasn't allowed to be complete, have complete thoughts, or share my experiences freely.

I still struggle with it, especially out in the greater world where the TV-only side is meant to be applied at all times. I have so much more to share than that, so many experiences, so much life, but stepping over that line is...eh...unfortunate, uncomfortable, pointless.

So, what's the solution to living a full life when half of life has essentially been "classified." If there even is a way to mend it.

Thanks for listening to my random diatribe. I figured if anyone has a been-there-done-that kind of thing when it comes to self-censoring, they'd be on GLP. bookcensoredghost
TlvmmCpoft
TlvmmCpoft (OP)

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07/17/2017 05:55 AM

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Re: When life is redacted
chuckle

This got 33 views before dying.
TlvmmCpoft
Anonymous Coward
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07/17/2017 05:57 AM
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Re: When life is redacted
Push reset in your brain
TlvmmCpoft (OP)

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07/17/2017 06:14 AM

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Re: When life is redacted
Push reset in your brain
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75240183


Error.
That button is broken.
TlvmmCpoft
hankie

User ID: 74874587
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07/17/2017 06:35 AM

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Re: When life is redacted
Your life could be more interesting than what they put out, so, why would they let opportunity go, that my take on it. Everyone comes from somewhere, bad side of town or shall I say the poorer places, I get it. Here what I say, it made me who I am, so shove it. No, I was raise different, no one should hide where they come from nothing wrong with growing up strong.

I was raise in the foot hills, back in the wood sort off, a hill that was almost 90 degree slant on it, really steep or maybe it just seemed that steep, it is somewhere close on one side, not so much on the other. They cut the hill down now as they changed every little thing that was there when I was young, but the memories do not. So, poor maybe, we owned the house we lived in, daddy built it, we live in it, we lived worked hard and lived, that house had more renovations than you could shake a stick at, have a door in the back of the house in the morning by even it was changed, Dad could not make his mind up so he just kept changing it. Build a room tear it off, put back different, but it was fun. Painted the house red and blue and white, and my cousin where were not to swift on the uptake, told us where to paint the stripe, we were joke about painting the it like the US flag, but that life, can't not change the memories and guess what, I would never want to lose those memories, there were some very different types of memories that you just can not forget, they were funny I talking rolling on the floor laughing kind of funny just to remember.

That why life is like a box of chocolates you never know what you gonna get. No kidding do not hide from memories good or bad, you ever thought if your hiding yours, who else is.
Sorry I got a headache

These are the times that tries men's and
women's souls!

May we come though it victorious!
TlvmmCpoft (OP)

User ID: 74830845
Malta
07/17/2017 08:57 AM

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Re: When life is redacted
hf

Thanks, Hankie.

I think my two biggest hurdles I've had to face before I can speak freely are:

1. A lot of it will sound grandiose to those from the "lower ranks" who weren't there....so, the majority of the populace. It's not grandiose, It's life experiences from an exceptional (and somewhat unfortunate) location and station, essentially.

2. Parts do sound classified. They might be. No one told me, but classifications don't normally hit until afterward when (and if) things are on paper, not when they're a moment in real time. Sometimes people are reasonably afraid of information that could get the jailed or worse.

So, it comes down to my not wanting every simple conversation to become some uncomfortable mess.
TlvmmCpoft


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