Fell in love with an escort, and I'm married w/ kids -- Help!

Do I stay with and for my family, or do I go for love?

Being a grown up isn't easy.
Your kids will hate you for the rest of your life if you fuck up their life.

OP here. Some good replies, thanks. Also a lot of misconceptions. I might need to clarify/elaborate on some things. Later today / tonight I'll have time. Thanks everyone who is genuinely trying to help and not just calling me scum (which I am but already know).

Hi op

I had a limerent episode too, I promise you its not easy.

Try looking at this site [link to www.limerence.net]

Read some of the accounts and take your time. You will find support there if you post on the forums. I doubt godlike will help you much - its almost impossible for people that never experience limerence to understand.

Hi op

I had a limerent episode too, I promise you its not easy.

Try looking at this site [link to www.limerence.net]

Read some of the accounts and take your time. You will find support there if you post on the forums. I doubt godlike will help you much - its almost impossible for people that never experience limerence to understand.

Contrary to what the thread title might indicate, this is no troll thread. Thought a trollish title might get more views, since it seems like that stuff gets all the attention on here these days.

And yeah this is long, but even if nobody reads it, it's helping me to write it.

Anyway, I started seeking out the escort type of thing for what apparently are the usual reasons. Lack of sex, love, attention at home as the wife's efforts seem entirely focused on the young kids. And now some of you will be like, just give her your love and put the family first, wife will come around to appreciate you even more, and you'll see an even deeper love develop. Suffice to say, tried this for a couple years and no dice. Kids kids kids. Yadda yadda. So I went looking for something. Not love certainly, just sex. A release.

Now the problem. Found this girl quite by accident. Last minute replacement for another chick I'd recently seen. "Car trouble, can't make it, see my friend instead, you'll like her." Classic brush-off probably, but whatever. That day, I was a little bit high, as was my custom, and so was she, though on what I could only guess. So I kind of passed off the little bit of spark we had to the drugs, or maybe the sex. But it turns out there must have been something there from the very beginning.

This was about a year ago now. I saw her sometimes, sometimes other girls. Whatever. Anyone who's done it knows that no strings is the whole point. So I would see her occasionally. Then more often. Then I'd see her for like the entire day for the 1-hour rate. Sometimes a couple times a week. This chick is bangin, so I thought it was a little weird she'd be passing up the opportunity to be getting other guys in, off, and out, making up to 2 grand A DAY, just to hang out with me. But I was still paying her, so I thought maybe she literally didn't have anything better to do, and I am not gross, so why not chill with me for days at a time. She's still getting something out of it, even if it's not as much money as she could have been making with quick turnover.

Sometime along the way I got tired of the scene, quit seeing other escorts. But still saw her. Sometimes no sex, and no pay. Just talking, touching, laying in bed together for hours or we'd get high together. Then other times, crazy amazing sex. Either she's great at faking, or we were really good together. Both probably. Can you fake gushing? Anyway, ramped up frequency last couple months. Not paying anything anymore. And we have just recently finally told each other the truth about ourselves. I held out for a year, stupid stories that she never believed, but she knew not to push.

I'd been getting attached for a while, though, probably since I stopped seeing other escorts. It's fine, I was cool with things as they were. Her a pro, me a sucker she's been masterfully stringing along. Even some kind of attachment to her that wasn't reciprocated was better than I had at home for some reason. But then 2 weeks ago she broke down to me, told me she has feelings for me, she loves me, crying because she knew once she told me that, I would be gone. I'd freak out, run, whatever. But no. The next day I felt compelled to tell her my truth. Married, 2 young kids. I also had to break to her that we had just moved 2-3 hours drive away. (The move was put in motion before she ever showed any inkling of feelings for me, and so I thought, oh no big deal, I'll have to find another escort, lol).

We had a great couple days after that, wife and kids already having moved to the new house, me ostensibly taking care of some stuff, getting the old house ready to sell. True love type stuff when we were together. Can't explain. Tearful goodbyes for both of us, then I'd find a way to eek out another hour, then another crying, hugging goodbye. That happened a few times, as it turned out. I just couldn't let her go. Been in contact with her by phone/text for the last few days. It hurts. For both.


TLDR: I'm married, 2 young kids, fell in love with escort, she loves me back.


I need advice on what to do now. Wife is not stupid, knows things have changed between us the past few months. Might even think there is someone else. Don't want to hurt her, though the ship's probably sailed there. But the kids. Divorce? Really? They are so happy. It would devastate them, scar them for life, right? Anyone with any experience there? I have none. Should I have to be unhappy for another 10-15 years just so they can have a 'normal' childhood?

If anyone is interested in details or some clarifications, I'll stick around to maybe answer questions if I'm getting any helpful responses.

Best,

Stupid Cheating Asshole

Suggest to the escort that you stopping paying the escort, because it is now true love.

Suggest to the escort that you stopping paying the escort, because it is now true love.

FIFY


TLDR: I'm was married, 2 young kids ( who will hate me forever), fell in love with HOOKER, Worlds biggest sucker.

Every One Deserves Love

Interesting. Thanks for that. Especially of note: "At peak crystallization, almost all waking thoughts revolve around the limerent object. After this peak, the feelings eventually decline." How long does that take? Perhaps I will find out..

You say "limerance that's all"... like it is insignificant, not worthy of making life decisions over? Is that how you mean it? To me it seems like a really great feeling. The kind of shit we were put on this earth to experience. Why is it automatically less meaningful than family

The escort, if she is playing me, she's earned it, her performance is incredible. I would never believe someone could act that well. Not the sex. The crying, romancy things. Also I have not been a source of money for her now for a while. That said, I am only 98% sure she actually loves me back. Might be that 2% that I am not sure that will keep me in my marriage...

How old are your children?

there is an adult way to recover.
take responsibility for his decisions to marry and have kids and commit to a long happy life with those people. life is full of obstacles, we have freedom of choice.

too many men can't see long term anymore, like evolution, I agree oxygen waster, natural selection. people mindlessly breeding.

You said 'til death do us part, if you are married. There are NO excuses for your behavior...blaming the spouse is so passé.