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50 MIstakes WOMEN make when having sex with a MAN!

 
Richard Strong
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04/04/2007 09:04 AM
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50 MIstakes WOMEN make when having sex with a MAN!
1. Assuming he can get a raging hard on when it suits you. Contrary to popular belief, men canít just flip a switch and get it up because you decided to stop being a frigid bitch. Getting it hard is your job. I suggest you figure it out.

2. Thinking that kissing needs to be this sweet romantic thing all the time. Sometimes pressing your lips against your partners mouth while you get off is the hot. It depends on the situation.

3. Leaving him responsible for your orgasm. You know what gets you off. Tell him. If you donít, itís your own fault when heís snoozing and youíre all wound up.

4. Expecting him to cuddle. Men and women are wired differently. Sex makes most women want to talk and bond and all that shit. It makes men pass out. Itís a biological thing. Stop fighting it, and stop holding it over his head, itís not his fault.

5. Expecting him to fall asleep with you in his arms. That shit is uncomfortable after awhile. A little snuggling isnít unreasonable, but when itís time to actually sleep? An arm draped over you should suffice.

6. Expecting him to always lay on the charm and romance. Sometimes, thatís nice. Sometimes. But expecting him to be all roses and candles all the time is like expecting you to act like a pornstar all the time. If youíre not willing to do that, donít expect him to switch for you.

7. Being selfish in bed. Regardless of the shit that Cosmo forces down our throats, sex is NOT just about us. Get over it.

8. Using Cosmo as a sex bible. I dont know who comes up with half that shit, but Iím pretty sure they need counseling.

9. Whining when he pushes your head down on his cock instead of stroking your hair. Know why heís pushing, skippy? Because you arenít doing it right, and have apparently ignored the other clues heís given you. Pay attention to the signals that heís sending you.

10. Not moving at all. Missionary is not an excuse to do nothing.

11. Expecting him to undress himself with any amount of grace. Heís about to get some pussy. Be glad he bothered to take his pants all the way off. If it concerns you so much, undress him yourself.

12. Not shaving your legs. Im pretty bad at this myself. But if you want your guy stubble free, you better get out the razor.

13. Allowing your crotch to resemble the amazon. Yes, waxing hurts. Yes, some people donít want to go bare. Thats fine. If you like bush, great. If you have sensitive skin and canít shave, I feel for you. But for the love of Christ, trim that shit if you want him to spend any time down there.

14. Assuming that sex means a relationship. The only relationship you have is that he has now stuck his hoo hoo dilly in your cha cha. Thatís as far as it goes unless otherwise noted.

15. Withholding oral sex just because youíre ragging. He didnít do it. Unless you want him to withhold oral sex because heís hormonal, I suggest you get some kneepads.

16. Expecting him to figure out what you like by what noise you make. Use your words. Have you ever actually heard what you sound like while youíre having sex? If you heard yourself on tape, and someone asked you to explain what was causing you to make that noise, 67% of women would respond with answers like ďI stubbed my toeĒ ďI ran up the stepsĒ or ďI was putting up drywallĒ.

17. Leaving condoms up to him. If youíre sexually active and insist that he uses a condom, I suggest buying a box and keeping it by your bed. Not all men keep them on them, and itís just as much your responsibility as it is his. If you think that makes you a slut, you shouldnít be having sex anyway. Go back to Jr High.

18. Getting your undies in a bunch when he talks dirty. A little fantasy can be fun. If he treats you with respect all the time, you shouldnít be offended when he calls you his dirty little slut. When he calls you a whore and tells you to come, its his way of showing that he cares if you get off. Stop being a sissy.

19. Refusing to be spontaneous. I know this is shocking, but sometimes sex OUTSIDE of the bedroom is fun.

20. Dissing quickies because itís not some slow sensual ordeal. Sex is a dynamic thing. Theres an awesome raw energy when you only have 20 minutes but having to have someone so bad that you do it half clothed against the wall. Readjust your thinking.

21. Being too much of a pussy to tell him what is or isnít acceptable before you start bumping uglies. Be honest. If he asks if he can poke you in the butt, and you giggle and say no like itís an invitation, donít look surprised when he ďaccidentallyĒ sticks his cock in your butt.

22. Expecting him to undress you. I put a bra on almost every day. I know for a fact that getting them off isnít always easy. Help a brother out. see link
That is all.
[link to peety-passion.com]

Last Edited by Desert Fox on 05/24/2013 01:08 AM
I am Richardus Strongus. Father to a murdered 'Refreshtard' thread, Husband to a deleted Top 10 thread. I will have my vengeance on the Lightworkers ..in this life or the next.
Shadow

User ID: 218478
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04/04/2007 09:06 AM
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Re: 50 MIstakes WOMEN make when having sex with a MAN!
Don't like women much do you?
Over the side and damn the barracuda
Richard Strong (OP)

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04/04/2007 09:10 AM
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Re: 50 MIstakes WOMEN make when having sex with a MAN!
Love women...just playing devils advocate. Someone has to keep this place balanced. hf
I am Richardus Strongus. Father to a murdered 'Refreshtard' thread, Husband to a deleted Top 10 thread. I will have my vengeance on the Lightworkers ..in this life or the next.
mushromedhammereddick​..
User ID: 218496
Puerto Rico
04/04/2007 09:11 AM
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Re: 50 MIstakes WOMEN make when having sex with a MAN!
Asking him to give you anal sex wile you are constipated!

GET an ENEMA BITCH!

:shistream:
Shadow

User ID: 218478
Canada
04/04/2007 09:17 AM
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Re: 50 MIstakes WOMEN make when having sex with a MAN!
I shoulda known another do
Over the side and damn the barracuda
Anonymous Coward
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04/04/2007 09:31 AM
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Re: 50 MIstakes WOMEN make when having sex with a MAN!
Yeah, women need to be honest and just admit that the majority of men are miserable failures and absolutely shitty clueless when it comes to doing sex right. Gives new meaning to the phrase "fucking useless".
Darth Marduk
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Croatia
04/04/2007 09:47 AM
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Re: 50 MIstakes WOMEN make when having sex with a MAN!
hehe, excellent post... thanks!

hf
Dr_Kynes
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04/04/2007 10:03 AM
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Re: 50 MIstakes WOMEN make when having sex with a MAN!
Good points I'll have to remember if I ever get married....not going to have sex with a woman till I do get married.

Basic common sense but each sex has their own priorities....communication is vital...and a bit of instruction from the other side is always helpful too.

I'll probably never be a great 'lover'......just have no experience......but hopefully with a bit of practice my future wife and I will have good sex often (not just once in a blue moon,when we decide to have kids, or when my nutsack is the size of a grapefruit)
Anonymous Coward
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04/04/2007 10:18 AM
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Re: 50 MIstakes WOMEN make when having sex with a MAN!
Yeah, women need to be honest and just admit that the majority of men are miserable failures and absolutely shitty clueless when it comes to doing sex right. Gives new meaning to the phrase "fucking useless".
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 218691

actually, men need to be honest and just admit that the majority of women are miserable failures and absolutely shitty clueless when it comes to doing sex right...
Anonymous Coward
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United States
04/04/2007 10:20 AM
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Re: 50 MIstakes WOMEN make when having sex with a MAN!
Don't like women much do you?
 Quoting: Shadow
Don't like men much do you???
Anonymous Coward
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04/04/2007 10:20 AM
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Re: 50 MIstakes WOMEN make when having sex with a MAN!
I am so grateful that I don't hold my sex life - and pleasing a man - high on my list of life's most important priorities.
Shadow

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04/04/2007 10:34 AM
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Re: 50 MIstakes WOMEN make when having sex with a MAN!
Don't like women much do you?


Don't like men much do you???
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 6863


Now why do you say that? I adore men. One in particular, but as whole I think a good man keeps a woman sane. Mutual respect is the not so big secret.
Over the side and damn the barracuda
RETIRED GIGOLO
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04/04/2007 10:56 AM
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Re: 50 MIstakes WOMEN make when having sex with a MAN!
MISTAKE # 51

A MANS PENIS IS NOT A BROOMSTICK , MOP HANDLE, OR A HANDRAIL AND SHOULD NOT BE HANDLED AS SUCH !

Get a clue ladies you get what you give!
Anonymous Coward
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04/04/2007 12:48 PM
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Re: 50 MIstakes WOMEN make when having sex with a MAN!
Anybody ever heard of honest communication? The last I heard, men and women were not machines and while there are similarities amongst males and amongst females, all are unique. Try digging deep if you want a great relationship.
JC
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04/04/2007 01:39 PM
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Re: 50 MIstakes WOMEN make when having sex with a MAN!
"I am so grateful that I don't hold my sex life - and pleasing a man - high on my list of life's most important priorities."


Wow, that's what I was thinking too.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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04/04/2007 01:40 PM
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Re: 50 MIstakes WOMEN make when having sex with a MAN!
"32. Ignoring his balls. Seriously, they are there. Kiss them, lick them, suck on them, make a relationship with them, just donít ignore them."


bump for women ignoring our balls!
SpectrumBlue

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04/04/2007 01:44 PM
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Re: 50 MIstakes WOMEN make when having sex with a MAN!
I am so grateful that I don't hold my sex life - and pleasing a man - high on my list of life's most important priorities.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 78748


I like to please men. Seeing others happy makes me happy. ^.^
Dreams will begin as they fade into chaos.
Evil Twin

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04/04/2007 02:07 PM
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Re: 50 MIstakes WOMEN make when having sex with a MAN!
lol
anonymous coward
User ID: 220867
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04/09/2007 01:54 PM
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Re: 50 MIstakes WOMEN make when having sex with a MAN!
"I am so grateful that I don't hold my sex life - and pleasing a man - high on my list of life's most important priorities."


Wow, that's what I was thinking too.
 Quoting: JC 177506



I pity you two.
Anonymous Coward
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04/09/2007 02:20 PM
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Re: 50 MIstakes WOMEN make when having sex with a MAN!
Okay men, listen up!! Do not call your woman a whore while you're having sex, I don't care what this article states. Unless she's a porn star or really into role playing this will just sound retarded.


And, by the way, my 42 year old husband CAN get it up any time he (or I) wants it. I mean ANYTIME. I am soooo lucky.


And, yes, those balls are mighty fun to play with!!
Anonymous Coward
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04/09/2007 02:29 PM
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Re: 50 MIstakes WOMEN make when having sex with a MAN!
"I am so grateful that I don't hold my sex life - and pleasing a man - high on my list of life's most important priorities."


Wow, that's what I was thinking too.



I pity you two.
 Quoting: anonymous coward 220867


I pity their husbands. I predict a lonely future for them as their husbands find hotter women.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 220893
Greece
04/09/2007 02:41 PM
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Re: 50 MIstakes WOMEN make when having sex with a MAN!
OP, pretty goog indeed!

Targeting on you is expected from a woman though.

when something does not fit in a woman's agenta then she is attacking it.

As a matter of fact, after being with a lot of relationships in my life, married and being father of daughters, I agree with what is written there...

Ladies, the injustice that exists in our world is also expressed against you. But you, in your strugle to have a balance, you oppress your partner. That is a fact. Either you understand it or not.
Anonymous Coward
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Mexico
04/09/2007 03:19 PM
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Re: 50 MIstakes WOMEN make when having sex with a MAN!
I like it when a woman actually scratches or rubs where I say to scratch, and not where SHE THINKS I like it!!!

I said there! No there! Right there!!!!


Ah forget it...

Good nite.
Sir_Chancealot

User ID: 164485
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04/09/2007 08:58 PM
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Re: 50 MIstakes WOMEN make when having sex with a MAN!
Every woman should memorize that list.

Most women are lousy in bed.
Anonymous Coward
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04/09/2007 09:03 PM
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Re: 50 MIstakes WOMEN make when having sex with a MAN!
i thought number 1 would be:

1) forgetting to fake that you were all that and a bag of chips.
fyrestarre
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05/25/2007 02:19 AM
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Re: 50 MIstakes WOMEN make when having sex with a MAN!
Had to laugh. Probably the best post I've ever read... Thanks for the tips buddy. Keep IT up!!!
Anonymous Coward
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05/25/2007 03:04 AM
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Re: 50 MIstakes WOMEN make when having sex with a MAN!
wow, what a list.

glad you aren't my partner.
BeijingComm NCCCPC

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05/25/2007 03:23 AM
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Re: 50 MIstakes WOMEN make when having sex with a MAN!
6,237 views?!
Anonymous Coward
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Australia
05/25/2007 04:24 AM
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Re: 50 MIstakes WOMEN make when having sex with a MAN!
#52
Getting him in bed, all ready and hard and then leaving to go take a piss before starting. That is just cruel. Get it done before you even get him in the mood and make sure it's clean after you pee.
Some might be but I'm not into tasting piss and toilet paper when I go down there.
Anonymous Coward
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05/25/2007 05:16 AM
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Re: 50 MIstakes WOMEN make when having sex with a MAN!
51)Expecting to have sex with a smelly pussy bung hole.

hiding
Richard Strong (OP)

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United States
05/25/2007 10:14 AM
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Re: 50 MIstakes WOMEN make when having sex with a MAN!
Is that a rhetorical question? Of course I am!
I am Richardus Strongus. Father to a murdered 'Refreshtard' thread, Husband to a deleted Top 10 thread. I will have my vengeance on the Lightworkers ..in this life or the next.

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