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Virginia Boy Scouts Stumble on Cheney's Undisclosed Location

 
Pit Viper
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06/15/2007 02:58 PM
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Virginia Boy Scouts Stumble on Cheney's Undisclosed Location
By Ion Zwitter, Avant News Editor
Roanoke, Virginia, March 12, 2008

A Blue Ridge Mountains Boy Scout troop accidentally discovered Vice President Dick Cheney's "undisclosed location" last week, a press officer with Boy Scouts of America said. The troop, consisting of a Scoutmaster and 17 boys from the region who were planning to camp for the night in the heavily wooded area, reportedly found the undisclosed location while hunting for shelter during a sudden hailstorm.

"We were heading to a nice clearing near Brushy Mountain we've used before when the squall hit," Pete Pubert, Scoutmaster for the troop, said. "Motto or no motto, we weren't ready for hailstones the size of jawbreakers, so we quickly scanned the area for a cave, some heavy trees, anything that could provide shelter. That's when one of the boys noticed a big steel door built into the side of the mountain. Right next to a helipad, which you don't usually see in the Blue Ridge."

According to Mr. Pubert, he and the 17 boys in the troop, whose names are being withheld pending parental notification, worked together to pull open the door and hurried inside.

I don't know what we expected to find, but Dick Cheney shooting nine-ball in his boxer shorts sure as heck wasn't it," Mr. Pubert said.

Mr. Pubert described the vice president's official hideaway as "a really palatial, manly kind of place, with a lot of dead animals on the walls. High vaulted ceilings, tons of brass and oak. I think I counted about 900 quail heads. There was a big TV, lots of fancy-looking electronics stuff, an X-box. Pool table, foosball, two-lane bowling alley. Huge bar with really top-shelf liquor. Some voodoo dolls that looked like democratic senators. Top-of-the-line ICU. A lot of shiny latex stuff toward the back with what looked like maybe weight-lifting equipment, but it could have been something else. It was pretty dark in there."

Mr. Cheney, Mr. Pubert said, was "a little gruff at first, but then he sort of softened up and gave us all the Scout Salute and a quick tour of the place."

"He made me promise not to tell anybody where the undisclosed location is," Mr. Pubert said, "other than to say that it's about a half-hour chopper ride from the Mall. Then he took a shotgun and pushed me back out the door and slammed it shut."

The 17 members of the scout troop, Mr. Pubert said, are "in good health and are supposed to be released pretty soon."

"He said he'd just hold on to the boys until he felt sure I could keep my mouth shut about where the undisclosed location is. Also, there's some interrogation techniques he'd like to try out. I'm sure they'll be fine. He's got a good heart."

[link to www.avantnews.com]
Scor~Pios -AKA- Pit Viper

'When the people fear their government, there is tyranny;
When the government fears the people, there is liberty.'
Thomas Jefferson

Never underestimate the stupidity of the American people.

"It does not require a majority to prevail, but rather an irate, tireless minority keen to set brush fires in people's minds." - Samuel Adams
Anonymous Coward
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06/15/2007 03:02 PM
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Re: Virginia Boy Scouts Stumble on Cheney's Undisclosed Location
By Ion Zwitter, Avant News Editor
Roanoke, Virginia, March 12, 2008




Yeah, right.
Earth Daughter

User ID: 252351
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06/15/2007 03:02 PM

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Re: Virginia Boy Scouts Stumble on Cheney's Undisclosed Location
This is a joke right?

If not, God help those boys!
"Arrows of hate have been shot at me too, but they never hit me, because somehow they belonged to another world, with which I have no connection whatsoever." - Albert Einstein
Babe in a Bunker

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06/15/2007 03:12 PM
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Re: Virginia Boy Scouts Stumble on Cheney's Undisclosed Location
Are they going to get their "Water Boarding" badge after this? I would hate to think this was all for naught.
Well it seems so real I can see it
And it seems so real I can feel it
And it seems so real I can taste it
And it seems so real I can hear it
So why can't I touch it?
So why can't I touch it?


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DEJA VU
User ID: 32062
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06/15/2007 03:14 PM
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Re: Virginia Boy Scouts Stumble on Cheney's Undisclosed Location
Didja see the date? March 12, 2008? Aside from that, think this is old news.

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