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Considering cheating on my partner.

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 204901
United States
06/22/2007 10:10 AM
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Considering cheating on my partner.
We've been having issues for years and no amount of counseling changes the underlying issues. I need love and warmth and someone who is truly interested in me. Anybody here cheat on their spouse?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 4910
United States
06/22/2007 10:12 AM
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Re: Considering cheating on my partner.
We've been having issues for years and no amount of counseling changes the underlying issues. I need love and warmth and someone who is truly interested in me. Anybody here cheat on their spouse?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 204901


You are sick, immoral, and completely lacking in backbone. Grow a spine and have it out with your spouse.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 579
United Kingdom
06/22/2007 10:13 AM
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Re: Considering cheating on my partner.
so leave her then coward.

adulterers lick satans cocksnot in hell.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 155641
United States
06/22/2007 10:14 AM
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Re: Considering cheating on my partner.
Go for it....you don't need the internet's permission
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 189801
United States
06/22/2007 10:14 AM
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Re: Considering cheating on my partner.
OP,

Do the right thing and leave your partner first.

In the end, you'll be glad you did. If you stay with them and cheat, the consequence will stick with you for the rest of your life.

Peace.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 201927
United States
06/22/2007 10:16 AM
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Re: Considering cheating on my partner.
Why are you still with this person? I bet you are miserable. I bet you hate seeing this person. Then why suffer. Just end this relationship.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 148742
United States
06/22/2007 10:16 AM
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Re: Considering cheating on my partner.
Try to work it out. Scream, argue, fight if you have to. Try to make it work. Put your true, honest feelings out there and see if your partner cares about how you feel. If they don't, then what are you doing to yourself?

Be warned, leaving is hard. Cheating feels easier, but, eventually, you'll feel like shit about it. The guilt will haunt you for a while.
Dale Gribble

User ID: 244730
United States
06/22/2007 10:21 AM
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Re: Considering cheating on my partner.
Cheating is wrong! Leave her first, Set her free... Then go searching forr your love and warmth and someone who is truly interested you, good luck

No, I've never cheated on my spouce... I've never had a spouce... really don't want one...

Andy Griffith had an Aunt bee! She baked cookies and made homade pie... I want one of those instead...
The House of Sinanju

User ID: 255286
United States
06/22/2007 10:31 AM
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Re: Considering cheating on my partner.
Idiot.
"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." ---C.S. Lewis
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 215939
United States
06/22/2007 10:35 AM
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Re: Considering cheating on my partner.
"Partner"? One of those, are you?
LittleBird

User ID: 255722
United States
06/22/2007 10:51 AM
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Re: Considering cheating on my partner.
Please don't do it unless, of course,
what you really want is a divorce..
cuz once trust is gone, there's nothing left,
& you'll spend your days feeling bereft
of hope & honor; ask any ex
how much he/she lost cuz of extramarital sex.

Think they will say it wasn't worth the cost
cuz they didn't gain nearly as much as they lost.
Nope, once trust if gone, there's no gettin' it back,
so if you're plannin' on cheatin', best hit the road, Jack!



byekitty

Beam me up, Scotty! Beam me up soon!
Never mind, Scotty, cuz... "There is no spoon"
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 204901
United States
06/22/2007 10:51 AM
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Re: Considering cheating on my partner.
Try to work it out. Scream, argue, fight if you have to. Try to make it work. Put your true, honest feelings out there and see if your partner cares about how you feel. If they don't, then what are you doing to yourself?

Be warned, leaving is hard. Cheating feels easier, but, eventually, you'll feel like shit about it. The guilt will haunt you for a while.
 Quoting: markusmaximus


You're probably right. What you say I know in my gut is true. Thanks for telling me.
Peace.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 254843
Sweden
06/22/2007 10:52 AM
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Re: Considering cheating on my partner.
We've been having issues for years and no amount of counseling changes the underlying issues. I need love and warmth and someone who is truly interested in me. Anybody here cheat on their spouse?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 204901


Tell her what you need and if she cant provide, who can? You? ;)
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 250141
United States
06/22/2007 10:54 AM
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Re: Considering cheating on my partner.
WOW, GLPers...
You assume alot.
OP are you in a gay relationship? You are going way outta the way to not assign values to yours our your partners sexes.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 204901
United States
06/22/2007 10:55 AM
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Re: Considering cheating on my partner.
Please don't do it unless, of course,
what you really want is a divorce..
cuz once trust is gone, there's nothing left,
& you'll spend your days feeling bereft
of hope & honor; ask any ex
how much he/she lost cuz of extramarital sex.

Think they will say it wasn't worth the cost
cuz they didn't gain nearly as much as they lost.
Nope, once trust if gone, there's no gettin' it back,
so if you're plannin' on cheatin', best hit the road, Jack!


byekitty
 Quoting: LittleBird


The hard part is that she has cheated on me int he past, and while we have acted as if we have moved beyond it, I haven't. I don't trust her. And I never will. The truth is I have been the faithful one all this time. So my impulse has more to with revenge than having anyone I'm actually interested in cheating on her with.

I guess I keep coming to the point that I have two choices: suffer or leave. And I don't like either one.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 139684
Canada
06/22/2007 10:55 AM
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Re: Considering cheating on my partner.
We've been having issues for years and no amount of counseling changes the underlying issues. I need love and warmth and someone who is truly interested in me. Anybody here cheat on their spouse?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 204901

it's easy to be interested in someone you are not married to...
but, if you married the person you want to "cheat with"
you would have the same problem

so, have friends
let them build you up
but, leave the sex out of it
ok?
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 204901
United States
06/22/2007 10:57 AM
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Re: Considering cheating on my partner.
WOW, GLPers...
You assume alot.
OP are you in a gay relationship? You are going way outta the way to not assign values to yours our your partners sexes.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 250141


Does it matter? Anyone who needs to know the genders involved in the situation is someone whose advice I don't want.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 139684
Canada
06/22/2007 10:58 AM
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Re: Considering cheating on my partner.
do you have kids?
that's why you stayed when your spouse cheated?
you are free to move on
but, if their are kids involved
you need to take their lives into consideration
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 215939
United States
06/22/2007 11:01 AM
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Re: Considering cheating on my partner.
Don't waste your time thinking about cheating on your Lesbain sex-partner, get out of that sinful lifestyle.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 139684
Canada
06/22/2007 11:01 AM
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Re: Considering cheating on my partner.
i think we all know intuitively
that anything done out of revenge
is evil
if you can't find a postive reason to act
you know something is wrong
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 252201
United States
06/22/2007 11:02 AM
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Re: Considering cheating on my partner.
Man is only to be tied to another woman by manmade laws and such, it outright a big problem.

Its nothing more than a control issue
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 139684
Canada
06/22/2007 11:05 AM
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Re: Considering cheating on my partner.
God created marriage
if someone is only married because of man's law
then they are not really married
they just have a contract
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 103336
United States
06/22/2007 11:05 AM
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Re: Considering cheating on my partner.
OP,

Do the right thing and leave your partner first.

In the end, you'll be glad you did. If you stay with them and cheat, the consequence will stick with you for the rest of your life.

Peace.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 189801



This is what I did.
I'm not sure that I did the right thing.
But I'm happier now.
She's happier now.
and we're back to being friends.

What did I learn?
GO TO COUNSELING FIRST - Not for her - For you.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 204901
United States
06/22/2007 11:07 AM
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Re: Considering cheating on my partner.
Don't waste your time thinking about cheating on your Lesbain sex-partner, get out of that sinful lifestyle.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 215939

whip
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 204901
United States
06/22/2007 11:10 AM
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Re: Considering cheating on my partner.
OP,

Do the right thing and leave your partner first.

In the end, you'll be glad you did. If you stay with them and cheat, the consequence will stick with you for the rest of your life.

Peace.



This is what I did.
I'm not sure that I did the right thing.
But I'm happier now.
She's happier now.
and we're back to being friends.

What did I learn?
GO TO COUNSELING FIRST - Not for her - For you.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 103336


We are in counseling and have been fo a long time. But nothing eally changes. We're mor polite to each other-- fewer knock-out drang-down fights, which is supposed to be a sign of progress. So the fighting is less, but there is nothing in its place. No warmth or love or renewed connection. Coldness fills the gap. So then I think, I need to get the hell out of this coldness. I can't live like that. But it seems perfectly okay with her. She's an icicle and doesn't need any more than that. Dilemma. Dilemma.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 111964
Canada
06/22/2007 11:14 AM
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Re: Considering cheating on my partner.
sounds like fear of being hurt
the whole numbness thing
are there children in the family?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 234235
United States
06/22/2007 11:18 AM
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Re: Considering cheating on my partner.
bible thumpers and other numb skulls cannot handle the idea of their spouse having sex with some one else. but i would not do it unless you could handle the reverse. then of course why are you together in the first place? after this if you stay together what you will have is a partnership it can be a very strong one. Cheating =no; communication, taking responsibility for your desires and unconditional acceptance of your loved ones = yes hf
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 111964
Canada
06/22/2007 11:21 AM
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Re: Considering cheating on my partner.
no one's thumping the bible
why make a commitment if you don't plan to keep it?
anyway, this spouse already cheated
so, the person is free to live
i am only saying
sometimes forgiveness and reconciliation is the best thing for children involved
legalism is not the way to live
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 111442
Canada
06/22/2007 11:23 AM
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Re: Considering cheating on my partner.
there is a psychological principle
that the guilty party
will subconsciously hate the person they wronged
so, the cheating spouse will hate you and want to blame you for "why" they cheated
so, in order to get past this place
the cheating spouse has to take responsibility for their own unfaithfulness
and not make ANY excuses for it
if they are not ready to do that
maybe the marriage is over
and only exists in form
without the commitment needed to sustain a relationship
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 204901
United States
06/22/2007 11:25 AM
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Re: Considering cheating on my partner.
No kids. If there were kids I would stick it out. But not having any children doesn't seem to be making the decision any easier.

I'm thinking that I will give myself a time frame-- say three to six months to think through this. In the meantime I will try my best to be the type of partner I wish I had. If things don't improve then I'll make my move.

Thanks for all the advice and support. It does help.

hf
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 111442
Canada
06/22/2007 11:26 AM
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Re: Considering cheating on my partner.
you are free to leave
you don't have to stay with this person

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