Considering cheating on my partner. | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 4910 United States 06/22/2007 10:12 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | We've been having issues for years and no amount of counseling changes the underlying issues. I need love and warmth and someone who is truly interested in me. Anybody here cheat on their spouse? Quoting: Anonymous Coward 204901You are sick, immoral, and completely lacking in backbone. Grow a spine and have it out with your spouse. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 579 United Kingdom 06/22/2007 10:13 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 155641 United States 06/22/2007 10:14 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 189801 United States 06/22/2007 10:14 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 201927 United States 06/22/2007 10:16 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 148742 United States 06/22/2007 10:16 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Try to work it out. Scream, argue, fight if you have to. Try to make it work. Put your true, honest feelings out there and see if your partner cares about how you feel. If they don't, then what are you doing to yourself? Be warned, leaving is hard. Cheating feels easier, but, eventually, you'll feel like shit about it. The guilt will haunt you for a while. |
Dale Gribble User ID: 244730 United States 06/22/2007 10:21 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Cheating is wrong! Leave her first, Set her free... Then go searching forr your love and warmth and someone who is truly interested you, good luck No, I've never cheated on my spouce... I've never had a spouce... really don't want one... Andy Griffith had an Aunt bee! She baked cookies and made homade pie... I want one of those instead... |
The House of Sinanju User ID: 255286 United States 06/22/2007 10:31 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Idiot. "Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." ---C.S. Lewis |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 215939 United States 06/22/2007 10:35 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
LittleBird User ID: 255722 Switzerland 06/22/2007 10:51 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | what you really want is a divorce.. cuz once trust is gone, there's nothing left, & you'll spend your days feeling bereft of hope & honor; ask any ex how much he/she lost cuz of extramarital sex. Think they will say it wasn't worth the cost cuz they didn't gain nearly as much as they lost. Nope, once trust if gone, there's no gettin' it back, so if you're plannin' on cheatin', best hit the road, Jack! Beam me up, Scotty! Beam me up soon! Never mind, Scotty, cuz... "There is no spoon" |
Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 204901 United States 06/22/2007 10:51 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Try to work it out. Scream, argue, fight if you have to. Try to make it work. Put your true, honest feelings out there and see if your partner cares about how you feel. If they don't, then what are you doing to yourself? Quoting: markusmaximusBe warned, leaving is hard. Cheating feels easier, but, eventually, you'll feel like shit about it. The guilt will haunt you for a while. You're probably right. What you say I know in my gut is true. Thanks for telling me. Peace. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 254843 Sweden 06/22/2007 10:52 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | We've been having issues for years and no amount of counseling changes the underlying issues. I need love and warmth and someone who is truly interested in me. Anybody here cheat on their spouse? Quoting: Anonymous Coward 204901Tell her what you need and if she cant provide, who can? You? ;) |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 250141 United States 06/22/2007 10:54 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 204901 United States 06/22/2007 10:55 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Please don't do it unless, of course, Quoting: LittleBirdwhat you really want is a divorce.. cuz once trust is gone, there's nothing left, & you'll spend your days feeling bereft of hope & honor; ask any ex how much he/she lost cuz of extramarital sex. Think they will say it wasn't worth the cost cuz they didn't gain nearly as much as they lost. Nope, once trust if gone, there's no gettin' it back, so if you're plannin' on cheatin', best hit the road, Jack! The hard part is that she has cheated on me int he past, and while we have acted as if we have moved beyond it, I haven't. I don't trust her. And I never will. The truth is I have been the faithful one all this time. So my impulse has more to with revenge than having anyone I'm actually interested in cheating on her with. I guess I keep coming to the point that I have two choices: suffer or leave. And I don't like either one. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 139684 Canada 06/22/2007 10:55 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | We've been having issues for years and no amount of counseling changes the underlying issues. I need love and warmth and someone who is truly interested in me. Anybody here cheat on their spouse? Quoting: Anonymous Coward 204901it's easy to be interested in someone you are not married to... but, if you married the person you want to "cheat with" you would have the same problem so, have friends let them build you up but, leave the sex out of it ok? |
Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 204901 United States 06/22/2007 10:57 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | WOW, GLPers... Quoting: Anonymous Coward 250141You assume alot. OP are you in a gay relationship? You are going way outta the way to not assign values to yours our your partners sexes. Does it matter? Anyone who needs to know the genders involved in the situation is someone whose advice I don't want. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 139684 Canada 06/22/2007 10:58 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 215939 United States 06/22/2007 11:01 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 139684 Canada 06/22/2007 11:01 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 252201 United States 06/22/2007 11:02 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 139684 Canada 06/22/2007 11:05 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 103336 United States 06/22/2007 11:05 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | OP, Quoting: Anonymous Coward 189801Do the right thing and leave your partner first. In the end, you'll be glad you did. If you stay with them and cheat, the consequence will stick with you for the rest of your life. Peace. This is what I did. I'm not sure that I did the right thing. But I'm happier now. She's happier now. and we're back to being friends. What did I learn? GO TO COUNSELING FIRST - Not for her - For you. |
Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 204901 United States 06/22/2007 11:07 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 204901 United States 06/22/2007 11:10 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | OP, Quoting: Anonymous Coward 103336Do the right thing and leave your partner first. In the end, you'll be glad you did. If you stay with them and cheat, the consequence will stick with you for the rest of your life. Peace. This is what I did. I'm not sure that I did the right thing. But I'm happier now. She's happier now. and we're back to being friends. What did I learn? GO TO COUNSELING FIRST - Not for her - For you. We are in counseling and have been fo a long time. But nothing eally changes. We're mor polite to each other-- fewer knock-out drang-down fights, which is supposed to be a sign of progress. So the fighting is less, but there is nothing in its place. No warmth or love or renewed connection. Coldness fills the gap. So then I think, I need to get the hell out of this coldness. I can't live like that. But it seems perfectly okay with her. She's an icicle and doesn't need any more than that. Dilemma. Dilemma. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 111964 Canada 06/22/2007 11:14 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 234235 United States 06/22/2007 11:18 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | bible thumpers and other numb skulls cannot handle the idea of their spouse having sex with some one else. but i would not do it unless you could handle the reverse. then of course why are you together in the first place? after this if you stay together what you will have is a partnership it can be a very strong one. Cheating =no; communication, taking responsibility for your desires and unconditional acceptance of your loved ones = yes |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 111964 Canada 06/22/2007 11:21 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | no one's thumping the bible why make a commitment if you don't plan to keep it? anyway, this spouse already cheated so, the person is free to live i am only saying sometimes forgiveness and reconciliation is the best thing for children involved legalism is not the way to live |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 111442 Canada 06/22/2007 11:23 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | there is a psychological principle that the guilty party will subconsciously hate the person they wronged so, the cheating spouse will hate you and want to blame you for "why" they cheated so, in order to get past this place the cheating spouse has to take responsibility for their own unfaithfulness and not make ANY excuses for it if they are not ready to do that maybe the marriage is over and only exists in form without the commitment needed to sustain a relationship |
Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 204901 United States 06/22/2007 11:25 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | No kids. If there were kids I would stick it out. But not having any children doesn't seem to be making the decision any easier. I'm thinking that I will give myself a time frame-- say three to six months to think through this. In the meantime I will try my best to be the type of partner I wish I had. If things don't improve then I'll make my move. Thanks for all the advice and support. It does help. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 111442 Canada 06/22/2007 11:26 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |