That is odd. I got into a heated argument/borderline screaming match against the Heavenly Father, demanding he do something about the wicked city of Dallas.

My soul was so riled, I couldn't sleep all night, until 6 in the morning, when I mustered an almost not insulting prayer.

Due to deep dissatisfaction over the world and my life, I have been very sore towards the Divine lately*. Spiritually at the "I only repent in being formed, and mourn the day of my birth" type despair.


*It came into crystal clear focus, how between Satan, the Heavenly Father/Christ, my life has been deliberately F'ed from the moment of my conception. It is so F'ed, if I dare think, plot or plan to court a woman, the Heavenly Father will F my life up to prevent it, while Satan rubs my nose in it, and tortures me with all the things I will never have or experience. So my opinion towards the Heavenly Father/Christ is, "you are all powerful and can force me to do what you want, but I repent and do not consent. Send another whom you have rewarded. On account of you, my life has been a misery since conception, you take that which I desire, and offer that which I do not desire. Never did I desire eternal life, never did I desire to rule over nations or be eternally trapped in a paradise without seasons, without dreams and from my vantage point, without hope. Send another, for you have only did evil to me, and did fornicate with my enemies against me. On account of you I have lived a loveless impoverished existence, and repent in existing.".