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Let's talk about Ascension I want to Ascend really fast! What should I do?

 
eScrew
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User ID: 262878
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08/05/2007 11:56 AM
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Let's talk about Ascension I want to Ascend really fast! What should I do?
hf
Anonymous Coward
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08/05/2007 11:57 AM
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Re: Let's talk about Ascension I want to Ascend really fast! What should I do?
Take the express elevator.
eScrew (OP)

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08/05/2007 11:58 AM
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Re: Let's talk about Ascension I want to Ascend really fast! What should I do?
I want to ascend to the spiritual realm.
Anonymous Coward
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08/05/2007 12:01 PM
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Re: Let's talk about Ascension I want to Ascend really fast! What should I do?
I want to ascend to the spiritual realm.
 Quoting: eScrew

[link to snoedel.punt.nl] watch 10 min. vid.
Anonymous Coward
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08/05/2007 12:03 PM
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Re: Let's talk about Ascension I want to Ascend really fast! What should I do?
Learn to meditate and in trying times, remember to Breath
grisgris13

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08/05/2007 12:03 PM
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Re: Let's talk about Ascension I want to Ascend really fast! What should I do?
Die...
Anonymous Coward
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08/05/2007 12:05 PM
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Re: Let's talk about Ascension I want to Ascend really fast! What should I do?
eat a lot of cabbage
Anonymous Coward
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08/05/2007 12:05 PM
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Re: Let's talk about Ascension I want to Ascend really fast! What should I do?
I want to ascend to the spiritual realm.
 Quoting: eScrew



Be aware that shortcuts can often get you in a bad situation. This applies to both the physical and spiritual realm.
eScrew (OP)

User ID: 262878
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08/05/2007 12:07 PM
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Re: Let's talk about Ascension I want to Ascend really fast! What should I do?
[link to snoedel.punt.nl] watch 10 min. vid.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 268293


Thanks.
eScrew (OP)

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08/05/2007 12:08 PM
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Re: Let's talk about Ascension I want to Ascend really fast! What should I do?
Be aware that shortcuts can often get you in a bad situation. This applies to both the physical and spiritual realm.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 274979


Our earth is ascending and I want to take this trip as well.
Anonymous Coward
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Pakistan
08/05/2007 12:11 PM
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Re: Let's talk about Ascension I want to Ascend really fast! What should I do?
DMT: Inhale deeply 3 times
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 277820
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08/05/2007 12:12 PM
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Re: Let's talk about Ascension I want to Ascend really fast! What should I do?
Drink a scottle of botch and some martoonies and turn around real fast 50 times while saying:

"Starkle, starkle, little twink,
Who I am I are, I think.
I'm not under the affluence of inchohol
As many thinkle peep I am.
I've just had tee many too martoonies
And a scottle of botch,
And the drunker I sit here,
The longer I am."

That oughta do it.

drinks dasbier
WhiteCosmicWizard

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08/05/2007 12:30 PM
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Re: Let's talk about Ascension I want to Ascend really fast! What should I do?
I don't believe there is a quick overnight way...

But if you go to these caves: [link to www.dzogchenlineage.org]

and seek out one of the guru's there and get them to be your mentor, you can ascend using the dzogchen meditation technique. It's a secret meditation that you will not find anywhere on the internet or in books. The only way to learn it is to go live in these caves with the masters who keep it a closely guarded secret. Apparently this is no bullshit, people who use this technique stop breathing for about a week, and then their body starts glowing white then disappears.
Klaatu Barada Nikto
[link to i17.photobucket.com]
Wizard Enchants Timelessness
Anonymous Coward
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08/05/2007 12:32 PM
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Re: Let's talk about Ascension I want to Ascend really fast! What should I do?
I would say stop watching stargate so much eh
Anonymous Coward
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08/05/2007 12:39 PM
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Re: Let's talk about Ascension I want to Ascend really fast! What should I do?
ascension

[link to www.youtube.com]
Ghost in the machine
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08/05/2007 12:43 PM
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Re: Let's talk about Ascension I want to Ascend really fast! What should I do?
Fed-Ex!
kalamity kool

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Australia
08/05/2007 12:47 PM
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Re: Let's talk about Ascension I want to Ascend really fast! What should I do?
Hold on tight!

If the Earth is ascending, then you are along for the ride.
eScrew (OP)

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08/05/2007 01:33 PM
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Re: Let's talk about Ascension I want to Ascend really fast! What should I do?
Thanks for advice.
Highlander_

User ID: 254820
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08/05/2007 01:58 PM
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Re: Let's talk about Ascension I want to Ascend really fast! What should I do?
JET PACK... evil3 Couldn't resist... lmao
Memor Miles Militis Templar, pro quos nos pugna!

Non Nobis Domine, Non Nobis, Sed Nomine Tuo Da Gloriam!

Dante said,
‘The darkest places in hell are reserved for those who maintain their neutrality in times of moral crisis.

[link to bornatemplar.blogspot.com]
Courtney

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08/05/2007 02:07 PM
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Re: Let's talk about Ascension I want to Ascend really fast! What should I do?
hf
 Quoting: eScrew

Get a ticket to "The Island":
ascension
I hear they have a great golf course!
Neque porro quisquam est qui dolorem ipsum quia dolor sit amet, consectetur, adipisci velit...
O~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~​~~~~~~~~~~~~
If secrets are like garbage... How do I throw them away?
[link to www.godlikeproductions.com]
O~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Loose Lips Save Ships
O~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I don't make threats...Only promisses!
O~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That is the Wyrding Way.
O~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In subspace everyone can hear you scream!
darth marduk
User ID: 277939
Croatia
08/05/2007 02:14 PM
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Re: Let's talk about Ascension I want to Ascend really fast! What should I do?
But if you go to these caves: [link to www.dzogchenlineage.org]

 Quoting: WhiteCosmicWizard


yes, this looks like the quickest way!...

thanks WCW!

hf
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 268293
United States
08/05/2007 02:15 PM
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Re: Let's talk about Ascension I want to Ascend really fast! What should I do?
Drink a scottle of botch and some martoonies and turn around real fast 50 times while saying:

"Starkle, starkle, little twink,
Who I am I are, I think.
I'm not under the affluence of inchohol
As many thinkle peep I am.
I've just had tee many too martoonies
And a scottle of botch,
And the drunker I sit here,
The longer I am."

That oughta do it.

drinks dasbier
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 277820

LOL. cute.
Courtney

User ID: 277932
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08/05/2007 02:50 PM
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Re: Let's talk about Ascension I want to Ascend really fast! What should I do?
How to get to Ascension:
[link to www.ascension-island.gov.ac]

Virtual Map Tour:
[link to www.ascension-island.gov.ac]
oops
Wonder why they removed the this? 1dunno1

Try this one:
[link to 72.14.253.104]

The Devil's Golf Course:
(Guinness book of world records: "Worst golf course in the world!")
[link to www.mysterra.org]
Neque porro quisquam est qui dolorem ipsum quia dolor sit amet, consectetur, adipisci velit...
O~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~​~~~~~~~~~~~~
If secrets are like garbage... How do I throw them away?
[link to www.godlikeproductions.com]
O~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Loose Lips Save Ships
O~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I don't make threats...Only promisses!
O~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That is the Wyrding Way.
O~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In subspace everyone can hear you scream!
Spectrum Blue

User ID: 181546
United States
08/05/2007 02:53 PM
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Re: Let's talk about Ascension I want to Ascend really fast! What should I do?
ascend . . . ascend . . .try the stairs. Best way to get to heaven.
Dreams will begin as they fade into chaos.
Anonymous Coward
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Canada
08/05/2007 03:00 PM
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Re: Let's talk about Ascension I want to Ascend really fast! What should I do?
Die...
 Quoting: grisgris13

nice response
simple but true
Anonymous Coward
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08/05/2007 03:20 PM
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Re: Let's talk about Ascension I want to Ascend really fast! What should I do?
maybe somewhere in tibet?
Ace Cension
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08/05/2007 03:46 PM
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Re: Let's talk about Ascension I want to Ascend really fast! What should I do?
GREAT IDEA! Don't dally another life.

A good book is "Dossier on the Ascension"
[link to www.amazon.com]

But be warned that:
"...you must know that before you pass through the gate, the false-hierarchy impostor of your ascended self lies waiting to deter you from that moment when, dressed in cap and gown, you are ready to receive that scroll on which is written your Victory–your diploma showing your preparedness to move onward in the universities of Cosmos.

Blessed hearts, that one [that false hierarch] long ago elected the left-handed path and therefore did advance to levels of adeptship and black magic beyond those levels to which you may have attained [on the right-handed path of personal Christhood in past golden ages and] unto this hour; [therefore] you win by devotion, by fervor, by violet flame, by Ascended Master sponsorship.

Without a doubt, it does require some degree of mastery to advance thus far and to cross over to ultimate freedom. But, beloved, the urgency of those on the left-handed path to become adepts in the alchemy of Matter has been[, in some cases,] far greater than your own [sense of urgency to become adepts on the right-handed path]. For they have no God, no sponsoring source of Light, whereas you are one with your God, who is the masterful Presence within your being."
Lotus Feet

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08/05/2007 03:53 PM
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Re: Let's talk about Ascension I want to Ascend really fast! What should I do?
heal and purify the self
i love satan
Anonymous Coward
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Finland
08/05/2007 03:55 PM
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Re: Let's talk about Ascension I want to Ascend really fast! What should I do?
go to the roof. and jump down head first.
Flame On
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08/05/2007 03:57 PM
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Re: Let's talk about Ascension I want to Ascend really fast! What should I do?
If you want to ascend you just need to keep doing those drugs... copious amounts of 'em. Try heroin, crack, or better yet, mix them together! Seriously, my invisible friend told me so...
Anonymous Coward
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Malaysia
08/05/2007 04:20 PM
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Re: Let's talk about Ascension I want to Ascend really fast! What should I do?
You all have been conned!!!

"Ascension" or the raising of vibrations will only take you on a merry go round ride, "up" towards some higher planes (astral, etc.) from which one will always descend, in a never ending cycle of "recycles".

The only "permanent exit" is exactly the reverse!!! Only a few truly understood this ancient secret, which has been kept very closely guarded to avoid "freeloaders" (there are shortcuts / cheats like in video games ) and "contaminants" (like the bushes & che(n)rrys, etc.) who may get through using ultra-modern high tech equipment.

Don't believe me?: ancient telepathic communication and remote viewing, which would take a life time to master previously could today be done by anybody using cheap hand phones and digicams, as just two examples. Think about "flying" or even entering into deep meditative states just by listening to the appropriate CDs.

So, what is the true "direction" and target objective?

Anybody care to guess? Think of dolphins and HAARP........

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