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Company Christmas Party

 
Spiritual Freedom
11/21/2004 05:08 PM
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Company Christmas Party
Nowadays you canīt even please part of the people some of the time. :lmao



> TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

>>> Iīm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take
>>> place on December 23rd at Luigiīs Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots
>>> of spiked eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols ... feel
>>> free to sing along. And donīt be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed
>>> as
>
>>> Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree! Exchange of gifts among
>>> employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.
>>> Merry Christmas to you and your family. Patty Lewis - Human Resources
>>> Director
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> December 2n


>>> TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> In no way was yesterdayīs memo intended to exclude our Jewish
>>> employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday that often
>>> coincides with Christmas (though unfortunately not this year). However,
>>> from now on weīre calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy
>>> applies
>
>>> to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. There will be no
>>> Christmas tree and no Christmas carols sung. Happy Holidays to you and
>>> your family. Patty Lewis - Human Resources Directo


>>> December 3rd

>>> TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Regarding the anonymous note I received from a member of Alcoholics
>
>>> Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, Iīm happy to accommodate this
>>> request, but, donīt forget, if I put a sign on the table that reads, "AA
>>> Only," you wonīt be anonymous anymore. In addition, forget about the
>>> gifts exchange-no gifts will be allowed since the union members feel
>>> that
>
>>> $10 is too much money. Patty Lewis - Human Researchers Director
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> December 7t


>>> TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Iīve arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest
>>> from the dessert buffet and pregnant women closest to the restrooms.
>>> Gays
>
>>> are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with the
>>> gay men; each will have their table. Yes, there will be a flower
>>> arrangement for the gay menīs table. Happy now? Patty Lewis - Human
>>> Racehorses Directo


>>> December 9t


>>> TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> People, people-nothing sinister was intended by wanting our CEO to
>>> play Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of "Santa" does happen to be
>>> "Satan," there is no evil connotation to our own "little man in a red
>>> suit." Patty Lewis - Human Ratraces
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> December 10t


>>> TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Vegetarians-Iīve had it with you people!! Weīre going to hold this
>>> party at Luigiīs Open Pit whether you like it or not, you can just sit
>>> at
>
>>> the table farthest from the "grill of death," as you put it, and youīll
>>> get salad bar only, including hydroponic tomatoes. But, you know,
>>> tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. Iīve heard
>>> them scream. Iīm hearing them right now. Ha! I hope you all have a
>>> rotten
>
>>> holiday! Drive drunk and die, you hear me? The Bitch from Hell!
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> December 14t


>>> TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Iīm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy
>>> recovery from her stress-related illness. Iīll continue to forward your
>>> cards to her at the sanitarium. In the meantime, management has decided
>>> to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd
>>> off with full pay. Terri Bishop - Acting Human Resources Director
>
>
Spiritual Freedom
12/08/2005 10:17 AM
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Re: Company Christmas Party
Spiritual Freedom nli
12/08/2005 10:17 AM
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Re: Company Christmas Party
Seems like all I do is talk to myself on this board anymore. I come here to talk and laugh with people but the dynamics of the board right now are such that Porksword and Raven get more hits than the old-timers and that says alot about the dynamics of the board.

I will probably become an occasional lurker for awhile until things change, once again.

I love MOST of you.
Anonymous Coward
12/08/2005 10:17 AM
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Re: Company Christmas Party
lol. Like I said one of GLPīs finest.
AlphaBitch
12/08/2005 10:17 AM
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Re: Company Christmas Party
SF, that was terrific, even realistic of the way the world turns these days. BTW, there arenīt many on the board at this hour...but I sure appreciate your sharing the laugh so early on a Monday morning. Does a mind good...

hugs
Anonymous Coward
12/08/2005 10:17 AM
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Re: Company Christmas Party
Thereīs that word again "mind". Like what I should do with my own business. lol
AlphaBitch
12/08/2005 10:17 AM
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There you are AC Mind...LOL hi

I must subconsciously have a īmindī thing going on this morning ;)
Spiritual Freedom
12/08/2005 10:17 AM
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Re: Company Christmas Party
Thanks Alpha and A/Cīs. I know there are not many here on the morning but I posted this early yesterday and it just sunk quickly. My last few posts Iīve had to bump. It is just discouraging, thatīs all. Iīll get over it. This board constantly changes and you have to be flexible. I know that.
NINEOFONE
12/08/2005 10:17 AM
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That was a classic S-F! thanks for brightening my day!
Spiritual Freedom
12/08/2005 10:17 AM
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Have a great day everybody. Hi NINEOFONE. Have a good one. Iīm off to work.
AlphaBitch
12/08/2005 10:17 AM
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YW SF and I hope you have a terrific day!

9, wake up and log in wink
Seneca
12/08/2005 10:17 AM
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Re: Company Christmas Party
lmao

Political correctness run amok!
Spiritual Freedom
12/08/2005 10:17 AM
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Re: Company Christmas Party
Bumping for the evening folks.
Spiritual Freedom
12/08/2005 10:17 AM
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Re: Company Christmas Party
BUMP!!!


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