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Company Christmas Party

 
Spiritual Freedom
11/21/2004 05:08 PM
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Company Christmas Party
Nowadays you can´t even please part of the people some of the time. :lmao



> TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

>>> I´m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take
>>> place on December 23rd at Luigi´s Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots
>>> of spiked eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols ... feel
>>> free to sing along. And don´t be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed
>>> as
>
>>> Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree! Exchange of gifts among
>>> employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.
>>> Merry Christmas to you and your family. Patty Lewis - Human Resources
>>> Director
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> December 2n


>>> TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> In no way was yesterday´s memo intended to exclude our Jewish
>>> employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday that often
>>> coincides with Christmas (though unfortunately not this year). However,
>>> from now on we´re calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy
>>> applies
>
>>> to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. There will be no
>>> Christmas tree and no Christmas carols sung. Happy Holidays to you and
>>> your family. Patty Lewis - Human Resources Directo


>>> December 3rd

>>> TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Regarding the anonymous note I received from a member of Alcoholics
>
>>> Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, I´m happy to accommodate this
>>> request, but, don´t forget, if I put a sign on the table that reads, "AA
>>> Only," you won´t be anonymous anymore. In addition, forget about the
>>> gifts exchange-no gifts will be allowed since the union members feel
>>> that
>
>>> $10 is too much money. Patty Lewis - Human Researchers Director
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> December 7t


>>> TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> I´ve arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest
>>> from the dessert buffet and pregnant women closest to the restrooms.
>>> Gays
>
>>> are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with the
>>> gay men; each will have their table. Yes, there will be a flower
>>> arrangement for the gay men´s table. Happy now? Patty Lewis - Human
>>> Racehorses Directo


>>> December 9t


>>> TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> People, people-nothing sinister was intended by wanting our CEO to
>>> play Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of "Santa" does happen to be
>>> "Satan," there is no evil connotation to our own "little man in a red
>>> suit." Patty Lewis - Human Ratraces
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> December 10t


>>> TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Vegetarians-I´ve had it with you people!! We´re going to hold this
>>> party at Luigi´s Open Pit whether you like it or not, you can just sit
>>> at
>
>>> the table farthest from the "grill of death," as you put it, and you´ll
>>> get salad bar only, including hydroponic tomatoes. But, you know,
>>> tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I´ve heard
>>> them scream. I´m hearing them right now. Ha! I hope you all have a
>>> rotten
>
>>> holiday! Drive drunk and die, you hear me? The Bitch from Hell!
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> December 14t


>>> TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> I´m sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy
>>> recovery from her stress-related illness. I´ll continue to forward your
>>> cards to her at the sanitarium. In the meantime, management has decided
>>> to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd
>>> off with full pay. Terri Bishop - Acting Human Resources Director
>
>
Spiritual Freedom
12/08/2005 10:17 AM
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Re: Company Christmas Party
Spiritual Freedom nli
12/08/2005 10:17 AM
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Re: Company Christmas Party
Seems like all I do is talk to myself on this board anymore. I come here to talk and laugh with people but the dynamics of the board right now are such that Porksword and Raven get more hits than the old-timers and that says alot about the dynamics of the board.

I will probably become an occasional lurker for awhile until things change, once again.

I love MOST of you.
Anonymous Coward
12/08/2005 10:17 AM
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Re: Company Christmas Party
lol. Like I said one of GLP´s finest.
AlphaBitch
12/08/2005 10:17 AM
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Re: Company Christmas Party
SF, that was terrific, even realistic of the way the world turns these days. BTW, there aren´t many on the board at this hour...but I sure appreciate your sharing the laugh so early on a Monday morning. Does a mind good...

hugs
Anonymous Coward
12/08/2005 10:17 AM
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Re: Company Christmas Party
There´s that word again "mind". Like what I should do with my own business. lol
AlphaBitch
12/08/2005 10:17 AM
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There you are AC Mind...LOL hi

I must subconsciously have a ´mind´ thing going on this morning ;)
Spiritual Freedom
12/08/2005 10:17 AM
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Re: Company Christmas Party
Thanks Alpha and A/C´s. I know there are not many here on the morning but I posted this early yesterday and it just sunk quickly. My last few posts I´ve had to bump. It is just discouraging, that´s all. I´ll get over it. This board constantly changes and you have to be flexible. I know that.
NINEOFONE
12/08/2005 10:17 AM
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That was a classic S-F! thanks for brightening my day!
Spiritual Freedom
12/08/2005 10:17 AM
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Have a great day everybody. Hi NINEOFONE. Have a good one. I´m off to work.
AlphaBitch
12/08/2005 10:17 AM
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Re: Company Christmas Party
YW SF and I hope you have a terrific day!

9, wake up and log in wink
Seneca
12/08/2005 10:17 AM
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Re: Company Christmas Party
lmao

Political correctness run amok!
Spiritual Freedom
12/08/2005 10:17 AM
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Re: Company Christmas Party
Bumping for the evening folks.
Spiritual Freedom
12/08/2005 10:17 AM
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Re: Company Christmas Party
BUMP!!!

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