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I am the Powerball winner

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 289755
United Kingdom
08/28/2007 11:14 AM
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Re: I am the Powerball winner
Can I interest you in a Monorail?

Well, sir, there's nothing on earth
Like a genuine,
Bona fide,
Electrified,
Six-car
Monorail! ...
What'd I say?
Monorail!
What's it called?
Monorail!
That's right! Monorail!
Krahc Hed
User ID: 289759
Poland
08/28/2007 11:28 AM
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Re: I am the Powerball winner
I SUK YO DICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Starshinehippiechick
User ID: 181091
France
08/28/2007 11:36 AM
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Re: I am the Powerball winner
SUCK YO DICK TOO!!!!!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 69144
United States
08/28/2007 11:40 AM
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Re: I am the Powerball winner
Wow are people gullable...He couldn't sleep since Friday..
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 265673
United States
08/28/2007 11:41 AM
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Re: I am the Powerball winner
P.S. I haven't slept since Friday night!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 287528



Get some sleep buddy! and Congrats!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 265673
United States
08/28/2007 11:45 AM
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Re: I am the Powerball winner
Hello...

I am the 314 million dollar Powerball winner, but I am actually kind of afraid of to come forward to claim my winnings until I figure out what kind of initial impact this is going to have upon my life. I've spent a lot of time fantasizing about this happening to me someday, and now that it has, I am at a loss as to what steps I need to take to protect myself from the onslaught of friends/relatives/sales people/con-artists, ect...

Can any of you please give me a short list of things that I need to consider BEFORE coming forward? Any good financial advisers here on this board, that might be able to clue me in, as far as things to do, and things to avoid?

Thanks a lot for any assistance.
 Quoting: State of shock 287528



By the way, did you enjoy the experience of using the "LOA"?
FreezeDried Jesus

User ID: 83654
United States
08/28/2007 11:48 AM
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Re: I am the Powerball winner
ACT! ACT! ACT! and stock up on freezdried yoda's chicken chunks NOW! supplies won't last forever.
Humph!
User ID: 214251
United States
08/28/2007 11:49 AM
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Re: I am the Powerball winner
1. TELL NO ONE - not even your children

2. See three high profile investment brokers, they get one third each, tell each one that after 3 years the one who has the highest return gets all the money to invest.

2.5 Tell your kids

3. Book a holiday through a travel agency as Mr/Mrs Smith in a secure resort for 30 days. (time to think)

4. DO NOT GO HOME.

5. While on holiday use the internet to research a comfortable but unassuming home in a new city, invite those friends you hope are REAL to a house warming, (pay their air fares) those who ask for money are not your friends.

6. If you live in America the larger the win the bigger you are a target.

7. research a new home/car/boat in the city/town where you really want to live, buy through intermediate broker, change your name, move, live happily.

8. buy your friends/relatives one gift they always wanted, JUST ONE, do not send money, no matter how much it will not be enough for them.

9. Find something you REALLY want to do.

Ps. You cannot buy love, if you didn't have a good relationship to begin with it will not get better, money will not buy the love of your children either.

 Quoting: Prof-Rabbit 148352

Wow... some solid advice worth thinking about - if it ever happens. :o)

.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 287528
United States
08/28/2007 05:46 PM
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Re: I am the Powerball winner
i'm gonna go out on a limb here.....

bsflag
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 289653



I am the OP.

Hey... Don't sweat it. Go ahead and fly the BS flag. If I were you, I probably wouldn't believe it either. In fact, even after 3 days, I STILL can hardly believe it myself. I've checked the numbers literally DOZENS of times, because it's as if a part of me just can't fathom this!

And since no one believes me, I can see that getting any useful comments is going to be impossible here. I only tried, because I have been a GLP surfer for years, and it was my first reaction, when I started looking for a few answers. My bad.

Thanks anyway folks. I will still surf GLP, but I'll probably be doing it from a brand new, fully decked out computer!
The Monk
User ID: 274840
United States
08/28/2007 05:48 PM
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Re: I am the Powerball winner
i'm gonna go out on a limb here.....

bsflag
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 289653

LOL. Maybe just a little.
The Monk
User ID: 274840
United States
08/28/2007 05:50 PM
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Re: I am the Powerball winner
i'm gonna go out on a limb here.....

bsflag



I am the OP.

Hey... Don't sweat it. Go ahead and fly the BS flag. If I were you, I probably wouldn't believe it either. In fact, even after 3 days, I STILL can hardly believe it myself. I've checked the numbers literally DOZENS of times, because it's as if a part of me just can't fathom this!

And since no one believes me, I can see that getting any useful comments is going to be impossible here. I only tried, because I have been a GLP surfer for years, and it was my first reaction, when I started looking for a few answers. My bad.

Thanks anyway folks. I will still surf GLP, but I'll probably be doing it from a brand new, fully decked out computer!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 287528


LOL. Ok, I'll bite. Set up an anonymous Trust. They'll never know who you are.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 288425
United States
08/28/2007 06:04 PM
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Re: I am the Powerball winner
let me guess: the winner has alraedy a shitload of money...right?! RIGHT!!!! all the poor people which would need it, play their whole life...but never win anything! what a shitty world. even here in the states...people are starving can't feed nor educate their children...not even themself. they don't have a health insurance...nothing.

but somebody who's rich, plays the lottery the first time in his life...and v eh volla ! wins the whole bunch of money...the whole thing just for him/her self.

there's something wrong with our planet...
Asinine

User ID: 287311
United States
08/28/2007 06:12 PM
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Re: I am the Powerball winner
I'll pretend this is true for this bit of knowledge. The (self-made) rich are rich because not only are they good at making money, but good at keeping it. I hear most lottery winners blow through there winnings in a few short years and then end up bankrupt. I'd recommend doing a little anonymous searching on the experiences of other winners and what happened to them a few years later.

Personally, I'd look into hiring lawyer or two, 2 accountants, and at least 2 brokers. This way you can divide your assets and play them off of each other to help keep them honest.

Also, Uncle Sam has a way of getting "his" money back, so make sure you are even and clean with the government, and check for loopholes an such that allows the government to seize your assets. (Payments may end on death, extra taxes may apply, can not have more than $10,000 in cash in your posetion, etc...)
"It is surprising that supposedly intelligent people can make such asinine statements." -Definition of Asinine, www.Dictionary.com

It's all a farce; and, the joke is on all of us.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 289963
United States
08/28/2007 06:17 PM
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Re: I am the Powerball winner
ACT! ACT! ACT! and stock up on freezdried yoda's chicken chunks NOW! supplies won't last forever.
 Quoting: FreezeDried Jesus



Best advice yet...!!!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 287778
United States
08/28/2007 06:18 PM
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Re: I am the Powerball winner
Give at least 50% of your good fortune to the poor who suffer without food to eat, or without shelter or indeed, without hope. Do this and your inner self will begin to glow with the richness of an oppulent sun spilling its golden treasure into an endless vault of heavenly blue.
Unanimous Lotto
User ID: 288472
United States
08/28/2007 06:26 PM
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Re: I am the Powerball winner
Feed the hungry
Setup low income housing for the homeless
Goto Childrens doctors facilities and daycare facilities and start handing out cash, those little ones cost a lot of money that parents don't often have.

Get an unlisted number!

Get everything in writing and hire 2 lawyers to watch each others backs while watching yours.

Take the lump sum, get at least 10% of that out of the country, I recommend a swiss bank account. Have at least 5-10% in precious materials, platinum, gold, silver. Cold hard cash is good too.

Start a non-profit and use all the free advertising that becoming filthy rich endows.

And for God Sakes, don't horde it, you've got to get that money circulating. Thats the real problem, too many rich folks holding onto every last dime. Spend spend spend, help out friends, families, help as many people as you can. Because the truth is, when ya die, you can't take it with you.
Unanimous Advice
User ID: 288472
United States
08/28/2007 06:30 PM
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Re: I am the Powerball winner
OP, Powerball winner, Whatchamacallit, I was just thinking, if you really have won all that money, take a pic of your ticket and black out the bar codes & numbers at the bottom, show us that ticket with the winning numbers and date. We'll believe you.

Would probably only take 5 minutes.

PS, SIGN THE TICKET! Just in case someone else tries to steal it, sign the back, date it too!
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 287528
United States
08/28/2007 06:33 PM
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Re: I am the Powerball winner
1. TELL NO ONE - not even your children

2. See three high profile investment brokers, they get one third each, tell each one that after 3 years the one who has the highest return gets all the money to invest.

2.5 Tell your kids

3. Book a holiday through a travel agency as Mr/Mrs Smith in a secure resort for 30 days. (time to think)

4. DO NOT GO HOME.

5. While on holiday use the internet to research a comfortable but unassuming home in a new city, invite those friends you hope are REAL to a house warming, (pay their air fares) those who ask for money are not your friends.

6. If you live in America the larger the win the bigger you are a target.

7. research a new home/car/boat in the city/town where you really want to live, buy through intermediate broker, change your name, move, live happily.

8. buy your friends/relatives one gift they always wanted, JUST ONE, do not send money, no matter how much it will not be enough for them.

9. Find something you REALLY want to do.

Ps. You cannot buy love, if you didn't have a good relationship to begin with it will not get better, money will not buy the love of your children either.
 Quoting: Prof-Rabbit 148352





Quote: "1. TELL NO ONE - not even your children"

I am 42 years old, have never been married, and I have no children (that I know of). I have told NOBODY, except the people at GLP, who don't believe me anyway. My friends and co-workers know that there is something going on with me though. They don't know what, but ALL of them have commented on me being "nervous", or "distracted".
-----------------------------------------------------------

Quote: "2. See three high profile investment brokers, they get one third each, tell each one that after 3 years the one who has the highest return gets all the money to invest."

Sounds like something worth considering. I might do something like that, or some variant thereof.
-----------------------------------------------------------

Quote: "2.5 Tell your kids"

Like I said, I have no children.
-----------------------------------------------------------

Quote: "3. Book a holiday through a travel agency as Mr/Mrs Smith in a secure resort for 30 days. (time to think)"

I haven't been able to do anything BUT think for the last three days. I cannot even sleep. everytime I lay down to sleep, I just lay there with a zillion thoughts keeping me awake. I haven't layed claim to my jackpot yet, and probably won't for a while.
-----------------------------------------------------------

Quote: "4. DO NOT GO HOME."

Well, it's too late for that. I was visiting my sister in Indiana last week when I bought the ticket (Thursday). I flew home (Oregon) Friday night, and have been here since. In fact, other than work, I have gone NOWHERE. I am too burnt out and tired, from lack of sleep.
-----------------------------------------------------------

Quote: "5. While on holiday use the internet to research a comfortable but unassuming home in a new city, invite those friends you hope are REAL to a house warming, (pay their air fares) those who ask for money are not your friends."

That is very similar to something I plan on doing.
-----------------------------------------------------------

Quote: "6. If you live in America the larger the win the bigger you are a target."

Thanks... I needed that. LOL.
-----------------------------------------------------------

Quote: "7. research a new home/car/boat in the city/town where you really want to live, buy through intermediate broker, change your name, move, live happily."

Without doubt.
-----------------------------------------------------------

Quote: "8. buy your friends/relatives one gift they always wanted, JUST ONE, do not send money, no matter how much it will not be enough for them."

I appreciate this suggestion, but I have something a little more creative in mind. I'll tell you later, when I have more time, and can think straight.
-----------------------------------------------------------

Quote: "9. Find something you REALLY want to do."

Ohhhhh yeah! I've already got a few ideas on THAT one!
-----------------------------------------------------------

Quote: "Ps. You cannot buy love, if you didn't have a good relationship to begin with it will not get better, money will not buy the love of your children either."


Here's the kicker! I am single, and have been for YEARS! I do not party, date, and I do not really do not have much interaction with people at all. I am somewhat of a hermit. I've been this way ever since I moved here (Oregon) from Denver, about 12 years ago. I don't want to bore you with the reasons, but suffice it to say, I had some VERY traumatic events happen to me, that made me withdraw from society as much as I possibly could, and still be able to pay the bills.

As far as "relationships" go, I have kept to myself so much that I don't really meet many new people. I consider myself above average looking, (6' 1", 200 pounds) and since I have always worked out like clockwork and eaten right, I look younger than my age. I get complements on my body fairly frequently, but... I have NEVER had much luck with women at all, mostly because I am extremely shy.

In fact, I always been one of those guys who has grown to hate women, because they love the EXACT kind of guys that I am not. Cocky, arrogant, egotistical, "bad boy", pirate types. So, I guess one good side-effect of having all this wealth, is that I will be able to snub these women, the way they've always acted towards me, and my friends. Most of my friends are the same as I am. The nice, romantic, polite, caring types, and guess what... They are the lonliest guys in the world!

At any rate, I will be making certain that I do not get hoodwinked by any of these gold-digger types. I'm not interested in that type of "love".


At any rate, I have to go, but I'll be back later, to see if there are any useful suggestions coming in.

Hasta!
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 287528
United States
08/28/2007 06:35 PM
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Re: I am the Powerball winner
OP, Powerball winner, Whatchamacallit, I was just thinking, if you really have won all that money, take a pic of your ticket and black out the bar codes & numbers at the bottom, show us that ticket with the winning numbers and date. We'll believe you.

Would probably only take 5 minutes.

PS, SIGN THE TICKET! Just in case someone else tries to steal it, sign the back, date it too!
 Quoting: Unanimous Advice 288472




I don't need you to believe me. I do not have a digital camera (YET!), but that is subject to change. I have another way of proving it in mind, but that will have to wait until I claim my jackpot.
Unanimous Advice
User ID: 288472
United States
08/28/2007 06:36 PM
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Re: I am the Powerball winner
Quote: "1. TELL NO ONE - not even your children"

I am 42 years old, have never been married, and I have no children (that I know of). I have told NOBODY, except the people at GLP, who don't believe me anyway. My friends and co-workers know that there is something going on with me though. They don't know what, but ALL of them have commented on me being "nervous", or "distracted".
-----------------------------------------------------------


 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 287528


WOAH? You're still going to work? You need to call in sick immediately and deal with this. You need to put in a 2 weeks notice, you CANNOT continue working.

Trust me you wouldn't want to, once everyone knows you'll be hounded and shunned and may even receive threats and demands for money. Managers above you will hold it against you. I don't care what job you have, if you won 314 million you need to quit for your OWN good.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 287528
United States
08/28/2007 06:39 PM
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Re: I am the Powerball winner
let me guess: the winner has alraedy a shitload of money...right?! RIGHT!!!! all the poor people which would need it, play their whole life...but never win anything! what a shitty world. even here in the states...people are starving can't feed nor educate their children...not even themself. they don't have a health insurance...nothing.

but somebody who's rich, plays the lottery the first time in his life...and v eh volla ! wins the whole bunch of money...the whole thing just for him/her self.

there's something wrong with our planet...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 288425



<OP here... my last post for a few hours, because I am EXHAUSTED!>



If it makes you feel any better, I have been living paycheck to paycheck for a LONG time. Women have ignored me my whole life, because I am very introverted and shy. I have been the furthest thing from the "high life" for 42 years... SO CHILL.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 287528
United States
08/28/2007 06:41 PM
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Re: I am the Powerball winner
Quote: "1. TELL NO ONE - not even your children"

I am 42 years old, have never been married, and I have no children (that I know of). I have told NOBODY, except the people at GLP, who don't believe me anyway. My friends and co-workers know that there is something going on with me though. They don't know what, but ALL of them have commented on me being "nervous", or "distracted".
-----------------------------------------------------------




WOAH? You're still going to work? You need to call in sick immediately and deal with this. You need to put in a 2 weeks notice, you CANNOT continue working.

Trust me you wouldn't want to, once everyone knows you'll be hounded and shunned and may even receive threats and demands for money. Managers above you will hold it against you. I don't care what job you have, if you won 314 million you need to quit for your OWN good.
 Quoting: Unanimous Advice 288472





I am trying to behave as normally as I can, given the circumstances.

<I'll be back later tonight>

OP out...
Unanimous Advice
User ID: 288472
United States
08/28/2007 06:42 PM
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Re: I am the Powerball winner
I don't need you to believe me. I do not have a digital camera (YET!), but that is subject to change. I have another way of proving it in mind, but that will have to wait until I claim my jackpot.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 287528


I do believe you and I'd be more than happy to assist you. You really need someone watching your back, thinking about the things you don't want to or can't consider. In all seriousness, sign the ticket IMMEDIATELY with your name and date and an address while you're at it. If you need help finding lawyers, accountants, I am sure we can find them for ya.

If you wanna prove it to the folks here at GLP I am sure they would appreciate it. If you don 't want the attention from everyone you can send a pic of the winning ticket to just a few folks you trust, or hey, noone at all.

But you have one major concern right now, you are sitting on hundreds of millions of dollars in a country where there are 90 guns for every 100 people. You need to consider your security. You should be in another city by now, in a hotel, making calls and getting affairs in order. Because if you think that those nut jobs and whacko's can't find you, you're DEAD wrong.

Please for your sake, consider your immediate security, do it tonight. Have a plan for tomorrow to get out of town. A call to the lotto office can set you on the right track, they will tell you much more than you would believe. Just tell them you suddenly don't feel "safe" and ask for assistance. Even then, you may want to consider hiring a bodyguard or two.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 289963
United States
08/28/2007 06:45 PM
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Re: I am the Powerball winner
OP won't be single too long, he will have dozens of wives or gorgeous blondes hanging all over him...)))

Well, OP, when the reports of who the winner really is, we shall know soon enough. FWIW, being here at GLP is quite hilarious and we appreciate the entertainment, at least. We wonder what WE would do if WE had won..)


hf
project StarChild

User ID: 252876
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08/28/2007 06:47 PM
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Re: I am the Powerball winner
if you win the lotto and never work again do you still have to pay taxes on your money every fucking year? i mean, notwithstanding the fact income tax is illegal.
 Quoting: dude in florida




You

"When scientists cannot explain something on THEIR terms, they will pretend to reduce the phenomenon to something else that they CAN explain, thus creating the illusion that they have given a plausible explanation of some ancient mystery. Don't be duped by their debunking.

" - AC 277733

What do you believe in?>>>>> [link to www.godlikeproductions.com]
Report earth changes here>>>> [link to www.godlikeproductions.com]
project StarChild

User ID: 252876
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08/28/2007 06:47 PM
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Re: I am the Powerball winner


"When scientists cannot explain something on THEIR terms, they will pretend to reduce the phenomenon to something else that they CAN explain, thus creating the illusion that they have given a plausible explanation of some ancient mystery. Don't be duped by their debunking.

" - AC 277733

What do you believe in?>>>>> [link to www.godlikeproductions.com]
Report earth changes here>>>> [link to www.godlikeproductions.com]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 269620
United States
08/28/2007 07:25 PM
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Re: I am the Powerball winner
You did not win the fucking powerball the winner was here in my town of Richmond Indiana at the speedway that I go to every other fucking day. If you was the winner what is across the street from Speedway where the ticket was bought..

If you answer that, What street did you drive on to get to the speedway... bsflag bsflag bsflag bsflag bsflag
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 289956
United States
08/28/2007 07:27 PM
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Re: I am the Powerball winner
Hello...

I am the 314 million dollar Powerball winner, but I am actually kind of afraid of to come forward to claim my winnings until I figure out what kind of initial impact this is going to have upon my life. I've spent a lot of time fantasizing about this happening to me someday, and now that it has, I am at a loss as to what steps I need to take to protect myself from the onslaught of friends/relatives/sales people/con-artists, ect...

Can any of you please give me a short list of things that I need to consider BEFORE coming forward? Any good financial advisers here on this board, that might be able to clue me in, as far as things to do, and things to avoid?

Thanks a lot for any assistance.
 Quoting: State of shock 287528

5a bsflag 5a bsflag 5a bsflag

I KNOW YOU ARE NOT! I AM! LOSER!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 219796
United States
08/28/2007 07:40 PM
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Re: I am the Powerball winner
Just take a lump sum payment and live of the interests in CD's in a NWO owned bank that will not collapse.

150+ million at 5.5% per year = alot of cash each month in income payments, and you never have to worry about the market.

And go live on a nice tropical island, tell no one there you have lots of money, and enjoy life without the rat race.
Asinine

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08/28/2007 07:40 PM
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Re: I am the Powerball winner
Well, OP considering you said you are unattached, a bit of advice. Be wary of the women folk. You run a real good chance of ending up with a golddigger sniffin your britches. If you for some reason want a whore like that, I'd suggest moving somewhere where it is legal and forming a business contract. Good luck if you are looking for love, there are a lot of sharks out there. And, for fuck's sake, get a prenup!

Oh, and don't go giving away any money until you have secured it. And, even then, be extremely careful about who, why, and how much you give out, if at all. Chances are if they are begging for it (or hinting really hard), they are just gold digging.

Also, be wary of civil lawsuits out of the blue, attempts at extorsion, and blackmail. Like I mentioned earlier, lottery winners have a tendancy to blow through their winnings like it will always be there.

Edit: I see after the fact, you already addressed the golddigger issue. The rest still applies, though.
"It is surprising that supposedly intelligent people can make such asinine statements." -Definition of Asinine, www.Dictionary.com

It's all a farce; and, the joke is on all of us.





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