"CHAUVINISTIC MALE !" GIVE ME YOUR BEST SHOT LADIES

your not even a man!!!!

learn to wipe your ass after you take a dump!!!

Question and Answer

What is the difference between Government Bonds and men?
Government Bonds mature.

Why are men like toilets?
They're either: Vacant, Engaged or full of crap.

Why do men have penises?
They certainly can't be admired for their brains.

Why is it better for a woman to have bigger breasts than brains?
Because men see better than they think.

What do you call the useless bit of skin attached to a penis?
A man.

Why is a cucumber a better date than a man?
The cucumber doesn't make you sleep on the wet spot.

What do men and kitchen flooring have in common?
You lay them right the first time, and you can walk all over them for years.

How many men does it take to tile a bathroom?
One, but you may have to slice him quite thin.

Why are men like parking spaces?
The good ones are taken, and the ones left are all handicapped.

What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

Why do men name their penises?
Because they don't like the idea of having a stranger make 99% of their decisions for them.

What does a man consider to be a seven course meal?
A hot dog and a six pack.

What's the best thing to come out of a penis?
The wrinkles!

Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?
Because if they all went, it would be hell.

Why are all dumb blond jokes one liners?
So men can understand them.

Why are men like paper cups?
They're disposable

What's the difference between a man and E.T.?
ET phoned home.

Why do men have a little hole in the end of their penises?
To let some air into their brains

What's the only exercise men get?
Sucking in their stomachs when a bikini walks by.

How do you force a man to do sit-ups?
Put the TV remote controls between his toes.

How can you tell when a man is well hung?
When you can barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.

Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women?
When it's time to regress to his childhood you don't have as far to go.

What did God say after he created man?
"I can do better than this" and he made woman.

Why are men like spray paint?
One squeeze and they're all over you.

Why are men like blenders?
You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

Why is food better than men?
Because you don't have to wait an hour for seconds.

Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.

Why do women fake orgasm?
Because men fake foreplay.

Why do men prefer blondes?
Men always like intellectual company

What's the difference between a bar and a clitoris?
Most men have no trouble finding a bar.

What do you call a man with 90% of his intelligence gone?
Divorced

What do you call a woman without an asshole ?
Divorced.

Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
Because only one in 100 million have the sense to stop and ask for directions.

Why are men are like horoscopes?
they always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

Why are men are like laxatives?
They irritate the shit out of you.

What should you give a man who has everything?
A smarter man to show him how to work it.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.

Why is it hard to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
Because they already have boyfriends.

Why is needing a man is like needing a parachute?
If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.

Why are women so bad at mathematics?
Because men keep telling them that this...
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.........is 12 inches.

You know what? I couldn't give a fuck! Each to his own I say. That's liberation for ya. The question is, are YOU liberated enough to handle my hairy pits?

Would all of you please go play on myspace?
I'm up to fuck-it with all this juvenile testosterone flying around.

It is impossible to play on myspace. I've tried!

woman are the bane of our existance!!!

especially western civilization woman


HEY WHATS THE DEFENITION OF VAGINA???


ITS THE BOX THE PENIS COMES IN..........

If they'd just go play with themselves...that would take care of it. NTM: they'd go blind be gone from GLP.

You are just a redneck pig...go to the barnyard to meet you lady...it fits you perfect you loser!

Why bother? You have already confirmed you are a pig.

Grow your own dope...plant a man!!

Interesting comment. Are they too much woman for you to handle?

I love chauvinistic men. They are so easy to manipulate and get them to do all the heavy work. Oh, poor me, I can lift it, move it, reach it, fix it....can you do it for me?

Works especially well if you have big hooters and a pouty mouth.

Those things are, after all, "men's work", aren't they?

THE PIG IS BACK!!!!

Now that I am done with my husbandly duties, lets see what you little ladies have to say.........Oh , I see thats your best?
Not much better than the juvenile males here.
Come on ladies I know for a fact there are some very intelligent females here. What have you got?

Don't know you. Can't insult you properly if I don't know you. Not all men are pigs so I won't waste time with generalities.

CHAUVINIST, a marxist control term

I thought fascist pig was a marxist control term.