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Why I skipped classes in high school and went surfing, and my principal told he wasn't going to let me graduate.

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 304696
United States
10/07/2007 10:12 PM
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Why I skipped classes in high school and went surfing, and my principal told he wasn't going to let me graduate.

Alrighty, then ... picture this if you will.

10 to 2 AM, X, Yogi DMT, and a box of Krispy Kremes,
in my "need to know" pose, just outside of Area 51
Contemplating the whole "chosen people" thingy
when a flaming stealth banana split the sky
like one would hope but never really expect
to see in a place like this.
Cutting right angle donuts on a dime
and stopping right at my Birkenstocks,
and me yelping...


Holy fucking shit!

Then the X-Files being,
Looking like some kind of blue-green Jackie Chan
with Isabella Rossellini lips, and breath that reeked of
vanilla Chig Champa
Did a slow-mo Matrix descent
Outta the butt end of the banana vessel
And hovered above my bug-eyes, my gaping jaw,
and my sweaty L. Ron Hubbard upper lip,
and all I could think was:
"I hope Uncle Martin here doesn't notice
that I pissed my fuckin' pants."

So light in his way,
Like an apparition, [that]
He had me crying out,
"Fuck me
It's gotta be
the Deadhead Chemistry
The blotter got [right] on top of me
Got me seein' E-motherfuckin'-T!"

And after calming me down
with some orange slices
and some fetal spooning,
E.T. revealed to me his singular purpose.
He said, "You are the Chosen One,
the One who will deliver the message.
A message of hope for those who choose to hear it
and a warning for those who do not."
Me. The Chosen One?
They chose me!!!
And I didn't even graduate from fuckin' high school.


You'd better...
You'd better...
You'd better...
You'd better listen.

Then he looked right through me
With somniferous almond eyes
Don't even know what that means
Must remember to write it down
This is so real
Like the time Dave floated away
See, my heart is pounding
'Cause this shit never happens to me

I can't breathe right now!

It was so real,
Like I woke up in Wonderland.
All sorta terrifying
I don't wanna be all alone
While I tell this story.
And can anyone tell me why
Y'all sound like Peanuts parents?
Will I ever be coming down?
This is so real
Finally, it's my lucky day
See, my heart is racing
'Cause this shit never happens to me

I can't breathe right now!

You believe me, don't you?
Please believe what I've just said!
See the Dead ain't touring
And this wasn't all in my head.
See, they took me by the hand
And invited me right in.
Then they showed me something
I don't even know where to begin.

Strapped down [to] my bed
Feet cold [and] eyes red
I'm out of my head
Am I alive? Am I dead?
Can't remember what they said
God damn, shit the bed.

Hey ...

Overwhelmed as one would be, placed in my position.
Such a heavy burden now to be the One
Born to bear and bring to all the details of our ending,
To write it down for all the world to see.

But I forgot my pen
Shit the bed again ...
Typical.

Strapped down [to] my bed
Feet cold and eyes red
I'm out of my head
Am I alive? Am I dead?
Sunkist and Sudafed *
Gyroscopes and infrared
Won't help, I'm brain dead
Can't remember what they said
God damn, shit the bed

I can't remember what they said to me
Can't remember what they said to make me out to be the hero
Can't remember what they said
Bob help me!
Can't remember what they said

[We] don't know, [and we] won't know (x12)

God damn, shit the bed!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 74018
United Kingdom
10/07/2007 10:14 PM
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Re: Why I skipped classes in high school and went surfing, and my principal told he wasn't going to let me graduate.
Thread title of the year!!!

:laughman:
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 304696
United States
10/07/2007 10:16 PM
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Re: Why I skipped classes in high school and went surfing, and my principal told he wasn't going to let me graduate.
hf
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 304696
United States
10/09/2007 10:29 PM
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Re: Why I skipped classes in high school and went surfing, and my principal told he wasn't going to let me graduate.

Listen to the tales and romanticize,
How we'd follow the path of the hero.
Boast about the day when the rivers overrun.
How we rise to the height of our halo.

Listen to the tales as we all rationalize
Our way into the arms of the savior,
Feigning all the trials and the tribulations;
None of us have actually been there.
Not like you.

Ignorant siblings in the congregation
Gather around spewing sympathy,
Spare me.
None of them can even hold a candle up to you.
Blinded by choice, these hypocrites won't see.

But, enough about the collective Judas.
Who could deny you were the one who
Illuminated your little piece of the divine?

And this little light of mine, a gift you passed on to me;
I'm gonna let it shine to guide you safely on your way,
Your way home ...

Oh, what are they going to do when the lights go down
Without you to guide them all to Zion?
What are they going to do when the rivers overrun
Other than tremble incessantly?

High is the way, but all eyes are upon the ground.
You were the light and the way they'll only read about.
I only pray, Heaven knows when to lift you out.
Ten thousand days in the fire is long enough;
You're going home.

You're the only one who can hold your head up high,
Shake your fists at the gates saying:
"I've come home now!
Fetch me the spirit, the son, and the father.
Tell them their pillar of faith has ascended.
It's time now!
My time now!
Give me my, give me my wings!"


You are the light and way that they will only read about.
Set as I am in my ways and my arrogance,
(With the) burden of proof tossed upon the believers.
You were my witness, my eyes, my evidence,
Judith Marie, unconditional one.

Daylight dims leaving cold fluorescents.
Difficult to see you in this light.
Please forgive this bold suggestion, but
Should you see your Maker's face tonight,
Look Him in the eye, look Him in the eye, and tell Him:
"I never lived a lie, never took a life,."but surely saved one.
Hallelujah, it's time for you to bring me home
:swimmer1:
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 304696
United States
10/10/2007 04:37 PM
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Re: Why I skipped classes in high school and went surfing, and my principal told he wasn't going to let me graduate.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 304696
United States
10/12/2007 05:08 PM
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Re: Why I skipped classes in high school and went surfing, and my principal told he wasn't going to let me graduate.
skulburn
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 304696
United States
10/19/2007 07:58 PM
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Re: Why I skipped classes in high school and went surfing, and my principal told he wasn't going to let me graduate.
:prodigal:
:guldfish:
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 314691
Puerto Rico
10/19/2007 08:25 PM
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Re: Why I skipped classes in high school and went surfing, and my principal told he wasn't going to let me graduate.
My math teacher was also the coach of the baseball team, he never marked me absent if I told him the surf was up and wouldn't be in for a day or two. It got me in trouble when on the report card my father spotted the difference in days absent from class to class.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 304696
United States
10/19/2007 09:22 PM
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Re: Why I skipped classes in high school and went surfing, and my principal told he wasn't going to let me graduate.
laugh
shameless
User ID: 314715
United Kingdom
10/19/2007 09:40 PM
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Re: Why I skipped classes in high school and went surfing, and my principal told he wasn't going to let me graduate.
unless you sucked his cock, is that the last bit of that sentence ?
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 304696
United States
10/25/2007 10:34 PM
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Re: Why I skipped classes in high school and went surfing, and my principal told he wasn't going to let me graduate.
:reborn::Furya:
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 304696
United States
11/05/2007 08:55 PM
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Re: Why I skipped classes in high school and went surfing, and my principal told he wasn't going to let me graduate.
fisher
Duncan Kunz

User ID: 322042
United States
11/05/2007 09:04 PM
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Re: Why I skipped classes in high school and went surfing, and my principal told he wasn't going to let me graduate.
Good Strong Imagery.

Gotta give this baby five stars.

Where's the EVIDENCE, Jim?
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 304696
United States
11/05/2007 09:07 PM
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Re: Why I skipped classes in high school and went surfing, and my principal told he wasn't going to let me graduate.
Thanks, Captain Kult.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 304696
United States
11/06/2007 07:18 PM
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Re: Why I skipped classes in high school and went surfing, and my principal told he wasn't going to let me graduate.
cheers
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 142537
United States
11/07/2007 12:28 AM
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Re: Why I skipped classes in high school and went surfing, and my principal told he wasn't going to let me graduate.
Believe me kid, if you have been here at GLP for a while you have graduated with more knowledge than any school. And you will get more benefits by not joining the system than if you had joined it with school honors.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 272605
United States
11/07/2007 12:45 AM
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Re: Why I skipped classes in high school and went surfing, and my principal told he wasn't going to let me graduate.

Alrighty, then ... picture this if you will.

10 to 2 AM, X, Yogi DMT, and a box of Krispy Kremes,
in my "need to know" pose, just outside of Area 51
Contemplating the whole "chosen people" thingy
when a flaming stealth banana split the sky
like one would hope but never really expect
to see in a place like this.
Cutting right angle donuts on a dime
and stopping right at my Birkenstocks,
and me yelping...


Holy fucking shit!

Then the X-Files being,
Looking like some kind of blue-green Jackie Chan
with Isabella Rossellini lips, and breath that reeked of
vanilla Chig Champa
Did a slow-mo Matrix descent
Outta the butt end of the banana vessel
And hovered above my bug-eyes, my gaping jaw,
and my sweaty L. Ron Hubbard upper lip,
and all I could think was:
"I hope Uncle Martin here doesn't notice
that I pissed my fuckin' pants."

So light in his way,
Like an apparition, [that]
He had me crying out,
"Fuck me
It's gotta be
the Deadhead Chemistry
The blotter got [right] on top of me
Got me seein' E-motherfuckin'-T!"

And after calming me down
with some orange slices
and some fetal spooning,
E.T. revealed to me his singular purpose.
He said, "You are the Chosen One,
the One who will deliver the message.
A message of hope for those who choose to hear it
and a warning for those who do not."
Me. The Chosen One?
They chose me!!!
And I didn't even graduate from fuckin' high school.


You'd better...
You'd better...
You'd better...
You'd better listen.

Then he looked right through me
With somniferous almond eyes
Don't even know what that means
Must remember to write it down
This is so real
Like the time Dave floated away
See, my heart is pounding
'Cause this shit never happens to me

I can't breathe right now!

It was so real,
Like I woke up in Wonderland.
All sorta terrifying
I don't wanna be all alone
While I tell this story.
And can anyone tell me why
Y'all sound like Peanuts parents?
Will I ever be coming down?
This is so real
Finally, it's my lucky day
See, my heart is racing
'Cause this shit never happens to me

I can't breathe right now!

You believe me, don't you?
Please believe what I've just said!
See the Dead ain't touring
And this wasn't all in my head.
See, they took me by the hand
And invited me right in.
Then they showed me something
I don't even know where to begin.

Strapped down [to] my bed
Feet cold [and] eyes red
I'm out of my head
Am I alive? Am I dead?
Can't remember what they said
God damn, shit the bed.

Hey ...

Overwhelmed as one would be, placed in my position.
Such a heavy burden now to be the One
Born to bear and bring to all the details of our ending,
To write it down for all the world to see.

But I forgot my pen
Shit the bed again ...
Typical.

Strapped down [to] my bed
Feet cold and eyes red
I'm out of my head
Am I alive? Am I dead?
Sunkist and Sudafed *
Gyroscopes and infrared
Won't help, I'm brain dead
Can't remember what they said
God damn, shit the bed

I can't remember what they said to me
Can't remember what they said to make me out to be the hero
Can't remember what they said
Bob help me!
Can't remember what they said

[We] don't know, [and we] won't know (x12)

God damn, shit the bed!
 Quoting: King Neptune





Yeah! I only have a high school degree as well. Maybe the aliens gave you a big white horse pill to not remember everything all at once? Maybe you're just trippin. Who knows? I agree what the last post said. And further more. Joan of Arc is my favorite female saint. She only could sign her name with an, X
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 201921
United States
11/07/2007 12:51 AM
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Re: Why I skipped classes in high school and went surfing, and my principal told he wasn't going to let me graduate.
dork boy eat this, give dunkin kuntz some too shitstream
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 318333
United States
11/07/2007 01:02 AM
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Re: Why I skipped classes in high school and went surfing, and my principal told he wasn't going to let me graduate.
This poser Neptune guy needs to UP his dosage, lol!

That pizza delivery job must be a bitch!
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 304696
United States
11/07/2007 09:26 PM
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Re: Why I skipped classes in high school and went surfing, and my principal told he wasn't going to let me graduate.
This poser Neptune guy needs to UP his dosage, lol!

That pizza delivery job must be a bitch!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 318333


Bitch call me when you graduate from Coast Guard rescue swimmer school, and Navy rescue swimmer school.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 304696
United States
11/07/2007 09:28 PM
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Re: Why I skipped classes in high school and went surfing, and my principal told he wasn't going to let me graduate.
CHOPPER ZIPS MOM-TO-BE TO HOSPITAL
Little Darren Hooper Jr. let out a hardy wail while nursing Saturday morning, solid assurance that a hurricane rescue mission was a success.

Only hours earlier, the newborn's parents and a Coast Guard helicopter crew had raced through the remnants of Hurricane Gordon to reach Albemarle Hospital before he reached them.

They made it with 38 minutes to spare.

``It was highly exciting. It was a jolt,'' said Darren Hooper of Avon, the baby's father.

The rescue operation began Friday afternoon on Hatteras Island, when Darlene Vacha went into labor and was resigned to giving birth at a makeshift labor room at the Hatteras Island Rescue Squad.

The Outer Banks island has no medical facility equipped to deliver a baby, and the hurricane's flood waters had broken through the only road on the island,leaving Hatteras residents stranded.

Hooper said he and his fiancee weren't all that scared when Vacha, 34, went into labor early.

This was Vacha's sixth child and her second with Hooper, 32.

``We just went through this thing 17 months ago, so we were pretty calm,'' the commercial fisherman said.

They drove from Avon through a stretch of N.C. 12 that had disappeared beneath ocean overwash and piles of sand just north of Buxton.

``There were places where you couldn't see the road and just had to drive on the water and sand. You just couldn't tell where the highway was supposed to be,'' Hooper said.

After arriving safely at the rescue station, island doctor Whit Dunkle said Vacha wasn't quite ready to deliver and called the Coast Guard in Elizabeth City. A Coast Guard helicopter crew was dispatched, and arrived at Billy Mitchell Field near Cape Hatteras at 9:35 p.m. The crew was back in the air in 15 minutes, fully expecting to deliver the baby in mid-flight.

``It was different,'' Vacha, an Avon hotel co-manager, said of her second-ever air trip.

``That was pretty exciting,'' Hooper added. ``We were in the fog and we were getting bumped all over.''

Coast Guard flight mechanic Gary Hart and rescue swimmer Shawn R. kept a close eye on the laboring mother while Dunkle monitored her progress.

``The more nervous they got, the more nervous I got,'' Hooper said.

Pilot Dave Gunderson and co-pilot Guy Pearce maneuvered through murky skies to land the helicopter 10:38 p.m. at Albemarle Hospital. Vacha delivered a healthy 7-pound, 5-ounce boy at 11:16.

Gunderson also was at the controls this week during a dramatic Coast Guard rescue of a family whose sailboat was caught in the hurricane's path.

Among the family members was a 4-month-old who went into huge ocean swells with his mother in order to be hoisted aboard the helicopter.

Vacha eagerly expressed gratitude Saturday toward the Coast Guard and Dunkle.

``I'd like to hug all the guys and thank them,'' she said from the hospital, nursing her newborn. ILLUSTRATION: Photo

GARY C. KNAPP

Darlene Vacha holds Darren Hooper Jr. in Albemarle Hospital

Saturday. He was born 38 minutes after his parents arrived at the

hospital by Coast Guard helicopter Friday. The special delivery was

necessary because Hurricane Gordon shut down the roads.


KEYWORDS: HURRICANE GORDON

[link to scholar.lib.vt.edu]
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 304696
United States
11/07/2007 09:29 PM
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Re: Why I skipped classes in high school and went surfing, and my principal told he wasn't going to let me graduate.
In Shawn We Trust

:Potter:
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 304696
United States
11/11/2007 10:06 AM
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Re: Why I skipped classes in high school and went surfing, and my principal told he wasn't going to let me graduate.
:OnlyOne!::saveAlife:
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 304696
United States
11/12/2007 01:56 AM
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Re: Why I skipped classes in high school and went surfing, and my principal told he wasn't going to let me graduate.
:TheHealer:
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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United States
11/15/2007 12:52 PM
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Re: Why I skipped classes in high school and went surfing, and my principal told he wasn't going to let me graduate.
:USAownsCAN:
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 304696
United States
11/15/2007 03:06 PM
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Re: Why I skipped classes in high school and went surfing, and my principal told he wasn't going to let me graduate.
The Chosen One.

It was said you would destroy the Sith, not join them.

This fall His toughest battle will be saving one of His own.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 304696
United States
11/22/2007 11:25 AM
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Re: Why I skipped classes in high school and went surfing, and my principal told he wasn't going to let me graduate.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 304696
United States
11/22/2007 07:13 PM
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Re: Why I skipped classes in high school and went surfing, and my principal told he wasn't going to let me graduate.
He will bring balance to the force, train him.

You keep what you kill.

But which was destroyed, the master, or the apprentice.

You've killed dragons...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 103078
United States
11/22/2007 07:23 PM
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Re: Why I skipped classes in high school and went surfing, and my principal told he wasn't going to let me graduate.
No matter what your excuse. You are an ass and should clean toilets at McDonalds until you die. NO EXCUSES OR COMPLAINING. Otherwise you SHOULD be tasered with extreme predjudice.
Mr. Predictor

User ID: 287257
United States
11/22/2007 07:25 PM

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Re: Why I skipped classes in high school and went surfing, and my principal told he wasn't going to let me graduate.
Bitch call me when you graduate from Coast Guard rescue swimmer school, and Navy rescue swimmer school.
 Quoting: King Neptune


Coast Guard rescue swimmer school !!
holy shit ,,, that is DAMN impressive
:6473madburger:

"The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries." - Winston Churchill
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 114296
United States
11/22/2007 07:28 PM
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Re: Why I skipped classes in high school and went surfing, and my principal told he wasn't going to let me graduate.
rok it's godzirzaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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