Godlike Productions - Conspiracy Forum
Users Online Now: 2,877 (Who's On?)Visitors Today: 1,350,653
Pageviews Today: 1,744,282Threads Today: 403Posts Today: 6,306
10:37 AM


Rate this Thread

Absolute BS Crap Reasonable Nice Amazing
 

I want to join the Illuminati

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 289692
United States
10/16/2007 07:45 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
I want to join the Illuminati
How do I join? I want to be rich and wear creepy robes and do weird ceremonies and rituals with old white men in places sheeple can't go to. Any way to do this? I don't have to let the guys screw me do I? I don't want to do any of the weird sex stuff, I just want to do creepy chants and get lots of money and jewelery with odd occult symbols so I can go outside and flaunt it and laugh inside knowing no one will know that my secret serpent ring is actually a secret bond with my reptilian brethren. I think I'd fit in with reptiles more than humans, my tongue flicks out a lot, I have snakes for pets, and I collect artwork of dragons cuz I think they're cool.

So what are my chances of getting in?
fërú.

User ID: 310524
Mexico
10/16/2007 07:46 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I want to join the Illuminati
zzipoo, ninguna, cero, none
  Enki was the real engineer of the human race. He was the Sumerian god of science, engineering, magic, strategy, music, and lovemaking
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 274005
United Kingdom
10/16/2007 07:47 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I want to join the Illuminati
Well, for a start. You're human. So no chance.

5a lol
Duncan Kunz

User ID: 312881
United States
10/16/2007 07:48 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I want to join the Illuminati
Oh, no; it's not that hard to get in. Fifth Instar recruited me, and I love it! Check with him and tell him I'd be happy to give you a good recommendation!
Where's the EVIDENCE, Jim?
SHRModerator
Forum Administrator

10/16/2007 07:49 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I want to join the Illuminati
Oooooooohhh, when you get in tell us the secret handshake! that would be killer........;)
____________________________________________________
E-mail anytime SHRGLP@Yahoo.com
Inquiring about a ban?, include the IP address found here. [link to www.showmemyip.com]

Ooooh, see the fire is sweepin' Our very streets today...
Burns like a red coal carpet, Mad bulls lost the way...
War, children, it's just a shot away...it's just a shot away....
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 313313
United States
10/16/2007 07:51 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I want to join the Illuminati
Me too!

Working on behalf of the Great White Brotherhood is getting me nowhere fast!

Man cannot live by principles alone!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 103782
United States
10/16/2007 07:52 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I want to join the Illuminati
bonghit
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 289692
United States
10/16/2007 07:53 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I want to join the Illuminati
Me too!

Working on behalf of the Great White Brotherhood is getting me nowhere fast!

Man cannot live by principles alone!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 313313




Yeah, I used to be one of those new agers. Then when nesara failed to pass for the 500th time, I finally lost patience, and now I want revenge. I hope that if I join the Illuminati I can gather up their resources and form my own mercenary group, which will be named "DragonStorm". Then I will betray the Illuminati and then start a direct assault on the Galactic Federation and take Christ Michael prisoner. Then the real fun begins...
idol_harobed

User ID: 297864
Brazil
10/16/2007 07:57 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I want to join the Illuminati
Oooooooohhh, when you get in tell us the secret handshake! that would be killer........;)
 Quoting: SHR


Much like the common handshake, but tapping the thumb thrice on the base of the thumb of the brother (one of the masonic handshakes).

5a
I am what I read.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 312079
Canada
10/16/2007 07:59 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I want to join the Illuminati
2% of the people own 90% of the wealth. there's your illuminati
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 289692
United States
10/16/2007 08:00 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I want to join the Illuminati
Well, for a start. You're human. So no chance.

5a lol
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 274005



But I can change, I flick my tongue a lot, and David Icke supporters say that's a sign of being a reptilian, so I should be able to join since I'm a reptile at heart.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 313313
United States
10/16/2007 08:02 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I want to join the Illuminati
Well, for a start. You're human. So no chance.

5a lol



But I can change, I flick my tongue a lot, and David Icke supporters say that's a sign of being a reptilian, so I should be able to join since I'm a reptile at heart.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 289692


I thought it was the slit pupils...I can change myself into a cat anytime I want.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 299246
United Kingdom
10/16/2007 08:02 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I want to join the Illuminati
wannabees and poseurs. why not just pin a patch on your jacket and keep coy.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 228268
United States
10/16/2007 08:02 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I want to join the Illuminati
mmmmmm...I wouldn't say now is the best time to want to join...mabye years ago, but to join now would just be setting yourself up for a real disappointment. Better just to learn to love everyone and everything for who or whatever they are.
SHRModerator
Forum Administrator

10/16/2007 08:05 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I want to join the Illuminati
Oooooooohhh, when you get in tell us the secret handshake! that would be killer........;)


Much like the common handshake, but tapping the thumb thrice on the base of the thumb of the brother (one of the masonic handshakes).

5a
 Quoting: idol_harobed

Thanks Idol! That might get me part way there to an Illuminatti, maybe just Ill, but still good to know.....;)
____________________________________________________
E-mail anytime SHRGLP@Yahoo.com
Inquiring about a ban?, include the IP address found here. [link to www.showmemyip.com]

Ooooh, see the fire is sweepin' Our very streets today...
Burns like a red coal carpet, Mad bulls lost the way...
War, children, it's just a shot away...it's just a shot away....
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 313293
United States
10/16/2007 08:05 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I want to join the Illuminati
I hear the swag from the yearly meeting is bitchin. If you get in, how about regifting to me what you don't want?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 304493
United States
10/16/2007 08:06 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I want to join the Illuminati
You don't find them. They find you.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 313325
United States
10/16/2007 08:10 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I want to join the Illuminati
It's easy!

First you need to be a super protestant.

Next you go to Yale.

Then you suck as much dick as possible to get your Skull & Bones invite.

Then you get fucked by all the bonesmen, and maybe if you seem easy to manipulate and harbor some deep dark blackmailable secret they'll let you in.

Enjoy!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 304493
United States
10/16/2007 08:13 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I want to join the Illuminati
It's easy!

First you need to be a super protestant.

Next you go to Yale.

Then you suck as much dick as possible to get your Skull & Bones invite.

Then you get fucked by all the bonesmen, and maybe if you seem easy to manipulate and harbor some deep dark blackmailable secret they'll let you in.

Enjoy!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 313325



Technically, you get boned by all the Bonesmen, but, point well taken.
Babe in a Bunker

User ID: 312945
United States
10/16/2007 08:14 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I want to join the Illuminati
I hear the swag from the yearly meeting is bitchin. If you get in, how about regifting to me what you don't want?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 313293


They have icecream socials every other month, and a biannual Illuminati picnic. Just look for the flyers, which are cleverly hidden in your local newspaper (hint, think OLD JEWS), figure out where it's happening, go there, be friendly and I'm sure one of our helpful Illuminati elders will be more than happy to guide you through the initiation process. Good luck.

Oh, and the yearly meeting swag kicks ass.
Well it seems so real I can see it
And it seems so real I can feel it
And it seems so real I can taste it
And it seems so real I can hear it
So why can't I touch it?
So why can't I touch it?


Twatter: [link to twitter.com]
ORANGE INSTITUTE

User ID: 276480
United States
10/16/2007 08:17 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I want to join the Illuminati
How do I join? I want to be rich and wear creepy robes and do weird ceremonies and rituals with old white men in places sheeple can't go to. Any way to do this? I don't have to let the guys screw me do I? I don't want to do any of the weird sex stuff, I just want to do creepy chants and get lots of money and jewelery with odd occult symbols so I can go outside and flaunt it and laugh inside knowing no one will know that my secret serpent ring is actually a secret bond with my reptilian brethren. I think I'd fit in with reptiles more than humans, my tongue flicks out a lot, I have snakes for pets, and I collect artwork of dragons cuz I think they're cool.

So what are my chances of getting in?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 289692

Well, if you are able to disociate {Multiple Personality Disorder} to cope with the horrific physical torture, mind-altering drugs and complete human humiliation...

However, only those that are opposed to this can be chosen.
Love U.S., the law.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 255902
United States
10/16/2007 08:22 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I want to join the Illuminati
join Illuminati isnt
better is join taleban

taleban leader will promise you 72 virgin on heaven
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 313293
United States
10/16/2007 08:24 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I want to join the Illuminati
I hear the swag from the yearly meeting is bitchin. If you get in, how about regifting to me what you don't want?


They have icecream socials every other month, and a biannual Illuminati picnic. Just look for the flyers, which are cleverly hidden in your local newspaper (hint, think OLD JEWS), figure out where it's happening, go there, be friendly and I'm sure one of our helpful Illuminati elders will be more than happy to guide you through the initiation process. Good luck.

Oh, and the yearly meeting swag kicks ass.
 Quoting: Babe in a Bunker


The last time I went to a party like the one you described my butt hurt for a week.
ORANGE INSTITUTE

User ID: 276480
United States
10/16/2007 08:26 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I want to join the Illuminati
How do I join? I want to be rich and wear creepy robes and do weird ceremonies and rituals with old white men in places sheeple can't go to. Any way to do this? I don't have to let the guys screw me do I? I don't want to do any of the weird sex stuff, I just want to do creepy chants and get lots of money and jewelery with odd occult symbols so I can go outside and flaunt it and laugh inside knowing no one will know that my secret serpent ring is actually a secret bond with my reptilian brethren. I think I'd fit in with reptiles more than humans, my tongue flicks out a lot, I have snakes for pets, and I collect artwork of dragons cuz I think they're cool.

So what are my chances of getting in?

Well, if you are able to disociate {Multiple Personality Disorder} to cope with the horrific physical torture, mind-altering drugs and complete human humiliation...

However, only those that are opposed to this can be chosen.
 Quoting: ORANGE INSTITUTE

They tried to get me to be a member...
Love U.S., the law.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 313318
United States
10/16/2007 08:58 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I want to join the Illuminati
You need to know one to be one.
 Quoting: idol_harobed

More than that 300 years of relatives, bloodlines.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 313292
United Kingdom
10/16/2007 08:59 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I want to join the Illuminati
Why?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 313318
United States
10/16/2007 09:00 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I want to join the Illuminati
Why do you want to be a Luciferian ?

Do you have anything better to do with your life ?

I don't do much, but it is better than destroying the planet and all society. I do whatever I want to do.
ORANGE INSTITUTE

User ID: 276480
United States
10/16/2007 09:00 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I want to join the Illuminati
You need to know one to be one.

More than that 300 years of relatives, bloodlines.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 313318

Yes.
Love U.S., the law.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 312833
United States
10/16/2007 09:02 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I want to join the Illuminati
Ask Nancy....she would know all about getting in at the lower NWO lackie level.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 313351
United States
10/16/2007 09:24 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I want to join the Illuminati
You're ALREADY a member, as we all are.

Just try leaving...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 306381
Australia
10/16/2007 09:45 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I want to join the Illuminati
They will be toast really soon now. The pirates that have hijacked all the Commonwealth countries (US/UK/AUS/Canada), thieved, murdered and bullied, shall be heading to a World Court in Europe really soon now..

News








We're dropping truth bombs like it's the end of days!