I want to join the Illuminati

Me too!

Working on behalf of the Great White Brotherhood is getting me nowhere fast!

Man cannot live by principles alone!

Oooooooohhh, when you get in tell us the secret handshake! that would be killer........;)

Well, for a start. You're human. So no chance.

Well, for a start. You're human. So no chance.





But I can change, I flick my tongue a lot, and David Icke supporters say that's a sign of being a reptilian, so I should be able to join since I'm a reptile at heart.

Oooooooohhh, when you get in tell us the secret handshake! that would be killer........;)


Much like the common handshake, but tapping the thumb thrice on the base of the thumb of the brother (one of the masonic handshakes).

It's easy!

First you need to be a super protestant.

Next you go to Yale.

Then you suck as much dick as possible to get your Skull & Bones invite.

Then you get fucked by all the bonesmen, and maybe if you seem easy to manipulate and harbor some deep dark blackmailable secret they'll let you in.

Enjoy!

I hear the swag from the yearly meeting is bitchin. If you get in, how about regifting to me what you don't want?

How do I join? I want to be rich and wear creepy robes and do weird ceremonies and rituals with old white men in places sheeple can't go to. Any way to do this? I don't have to let the guys screw me do I? I don't want to do any of the weird sex stuff, I just want to do creepy chants and get lots of money and jewelery with odd occult symbols so I can go outside and flaunt it and laugh inside knowing no one will know that my secret serpent ring is actually a secret bond with my reptilian brethren. I think I'd fit in with reptiles more than humans, my tongue flicks out a lot, I have snakes for pets, and I collect artwork of dragons cuz I think they're cool.

So what are my chances of getting in?

I hear the swag from the yearly meeting is bitchin. If you get in, how about regifting to me what you don't want?


They have icecream socials every other month, and a biannual Illuminati picnic. Just look for the flyers, which are cleverly hidden in your local newspaper (hint, think OLD JEWS), figure out where it's happening, go there, be friendly and I'm sure one of our helpful Illuminati elders will be more than happy to guide you through the initiation process. Good luck.

Oh, and the yearly meeting swag kicks ass.

How do I join? I want to be rich and wear creepy robes and do weird ceremonies and rituals with old white men in places sheeple can't go to. Any way to do this? I don't have to let the guys screw me do I? I don't want to do any of the weird sex stuff, I just want to do creepy chants and get lots of money and jewelery with odd occult symbols so I can go outside and flaunt it and laugh inside knowing no one will know that my secret serpent ring is actually a secret bond with my reptilian brethren. I think I'd fit in with reptiles more than humans, my tongue flicks out a lot, I have snakes for pets, and I collect artwork of dragons cuz I think they're cool.

So what are my chances of getting in?

Well, if you are able to disociate {Multiple Personality Disorder} to cope with the horrific physical torture, mind-altering drugs and complete human humiliation...

However, only those that are opposed to this can be chosen.

You need to know one to be one.

You need to know one to be one.

More than that 300 years of relatives, bloodlines.