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BREAKING: World pin shortage critical

 
Anonymous Coward
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02/17/2013 11:50 AM
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Re: BREAKING: World pin shortage critical
bsflag
Anonymous Coward
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02/17/2013 12:06 PM
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Re: BREAKING: World pin shortage critical
amazingly gay.
Anonymous Coward
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02/17/2013 12:20 PM
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Re: BREAKING: World pin shortage critical
next to be on the shortage list :

staples

paperclips

hole punchers ohyeah
Anonymous Coward
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02/17/2013 12:20 PM
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Re: BREAKING: World pin shortage critical
clappa
IRQ_1

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02/17/2013 12:27 PM
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Re: BREAKING: World pin shortage critical
I blame the pin preppers.
goaway
Jack of all trades, master of none.
We are all the result of our past choices meeting the future.
"shall not be infringed."
TheAmericanCancerSoci​etySucks

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02/17/2013 12:34 PM
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Re: BREAKING: World pin shortage critical
Someone needs to hijack this thread with nonpinned threads before it is too late!!

PS. You can't eat pins!

5a
Author, inventor, disorganizer. Let's disorganize the American Cancer Society.
Integrity101

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02/17/2013 12:47 PM

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scared
Anonymous Coward
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02/17/2013 12:51 PM
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Re: BREAKING: World pin shortage critical
This is shocking for me. I had a vision last night about this very thing and was told to come here and post it. To see that someone also received this vision is amazing to me.

It's vital that all of us saved people understand.




.
ladyannie2009

User ID: 24291496
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02/17/2013 01:05 PM

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Re: BREAKING: World pin shortage critical
TPTB (the pins that be) are moving forward with their
pin-a-cide agenda....a world-wide population reduction.

So it begins.......... gasp



"the truth will stand up, when nothing else will"
- annie's mom

"When a great ship is in harbor and moored, it is safe, there can be no doubt. But that is not what great ships are built for."
- Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes
SmuRidley

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02/17/2013 01:18 PM
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Re: BREAKING: World pin shortage critical
Ban all pins!
I don't believe fate befalls us however we act, only unless we act.
Anonymous Coward
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Romania
02/17/2013 01:25 PM
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Idol1
Waterbug

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02/17/2013 01:49 PM

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shitgotreal
pinned
Mihail

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02/17/2013 01:57 PM
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shitgotreal
pinned
 Quoting: Waterbug


Roger that!
You know me.
Sledster

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02/17/2013 02:21 PM

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Re: BREAKING: World pin shortage critical
This should be Super Pinned.
I'm tired of waiting, somebody push the damn button already!

Please ignore the German flag, I am an American.

Keep your 72 virgins, give me one old biker chick.
Esoteric Morgan
...in awe of many things

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02/17/2013 02:26 PM

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Re: BREAKING: World pin shortage critical
OMG! I totally missed this. I have a few here; am I in danger, or something? Does anyone know if they're going door to door searching?

Are sticky notes safe to have, or do I have to hide them also?


damned

Last Edited by Esoteric Morgan on 02/17/2013 02:32 PM
Anonymous Coward
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02/17/2013 02:30 PM
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clappa
Esoteric Morgan
...in awe of many things

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02/17/2013 02:35 PM

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Re: BREAKING: World pin shortage critical
we need to find $100,000,000.00 in the federal budget to study this situation and find out why and how this was allowed to happen

so that it can be studied and reviewed over and over and those doing the reviewing can take weekend trips together to the 5 star hotels and get massages and all the perks that they will need to take away the stress from this tedious time consuming study and its ramifications to the worldwide corporations

all joking aside, don't be surprised if someone in the House or Senate reads this article and thinks it is the real deal, and wants to step up to the plate and find a solution .......they are they stupid !!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 728672


lmao

oh, BTW, Tomatoes in, or out???

hiding
ladyannie2009

User ID: 24291496
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02/17/2013 02:57 PM

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Re: BREAKING: World pin shortage critical

we need to find $100,000,000.00 in the federal budget to study this situation and find out why and how this was allowed to happen

so that it can be studied and reviewed over and over and those doing the reviewing can take weekend trips together to the 5 star hotels and get massages and all the perks that they will need to take away the stress from this tedious time consuming study and its ramifications to the worldwide corporations

all joking aside, don't be surprised if someone in the House or Senate reads this article and thinks it is the real deal, and wants to step up to the plate and find a solution .......they are they stupid !!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 728672




lolsign..... it's all ~very~ possible... chuckle



<snipped>

1. Museum Where Neon Signs Go to Die – $1.8 Million

Did you ever wonder where the flashy and colorful signs in Las Vegas go when they die? The city of Las Vegas has received a $5.2 million federal grant to build the Neon Boneyard Park and Museum, including $1.8 million in 2010.

2. “Free” Grateful Dead Archive – $615,000

Grateful Dead chose a public institution to archive the band‘s memorabilia &#8213;because the whole idea of it being public and free was important to them,&#8214; yet taxpayers are paying $615,000 to make the band‘s archives &#8213; free and &#8213;public. Where? In Santa Cruz, California, of course.

3. Poems in Zoos – $997,766

Our nation currently faces many challenges; a shortage of poetry in our nation‘s zoos, however, is rarely cited as one of them. A federal grant program has directed a million dollars from the public coffers to infuse zoos around the United States with snippets of poetry.

4. “Critter Crossing” – $150,000

The Monkton, Vermont Conservation Commission received $150,000 in federal grant money to build a critter crossing, to save the lives of thousands of migrating salamanders and other amphibians that would otherwise be slaughtered by vehicle traffic on a major roadway.

5. Internet Dating Study – $239,100

The National Science Foundation directed nearly a quarter million dollars to a Stanford University professor‘s study of how Americans use the Internet to find love.

6. Census Super Bowl Commercial Too Ironic to be Understood – $2.5 Million

U.S. taxpayers watched their money vanish quicker at the Super Bowl than those who bet on Peyton Manning and the Indianapolis Colts to win the game. The U.S. Census Bureau lost a $2.5 million bet when its &#8213;Snapshot of Americ ad tanked when it ran during a commercial break in the third quarter. Media critics agreed the multi-million dollar advertisement ranked as one of the worst during the Super Bowl.

7. Studying Male Prostitutes in Vietnam – $442,340

The National Institutes of Health (NIH) spent nearly $442,340 million to study the number of male 124 prostitutes in Vietnam and their social setting.

8. Zoo Receives Federal Funding to Develop Online Video Game, “Wolfquest&#8223; – $609,160

The National Science Foundation (NSF) awarded over $600,000 to the Minnesota Zoo to create a wolf avata video game called WolfQuest

9. Teaching South African Men How to Wash Their Genitalia – $823,200

The National Institutes of Health (NIH) secured a grant for $800,000 in stimulus funds to study the effects of a genital-washing program in Orange Farm, South Africa. Investigators will attempt to teach uncircumcised African men how to wash their genitals after having sex and hope doing so will prevent the spread of HIV/AIDS.

10. Gold-Plated Potties in the Woods – $1.49 Million

The Denali National Park in Alaska recently built new restrooms at the Teklanika campground to replace chemical toilets with a sweet smelling toilet facility at a cost of nearly $1.5 million to taxpayers. The park will be spending more than $41,000 to replace each of the 36 toilets.

.....many more examples at link thumbs


[link to www.economiccollapse.net]
"the truth will stand up, when nothing else will"
- annie's mom

"When a great ship is in harbor and moored, it is safe, there can be no doubt. But that is not what great ships are built for."
- Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 34418461
02/17/2013 03:56 PM
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Re: BREAKING: World pin shortage critical
Today thumbtack manufacturers released an emergency notice to suppliers. Die to the rampant and excessive use of thumbtacks they have run short of supply.

This is expected to hit the buisiness world hard as they rely on these on a daily basis for things as trivial as whats for lunch all the way up to which company will be bought out next. CEO of Porsche claimed "Well I never really liked VWs but they were the only one still on my wall of things to buy. My secretary stole the rest of my tacks."

Even the press has had to scale back as they have less reminders as to what is going on in the news. One reporter states "Well I only had one tack left so I decided to pick a random story and I ended up with that dumb fire in California. I was really hoping to make Britney Spears the front page story today."

When asked why there was such a spike Qingdao Ant Hardware Manufacturing Co Ltd., a maker of thumbtacks and pins, president Tan Dong replied "We believe this has been due to an overreaction as of late in certain niche websites to certain world events. They seem to think that the world is about to collapse from some Cuban financial ring who has paid off Bush to cover up its roll in 9/11 by setting these mass fires in California to kill as many homosexuals as possible. Its all absured to me but just look for yourself."

True as told, when reviewing conspiracy type websites like Godlike Productions, one can see an incredible glut of pins on the website. In an attempt to get to the bottom of this we tracked the website owner to a small trailer home on the outskirts of Las Vegas who goes by the online handle of Trinity. Unfortunately we were only able to get as ar as the crude electric fence. A man appeared at the door wearing what appeared to be a tinfoil hat afrobut made no reply to our repeated questions and soon disappeared again.

Experts say that if this continues, the world could begin to see an increased level of economic slowdown due to the populace forgetting simple things like paying bills. The entertainment industry is also expected to see a downturn as less and less people will remember about that great new movie or "the game".

We will continue to attemp to keep you updated on this developing story assuming we don't run out of thumbtacks ourselves.
 Quoting: CNN 195948



You need a job at the Onion! Awesome reporting - thank you!
afroafroafroafroafroafroafroafro
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 34418461
02/17/2013 04:02 PM
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Re: BREAKING: World pin shortage critical
What makes you people think this is a fucking JOKE?

Pin shortages can strike the the econobunny at its very heart. Just last year a shortage of pins caused a train derailment in Chicago. Livestock was runnig amuck in the streets and womans hair was on fire.

No, if you all had any sense at all you would be at Staples right now stocking up on pins before the price goes up any higher. Walstreet analist Mark Mark estimates that the price of pins could exceed $105 per barrel - by the end of the decade. He also recomended real estate BEFORE it went down. "Mark my words" said Mark,"the pin shortage will get much worst before it gets much worse".

Meanwhile back at The Offence Department, not one to pin his hopes on an early retirement, Marine GeneraL May Mymm began putting the entire Corp on high alert. Saying that the shortage had grave internationl implications. One measure already in place is a network of emergency pin distribution centers set up in all 49 States. Vermont is said to have its own supply if indeed rationing becomes a reality.

Full report on tomorrows evening news along with THE difinative Britny Spears update.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 208180



I live in Illinois and I remember this! The train derailment was horrible. The woman with the hair, she was a friend, of a friend's cousin! It was bad times. I am one of those that learned the lesson, I stock up on pins. I have a few feet reserved in the basement with a huge shelving unit. I have enough pins saved up for about two years now.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 34418461
02/17/2013 04:05 PM
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Re: BREAKING: World pin shortage critical
lmao

oh, BTW, Tomatoes in, or out???

hiding
 Quoting: Esoteric Morgan


IN
pump2pump2pump2
Éireann
Eisteacht le gra!

User ID: 1248017
United States
02/17/2013 04:52 PM

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Re: BREAKING: World pin shortage critical
Hilarious, OP :)

yay
Éireann~

Eisteacht le gra! ~ArunaLuna (Translation from Gaelic: "Listen to Love!")

"And I sincerely believe, with you, that banking establishments are more dangerous than standing armies; and that the principle of spending money to be paid by posterity, under the name of funding, is but swindling futurity on a large scale." - Thomas Jefferson, from a Letter to John Taylor written in 1816

"Unfortunately, it is in the nature of man to tinker - even with immutable truth. Thus, we must be ever vigilant... - James Munford

“It is a sad fate for a man to die too well known to everybody else, and still unknown to himself.” - Francis Bacon

"Better the illusions that exalt us than ten thousand truths" - Aleksander Pushkin
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I do not give negative Karma. I believe that all opinions are worthy of debate and discussion. Free speech is essential to the growth and advancement of each individual and all of Humankind.
TheAmericanCancerSoci​etySucks

User ID: 34613903
United States
02/18/2013 12:02 AM
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Re: BREAKING: World pin shortage critical

we need to find $100,000,000.00 in the federal budget to study this situation and find out why and how this was allowed to happen

so that it can be studied and reviewed over and over and those doing the reviewing can take weekend trips together to the 5 star hotels and get massages and all the perks that they will need to take away the stress from this tedious time consuming study and its ramifications to the worldwide corporations

all joking aside, don't be surprised if someone in the House or Senate reads this article and thinks it is the real deal, and wants to step up to the plate and find a solution .......they are they stupid !!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 728672




lolsign..... it's all ~very~ possible... chuckle



<snipped>

1. Museum Where Neon Signs Go to Die – $1.8 Million

Did you ever wonder where the flashy and colorful signs in Las Vegas go when they die? The city of Las Vegas has received a $5.2 million federal grant to build the Neon Boneyard Park and Museum, including $1.8 million in 2010.

2. “Free” Grateful Dead Archive – $615,000

Grateful Dead chose a public institution to archive the band‘s memorabilia &#8213;because the whole idea of it being public and free was important to them,&#8214; yet taxpayers are paying $615,000 to make the band‘s archives &#8213; free and &#8213;public. Where? In Santa Cruz, California, of course.

3. Poems in Zoos – $997,766

Our nation currently faces many challenges; a shortage of poetry in our nation‘s zoos, however, is rarely cited as one of them. A federal grant program has directed a million dollars from the public coffers to infuse zoos around the United States with snippets of poetry.

4. “Critter Crossing” – $150,000

The Monkton, Vermont Conservation Commission received $150,000 in federal grant money to build a critter crossing, to save the lives of thousands of migrating salamanders and other amphibians that would otherwise be slaughtered by vehicle traffic on a major roadway.

5. Internet Dating Study – $239,100

The National Science Foundation directed nearly a quarter million dollars to a Stanford University professor‘s study of how Americans use the Internet to find love.

6. Census Super Bowl Commercial Too Ironic to be Understood – $2.5 Million

U.S. taxpayers watched their money vanish quicker at the Super Bowl than those who bet on Peyton Manning and the Indianapolis Colts to win the game. The U.S. Census Bureau lost a $2.5 million bet when its &#8213;Snapshot of Americ ad tanked when it ran during a commercial break in the third quarter. Media critics agreed the multi-million dollar advertisement ranked as one of the worst during the Super Bowl.

7. Studying Male Prostitutes in Vietnam – $442,340

The National Institutes of Health (NIH) spent nearly $442,340 million to study the number of male 124 prostitutes in Vietnam and their social setting.

8. Zoo Receives Federal Funding to Develop Online Video Game, “Wolfquest&#8223; – $609,160

The National Science Foundation (NSF) awarded over $600,000 to the Minnesota Zoo to create a wolf avata video game called WolfQuest

9. Teaching South African Men How to Wash Their Genitalia – $823,200

The National Institutes of Health (NIH) secured a grant for $800,000 in stimulus funds to study the effects of a genital-washing program in Orange Farm, South Africa. Investigators will attempt to teach uncircumcised African men how to wash their genitals after having sex and hope doing so will prevent the spread of HIV/AIDS.

10. Gold-Plated Potties in the Woods – $1.49 Million

The Denali National Park in Alaska recently built new restrooms at the Teklanika campground to replace chemical toilets with a sweet smelling toilet facility at a cost of nearly $1.5 million to taxpayers. The park will be spending more than $41,000 to replace each of the 36 toilets.

.....many more examples at link thumbs


[link to www.economiccollapse.net]
 Quoting: Esoteric Morgan


536 crooks and thieves between the House Senate and WH.
Author, inventor, disorganizer. Let's disorganize the American Cancer Society.
PresidentCamacho
The Future Is A No Brainer

User ID: 25454873
United States
12/11/2013 11:46 PM

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Re: BREAKING: World pin shortage critical
what's with all the drivel tonight
The years passed, mankind became stupider at a frightening rate. Some had high hopes the genetic engineering would correct this trend in evolution, but sadly the greatest minds and resources where focused on conquering hair loss and prolonging erections. ~ Narrator (Idiocracy)

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