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Single men: Do not get married.

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 306564
United Kingdom
11/23/2007 02:14 PM
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Single men: Do not get married.
I am a married man.
Yes, I have children.
I have been married for nearly 10 years.

If you read the advice in books, online, even here at GLP, you will see the common trend is that the problems in marriage are due to the man. He became a slob. He doesn't help around the house. He's a child. Etc.

The truth is that 50% of humans on this planet are women and the honest fact is that while many intelligent, thinking and honest women see the problems for what they are, the majority, the rest, won't. We know this because of the truth about marriage.

And having children.

So here's the deal. Here's what you won't hear or read.

The honest truth is that marriage is hell. There are a few good marriages, but almost always one of the partners suffers. Sometimes it's the woman. Sometimes it's the man. One of the partners will be happy, the other will be making do with what they have, getting by, putting up with the situation.

There is more to it though. It's to do with the fact that marriage does not fit either male nor female biology or psychology. Women, do need the security of a permanent relationship. They need a nest because yes, women become mothers. It's that simple. Forget feminism and political correctness, it's that simple.

Men need sex. Men are driven to plant their seed and are driven to fulfill their sexual needs.

Women may like sex. Women can enjoy sex. But women are not driven by sex to the degree that men are. Yes, there is a sex drive in women, but it's very far removed from the intensity of the male sex drive. And here is the key: In women, sex is linked to many other things in their lives. Sex is a part of acquiring the nest. Sex is a part of winning the male. So single women have a far greater sex drive than women who are secure in a relationship.

And this is where marriage screws men. The social security and comfort of marriage provides the woman with what she needs. And her sex drive plummets. It will pick up again when she wants to fall pregnant, but then once that psychological need is fulfilled and she has a full nest, the sex drive all but disappears.

That's nature.
That's the way the women are.
It's the correct way for women to be because it's what made us the most successful species on the planet.

Men have a constant and consistent sex drive. The man quite rightly expects to maintain a sex life in marriage. If the truth be told, women use and men fall for sex as a part of the reason to get married. Without the sex part, the romance, marriage is nothing more than a close friendship. Sex is integral to the difference between a friendship and a relationship and as such, sex is integral to the reasons to get married.

However, while the woman settles into the comfortable married life, secure in her relationship, the men suddenly finds that the fox in the bedroom is now a bitch in the kitchen. Hot sex is swapped for taking out the garbage, sexy lingerie becomes track suit bottoms and "comfortable" clothes, carrying her to the bedroom becomes pleading a resentful wife for 5 minutes of open legs.

The truth is that while your desire for your hot little princess peaks, now that she's yours forever more, her goal of securing permanence with her prince has been achieved.

Women need a reason to have sex, men just need an opportunity to.

When married men talk honestly, very few are sexually fulfilled. Most resentfully work around not getting enough and a roving eye is quickly followed by guilt and regret. Many struggle valiantly to resist temptation and blame themselves for their desires. Women, the popular press and the "self help" books, not to mention the psychologists and councellors put equal "blame" on both men and women for this situation, construing all manner of reason why the man may have offended the woman into losing her libido.

But the truth is simply that it's the natural progression of a woman's sex drive. There is nothing wrong with her, nor did the man commit some terrible crimes against the female. The man simply retained his sex drive, she lost hers.

As nature dictates.

So what is wrong? Marriage is wrong. Marriage is a gaol for male libido. If men could be sexually fulfilled, so many problems would disappear. But to expect a wife with little to no sex drive to fulfill those needs is also unfair to her. It's against her nature.

The truth is that we are naturally predisposed to many women for each man. But in the modern world this is quite impossible given the equal numbers of men and women.

The trauma runs deeply.

I asked my wife the other day how often she thinks we have sex. That's easy, she said. At least once or twice a week. And so the pollsters get their information. By asking both men and women.

However, to be completely impartial, what she didn't know is that I had kept a sex diary. For the past 8 months I had recorded every time we did it. It wasn't a big diary.

I figured it was once every two or three months.

The truth is about once every 3 to 4 weeks. However, over a previous 3 year period I was able to work out that although that is the average, gaps of several months between sex are not unusual.

Yet my wife thinks that we do it several times a week. "Except recently", she added, clearly going back mentally over the past few months.

There are many reasons, of course, that women give for this impasse. Tiredness is the most popular. But of course, when she was still dating you, that was never an issue. Tired or not, she want you big boy.

The truth is that most women simply don't know why their sex drive dropped off, are alarmed by it and, humans being humans, they look for reasons other than themselves. And, of course, they think that your sex life is better than it really is, thereby denying part of the problem.

During their honest moments, most men admit to simply being resigned to their predicament. Children are so precious to their parents that they go a long way to compensating for the lack of sex. But that constant gnawing is there. The need is there. Day by day, night by night, that need for sex persists.

The men become resenttful, cranky and short tempered. The women respond, fight back, become tearful and insecure. This reduces the amount of sex, making the problems worse.

In the end, the only way that a marriage can survive is for the man to give up on sex entirely. The woman will never raise her game in a sustained manner because that requires constant motivation. It takes energy. So it's down to the man to work around his natural desires, instincts and experience of the world.

I.e. Marriage makes for very unhappy men. No-one is to blame. It's the rules of marriage itself that's wrong. Marriage is to blame. Marriage is an ill-fitting shoe for both pairs of feet.

The only real solution is for society to change the marriage rules. Marriage must be seen for what it is, and married men should be encouraged and advised to use professional sex workers. Having an affair is not an option. It's an emotional bond unfair on all three parties. What's in short supply is sex for men, not relationships or emotions.

Women who are sex workers have their motivation, their reason, for sex: Money. Therefore they can supply sex and thanks to th wonders of a woman's body, they can supply lots of it. They can supply enough for many men.

This is the only way to balance the needs of both sexes with the concept of marriage.

However, as this is unlikely to be achieved, the best solution for men is to understand fully what they give up when they marry. Everyone hopes and believes that they will be different, but the truth is that most failed marriages were started by two people who thought that their marriage was different.

It took us millions of years to evolve to where we are today. You simply cannot change human nature, the product of that long evolution. Neither should we need to.

The rules are at fault. Let's change to rules to fit our needs, rather than trying to change to fit the rules.

Until then, the truth is that married men are unhappy men.
HardTruth

User ID: 330522
United States
11/23/2007 02:26 PM
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Re: Single men: Do not get married.
I am a married man.
Yes, I have children.
I have been married for nearly 10 years.

If you read the advice in books, online, even here at GLP, you will see the common trend is that the problems in marriage are due to the man. He became a slob. He doesn't help around the house. He's a child. Etc.

The truth is that 50% of humans on this planet are women and the honest fact is that while many intelligent, thinking and honest women see the problems for what they are, the majority, the rest, won't. We know this because of the truth about marriage.

And having children.

So here's the deal. Here's what you won't hear or read.

The honest truth is that marriage is hell. There are a few good marriages, but almost always one of the partners suffers. Sometimes it's the woman. Sometimes it's the man. One of the partners will be happy, the other will be making do with what they have, getting by, putting up with the situation.

There is more to it though. It's to do with the fact that marriage does not fit either male nor female biology or psychology. Women, do need the security of a permanent relationship. They need a nest because yes, women become mothers. It's that simple. Forget feminism and political correctness, it's that simple.

Men need sex. Men are driven to plant their seed and are driven to fulfill their sexual needs.

Women may like sex. Women can enjoy sex. But women are not driven by sex to the degree that men are. Yes, there is a sex drive in women, but it's very far removed from the intensity of the male sex drive. And here is the key: In women, sex is linked to many other things in their lives. Sex is a part of acquiring the nest. Sex is a part of winning the male. So single women have a far greater sex drive than women who are secure in a relationship.

And this is where marriage screws men. The social security and comfort of marriage provides the woman with what she needs. And her sex drive plummets. It will pick up again when she wants to fall pregnant, but then once that psychological need is fulfilled and she has a full nest, the sex drive all but disappears.

That's nature.
That's the way the women are.
It's the correct way for women to be because it's what made us the most successful species on the planet.

Men have a constant and consistent sex drive. The man quite rightly expects to maintain a sex life in marriage. If the truth be told, women use and men fall for sex as a part of the reason to get married. Without the sex part, the romance, marriage is nothing more than a close friendship. Sex is integral to the difference between a friendship and a relationship and as such, sex is integral to the reasons to get married.

However, while the woman settles into the comfortable married life, secure in her relationship, the men suddenly finds that the fox in the bedroom is now a bitch in the kitchen. Hot sex is swapped for taking out the garbage, sexy lingerie becomes track suit bottoms and "comfortable" clothes, carrying her to the bedroom becomes pleading a resentful wife for 5 minutes of open legs.

The truth is that while your desire for your hot little princess peaks, now that she's yours forever more, her goal of securing permanence with her prince has been achieved.

Women need a reason to have sex, men just need an opportunity to.

When married men talk honestly, very few are sexually fulfilled. Most resentfully work around not getting enough and a roving eye is quickly followed by guilt and regret. Many struggle valiantly to resist temptation and blame themselves for their desires. Women, the popular press and the "self help" books, not to mention the psychologists and councellors put equal "blame" on both men and women for this situation, construing all manner of reason why the man may have offended the woman into losing her libido.

But the truth is simply that it's the natural progression of a woman's sex drive. There is nothing wrong with her, nor did the man commit some terrible crimes against the female. The man simply retained his sex drive, she lost hers.

As nature dictates.

So what is wrong? Marriage is wrong. Marriage is a gaol for male libido. If men could be sexually fulfilled, so many problems would disappear. But to expect a wife with little to no sex drive to fulfill those needs is also unfair to her. It's against her nature.

The truth is that we are naturally predisposed to many women for each man. But in the modern world this is quite impossible given the equal numbers of men and women.

The trauma runs deeply.

I asked my wife the other day how often she thinks we have sex. That's easy, she said. At least once or twice a week. And so the pollsters get their information. By asking both men and women.

However, to be completely impartial, what she didn't know is that I had kept a sex diary. For the past 8 months I had recorded every time we did it. It wasn't a big diary.

I figured it was once every two or three months.

The truth is about once every 3 to 4 weeks. However, over a previous 3 year period I was able to work out that although that is the average, gaps of several months between sex are not unusual.

Yet my wife thinks that we do it several times a week. "Except recently", she added, clearly going back mentally over the past few months.

There are many reasons, of course, that women give for this impasse. Tiredness is the most popular. But of course, when she was still dating you, that was never an issue. Tired or not, she want you big boy.

The truth is that most women simply don't know why their sex drive dropped off, are alarmed by it and, humans being humans, they look for reasons other than themselves. And, of course, they think that your sex life is better than it really is, thereby denying part of the problem.

During their honest moments, most men admit to simply being resigned to their predicament. Children are so precious to their parents that they go a long way to compensating for the lack of sex. But that constant gnawing is there. The need is there. Day by day, night by night, that need for sex persists.

The men become resenttful, cranky and short tempered. The women respond, fight back, become tearful and insecure. This reduces the amount of sex, making the problems worse.

In the end, the only way that a marriage can survive is for the man to give up on sex entirely. The woman will never raise her game in a sustained manner because that requires constant motivation. It takes energy. So it's down to the man to work around his natural desires, instincts and experience of the world.

I.e. Marriage makes for very unhappy men. No-one is to blame. It's the rules of marriage itself that's wrong. Marriage is to blame. Marriage is an ill-fitting shoe for both pairs of feet.

The only real solution is for society to change the marriage rules. Marriage must be seen for what it is, and married men should be encouraged and advised to use professional sex workers. Having an affair is not an option. It's an emotional bond unfair on all three parties. What's in short supply is sex for men, not relationships or emotions.

Women who are sex workers have their motivation, their reason, for sex: Money. Therefore they can supply sex and thanks to th wonders of a woman's body, they can supply lots of it. They can supply enough for many men.

This is the only way to balance the needs of both sexes with the concept of marriage.

However, as this is unlikely to be achieved, the best solution for men is to understand fully what they give up when they marry. Everyone hopes and believes that they will be different, but the truth is that most failed marriages were started by two people who thought that their marriage was different.

It took us millions of years to evolve to where we are today. You simply cannot change human nature, the product of that long evolution. Neither should we need to.

The rules are at fault. Let's change to rules to fit our needs, rather than trying to change to fit the rules.

Until then, the truth is that married men are unhappy men.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 306564



Feel for you brother. Been married twice. I was the giver on both counts. Got very tired of giving and getting nothing in return. Got out of both of those marriages. Been single 16 years now, and damn, its been the best..Hang in there until your sanity is about to go. Then call it quits.

___________
Let the truth be told... though the heavens fall!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 330510
United States
11/23/2007 02:32 PM
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Re: Single men: Do not get married.
I hear your pain.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 329669
United States
11/23/2007 02:32 PM
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Re: Single men: Do not get married.
You put into a marriage what you get out of it. My wife and I were engaged for 3 years before we got married. She is my best friend and we don't battle over who is in control or who is getting more etc. We just love each other and support each other. That is what a good marriage is.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 158884
United States
11/23/2007 02:36 PM
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Re: Single men: Do not get married.
So true OP!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 132975
United Kingdom
11/23/2007 02:39 PM
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Re: Single men: Do not get married.
You put into a marriage what you get out of it. My wife and I were engaged for 3 years before we got married. She is my best friend and we don't battle over who is in control or who is getting more etc. We just love each other and support each other. That is what a good marriage is.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 329669


Good for you, but you are very much in the minority, if married couples are being ruthlessly frank about their relationships.

I would guess that only about 4 or 5 percent of married couples are truly happy with their lot.
HardTruth

User ID: 330522
United States
11/23/2007 02:39 PM
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Re: Single men: Do not get married.
You put into a marriage what you get out of it. My wife and I were engaged for 3 years before we got married. She is my best friend and we don't battle over who is in control or who is getting more etc. We just love each other and support each other. That is what a good marriage is.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 329669



Key word there being good. Its not always true you get what you give...


___________
Let the truth be told... though the heavens fall!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 323776
United States
11/23/2007 02:46 PM
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Re: Single men: Do not get married.
In the end, the only way that a marriage can survive is for the man to give up on sex entirely. The woman will never raise her game in a sustained manner because that requires constant motivation. It takes energy. So it's down to the man to work around his natural desires, instincts and experience of the world.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 306564

No truer words have ever been spoken.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 148294
Spain
11/23/2007 02:49 PM
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Re: Single men: Do not get married.
Good post OP, tell it how it is...

And when you split. She immediately regains her libido for the next man.

While the next woman you meet has instant passion for you where you've been neglected and rejected for months.
meras
User ID: 330533
United Kingdom
11/23/2007 02:50 PM
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Re: Single men: Do not get married.
It takes a lot of energy to raise a family and children are physically and emotionally very demanding.

If you could possibly afford to get paid help with the housework on a regular basis this would give both partners a rest.

I know it is hard at the moment but divorce is worse-the children never forgive what they consider to be the parent in error - they see things in black and white.

Hospitals are unable to discharge some elderly patients because they have no family willing to care for them.

Don't throw away what you have, I believe you will regret it.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
11/23/2007 02:51 PM
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Re: Single men: Do not get married.
They also get fat.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 325976
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11/23/2007 02:51 PM
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Re: Single men: Do not get married.
You put into a marriage what you get out of it. My wife and I were engaged for 3 years before we got married. She is my best friend and we don't battle over who is in control or who is getting more etc. We just love each other and support each other. That is what a good marriage is.


Good for you, but you are very much in the minority, if married couples are being ruthlessly frank about their relationships.

I would guess that only about 4 or 5 percent of married couples are truly happy with their lot.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 132975



its also a stereotype that men are driven by sex and women lose their sex drive. In actuality, biologically speaking-women receive their sex drive from 35 on and it is just as intense as the man's. This would quell your theory that women only increase their sex drive to make babies-considering that 35 is somewhat older to be starting families. And there are many men who are not as sexually based as your post would like us all to believe-not every man is secretly humping the leg of every other woman they see.

Everything you are saying is based on generalizations. People are individuals and each person's desire for sex is driven by other factors than biological. Get this-women cheat in marriages, too-and its for the sex. Yes, women WITH children go and have sex with other men than their husband. They have the security, the nest, the husband and the kids-yet what do you know, they still want some dick from somewhere else.

Your pigeon holing of people only serves your rational for your own unhappiness in your marriage.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 259160
United States
11/23/2007 03:02 PM
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Re: Single men: Do not get married.
and this is why you shouldn't marry someone you've fallen in lust with, someone you might be a good friend, give you great sex, or whatever, but you don't actually really LOVE her, but rather just lust her... those relationships generally fail.
anonymous coward
User ID: 327638
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11/23/2007 03:04 PM
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Re: Single men: Do not get married.
As Nietche said, " Man is just a means for women ",
a means to get children.

Unfortunately, once children or borne, men become a slave to their job, to make ends meet to get that "nest", for the women...

But it doesn't end there, because women initiate divorce 80% of the time, so women have realized they don't have to put up with a man, once they have the children, and the home, and if they initiate the divorce, they will have the home, and the children, and the man will have a shabby apartment, half of his wages, and a life time of beans and rice....

so don't get married, don't have children, have a vasectomy....

That's why the wedding is the big deal for the women, because once marriage happens they are set for life.....
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 132975
United Kingdom
11/23/2007 03:05 PM
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Re: Single men: Do not get married.
You put into a marriage what you get out of it. My wife and I were engaged for 3 years before we got married. She is my best friend and we don't battle over who is in control or who is getting more etc. We just love each other and support each other. That is what a good marriage is.


Good for you, but you are very much in the minority, if married couples are being ruthlessly frank about their relationships.

I would guess that only about 4 or 5 percent of married couples are truly happy with their lot.



its also a stereotype that men are driven by sex and women lose their sex drive. In actuality, biologically speaking-women receive their sex drive from 35 on and it is just as intense as the man's. This would quell your theory that women only increase their sex drive to make babies-considering that 35 is somewhat older to be starting families. And there are many men who are not as sexually based as your post would like us all to believe-not every man is secretly humping the leg of every other woman they see.

Everything you are saying is based on generalizations. People are individuals and each person's desire for sex is driven by other factors than biological. Get this-women cheat in marriages, too-and its for the sex. Yes, women WITH children go and have sex with other men than their husband. They have the security, the nest, the husband and the kids-yet what do you know, they still want some dick from somewhere else.

Your pigeon holing of people only serves your rational for your own unhappiness in your marriage.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 325976


Luckily for me, I'm not married.

However, I would say that men should marry, and suck up all the grief and disadvantages that go with marriage, if they madly, truly, deeply want to have and raise children.

If you're uninterested in and indifferent to children, then do not marry under any circumstances.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 277866
United States
11/23/2007 03:05 PM
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Re: Single men: Do not get married.
You put into a marriage what you get out of it. My wife and I were engaged for 3 years before we got married. She is my best friend and we don't battle over who is in control or who is getting more etc. We just love each other and support each other. That is what a good marriage is.


Good for you, but you are very much in the minority, if married couples are being ruthlessly frank about their relationships.

I would guess that only about 4 or 5 percent of married couples are truly happy with their lot.



its also a stereotype that men are driven by sex and women lose their sex drive. In actuality, biologically speaking-women receive their sex drive from 35 on and it is just as intense as the man's. This would quell your theory that women only increase their sex drive to make babies-considering that 35 is somewhat older to be starting families. And there are many men who are not as sexually based as your post would like us all to believe-not every man is secretly humping the leg of every other woman they see.

Everything you are saying is based on generalizations. People are individuals and each person's desire for sex is driven by other factors than biological. Get this-women cheat in marriages, too-and its for the sex. Yes, women WITH children go and have sex with other men than their husband. They have the security, the nest, the husband and the kids-yet what do you know, they still want some dick from somewhere else.

Your pigeon holing of people only serves your rational for your own unhappiness in your marriage.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 325976



You've never been married.

Read what you wrote AFTER you've been married for twenty years and you'll realize just how big an idiot you are - the OP is right on the money!!!!!!!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 325976
United States
11/23/2007 03:07 PM
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Re: Single men: Do not get married.
You put into a marriage what you get out of it. My wife and I were engaged for 3 years before we got married. She is my best friend and we don't battle over who is in control or who is getting more etc. We just love each other and support each other. That is what a good marriage is.


Good for you, but you are very much in the minority, if married couples are being ruthlessly frank about their relationships.

I would guess that only about 4 or 5 percent of married couples are truly happy with their lot.



its also a stereotype that men are driven by sex and women lose their sex drive. In actuality, biologically speaking-women receive their sex drive from 35 on and it is just as intense as the man's. This would quell your theory that women only increase their sex drive to make babies-considering that 35 is somewhat older to be starting families. And there are many men who are not as sexually based as your post would like us all to believe-not every man is secretly humping the leg of every other woman they see.

Everything you are saying is based on generalizations. People are individuals and each person's desire for sex is driven by other factors than biological. Get this-women cheat in marriages, too-and its for the sex. Yes, women WITH children go and have sex with other men than their husband. They have the security, the nest, the husband and the kids-yet what do you know, they still want some dick from somewhere else.

Your pigeon holing of people only serves your rational for your own unhappiness in your marriage.



You've never been married.

Read what you wrote AFTER you've been married for twenty years and you'll realize just how big an idiot you are - the OP is right on the money!!!!!!!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 277866



I've been married-twice. First time, 9 years, and he passed away. Second time, 7 years, I divorced him. Again, more assumptions and generalizations.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 330540
United States
11/23/2007 03:34 PM
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Re: Single men: Do not get married.
BEEN MARRIED 21 YRS.....WE'VE HAD OUR STALE TIMES AND THEN WE HAVE REALIZED IT AND REKINDLED....WE'VE DONE THIS A FEW TIMES OVER THE COURSE OF THE MARRIAGE.....THE KID IS OUT OF THE HOUSE AND NOW WE EVEN HAVE MORE TO TIME TO RUN AROUND NAKED AND DO FUN STUFF AGAIN...THE EARLY YEARS ARE THE HARDEST...IF YOU GET PAST THAT SOMETIMES IT GETS BETTER...I GUESS WE WERE LUCKY TO STICK IT OUT THIS FAR.
Exploited
User ID: 319024
Canada
11/23/2007 03:37 PM
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Re: Single men: Do not get married.
I lived common-law for 2 years in college, and back to bachelor, and I totally agree with this guy.

What I noticed and love, is when you have your own place, there is no pressure! Its so laid back and relaxing.

Living with a women means there is someone else there, pressuring you to go do something, go buy something, or go somewhere. Its like your there fucking dad (maybe thats where 'big daddy' comes from?).

If you picked the right girl, I'm sure marriage would be awesome! I could see a whack job making your life hell though.

Guess the moral to this thread is pick wisely?
From working marriages, seems like happy people make happy marriages, and angry people make angry marriages...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 330540
United States
11/23/2007 03:45 PM
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Re: Single men: Do not get married.
I lived common-law for 2 years in college, and back to bachelor, and I totally agree with this guy.

What I noticed and love, is when you have your own place, there is no pressure! Its so laid back and relaxing.

Living with a women means there is someone else there, pressuring you to go do something, go buy something, or go somewhere. Its like your there fucking dad (maybe thats where 'big daddy' comes from?).

If you picked the right girl, I'm sure marriage would be awesome! I could see a whack job making your life hell though.

Guess the moral to this thread is pick wisely?
From working marriages, seems like happy people make happy marriages, and angry people make angry marriages...
 Quoting: Exploited 319024


I HAVE TALKS WITH MY 21 YR OLD SON ABOUT THIS AS OFTEN AS I CAN. HE'S A HAD A FEW GIRLFREINDS AND THE LATEST WAS A LITTLE SCAREY BECAUSE IT LOOKED LIKE HE WAS FALLING HEAD OVER HEALS......SHE WENT OF TO COLLEGE AND HE WANTED TO MOVE UP TO AUSTIN TO GO TO SCHOOL WITH HER. THINGS KINDA DIED OUT THOUGH AND NOW HE'S NOT IN SUCH A BIG HURRY TO GO. I TOLD HIM THERE'S LOVE AND LUST...AND MOST OF THE TIME WE CAN'T TELL THE DIFFERENCE, ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE YOUNG. I TOLD HIM NO MATTER NOE GORGEOUS A GIRL IS IF YOU'RE NOT IN LOVE YOU WILL GET TIRED OF IT. I TOLD HIM I'VE SEEN MANY GORGEUOS GIRLS THAT HAVE BEEN DUMPED. ETC. ETC...BOTTOM LINE IS MANY TIMES ONE THINKS HE/SHE IS IN LOVE AND ALL IT IS .....IS LUST.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 254371
United States
11/23/2007 03:48 PM
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Re: Single men: Do not get married.
Ill take your advice.
totally aware
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11/23/2007 03:49 PM
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Re: Single men: Do not get married.
I totally fuking agree with the OP.I like the freedom to act and behave anyway I please
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 325080
United States
11/23/2007 03:50 PM
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Re: Single men: Do not get married.
I think that far to many people jump into marriage to quickly.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 325080
United States
11/23/2007 03:50 PM
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Re: Single men: Do not get married.
I totally fuking agree with the OP.I like the freedom to act and behave anyway I please
 Quoting: totally aware 330202


yep...I love my freedom....
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 132975
United Kingdom
11/23/2007 03:55 PM
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Re: Single men: Do not get married.
I totally fuking agree with the OP.I like the freedom to act and behave anyway I please


yep...I love my freedom....
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 325080


Me, too.

I love the peace and quiet. No stress, no mind-games, no bullshit.

And, if I want sex, I'll pay a good professional for an hour of her time!

Bliss!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 330202
United States
11/23/2007 03:57 PM
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Re: Single men: Do not get married.
I totally fuking agree with the OP.I like the freedom to act and behave anyway I please


yep...I love my freedom....


Me, too.

I love the peace and quiet. No stress, no mind-games, no bullshit.

And, if I want sex, I'll pay a good professional for an hour of her time!

Bliss!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 132975

LOL and ya dont have to pay any time to thier relitives pretending that its all good
Razrin

User ID: 326347
Canada
11/23/2007 03:58 PM
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Re: Single men: Do not get married.
I am a married man.
Yes, I have children.
I have been married for nearly 10 years.

If you read the advice in books, online, even here at GLP, you will see the common trend is that the problems in marriage are due to the man. He became a slob. He doesn't help around the house. He's a child. Etc.

The truth is that 50% of humans on this planet are women and the honest fact is that while many intelligent, thinking and honest women see the problems for what they are, the majority, the rest, won't. We know this because of the truth about marriage.

And having children.

So here's the deal. Here's what you won't hear or read.

The honest truth is that marriage is hell. There are a few good marriages, but almost always one of the partners suffers. Sometimes it's the woman. Sometimes it's the man. One of the partners will be happy, the other will be making do with what they have, getting by, putting up with the situation.

There is more to it though. It's to do with the fact that marriage does not fit either male nor female biology or psychology. Women, do need the security of a permanent relationship. They need a nest because yes, women become mothers. It's that simple. Forget feminism and political correctness, it's that simple.

Men need sex. Men are driven to plant their seed and are driven to fulfill their sexual needs.

Women may like sex. Women can enjoy sex. But women are not driven by sex to the degree that men are. Yes, there is a sex drive in women, but it's very far removed from the intensity of the male sex drive. And here is the key: In women, sex is linked to many other things in their lives. Sex is a part of acquiring the nest. Sex is a part of winning the male. So single women have a far greater sex drive than women who are secure in a relationship.

And this is where marriage screws men. The social security and comfort of marriage provides the woman with what she needs. And her sex drive plummets. It will pick up again when she wants to fall pregnant, but then once that psychological need is fulfilled and she has a full nest, the sex drive all but disappears.

That's nature.
That's the way the women are.
It's the correct way for women to be because it's what made us the most successful species on the planet.

Men have a constant and consistent sex drive. The man quite rightly expects to maintain a sex life in marriage. If the truth be told, women use and men fall for sex as a part of the reason to get married. Without the sex part, the romance, marriage is nothing more than a close friendship. Sex is integral to the difference between a friendship and a relationship and as such, sex is integral to the reasons to get married.

However, while the woman settles into the comfortable married life, secure in her relationship, the men suddenly finds that the fox in the bedroom is now a bitch in the kitchen. Hot sex is swapped for taking out the garbage, sexy lingerie becomes track suit bottoms and "comfortable" clothes, carrying her to the bedroom becomes pleading a resentful wife for 5 minutes of open legs.

The truth is that while your desire for your hot little princess peaks, now that she's yours forever more, her goal of securing permanence with her prince has been achieved.

Women need a reason to have sex, men just need an opportunity to.

When married men talk honestly, very few are sexually fulfilled. Most resentfully work around not getting enough and a roving eye is quickly followed by guilt and regret. Many struggle valiantly to resist temptation and blame themselves for their desires. Women, the popular press and the "self help" books, not to mention the psychologists and councellors put equal "blame" on both men and women for this situation, construing all manner of reason why the man may have offended the woman into losing her libido.

But the truth is simply that it's the natural progression of a woman's sex drive. There is nothing wrong with her, nor did the man commit some terrible crimes against the female. The man simply retained his sex drive, she lost hers.

As nature dictates.

So what is wrong? Marriage is wrong. Marriage is a gaol for male libido. If men could be sexually fulfilled, so many problems would disappear. But to expect a wife with little to no sex drive to fulfill those needs is also unfair to her. It's against her nature.

The truth is that we are naturally predisposed to many women for each man. But in the modern world this is quite impossible given the equal numbers of men and women.

The trauma runs deeply.

I asked my wife the other day how often she thinks we have sex. That's easy, she said. At least once or twice a week. And so the pollsters get their information. By asking both men and women.

However, to be completely impartial, what she didn't know is that I had kept a sex diary. For the past 8 months I had recorded every time we did it. It wasn't a big diary.

I figured it was once every two or three months.

The truth is about once every 3 to 4 weeks. However, over a previous 3 year period I was able to work out that although that is the average, gaps of several months between sex are not unusual.

Yet my wife thinks that we do it several times a week. "Except recently", she added, clearly going back mentally over the past few months.

There are many reasons, of course, that women give for this impasse. Tiredness is the most popular. But of course, when she was still dating you, that was never an issue. Tired or not, she want you big boy.

The truth is that most women simply don't know why their sex drive dropped off, are alarmed by it and, humans being humans, they look for reasons other than themselves. And, of course, they think that your sex life is better than it really is, thereby denying part of the problem.

During their honest moments, most men admit to simply being resigned to their predicament. Children are so precious to their parents that they go a long way to compensating for the lack of sex. But that constant gnawing is there. The need is there. Day by day, night by night, that need for sex persists.

The men become resenttful, cranky and short tempered. The women respond, fight back, become tearful and insecure. This reduces the amount of sex, making the problems worse.

In the end, the only way that a marriage can survive is for the man to give up on sex entirely. The woman will never raise her game in a sustained manner because that requires constant motivation. It takes energy. So it's down to the man to work around his natural desires, instincts and experience of the world.

I.e. Marriage makes for very unhappy men. No-one is to blame. It's the rules of marriage itself that's wrong. Marriage is to blame. Marriage is an ill-fitting shoe for both pairs of feet.

The only real solution is for society to change the marriage rules. Marriage must be seen for what it is, and married men should be encouraged and advised to use professional sex workers. Having an affair is not an option. It's an emotional bond unfair on all three parties. What's in short supply is sex for men, not relationships or emotions.

Women who are sex workers have their motivation, their reason, for sex: Money. Therefore they can supply sex and thanks to th wonders of a woman's body, they can supply lots of it. They can supply enough for many men.

This is the only way to balance the needs of both sexes with the concept of marriage.

However, as this is unlikely to be achieved, the best solution for men is to understand fully what they give up when they marry. Everyone hopes and believes that they will be different, but the truth is that most failed marriages were started by two people who thought that their marriage was different.

It took us millions of years to evolve to where we are today. You simply cannot change human nature, the product of that long evolution. Neither should we need to.

The rules are at fault. Let's change to rules to fit our needs, rather than trying to change to fit the rules.

Until then, the truth is that married men are unhappy men.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 306564



I salute the divinity in you!


NAMASTE FRIEND!



Sincerely, a male in his early 20's questioning whether or not to get married.
Reality is felt through the heart. Human and intellectual retardation rule & govern all.
HardTruth

User ID: 330522
United States
11/23/2007 03:59 PM
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Re: Single men: Do not get married.
I totally fuking agree with the OP.I like the freedom to act and behave anyway I please


yep...I love my freedom....


Me, too.

I love the peace and quiet. No stress, no mind-games, no bullshit.

And, if I want sex, I'll pay a good professional for an hour of her time!

Bliss!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 132975



You dont pay a hooker for sex!! What youre paying for is for her to go home!!

___________
Let the truth be told... though the heavens fall!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 132975
United Kingdom
11/23/2007 04:05 PM
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Re: Single men: Do not get married.
I totally fuking agree with the OP.I like the freedom to act and behave anyway I please


yep...I love my freedom....


Me, too.

I love the peace and quiet. No stress, no mind-games, no bullshit.

And, if I want sex, I'll pay a good professional for an hour of her time!

Bliss!



You dont pay a hooker for sex!! What youre paying for is for her to go home!!

___________
Let the truth be told... though the heavens fall!
 Quoting: HardTruth


LOL!

Yeah, I remembered that Charlie Sheenism after I'd posted!

True, though - nice, mindless sex, and then she pisses off. What could be better?

lmao
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 236586
Netherlands
11/23/2007 04:05 PM
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Re: Single men: Do not get married.
all the friends i have who are married or are in long term relationships are not even 10% the man they used to be. and they look at me in envy and tell flat out they should have done like i did; never get married and never have kids.

that doesnt mean the right way is to screw around and lay as many girls as you can, because that is the other extreme which will trap you too. find the balance, be tempërate.

also marriage isnt bad, i mean it didnt used to be bad in different times...
i think a lot has to do with the times, the way marriage is used these days. and yes, especially the way women are being manipulated to think about it, through feminism propagated by different outlets for decades now.

nobody is saying girls should be slaves or something, but women these days in general seem to think having a husband is about having a puppy to train and cater their needs, idolising them or something. a real conscious man will never accept that, no matter what.

im amazed no feminists have flooded the thread calling you a homo and women hater... maybe they are busy reading their girly magazine bibles which tells them nothing but the trufff? lol.
Razrin

User ID: 326347
Canada
11/23/2007 04:07 PM
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Re: Single men: Do not get married.
True, though - nice, mindless sex, and then she pisses off. What could be better?


 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 132975



Booty calls that don't require the exchange of $$$

Reality is felt through the heart. Human and intellectual retardation rule & govern all.

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