"My life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving in an attractive and well preserved body...
...rather I fully intend to "meet my maker" skidding in sideways, a smoke in one hand and a drink in another, body thoroughly used up and totally worn out while screaming YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
"When I was a kid I prayed and prayed to Jesus that He would bring me a new bicycle but eventually I realized He didnīt work that way so I stole one and asked for His forgiveness."