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Yearing or Real, insights and advise welcome

 
Heaven_Inspired
User ID: 349255
United States
01/02/2008 11:03 PM
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Yearing or Real, insights and advise welcome
I am so glad I found this sight. First I want to apologize for this being so long, but I wanted some insight and advise from those that have found your Twin Flames. Mine story started 16 years ago.

I met him when I was 13-14 years old. This year I turned 30. And its been a big year so far. At first I thought it was a silly crush. But there was something about him, that I was drawn to. I was the quiet reserved student and he was the exact opposite--loud and obnouxious, but he made me laugh and smile. Often I would look at him or he at me, thinking the other didn't notice. Our schedules were so in sync that were shared classes about half the day and in those classes we often ended up either right next to each other or in front of each other. Neither of us made a move romantically and I wasn't attracted to him in the sexual manner, there was more too it. Well, while in HS I had a dream with him in it. It felt soo real. Then after HS we went our separate ways. He went on to be a doctor, I started school to be a nurse. Both us us had the intention to go into pediatrics. Because of life experiences I never became a nurse.

But I did get married to a man I loved and who loved me. During the early years of our marriage I had another dream about my Twin. This time my husband had died and my Twin came to the front door of my house. (At the time we didn't own a house. But later I came to realize the house in my dream was to be the house we bought. I house I had never seen before in my life.) Through next years I would dream about him occasionaly. Then the closer we got to our HS reunion, the stronger and more frequent the dreams were. They always revolved around that were were not willing to acknowledge our feelings, searching for each other. Then we finally found each other but couldn't be together because we with other people. Finally, we found our opportunity and we could be together. At first I figured it was just my unresolved feelings, the crush I had for him and nothing was there.

But at our reunion, something happened. When I went around at the end of the night to collect name badges, he had stopped me. We didn't say anything. We were memorized my each other. Directly looking into each others eyes, searching for something. It was so amazing the feeling I felt so complete and I saw my self in his eyes. He then wanted to say something but didn't get a chance because someone called his name. This moment will stay with me forever. I felt so right.

Its been a year since then and I've tried pushing it out of my mind. Trying to concentrate saving my marriage. My husband hasn't put any effort into helping us. And we have come to the realization that our marriage is over. We still love each other its just that now we are no longer on the same path. BTW, we have no children and I think this is what is the root-if we did things would be different. On Christmas Day we finally communicated and I have my closure to my marriage.

I felt complete that I have faced alot of demons in my life. And I conquered them. Now I look at life and the people around me in clear, unconditional love. Well a week ago I have conversations with my spirit guides that have me clarity of certain issues in mine and my family's lives. I kept questioning whether is was real--it felt real but the logical part wouldn't accept that I was speaking with my guides. They kept bring up an experience I had the first Christmas after my Brother died. I had awoken in the middle of night to go to the bathroom about 7 ft away. At the time there was frost on the window (my side of the bed faced it). When I first got up there was nothing on the window but frost. When I came back my brothers full name had been written out. I was only gone for 2 minutes and the only other person was my husband who was still sleeping.

Back to the present, the other night I was having conversations with what I believe is my Twin, my dead brother, guides, and my baby niece (who were all in my head). So much was said and so much pleading to me to overcome my vulnerability. They said all I had to do was open the door and my Twin would be on the other side waiting for me. It felt so real, I was tired but completely awake.

The next morning I was questioning whether is was real. Well, I kept hearing that if I believe my Christmas experience was real and my Christ experience was real (another story) then I had to believe this. After I got out of the shower I noticed in the mirror the following written in the fog on it. Aam (my Twin's initials), Love's forever, Do it now. If that wasn't enough to shock me, before my eyes I saw the the name Justin being written. It materialized before my eyes. It floored me so much I started sobbing.

Now since its been a few names I am starting to doubt whether I am delusional or whether it was real and that I will be with him, and finally happy, with my deepest wish for children and a family.

If anyone can give me some advice and insight I would greatly help.
1
User ID: 349185
United States
01/02/2008 11:08 PM
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Re: Yearing or Real, insights and advise welcome
One vote for delusional.
insight
User ID: 349185
United States
01/02/2008 11:12 PM
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Re: Yearing or Real, insights and advise welcome
You want someone to give you permission to cheat on your husband.
Heaven_Inspired (OP)

User ID: 349255
United States
01/02/2008 11:17 PM
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Re: Yearing or Real, insights and advise welcome
For clarification, my husband and I are currently in the process of separating. Regardless of the issue above. I have been trying to make my marriage work for the last 3 years. He on the other refuses to work on it. So it is not an excuse to cheat. I have always been faithful and regardless of these feelings for someone else-I would never cheat on him, if he decided he want to try and make our marriage work.
Satiric Axiom

User ID: 292560
United States
01/02/2008 11:23 PM
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Re: Yearing or Real, insights and advise welcome
Wishing You well on your journey, OP.
"It isn't about what you & I think, it's about what is."

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