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Message Subject I HAD SOME KIND OF PROPHETIC DREAM ABOUT THE TWO WITNESSES!!? I WAS TOLD TO COME HERE AND POST, PLEASE READ!
Poster Handle Anonymous Coward
Post Content
I don't know what to believe anymore. I haven't believed in anything for years..since I was a kid. I've never felt the presence of God...no matter who hard I tried...

It seems like everyone else that are christians boast about how they "feel" it running through their bodies....It makes me so envious...it makes me mad..and when they talk about it ...it pushes me away even more..I don't understand why.

In a way I'm jealous..but then again..I scoff at it. Mainly for the fact that I've always convinced myself that it's adrenaline or some sort of tactic of working your mind up when you really want to experience something. Unfortunately, this doesn't work for me.

I don't know what to do anymore. Then I find this website randomly--and I find myself constantly and almost obsessively checking the updates on threads. I'm lured to this site now..mainly because of the dense amounts of information that I haven't even ever considered or was aware of throughout my life. I'm sure most of it is exaggerated and theoretical..but I can't help it. 3 months ago I knew nothing. Now...I've read so much..and this void feeling I've had most my life is increasing significantly more.

I've sinned ridiculously..and even if I tried to finally conform my ways to God now...I think it would be selfish. It's just like someone finally apologizing for their wrong deeds the moment as they lay dying. It shouldn't be at the last minute.

If "revelations" is around the corner--I would WANT God to keep me here...I should suffer..and I can accept that. I will fight for righteousness...the good and the innocent...I just don't think I should ever deserve a place in heaven.
 
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