Doomsday Trading Algorithm... LOL-for-Geeks

New algorithm for trading

while( watchingCNBC )
{
if(BushSpeak && PaulsonSpeak)
{
short(10000,"MBI");
}
else if(KudblowHappy && CramerHappy)
{
short(20000,"SPY");
}
else if(FedCutRate)
{
coverAllShortPosition();
golong();
}
else if( loss > 100000 )
{
closeTradingAcct();
fileBankruptcy();
waitForGovtBailout();
standInFoodLine();
}
else if( DOW < 2000 && NASDAQ < 20 )
{
while (loadingPistol())
{
if( neighborAttack() )
shootFirst();
askQuestionLater();
}
}
}


[link to www.tickerforum.org]