Why Woman Are Crabby | |
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ajk User ID: 216110 United States 02/19/2008 11:03 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Well now, when you put it that way........ Don't forget the chances of being used and abused too (especially if you're attractive). No one is perfect. A babe before walking will first stumble and fall many times but NEVER gives up until he succeeds. Always remember, ultimately, to never follow any person's belief. Your relationship with God is between you and God. If nothing else, remember this: religion = subservience, control and conformity, the same template as EVERY government "Most believers would kill truth if truth threatened their religion." L. K. Washburn "This crime called blasphemy was invented by priests for the purpose of defending doctrines not able to take care of themselves." Robert Ingersoll "If anyone wants to know how God feels, it's a warm light as if the sun is poking through dark clouds and lifting your spirits with pure joy." |
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Anonymous Coward User ID: 349272 United States 02/19/2008 09:25 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Why women are Crabby: Quoting: Anonymous Coward 373902We start to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find anything that comes in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurts so bad it brings us to tears. Enter the almighty, uncomfortable training bra contraption the boys in school will snap until we have calluses on our backs. Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we now bloat, we cramp, we get the hormone crankies, have to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had. Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) is having sex for the first time which is about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about. Then it's off to Motherhood where we learn to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we don't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learn to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we're having Rosemary's Baby. Our once flat bellies now look like we swallowed a watermelon whole and we pee our pants every time we sneeze. When the big moment arrives, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions will invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we'll waddle with our big cartoon feet moaning in pain all the way to the ER. Then it's huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, "Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. Just one more (or 10 ) good push," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the ***** (and hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10lb bowling ball through a keyhole. After that, it's time to raise those angels only to find that when all that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morph into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines. The teen years. Need I say more? The kids are almost grown now and we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our early 40's while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday. Now we hit the grand finale: "The Menopause," the Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take the HR. and chance cancer in those now seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves. Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men when men get off so easy INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks... Now I love being a woman but "Womanhood" would make the Great Ghandi a tad crabby. Women are the "weaker sex"? Yeah right. Bite me. That was great..but it's only fair to print the retort..and by the way.. I didn't write this.. To women everywhere from a man who's had enough . . . * Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's down, put it up. * If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. * Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her. * Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again! * If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. * Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks. * Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. * Shopping is not a sport, and no, we're never going to think of it that way. * When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. really. * You have enough clothes. * You have too many shoes. * Crying is blackmail. * Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't work. Really obvious hints don't work. Just say it! * No, we don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on the calendar. * If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer. * Peeing standing up is more difficult. We're bound to miss sometimes. * Most guys own three pairs of shoes-what makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress? * Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. * Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. * Foreign films are best left to foreigners. * Check your oil. * It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz. * Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. * All comments become null and void after 7 days. * If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. * You can either tell us to do something OR tell us how to do something but not both. * Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. * ALL men see in only 16 colors. Peach is a fruit, not a color. * Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you. * If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you're lying, but it's just not worth the hassle. Submitted by someone who asked his name be kept secret without his girlfriend's knowledge. |
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*Jentle* User ID: 222817 United Kingdom 02/19/2008 09:34 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Spectrum Blue User ID: 333587 United States 02/19/2008 09:35 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Well now, when you put it that way........ Quoting: ajkDon't forget the chances of being used and abused too (especially if you're attractive). Ugh! True! I can't have kids, but having bad husbands is alot worse than little "angels" blowing snot on you and crapping everywhere. Especially if that husband can't get past the terrible twos and throws fits and hits you everytime you're late with dinner or talks to him while he's playing an online fps game match. The worst is when your husband wants sex and you don't and he pretty much "rapes" you and leaves bruises and makes it so you can't walk for awhile. I hate fucking assholes like that. And I know not all men are like that. I'm learning. It's hard but I'm still learning. I hate being crabby too. But it's hard not to be when you're in constant pain. I do wish I was a guy. Then I wouldn't have to deal with all this crap. Dreams will begin as they fade into chaos. |
Dirtfarmer User ID: 373426 United States 02/19/2008 09:37 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Why women are Crabby: Quoting: Anonymous Coward 373902We start to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find anything that comes in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurts so bad it brings us to tears. Enter the almighty, uncomfortable training bra contraption the boys in school will snap until we have calluses on our backs. Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we now bloat, we cramp, we get the hormone crankies, have to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had. Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) is having sex for the first time which is about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about. Then it's off to Motherhood where we learn to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we don't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learn to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we're having Rosemary's Baby. Our once flat bellies now look like we swallowed a watermelon whole and we pee our pants every time we sneeze. When the big moment arrives, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions will invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we'll waddle with our big cartoon feet moaning in pain all the way to the ER. Then it's huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, "Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. Just one more (or 10 ) good push," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the ***** (and hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10lb bowling ball through a keyhole. After that, it's time to raise those angels only to find that when all that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morph into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines. The teen years. Need I say more? The kids are almost grown now and we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our early 40's while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday. Now we hit the grand finale: "The Menopause," the Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take the HR. and chance cancer in those now seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves. Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men when men get off so easy INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks... Now I love being a woman but "Womanhood" would make the Great Ghandi a tad crabby. Women are the "weaker sex"? Yeah right. Bite me. Hell I thought they just took a pill to make them crabby everyday. Seriously you did a very good analysis here. How fortunate for governments that the people they administer don't think. Adolf Hitler When the government fears the people there is liberty; when the people fear the government there is tyranny. Thomas Jefferson "Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free." Jim Morrison |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 318590 United States 02/19/2008 10:05 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Sounds like you haven't had sex sense your last kid...no wonder you're crabby. Quoting: *Jentle*Hmmmm! You're a guy, right? I'm a man...my lady is easy to please. Just hand her my wallet, take her to Hawaii for 5-6 weeks a year, buy her black pearl jewelry, tell her how much I love and appreciate her (and I do), and put a smile on her face in the sack. She treats me very well in return. We have gone thru some tuff times but I can't remember ever being unhappy. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 349272 United States 02/19/2008 10:11 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | She treats me very well in return. We have gone thru some tuff times but I can't remember ever being unhappy. My wife was happy until you mentioned the 5-6 weeks in Hawaii. Thanks! Signed, In The Dog House |
*Jentle* User ID: 222817 United Kingdom 02/19/2008 10:12 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 318590 United States 02/19/2008 10:22 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I'm a man...my lady is easy to please. Just hand her my wallet, take her to Hawaii for 5-6 weeks a year, buy her black pearl jewelry, tell her how much I love and appreciate her (and I do), and put a smile on her face in the sack. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 349272She treats me very well in return. We have gone thru some tuff times but I can't remember ever being unhappy. My wife was happy until you mentioned the 5-6 weeks in Hawaii. Thanks! Signed, In The Dog House She takes me to show how much she loves me. |
The Oracle User ID: 375830 Canada 02/20/2008 09:22 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I hate being crabby too. But it's hard not to be when you're in constant pain. I do wish I was a guy. Then I wouldn't have to deal with all this crap. Quoting: Spectrum BlueBeing a man comes with a whole hosts of situations. For one thing you have to deal with women, sometimes much more arduous labor, and a penis [which is awesome, but gets you in trouble a lot of the time.]. Abuse sucks. In all forms. I've experienced that men use threats of physical abuse while women use dirty psychological tactics. It all depends on the abuser. Some guys are just assholes, and some women are born like 10,000 years old and hate life and are miserably crabby with everyone except for their dog or 12 cats or husband. A military policeman told myself that Men are abused more than women. He was trained to be cautious when confronting a woman in a Kitchen because the woman is usually the one who knows where all the knives are hidden. In North America, things are reverse polarized. The men are feminized and the females are masculine. Perhaps it is something in the water. Thats why I like asian/strippers/dancers/oriental women. They are still feminine, and are not slobs or pigs. I fully realize that no wealth or position can long endure unless built upon truth, self-confidence, justice, creativity, intelligence, privacy and respect. |
Sireen-reborn User ID: 335827 United States 02/20/2008 09:25 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I don't remember my youth being that bad! LOL But then, I'm never crabby either! anything after 'but' is bullshit! [link to www.myspace.com] "Once you open your mind to the possibility of conspiracy, you then see conspiracy in everything." [link to deadbydecember-sireen.blogspot.com] |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 349272 United States 02/20/2008 02:42 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
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