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Mind Blowing Top 100 Facts About Hillary Clinton, Clinton's Blood Type Is WD-40

 
she can speak braille
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Ireland
03/09/2008 10:13 PM
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Mind Blowing Top 100 Facts About Hillary Clinton, Clinton's Blood Type Is WD-40
Top 100 Facts About Hillary Clinton

1. Hillary Clinton does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Hillary Clinton goes killing.

2. Hillary Clinton does not believe that there are 50 states, only 2, because where ever she goes becomes a State of Emergency and whenever she leaves, she leaves a State of Destruction

3. When Hillary Clinton goes to donate blood, she declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

4. Hillary Clinton doesn't have to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Tall buildings duck under Hillary Clinton.

5. Hillary Clinton beat a wall at tennis. Yes. A WALL.

6. There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Hillary Clinton is going to walk.

7. Hillary Clinton can speak braille.

8. Hillary Clinton is allergic to doorknobs. Thats why she can only kick through doors.

9. If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Hillary Clinton says its beef, then it's beef.

10. Superman owns a pair of Hillary Clinton pajamas.

11. Hillary Clinton can delete the Recycling Bin.

12. Hillary Clinton sleeps once every 2 weeks, for half an hour, standing up, with her eyes open, and she looks pissed off.

13. The word "gay" derives from an old Latin phrase that roughly translates as "He who has not yet been introduced to Hillary Clinton."

14. Hillary Clinton can slam revolving doors.

15. World champion eater Takeru Kobayashi once ate 53.5 hot dogs in 12 minutes. Allotted the same time, Hillary Clinton ate Kobayashi.

16. Hillary Clinton can eat a rubix cube and crap it out solved.

17. Whenever Hillary Clinton plays Chutes and Ladders, she treats the chutes as ladders, because she's not some sissy who can't climb up a plastic slide.

18. Hillary Clinton doesn't have a computer. Just a basement full of Asian kids that memorize numbers.

19. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Hillary Clinton could use to kill you, including the room itself.

20. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Hillary Clinton.

21. Hillary Clinton does not sleep. She waits.

22. When Hillary Clinton gives you the finger, she's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

23. Hillary Clinton sleeps with a night light. Not because Hillary Clinton is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Hillary Clinton

24. Hillary Clinton and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing their underwear on the outside of their pants.

25. Hillary Clinton once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

26. Hillary Clinton died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell her.

27. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Hillary Clinton can kill 100 percent of whatever the heck she wants.

28. Hillary Clinton always asks for the same Christmas gift: A box of Smurfs and a sledgehammer.

29. Hillary Clinton's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Hillary Clinton.

30. Hillary Clinton counted to infinity - twice.

31. Hillary Clinton was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

32. Hillary Clinton has beat the crap out of so many people over her brilliant life that most medical journals now classify her as a laxative.

33. Hillary Clinton can predict the shuffle on her iPod.

34. Hillary Clinton can watch a season of "24" in just three hours.

35. The United States Federal Reserve Bank decided that Hillary Clinton's basement was a much safer place for their gold than Fort Knox.

36. Hillary Clinton invented the hammer when she was tired of using her forehead to slam nails into wood.

37. On a high school math test, Hillary Clinton put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. She got an A+ on the test because Hillary Clinton solves all her problems with Violence.

38. Hillary Clinton can kill two stones with one bird.

39. On her birthday, Hillary Clinton randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

40. When Hillary Clinton plays any video game, God mode automatically turns on.

41. You are what you eat. That is why Hillary Clinton's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.

42. Santa Claus actually *did* exist until he accidentally skipped Hillary Clinton's house one Christmas.

43. The last man who made eye contact with Hillary Clinton was Ray Charles.

44. Hillary Clinton became a vegetarian not because she loves animals, but because she hates plants.

45. The end result of the game "Clue" is always the same: Hillary Clinton was the murderer, it was in the orphanage, and the weapon was a hamster.

46. Hillary Clinton had a little lamb whose fleece was white as snow, and anywhere Hillary Clinton went the lamb was sure to go. So she killed it.

47. Hillary Clinton irons her shirts while she's wearing them.

48. Hillary Clinton's blood type is WD-40.

49. Hillary Clinton owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped her win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite her holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.

50. Hillary Clinton is able to rip a phone book in half with just one hand.

51. Hillary Clinton knows the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow (African *AND* European).

52. Hillary Clinton can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

53. Hillary Clinton was originally cast as the main
character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when she managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

54. Hillary Clinton is the only person in the world who can actually give 110%.

55. Onions do not make Hillary Clinton cry. Hillary Clinton makes onions crap themselves.

56. The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when Hillary Clinton punched herself in the face.

57. Hillary Clinton once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.

58. Hillary Clinton wears a cup not to protect herself, but to protect the players on the other team.

59. The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from Hillary Clinton and forgot to pay her back.

60. Hillary Clinton can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

61. Hillary Clinton was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain.

62. What scientists thought was natural selection is actually only the continued survival of animals Hillary Clinton has found too chewy to eat.

63. Hillary Clinton is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for her left and right legs.

64. The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Hillary Clinton has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

65. When Hillary Clinton enters a room, she doesn't turn the lights on, she turns the dark off.

66. Hillary Clinton can make a paraplegic run for her life.

67. If at first you don't succeed, you must not be Hillary Clinton.

68. Hillary Clinton can tie her shoes with her feet.

69. Crop circles are Hillary Clinton's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the hell down.

70. Hillary Clinton used to beat the crap out of her shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind her.

71. Hillary Clinton puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

72. Giraffes were created when Hillary Clinton uppercutted a horse.

73. When Hillary Clinton deletes files from her computer, she doesn't send them to the Recycle Bin. She sends them to hell.

74. Hillary Clinton has the heart of a child. She keeps it in a small box.

75. Once a cobra bit Hillary Clinton's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

76. Hillary Clinton once stated that she "doesn't wail on sissy boys." This led to the pink polo shirts with popped collars craze. Little do those pitiful fools know that Hillary Clinton was just making it easier to find sissy boys to wail on.

77. If Hillary Clinton wants some shade, she stares the sun down until it eclipses.

78. Hillary Clinton is the only one who can "try this at home."

79. Weeping Willows are a result of Hillary Clinton yelling at trees for not being tough enough.

80. Hillary Clinton's dog is trained to pick up her own poop because Hillary Clinton will not take crap from anyone.

81. Hillary Clinton doesn't read books. She stares them down until she gets the information she wants.

82. When Hillary Clinton gets pulled over she lets the cop off with a warning.

83. If you haven't seen Alien vs. Predator yet, don't bother, Hillary Clinton wins.

84. If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" backwards, you will hear Hillary Clinton laughing at you.

85. Hillary Clinton destroyed the periodic table, saying Hillary Clinton only recognizes the element of surprise.

86. Hillary Clinton is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

87. Hillary Clinton invented black. In fact, she invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

88. Hillary Clinton played Russian Roulete with a fully loaded gun and won.

89. Hillary Clinton was born with the right to party. Unlike the rest of us, who have to fight for it.

90. Getting murdered by Hillary Clinton counts as a natural cause of death.

91. Only once has Hillary Clinton ever cried. The only survivors were a bunch of animals and some dude named clark kent.

92. The only time Hillary Clinton was wrong was when she thought she had made a mistake.

93. Hillary Clinton's family wraps her holiday presents in lead, so she can't see what's in them.

94. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Hillary Clinton allows to live.

95. The movie Ray is loosely based on the life of Hillary Clinton, only they substituted piano playing for eating toddlers, and blindness for the ability to fly.

96. Hillary Clinton does not know where you live, but she knows where you will die.

97. Hillary Clinton doesn't play "hide-and-seek." She plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."

98. Circles exist because Hillary Clinton beat the crap out of some squares.

99. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Hillary Clinton and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

100. Hillary Clinton once got caught doing 100 in a 50 zone. The cop did give her a speeding ticket, however Hillary Clinton still pleads her innocence to this day, stating that she was simply out for a morning jog.

[link to www.100factsabout.com]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 389105
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03/09/2008 10:37 PM
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Re: Mind Blowing Top 100 Facts About Hillary Clinton, Clinton's Blood Type Is WD-40
I don't like Hillary but your list sucks, is not even funny or even mildly amusing. Get a new writer and suck Hillary's cock in the mean time!
Queen

User ID: 279635
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03/09/2008 10:40 PM
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Re: Mind Blowing Top 100 Facts About Hillary Clinton, Clinton's Blood Type Is WD-40
Friday 07 March 2008

It will come as a surprise to many people that there are rules in politics. Most of those rules are unwritten and are based on common understandings, acceptable practices, and the best interest of the political party a candidate seeks to lead. One of those rules is this: Do not provide ammunition to the opposition party that can be used to destroy your party's nominee. This is a hyper-truth where the presidential contest is concerned.

By saying that only she and John McCain are qualified to lead the country, particularly in times of crisis, Hillary Clinton has broken that rule, severely damaged the Democratic candidate who may well be the party's nominee, and, perhaps most ominously, revealed the unlimited lengths to which she will go to achieve power. She has essentially said that the Democratic party deserves to lose unless it nominates her.

As a veteran of red telephone ads and "where's the beef" cleverness, I am keenly aware that sharp elbows get thrown by those trailing in the fourth quarter (and sometimes even earlier). "Politics ain't beanbag," is the old slogan. But that does not mean that it must also be rule-or-ruin, me-first-and-only-me, my way or the highway. That is not politics. That is raw, unrestrained ambition for power that cannot accept the will of the voters.

Senator Obama is right to say the issue is judgment not years in Washington. If Mrs. Clinton loses the nomination, her failure will be traced to the date she voted to empower George W. Bush to invade Iraq. That is not the kind of judgment, or wisdom, required by the leader answering the phone in the night. For her now to claim that Senator Obama is not qualified to answer the crisis phone is the height of irony if not chutzpah, and calls into question whether her primary loyalty is to the Democratic party and the nation or to her own ambition.

www.truthout.org/docs_2006/030908A.shtml
It is time to awaken to your real purpose. It is all up to you.
The Good Reverend Roger

User ID: 330206
United States
03/09/2008 10:41 PM
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Re: Mind Blowing Top 100 Facts About Hillary Clinton, Clinton's Blood Type Is WD-40
Plagiarized from the Chuck Norris list.

yawn
HORRIBLE BASTARD.
Anonymous Coward
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03/09/2008 10:41 PM
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Re: Mind Blowing Top 100 Facts About Hillary Clinton, Clinton's Blood Type Is WD-40
Hillary Clinton's the new Chuck Norris!
Anonymous Coward
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03/09/2008 10:42 PM
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Re: Mind Blowing Top 100 Facts About Hillary Clinton, Clinton's Blood Type Is WD-40
Damn Reverend, you beat me by a second. :(
Anonymous Coward
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Ireland
03/09/2008 10:43 PM
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Re: Mind Blowing Top 100 Facts About Hillary Clinton, Clinton's Blood Type Is WD-40
LMAO @ the new chuck norris
Queen

User ID: 279635
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03/09/2008 10:59 PM
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Re: Mind Blowing Top 100 Facts About Hillary Clinton, Clinton's Blood Type Is WD-40
Thanks for the list, I've never seen it, and it was great.
It is time to awaken to your real purpose. It is all up to you.
Anonymous Coward
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03/10/2008 03:05 AM
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Re: Mind Blowing Top 100 Facts About Hillary Clinton, Clinton's Blood Type Is WD-40
I'm disappointed, I thought this would be 100 REAL facts about Hillary Clinton that we may be interested in. Number 4 was kind of funny though.
Anonymous Coward
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Spain
03/10/2008 03:29 AM
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Re: Mind Blowing Top 100 Facts About Hillary Clinton, Clinton's Blood Type Is WD-40
Actually, some of those were pretty hilarious.

Almost spit out my morning coffee with number 12!

Thanks for the chuckles.
Anonymous Coward
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03/10/2008 12:51 PM
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Re: Mind Blowing Top 100 Facts About Hillary Clinton, Clinton's Blood Type Is WD-40
if you don't find this at all funny you have no soul.
motox

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03/10/2008 12:52 PM
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Re: Mind Blowing Top 100 Facts About Hillary Clinton, Clinton's Blood Type Is WD-40
"Clinton's Blood Type Is WD-40"


hahahahahaha

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