[Need advice] Women, relationships, love -- Never asked for anything on here.

How old are you?

Run away fast.

I'm 19, shes 18.

Yeah yeah I know.. the age; development thing -- You're young, move on, get over it, etc..

Heard all that before but I personally feel way older than my physical age. I'm also attracted to smart, mature girls -- Even though shes only periodically mature, I'm still attracted.

We're not really together either. Thats the thing. We're just swimming around in the warm waters fucking around like it's no big deal. And it's not, but it's affecting her in a pretty intense way, as it is me.. but I'm more introverted subconsciously when it comes to how drama affects me.

I just let it slide off my conscience most of the time.

Dude. She sounds like bad news. My only suggestion is that you not do anything PERMANENT with her. Sounds like she liked drama. If she throws over the other guy for you, there's a strong chance she'll throw you over for the next hot thing she meets in 4-6 months. just sayin'

And for gosh sakes, DO NOT LET HER GET PREGNANT. Take care of yourself.

If you're wanting something more than just friends with bene's then tell her. If she's down with it then she should leave the other guy alone...

It sounds like you really like her. Does she know?

If you want something more solid with her but she isn't wanting to give up this other guy then you should move on

imo

Have you tried to have a SPECIFIC conversation with her about this? That would be the place to start to figure out where its gonna go. If she's ambivalent, its not gonna go anywhere...

I think as long as you have never asked her to be exclusive, she has a right to talk to/ and or continue to hook up with this other guy.

So many men are afraid of making a comitment these days and are basically seeing 4 or 5 girls all at the same time, maybe she assumes that you are one of those.

I think if you really like her, you should ask her if she wants to be exclusive, if she likes you, she will be psyched and probably stop talking to the other guy.

If she's not into being exclusive, that just means she is a casual hookup type of girl- nothing wrong with that, but you have to decide if thats enough for you, or if you want to move on to someone else with more future potential. Good Luck!

Great points.

I thought about that as well before.. but I still don't know her entirely, so can't really make a precise judgment just yet.

Where I stand is.. I'm just going to keep hanging out w/ her but slow down at a reasonable pace. She gets me horny, and I get her horny.. almost instantly.

Nothing permanent but all the days we've been together have put an impression on both of us. She wouldn't be confused if she didn't have *some* feelings.

=/ She won't get pregnant. . . . that I personally would like to make sure it never happens, lol.

You need to slow down; get to know someone first.

Also, letting her make the decisions ...you should have a voice in any relationship.

A month knowing her and you ALREADY want to stop her from the other guy?

Ask yourself, why?

Are you a copntrol freak? are you unsure of yourself?

Sex and *love* ... after 4 weeks? I don't think so; chill hon ... take your time.

Thing with her is.. shes not the kinda girl to be dating so many guys. Shes confused @ what she should do with me and the other guy. She can't make a decision. I mean I can understand that because I popped into her life so suddenly and the relationship grew from just friendly conversations to some crazy ass shit.

I've spoken to her about this a lot of times.. but it gets her really emotional & she cries and shit.. so I keep it on the low most of the time. We just bug out, but it leads to pretty intimate stuff.

I'm also not the kinda guy to be dating around like crazy and hooking up with girls for whatever. I'm also not the kind to 'move on' and leave her because she feels like a friend AND at times, a partner/girlfriend. It's fucking confusing.

I was gonna offer great reams of advice, but I remember being young and realize it took me till 35 to find a relationship what was worth my sticking around.

Screwing around in crazy places is fun, but she is doing it with another, so it is the fun and not you that calls her to do such things. Not saying she is a whore, she's just exploring, as you are, you're young, it's natural.

So I guess it depends on what you're looking for, but in my own experience, youth is for figuring it out, at least in today's world. So although I clicked this thread with lots of advice I now realize I have none, oops.

...except, define what you need and then you will be clearer to see it when it presents itself.

Nah, I don't want to control her when it comes to the other guy -- That is all up to them to decide.

I do have a voice in the decision making, but I'd much rather have her decide and talk to me about it.. because shes more fragile emotionally than I am and I care about her.

It just bothers me from time to time, knowing she may be 'planning' something and not telling me... because of whatever reason. It's really hard to read her, I gotta admit.. so getting to know her is @ times very easy and at other times very difficult.

So...... I'm most likely going to slow down, but not dramatically or anything.. but one step at a time.. so it doesn't hurt no one.

Gonna be helping her with a macroeconomics final tomorrow morning. I enjoy that shit, and when I do read the books she has & try helping her.. it drives her crazy and turns her on so much that she just wants to feel up on me & we start that intimate shit again. Lol..

well, heck. maybe you kids are each other's true loves and then my advice would be don't let her get away. i'm old enough to be your mom (and your mom's mom! lol) so its nice to hear of kids who are crazy for each other. i really recommend you try talking to her - some place where you won't get frisky with each other so you can just TALK so you find out what she's thinking. She might want to leave her other boyfriend, but just needs to know that that is what you want, too.

and be careful of those stds....

What you just posted is great enough. Don't need any specific advice, but it would help certainly.

Ummm, the thing is.. I asked her if she ever did this or does this w/ any other guy currently.. and she said flat out -- "No.."

Then she asks if I trust her.. and I do.. because when she lies she tends to shy away and get distant, which she wasn't when she answered that like 50 times.

So, as far as I know she doesn't do this with the other dude.

I mean, they barely see each other... lol. Me, she sees like nearly every single day.

So confusing... =/

Oh and I certainly do NOT want a relationship right now. Thats not my goal. My current goal is to get down w/ her and get to know her... just bugging out like friends do.

But it gets crazy from time to time.

OK, thanks folks...

I don't know if you've noticed but my mind is really hyper right now... can't focus... so I'm going to chill for a bit.

Realized I had to get this off my chest in public.. it helped.

Any input is appreciated though, so thanks.

=D

Do you have anything in common other than sex? How do you feel in her aura? After you've spent 2-3 hours together doing non-sexual things, do you feel like you've just gotta get away from her?

All things to consider.

Okay, if you want a relationship, you should tell her you want to spend some time with her other than just having sex.
Doing stuff she likes and you like so you can get to know each other. Still have sex, just don't let the sex be the only thing you do together. Need to talk and be friends as well. If you want to be in a relationship, it should be okay if she's friends with guys, just tell her you want to be exclusive and you do not want to have sex with anyone else and you don't want her to have sex with anyone else.

It's amazing when that attraction is soooo strong. Very hard to resist.

However, you said you do not want a relationship. If you don't want a relationship, then you have NO right to tell her to stop seeing anyone else. (Friends or intimates of hers).

Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

Of course, this maybe a generational thing. I'm thinking along the lines of a relationship meaning something long term and exclusive. You younger folk may think a relationship means something else.

:-)

In my experience (decades of it) when you find someone that makes you overwhelmingly horny, you have also found someone that you have a ton of karma with. Just sayin'.....karma, wait for it....

sorry for your problems. BTW how fast can you run dude? you're seeing a chic that's seeing two guys! she's oversexed , indecisive and a slut. you're second fiddle, chair two, understudy and johhny come lately.

if she becomes pregnant or if any chic you go out with that's like her gets pregnant, you will be a ruined man. your life will be over with the first child support notice.

you will spend your whole life as a slave paying most of your income to government and to a woman who gets to treat you as a cash machine. "she won't get pregnant!" , bullshit!!!!

get a vasectomy dude, and all you other young guys , get a vasectomy before you get trapped as cash machine slaves. you are not going to lead a happy life , i can tell you.

don't believe the bullshit you get fed.

watch out for this chic, she don't have your best interests in her heart, she has her own best interest squarely up front. any decisions she makes will be her own, you may be involved but you won't be having any input except may your seed and then all your working days there after.

Eh....don't listen to these old farts that think everything is supposed to be a "Realationship"....yer 19, she's 18....just bounce each other off the walls wherever and when it happens it happens, and when it stops happening....so what it stopped, move on down the road. Don't over think it, fuck that bullshit drama, No glove no love, and see when I see ya. Have fun and enjoy your youth dude, and don't worry she is too....if ya do it any good, lol....;)

Wear a condom every single time.....

Slow down.

Fucking is not a relationship - it's just fun.

You don't REALLY know what she is doing w/the other guy. And it isn't any of your business.

Either (1)slow down, (2) stop seeing her, (3) or enjoy the ride carefully to avoid STDs. Or whatever else you can think of. But know that it probably isn't forever - and that is okay. Just enjoy and remain friends even after it is over.

Good luck. Enjoy your youth. Rock on.

When I was a vee bit younger at the best age, 19. I made every wrong decision with the member of the opposite sex.

You're way ahead of me *Vishuz at least you don't take control and you let her do what she wants.

Jealousy was an illness till I finally saw through the mystic and realized I was insecure, as so many young people are.

Rule for me...Don't get so excited over life. as I see ur doing

Hey D, if that girl doesn't go for you above a guy who doesn't seem to want to make love to her, she has something terribly wrong with her ; )

NO NO NO

Do not get a vasectomy until you are older and done having kids!

You can go to a doctor and ask what is everything that you can do to protect from getting a girl preg.

******

Other than that, he's kind of right. Your whole life will be tied to this girl if you have a baby with her. Girls have all the power. Guys get sucker punched by the law and by the girl in case of child support.

I have two sons and I hope my kids are never in the position of having a child and not being able to spend time with the child.

So far so good....

sorry this is about empowerment.

males can only have complete control over their reproductive rights by having a vasectomy. it's very hard to get approval for a vasectomy if your a young male but very easy to have an abortion for a female. why?

time now to empower men. all your lifes work earnings go to yourself, a very satisfactory outcome. wealth , happiness and good health are the natural outcome of a vasectomy.

more than 50% of marriage or realtionships end quickly if you don't measure up to a females demands. when she and she alone pulls the plug on you the government and the full force of law step in on her side. you then become a dead man walking, a zombie slave for the rest of your productive working life. you won't own a home ever, you will live on the edge of poverty untill you die. every penny you earn will be mercilessly split between your ex and the government, you will be left just enough for food and shelter of a minimum amount.

don't believe the bullshit people feed you. about love and happiness and family etc. that time is gone, done , finished, society changed and didn't bother telling boys about it!!!

get your vasectomy and lead the life others lead. they get to have their cake and it it too and so can you. just keep yourself out of their clutches by having a simple 10 min operation.

remember they are fukin lying to you all the time. look and see for yourself , lead your life the same way they lead theirs , in complete self centred indulgence. don't believe the bullshit that you have a duty or need to have a family. it's all total utter bullshit.

you will never miss what you never have. what you will miss is the complete despair and grinding horrors of a life of destituition and poverty governed by the soul destroying labour of working for food and subsistance.

it's bullshit through and through. others repeat the bullshit often, it still doesn't make it true , does it?

Put down the milkshake. Try Raspberry Yoghurt.

Trust me on this one.

But I'm enjoying the milkshake, why put it down?

o.O

You can bring yogurt on a plane, but a milkshake would be all melted and sticky...

On second thought - ditch the bitch, come fly Becky's Friendly Skies.

My milkshake brings all the boys in the yard?

What he said.