|
|
| Page 1, 2 |
Why Women Gladly Date Ugly Men (And Probably Even Prefer Them)
|
PrettyOne
User ID: 433870
5/16/2008 1:41 AM
Report abusive post | Why Women Gladly Date Ugly Men (And Probably Even Prefer Them)
| Quote |
Why Women Gladly Date Ugly Men (And Probably Even Prefer Them)
Posted May 15, 2008 | 08:29 AM (EST)
It's a pretty well known fact that most women - attractive women - will happily date ugly men. We see it on TV -- in shows like King of Queens, though I would probably argue that Kevin James is kind of a stud, and really, that's exactly the point I plan on making-- and we see it in our friends.
There are plenty of studies on this strangely anti-Darwinian phenomenon - studies which I think don't answer the question as well as I, with my oh-so-steadfast opinions, can, do, and will.
So let's talk about this. Let's talk about what exactly is wrong with these conventionally attractive men, and let's talk about what is right about these, well, conventionally un-attractive men.
Anecdotal evidence aside, I know for a fact that I don't find "hot" men attractive.* Let me clarify - I find them pleasing to the eye, and every so often quite tempting, but I don't find myself actually attracted to them. And here I have to admit that I am undoubtedly judging their books by their covers, but I have yet to find the exception to the rule.
To explain: These high-school hotties are used to having the sort of unadulterated, fawning adoration that the symmetrically blessed always get in high-school, but the problem is that it doesn't do them any good. In fact, it's fair to say that it categorically does them harm.
They're trained from a young age to be (often) unjustifiably self-assured, to eschew personality and affability for cocksure confidence, and to generally treat people like the feudal system is alive and kickin'.
Am I making a sweeping generalization? No doubt. Can the same argument be used against women? Sometimes. But I find that women are much more inclined to date with their emotions - to pick a man that is funny, comforting, kind, and generous - and they'll often pick one or all of those traits over his looks.
I also have a little (and relatively untested) theory. I believe that women tend to come into themselves -- appearance-wise -- much later in school than men. And because of this I think women tend to retain some memory of what it means to be liked (or disliked) for who one is, not how one looks.
The bottom line: Ask any woman who she'd rather have as her boyfriend -- the lovably awkward Albert Brennaman (aka Kevin James -- told you he was the crux of the arugment) from Hitch, or Hugh Grant's wholly irredeemable Daniel Cleaver from Bridget Jones' Diary?
So -- let's start here. Which one would you pick? Did I just set womankind back a generation? Or do you wholly agree? Please share. I'd love to hear your thoughts.
[Disclaimer: This post should in no way indicate that my boyfriend is ugly and/or unattractive. In fact, I find him rather dashing.]
More in Living... |
|
Beingsouthern 
User ID: 113248
5/16/2008 1:52 AM
 | | Re: Why Women Gladly Date Ugly Men (And Probably Even Prefer Them) | Quote |
Yep, Hugh Grant would have to go and I would have gladly chosen Mark Darcy. But, I must admit, Mr. Darcy is pretty easy on the eyes too.
I think younger women tend to be more attracted to the six pack and good looks, however after learning a thing or two, or as one gets older and has learned a few life lessons, she finds that.... honesty, loyalty, wit, charm, and overall personality become much more important and appealing.
Well, unless the man has a third eye or something simimlar. :)
"We are what we "pretend" to be, so we must be careful what we "pretend" to be." |
|
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 247512
5/16/2008 1:53 AM | | Re: Why Women Gladly Date Ugly Men (And Probably Even Prefer Them) | Quote |
money, status, security, stability. Those are some pretty good reasons. |
|
Beingsouthern
User ID: 113248
5/16/2008 1:54 AM
| | Re: Why Women Gladly Date Ugly Men (And Probably Even Prefer Them) | Quote |
money, status, security, stability. Those are some pretty good reasons. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 247512
Sorry...but been there, done that.
And it isn't all a bed of roses.
"We are what we "pretend" to be, so we must be careful what we "pretend" to be." |
|
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 247512
5/16/2008 1:56 AM | | Re: Why Women Gladly Date Ugly Men (And Probably Even Prefer Them) | Quote |
money, status, security, stability. Those are some pretty good reasons.
Sorry...but been there, done that.
And it isn't all a bed of roses. Quoting: Beingsouthern
So you would rather have a gorgeous man with no money or status rather than an ugly dude with a good job and good status?
I wouldn't. |
|
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 367687
5/16/2008 1:58 AM | | Re: Why Women Gladly Date Ugly Men (And Probably Even Prefer Them) | Quote |
money, status, security, stability. Those are some pretty good reasons.
Sorry...but been there, done that.
And it isn't all a bed of roses. Quoting: Beingsouthern
marlarky! |
|
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 367687
5/16/2008 1:59 AM | | Re: Why Women Gladly Date Ugly Men (And Probably Even Prefer Them) | Quote |
what about men who live at home with dad and don't work? do women like that? |
|
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 433791
5/16/2008 1:59 AM | | Re: Why Women Gladly Date Ugly Men (And Probably Even Prefer Them) | Quote |
there is no such thing as ugly. a guy a little stocky and short who is true and trying to get along is so amazingling beautiful. he may not have a lot of money or a six pack of abs but if he is true in his heart and soul and spirit he is so amazingly beautiful in a way that the carnally rich six packed beautiful according to societal standards guy isn't and can not be in eyes belonging to God love.
looks do not matter |
|
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 433772
5/16/2008 2:03 AM | | Re: Why Women Gladly Date Ugly Men (And Probably Even Prefer Them) | Quote |
Can the same argument be used against women? Sometimes. But I find that women are much more inclined to date with their emotions - to pick a man that is funny, comforting, kind, and generous - and they'll often pick one or all of those traits over his looks. Quoting: PrettyOne 433870
Quit lieing. The only man you'll find attractive is a man that you know you can't walk all over. The more he is able to put you in your place the deeper your love will be.
Now go get me a beer!
. |
|
Kevin Martin
User ID: 433384
5/16/2008 2:03 AM | |
Concerned Reader
User ID: 2457
5/16/2008 2:04 AM | | Re: Why Women Gladly Date Ugly Men (And Probably Even Prefer Them) | Quote |
what about men who live at home with dad and don't work? do women like that? Quoting: Anonymous Coward 367687
Any kind of living at home past 18 is kryptonite to women. |
|
Beingsouthern
User ID: 113248
5/16/2008 2:06 AM
| | Re: Why Women Gladly Date Ugly Men (And Probably Even Prefer Them) | Quote |
money, status, security, stability. Those are some pretty good reasons.
Sorry...but been there, done that.
And it isn't all a bed of roses.
So you would rather have a gorgeous man with no money or status rather than an ugly dude with a good job and good status?
I wouldn't. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 247512
I would rather have a man who can see beyond his own reflection in the mirror.
I just can't define gorgeous in looks alone ...it's a whole package that makes a man gorgeous.
Money & status just isn't all that, imho.
And that's another story entirely.
"We are what we "pretend" to be, so we must be careful what we "pretend" to be." |
|
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 290624
5/16/2008 2:08 AM | | Re: Why Women Gladly Date Ugly Men (And Probably Even Prefer Them) | Quote |
Let's face what the OP's article is not saying, that the girl will choose the ugly man as her companion, but cheat on him with the hot man, fucking the 'hot' dude behind her BF's back. |
|
Surcease
User ID: 432324
5/16/2008 2:10 AM
 | | Re: Why Women Gladly Date Ugly Men (And Probably Even Prefer Them) | Quote |
Let's face what the OP's article is not saying, that the girl will choose the ugly man as her companion, but cheat on him with the hot man, fucking the 'hot' dude behind her BF's back. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 290624
Not all women are that shallow.Absolute bollocks!
“All gods are homemade, and it is we who pull their strings, and so, give them the power to pull ours.” |
|
Surcease
User ID: 432324
5/16/2008 2:22 AM
| | Re: Why Women Gladly Date Ugly Men (And Probably Even Prefer Them) | Quote |
money, status, security, stability. Those are some pretty good reasons.
Sorry...but been there, done that.
And it isn't all a bed of roses.
So you would rather have a gorgeous man with no money or status rather than an ugly dude with a good job and good status?
I wouldn't.
I would rather have a man who can see beyond his own reflection in the mirror.
I just can't define gorgeous in looks alone ...it's a whole package that makes a man gorgeous.
Money & status just isn't all that, imho.
And that's another story entirely. Quoting: Beingsouthern
I do agree,It is about mind and soul/energy/essence and beyond that a true connection linking two individuals both spiritually along with deep chemistry.
This is where i do not relate to the general consensus for basing partnership, If they do not get a reaction from within me mentally and emotionally thats where it ends.Physical characteristics aren't dependent on the decision,I couldn't fathom how anyone could do so. Not ruling out physical attraction but is it not the mind and spirit that arouses the senses? Yes it is.
I find the article to be accurate in ways,given that physical attributes are not what sustains true relationships or what most women(i do hope) are looking for,But it still merely skimmed the surface of the truth.
Anyways,I could ramble on.But that is a portion of i think.
“All gods are homemade, and it is we who pull their strings, and so, give them the power to pull ours.” |
|
Smerk
User ID: 433867
5/16/2008 2:24 AM
 | | Re: Why Women Gladly Date Ugly Men (And Probably Even Prefer Them) | Quote |
Not all women are that shallow Quoting: Surcease
No, but they are stupid.
And so it begins... |
|
Surcease
User ID: 432324
5/16/2008 2:26 AM
| | Re: Why Women Gladly Date Ugly Men (And Probably Even Prefer Them) | Quote |
Not all women are that shallow
No, but they are stupid. Quoting: Smerk
Bwaha! This applies to the majority of the human race my friend.
“All gods are homemade, and it is we who pull their strings, and so, give them the power to pull ours.” |
|
Beingsouthern
User ID: 113248
5/16/2008 2:26 AM
| | Re: Why Women Gladly Date Ugly Men (And Probably Even Prefer Them) | Quote |
money, status, security, stability. Those are some pretty good reasons.
Sorry...but been there, done that.
And it isn't all a bed of roses.
So you would rather have a gorgeous man with no money or status rather than an ugly dude with a good job and good status?
I wouldn't.
I would rather have a man who can see beyond his own reflection in the mirror.
I just can't define gorgeous in looks alone ...it's a whole package that makes a man gorgeous.
Money & status just isn't all that, imho.
And that's another story entirely.
I do agree,It is about mind and soul/energy/essence and beyond that a true connection linking two individuals both spiritually along with deep chemistry.
This is where i do not relate to the general consensus for basing partnership, If they do not get a reaction from within me mentally and emotionally thats where it ends.Physical characteristics aren't dependent on the decision,I couldn't fathom how anyone could do so. Not ruling out physical attraction but is it not the mind and spirit that arouses the senses? Yes it is.
I find the article to be accurate in ways,given that physical attributes are not what sustains true relationships or what most women(i do hope) are looking for,But it still merely skimmed the surface of the truth.
Anyways,I could ramble on.But that is a portion of i think. Quoting: Surcease
Thank you!
While, I was stumbling all over the place...you said that quite nicely and summed it up beautifully.
I couldn't agree with you more.
:)
"We are what we "pretend" to be, so we must be careful what we "pretend" to be." |
|
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 433870 (OP)
5/16/2008 2:35 AM | | Re: Why Women Gladly Date Ugly Men (And Probably Even Prefer Them) | Quote |
 |
|
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 413608
5/16/2008 2:39 AM | | Re: Why Women Gladly Date Ugly Men (And Probably Even Prefer Them) | Quote |
there is no such thing as ugly. a guy a little stocky and short who is true and trying to get along is so amazingling beautiful. he may not have a lot of money or a six pack of abs but if he is true in his heart and soul and spirit he is so amazingly beautiful in a way that the carnally rich six packed beautiful according to societal standards guy isn't and can not be in eyes belonging to God love.
looks do not matter Quoting: Anonymous Coward 433791
most men look like ogres , hairy plump beasts that talk rude and smell......
I like a good looking well spoken intelligent man. How ever I have never found a man who could take care of me, Im talented, make money from my talent, teach, Im fit, pretty and educated.
Just trying to find an equal. |
|
Rota
User ID: 433772
5/16/2008 2:46 AM
 | | Re: Why Women Gladly Date Ugly Men (And Probably Even Prefer Them) | Quote |
I like a good looking well spoken intelligent man. How ever I have never found a man who could take care of me, Im talented, make money from my talent, teach, Im fit, pretty and educated.
Just trying to find an equal. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 413608
So you are conceited and full of yourself. Sounds like you'll be an old maid when you get old. |
|
Hannibal
User ID: 430264
5/16/2008 3:16 AM | | Re: Why Women Gladly Date Ugly Men (And Probably Even Prefer Them) | Quote |
most men look like ogres , hairy plump beasts that talk rude and smell......
I like a good looking well spoken intelligent man. How ever I have never found a man who could take care of me, Im talented, make money from my talent, teach, Im fit, pretty and educated.
Just trying to find an equal. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 413608
In other words you're "special"...lol. |
|
Kevin Martin
User ID: 433384
5/16/2008 3:17 AM | | Re: Why Women Gladly Date Ugly Men (And Probably Even Prefer Them) | Quote |
I love hot mommas |
|
Surcease
User ID: 432324
5/16/2008 3:19 AM
| | Re: Why Women Gladly Date Ugly Men (And Probably Even Prefer Them) | Quote |
money, status, security, stability. Those are some pretty good reasons.
Sorry...but been there, done that.
And it isn't all a bed of roses.
So you would rather have a gorgeous man with no money or status rather than an ugly dude with a good job and good status?
I wouldn't.
I would rather have a man who can see beyond his own reflection in the mirror.
I just can't define gorgeous in looks alone ...it's a whole package that makes a man gorgeous.
Money & status just isn't all that, imho.
And that's another story entirely.
I do agree,It is about mind and soul/energy/essence and beyond that a true connection linking two individuals both spiritually along with deep chemistry.
This is where i do not relate to the general consensus for basing partnership, If they do not get a reaction from within me mentally and emotionally thats where it ends.Physical characteristics aren't dependent on the decision,I couldn't fathom how anyone could do so. Not ruling out physical attraction but is it not the mind and spirit that arouses the senses? Yes it is.
I find the article to be accurate in ways,given that physical attributes are not what sustains true relationships or what most women(i do hope) are looking for,But it still merely skimmed the surface of the truth.
Anyways,I could ramble on.But that is a portion of i think.
Thank you!
While, I was stumbling all over the place...you said that quite nicely and summed it up beautifully.
I couldn't agree with you more.
:) Quoting: Beingsouthern
Why thank you Southern.
“All gods are homemade, and it is we who pull their strings, and so, give them the power to pull ours.” |
|
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 367687
5/16/2008 3:22 AM | | Re: Why Women Gladly Date Ugly Men (And Probably Even Prefer Them) | Quote |
sow hat about guys who live at home and are 27?
i lived on my own for 4 years..but live at home again..is this a problem in a womens eye in america?
it seems other cultures have a diffrent view, like in the far east..most live at home up into the late 20's and it is normal and not looked down upon. In our land, if you aint out by 20..you are scum and a loser..kind of sad imo. |
|
Kevin Martin
User ID: 433384
5/16/2008 3:24 AM | | Re: Why Women Gladly Date Ugly Men (And Probably Even Prefer Them) | Quote |
I don't live with my parents. I'm rich and I enjoy life. I help others and It's just good.
I don't blame some for living with their parents. The economy today sucks for most people and It's like a safer thing to survive helping out with living with your "trusted" family. |
|
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 367687
5/16/2008 3:26 AM | | Re: Why Women Gladly Date Ugly Men (And Probably Even Prefer Them) | Quote |
Im not poor..
you assume to much
i make about 47k a year. But i chose to move back in to save up money for some various reasons..
nothing wrong with it..i pay rent though..but only half what i was on my old condo..it's just plain out of hand anymore. |
|
Irdooomed
User ID: 433915
5/16/2008 3:41 AM | | Re: Why Women Gladly Date Ugly Men (And Probably Even Prefer Them) | Quote |
Let's face what the OP's article is not saying, that the girl will choose the ugly man as her companion, but cheat on him with the hot man, fucking the 'hot' dude behind her BF's back.
Not all women are that shallow.Absolute bollocks! Quoting: Surcease
Enough women are like that, to cause nearly all the guys the OP is talking about, to go chasing Russian or Asian brides. That's why there's so many 30ish women that are leftovers.
Sure, she's had fun, but the guys that are "hot" are chasing younger women. The guys that aren't "hot" can be found at [link to www.russianbrides.com]
Realistically, many American women over 30 would have a better chance of finding a guy, if they moved to Russia!
Die dorrar die!
Suicide is the solution to all of life's problems!
Therefore, whoever wishes for peace, let him prepare for war.
Woodchucks disapprove of melting penguins !. |
|
Kevin Martin
User ID: 433384
5/16/2008 3:43 AM | | Re: Why Women Gladly Date Ugly Men (And Probably Even Prefer Them) | Quote |
I didn't say you were poor.
I said It's common now no matter what due to economy and safe reasons. |
|
Insomnia
User ID: 432584
5/16/2008 3:46 AM
 | | Re: Why Women Gladly Date Ugly Men (And Probably Even Prefer Them) | Quote |
everyone has their own taste anyways, and people grow on you when you fall in love.
i can't find a good looking guy appealing if he can't make me laugh or is too serious.
i'd rather have a regular guy who is smart and funny.
actually dated a guy who lived with his parents, they were quite a bit older and sick and he took care of the house. he was really funny and cute. to me anyway. |
|
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 433924
5/16/2008 4:22 AM | | Re: Why Women Gladly Date Ugly Men (And Probably Even Prefer Them) | Quote |
on the east coast there are 2 women to every man-so the gals PREFER a not too hot a guy-hoping he will be appreciative with all the other wolverines stalking
on the west coast its different-1.5 men to every woman-so its tougher out here-all the women are stuck up shits with a "show me" JAP attitude |
|
| Page 1, 2 |
|
