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My new girlfriend and oral sex
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 434388
5/17/2008 1:27 AM | | Re: My new girlfriend and oral sex | Quote |
You mean ask her to perform the fellatio act? I really don`t think I could ask her to do this. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 433358
You sound like a prude Mr Less Than Studly. I doubt your girlfriend will hang around much longer if you can't perform a basic part of lovemaking. |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 272356
5/17/2008 1:38 AM | | Re: My new girlfriend and oral sex | Quote |
Eat out a hole that pee comes out of, has a bloody period, has yeast infections, has bacterial infections, general discharges, and has past live birth out of (baby coming out- with placenta ) !????????
OH HELL NO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 434396
5/17/2008 1:54 AM | | Re: My new girlfriend and oral sex | Quote |
Dont worry. Jesus is cumming soon. |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 331956
5/17/2008 2:17 AM | | Re: My new girlfriend and oral sex | Quote |
Roast beef : its whats for dinner |
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Reptilecus
User ID: 249032
5/17/2008 2:31 AM | | Re: My new girlfriend and oral sex | Quote |
I can't tell you how to do it - as I've never performed it. Maybe some of the guys on the board can give you some advice. As a woman, I can say - receiving it is my favorite extracurricular activity, with intercourse being 2nd. Quoting: Enaid
The whole trick is to duplicate the motions that a woman makes while masturbating, except with your mouth, so get her to show you how she masturbates first, and then duplicate her location and rythm.
Another substantial trick is to make sure your lips and tongue are operating independently - ideally light sucking motions with your lips while your tongue diddles seperately, sometimes gently entering and withdrawing the 'clitoral hood'(that tunnel thingie) if hers is the kind that's swollen up inside iy even when erect. -light- touch.
Another good one is to put your face sideways, grasp that 'tunnel' with your lips sideways, vibrate your head back and forth sideways, while your tongue is in the middle doing stuff seperate. If she tries moving away from your face, the pressure is not light enough. Think speed of vibration, not pressure. If she needs more pressure you will know because she will pull your face against her harder. If this happens, loosen the stiffness in your neck and concentrate on yielding to her placement of your face while maintaining the micro-vibrating independent tongue motion.
A good 25 minute 'triathlon' on a woman is to do the above until she cums, then repeat it with finger penetration until her second climax, then a third circuit in which you grasp her clitoris between thumb and index finger, next two fingers inside her, pinkie petting around her anus in circular poking but not penetrating, jiggling her clitoral area against your toungue, which WILL be cramped by now just like your neck so your hand WILL have to do the work, jiggling in the tinyest micro-vibrations you can manage, imitating a vibrator. If the inserted fingers can somehow touch the backside of the clitoral area(the so called "G-Spot") from inside, then you will be an extra big hero.
Just out of curiousity, how many GLP babes want to sit on my face and marry me after reading this? |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 213917
5/17/2008 3:00 AM | | Re: My new girlfriend and oral sex | Quote |
Just out of curiousity, how many GLP babes want to sit on my face and marry me after reading this? Quoting: Reptilecus 249032
 for a great post
Pick Me!
Wow, whadda read! |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 434401
5/17/2008 3:05 AM | | Re: My new girlfriend and oral sex | Quote |
I learned cunnilingus by practicing on a female sheep. Now that was THE GOOD STUFF.
Also, does your girlfriend like donkey dong?
(get it? it rhymes with "donkey kong") |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 331956
5/17/2008 3:08 AM | | Re: My new girlfriend and oral sex | Quote |
I can't tell you how to do it - as I've never performed it. Maybe some of the guys on the board can give you some advice. As a woman, I can say - receiving it is my favorite extracurricular activity, with intercourse being 2nd.
The whole trick is to duplicate the motions that a woman makes while masturbating, except with your mouth, so get her to show you how she masturbates first, and then duplicate her location and rythm.
Another substantial trick is to make sure your lips and tongue are operating independently - ideally light sucking motions with your lips while your tongue diddles seperately, sometimes gently entering and withdrawing the 'clitoral hood'(that tunnel thingie) if hers is the kind that's swollen up inside iy even when erect. -light- touch.
Another good one is to put your face sideways, grasp that 'tunnel' with your lips sideways, vibrate your head back and forth sideways, while your tongue is in the middle doing stuff seperate. If she tries moving away from your face, the pressure is not light enough. Think speed of vibration, not pressure. If she needs more pressure you will know because she will pull your face against her harder. If this happens, loosen the stiffness in your neck and concentrate on yielding to her placement of your face while maintaining the micro-vibrating independent tongue motion.
A good 25 minute 'triathlon' on a woman is to do the above until she cums, then repeat it with finger penetration until her second climax, then a third circuit in which you grasp her clitoris between thumb and index finger, next two fingers inside her, pinkie petting around her anus in circular poking but not penetrating, jiggling her clitoral area against your toungue, which WILL be cramped by now just like your neck so your hand WILL have to do the work, jiggling in the tinyest micro-vibrations you can manage, imitating a vibrator. If the inserted fingers can somehow touch the backside of the clitoral area(the so called "G-Spot") from inside, then you will be an extra big hero.
Just out of curiousity, how many GLP babes want to sit on my face and marry me after reading this? Quoting: Reptilecus 249032
good description...Ive got my own techniques but the anal thing is off limits to me
Ive been squirted on..its quite a WTF moment |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 433489
5/17/2008 3:17 AM | | Re: My new girlfriend and oral sex | Quote |
Just out of curiousity, how many GLP babes want to sit on my face and marry me after reading this?
for a great post
Pick Me!
Wow, whadda read!
Try coming in on a proxy ya fat fuck.
No one but a puss festering skank will want to shuffle on your unshaven burp hole.
Man, I won't eat pussy older than 25 that's the limit.
Go take your smelly skank elsewhere. |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 432071
5/17/2008 3:20 AM | | Re: My new girlfriend and oral sex | Quote |
You must be gay... Lap that shit up. I'll swallow anything that comes out of a nice clean one, even baby... the other other white meat.
Start slow, then just ramp the sucking up until she is ripping your ears off! |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 434401
5/17/2008 3:21 AM | | Re: My new girlfriend and oral sex | Quote |
o_o GROSS! |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 432071
5/17/2008 3:24 AM | | Re: My new girlfriend and oral sex | Quote |
You have to come at her and be like "I wanna drink your bath water.." |
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BadMoonRising
User ID: 373223
5/17/2008 3:25 AM | | Re: My new girlfriend and oral sex | Quote |
"If you can keep giving head whilst all around you men are failing to do their oral duty - then you'll be a man my son"
Kipling (the writer not the cake dude) |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 331956
5/17/2008 3:26 AM | | Re: My new girlfriend and oral sex | Quote |
Just out of curiousity, how many GLP babes want to sit on my face and marry me after reading this?
for a great post
Pick Me!
Wow, whadda read!
Try coming in on a proxy ya fat fuck.
No one but a puss festering skank will want to shuffle on your unshaven burp hole.
Man, I won't eat pussy older than 25 that's the limit.
Go take your smelly skank elsewhere.
you lie..if presented unto your face you would lap it up
all males are alike. |
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Anonimna Kučka
User ID: 434433
5/17/2008 3:28 AM | | Re: My new girlfriend and oral sex | Quote |
you're pathetic. have you ever been wtth a woman before??. not. thought so. |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 434401
5/17/2008 3:35 AM | | Re: My new girlfriend and oral sex | Quote |
you're pathetic. have you ever been wtth a woman before??. not. thought so. Quoting: Anonimna Kučka 434433
Don't bullshit me. Now take me to your mother, please! |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 432071
5/17/2008 3:35 AM | | Re: My new girlfriend and oral sex | Quote |
you're pathetic. have you ever been wtth a woman before??. not. thought so. Quoting: Anonimna Kučka 434433
You are either a woman that hasn't had a real man, just some sissies. Or you are a boy. |
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anonomous
User ID: 434413
5/17/2008 3:39 AM | | Re: My new girlfriend and oral sex | Quote |
would u drink from a shit ditch..microbes fungus in folds of vagina will not wash off from bathing..use protection ..save your health to earn a living...gingavitis is a transferable gum desease and you pass it to your spouse ..get real..why risk your self and someone you profess to love...............sex still transfers your future fatigue and aches and pain or worse..miningits is from strep throat..what did you come in contact with to get strep throat -kissing ..dirty resturant dishes..unproteded sex. get our head outa your ass litterally..u would never go drink ditch water.. |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 434132
5/17/2008 3:43 AM | | Re: My new girlfriend and oral sex | Quote |
we all should tell him not to have sex how many of us wish we would have waited and now are with women we dont want to be with or paying child support for some lil bad ass kid!!!! |
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Chesire
User ID: 394698
5/17/2008 3:44 AM | | Re: My new girlfriend and oral sex | Quote |
Hey OPTARD you should do the right thing here . Teach her to suck cock reall good. So that way she can get something warm in her stomach when the world collapses soon. |
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Reptilecus
User ID: 249032
5/17/2008 3:52 AM | | Re: My new girlfriend and oral sex | Quote |
Just out of curiousity, how many GLP babes want to sit on my face and marry me after reading this?
for a great post
Pick Me!
Wow, whadda read!
-----------------------------------
Try coming in on a proxy ya fat fuck.
No one but a puss festering skank will want to shuffle on your unshaven burp hole.
Man, I won't eat pussy older than 25 that's the limit.
Go take your smelly skank elsewhere.
------------------------------------
Look AC489 that was just plain mean and wasn't even warranted or provoked in any way. This was a nice good quality woman with a good heart that recognized a *Man* that had what all women want, a *MAN*, an attentive man, and instead of taking a lesson how you could be a man too, you had to try to make her feel bad for wanting a real man instead of a closet homo like you, that couldn't get hard without a crowbar up his dick. I swear I hope you didn't hurt her feelings like the frustrated little homo that you are. Go "work out at the gym" with all your homo buddies, because the women are MINE. |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 249032
5/17/2008 3:55 AM | | Re: My new girlfriend and oral sex | Quote |
Hey OPTARD you should do the right thing here . Teach her to suck cock reall good. So that way she can get something warm in her stomach when the world collapses soon. Quoting: Chesire
And yet you're still single. Omfg what are the odds |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 331956
5/17/2008 3:56 AM | | Re: My new girlfriend and oral sex | Quote |
this thread is getting gross |
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sorry
User ID: 425546
5/17/2008 5:39 AM | | Re: My new girlfriend and oral sex | Quote |
son. Since you mention a "YOUNG" gf,
I have to agree with this line:
"dont worry , she will be moving on soon ."
lol. I've been with several dozen women, some long time lovers, girlfriends, wive,
Oral sex is great. Clean her off with a washcloth, and get over it,
the things you can do with her, and if I wanted to I could tell you a secret that will give her orgasims for up to an hour and she would scream her head off and you would be one out of thousand.
It took me a few years to get over the sex is dirty thing but once you discover that sex is sex, and there are tricks to enhance, with some women, far far beyond what you would ever expect............
Even if she doesn't stay, she would remember you forever, even to the next life..........
I don't know what else to say, lives go on, even to the next and the next after that.
Practice your skills, get over the little boy urine thing, it is a skill and a pleasure to please an be pleased.
Good luck get over it. |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 434532
5/17/2008 8:52 AM | | Re: My new girlfriend and oral sex | Quote |
Just remember...You are not a man until you split a Black Oak! |
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Ignatius J. Reilly
User ID: 434517
5/17/2008 8:59 AM | | Re: My new girlfriend and oral sex | Quote |
I have begun courting a young lady for some while now and recently our feelings have deepened and we have slept together a few times.
The relationship is loving and trusting and I have to say that I really like making love with her but I can`t bring myself to perform oral sex with her.It seems wrong to kiss a part of the body that is used for passing urine.It has caused some arguments as she won`t see my point of view that it is sinful and disgusting.How can I make her see it`s wrong and sinful ? Quoting: From Utah 433358
It's not sinful, lol. Maybe a bit gross.
Do what I do, rub a fucking cheeseburger or cinnamon bun all over her area, if she protests say 'BITCH YOU WANT THIS HEAD O NOT!!!!!!!???" She'll comply. And you'll enjoy it more. |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 269684
5/17/2008 9:31 AM | | Re: My new girlfriend and oral sex | Quote |
Eat out a hole that pee comes out of, has a bloody period, has yeast infections, has bacterial infections, general discharges, and has past live birth out of (baby coming out- with placenta ) !????????
OH HELL NO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Quoting: Anonymous Coward 272356
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 432121
5/17/2008 9:44 AM | | Re: My new girlfriend and oral sex | Quote |
There's more to life than sex.
(Next stop page 5.) |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 383944
5/19/2008 8:34 AM | | Re: My new girlfriend and oral sex | Quote |
it's pretty clear that most glp denizens/mods are CRAP IN BED and also closet homos for not knowing how to love a woman |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 105464
5/19/2008 9:12 AM | | Re: My new girlfriend and oral sex | Quote |
OP, it doesn't say anything in the bible about oral sex being sinful, so quit talking bullshit and get to work down there.
Like others have said, if you don't lose those hangups she'll go somewhere else to get serviced. |
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