What kind of cucumber are you, how can you measure the distance between the house you live in to you're neighbor's house across the street without physically measuring it?

Surveying Equipment does precisely that thing. Not only that, I have an Infrared Thermometer that can tell me the temperature of the surface of my neighbors house.



Not unless you have another cucumber standing at the end of the distance being measured hold the recieving end of those equipments.

And as for you're thermometer stick it in Uranus and see how hot it is from Earth!