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HOW DO I FIND MY LOCAL SATANIC CULT?

 
necronomical
User ID: 448182
Canada
06/09/2008 09:26 PM
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HOW DO I FIND MY LOCAL SATANIC CULT?
I'm interested in finding my local chapter of the cult of amon or whatever satanic cult it is. I don't know whether I will join or kill them all, I guess I'll see when I find them.

So anyone got any ideas? Anyone ever found their local chapter?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 319899
United States
06/09/2008 09:39 PM
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Re: HOW DO I FIND MY LOCAL SATANIC CULT?
Look under "Local Satanic cult" in the telephone book, or go to Switchboard and type it in.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 419016
United States
06/09/2008 09:41 PM
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Re: HOW DO I FIND MY LOCAL SATANIC CULT?
Try meetup.com
Only Me
...there is no you

User ID: 439990
United States
06/09/2008 09:42 PM

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Re: HOW DO I FIND MY LOCAL SATANIC CULT?
dead3Pretty sure you'll burn in hell if you join dead3

anger anger anger anger anger
Here is where I look back.
Here is where you fell.
This is where I got up,
Shaking off my tail
This is where your rope trick
Started to look stale.
A greyhound pass for the boy in the well.

Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 448182
Canada
06/09/2008 09:43 PM
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Re: HOW DO I FIND MY LOCAL SATANIC CULT?
Try meetup.com
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 419016

lmao If only it were that easy! These people hide well, and don't advertise. Pesky devil worshippers!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 449002
United States
06/09/2008 09:43 PM
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Re: HOW DO I FIND MY LOCAL SATANIC CULT?
Put a picture of jesus on your door and under it write this guy is a dork.
Then when the jesus people come to kick your ass. You'll be face to face with the ones your looking for.

It's funny how that works huh?

True jesus people will never come kick your ass.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 446703
United States
06/09/2008 09:43 PM
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Re: HOW DO I FIND MY LOCAL SATANIC CULT?
Apply at City Hall.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 448182
Canada
06/09/2008 09:46 PM
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Re: HOW DO I FIND MY LOCAL SATANIC CULT?
Pretty sure you'll burn in hell if you join


 Quoting: Only Me

Indeed, if such a place exists.

Or, are we already in hell and just don't know it?

Perhaps we already burn...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 446703
United States
06/09/2008 09:46 PM
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Re: HOW DO I FIND MY LOCAL SATANIC CULT?
---------->>Don't call us we'll call you. agent
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 448182
Canada
06/09/2008 09:48 PM
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Re: HOW DO I FIND MY LOCAL SATANIC CULT?
---------->>Don't call us we'll call you. agent
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 446703

Awesome, that makes things a lot easier, thanks! I BE WAITING! AND THE NECRONOMICON WILL BE MINE!! AAAAAHH!!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 362074
New Zealand
06/09/2008 09:48 PM
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Re: HOW DO I FIND MY LOCAL SATANIC CULT?
I don't know whether I will join or kill them all, I guess I'll see when I find them.

 Quoting: necronomical 448182

Wrong attitude. You only get to kill fellow satanists AFTER you've been a long time member.
Speaking of "members" you'll need to develope a taste for being reamed on a regular basis by large hairy men with bald heads.
Commit a felony, go to prison and bitch your way up the heirarchy is my advice.
The penal system is a good source of recruits.
The upper levels are only for those with The Blood.
You're just a dog.
Siriusly.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 448182
Canada
06/09/2008 09:51 PM
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Re: HOW DO I FIND MY LOCAL SATANIC CULT?
I don't know whether I will join or kill them all, I guess I'll see when I find them.


Wrong attitude. You only get to kill fellow satanists AFTER you've been a long time member.
Speaking of "members" you'll need to develope a taste for being reamed on a regular basis by large hairy men with bald heads.
Commit a felony, go to prison and bitch your way up the heirarchy is my advice.
The penal system is a good source of recruits.
The upper levels are only for those with The Blood.
You're just a dog.
Siriusly.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 362074

Who says I will become a member before I take them out? Perhaps I will stealthily take them out in their everyday lives, away from their devil potions and idols.

Ah fuck it, I think i'll just get high and watch a movie. Perhaps some Evil Dead is in order?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 304696
United States
06/09/2008 09:55 PM
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Re: HOW DO I FIND MY LOCAL SATANIC CULT?
:Werewolf:

The ones doing their job, doing what they were meant to do, are invisible. You'd never even know they were here.

But the other ones...

Well, you hear about them all the time.




Every time you heard someone say they saw a ghost or an angel,...
every story you ever heard about vampires, werewolves, or aliens...

is the system assimilating some program that's doing something they are not supposed to be doing.




Call 1-800-MORMONS

or 1-800-ZIONNNN
redrum
User ID: 449008
United States
06/09/2008 10:11 PM
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Re: HOW DO I FIND MY LOCAL SATANIC CULT?
Take the Highway to Hell exit, take a right on Sacrificial Street, take a left on Devil's Way. It's between the Red Roof Inn and TGI Friday's and across the street from the Red Cross. There will be a sign that says, "Hot in Herre #666."
anonymous coward
User ID: 435795
United States
06/09/2008 10:11 PM
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Re: HOW DO I FIND MY LOCAL SATANIC CULT?
It will be tough to find one as they don't exist. There are 350,000 US churches stealing billions every week from their brainwashed flock of dumbed down sheep, but there is not one church collecting money for the devil anywherein the world.

God (the parasite preachers) has to have your money and he still doesn't do a fucking thing. Nada zilch zero. The devil is always kicking the dog shit out of god anyway. God is the most inefficient slimy piece of crap ever created by man.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 362074
New Zealand
06/09/2008 10:16 PM
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Re: HOW DO I FIND MY LOCAL SATANIC CULT?
It will be tough to find one as they don't exist. There are 350,000 US churches stealing billions every week from their brainwashed flock of dumbed down sheep.
 Quoting: anonymous coward 435795

So whaddya think those churches really are?
Hiding in the open is a very effective strategy.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 304696
United States
06/09/2008 10:29 PM
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Re: HOW DO I FIND MY LOCAL SATANIC CULT?
What happens if I fail?

Then Zion will fall.

:Werewolf:


Anonymous Coward
User ID: 434707
United States
06/09/2008 10:37 PM
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Re: HOW DO I FIND MY LOCAL SATANIC CULT?
They recruit and hide among the fanatically religious.

Attend a rightwing fundamentalist church, or several until you notice those overtly zealous, but secretly mocking.
Facial expressions are not always closely guarded.
Watch TBN to learn what I mean.

Also they will recruit and hide amongst the ultra right.

Read web comments bashing the book "Michelle Remembers"
They will likely be satanists desperately trying to keep people from believing what's in the book.

Same with people denigrating the idea of satanic ritual abuse
google: "SRA"

Those most zealously rediculing that are also likely to be satanists desperately trying to keep people from realizing it's going on around them.

eg: Part 1: How widespread is
Satanic/sadistic ritual abuse (SRA)?
[link to www.religioustolerance.org]

Amazon.com: Michelle Remembers
www.amazon.com/Michelle-Remembers-Smith/dp/0671694332
Published in 1980

Prophecy spoken during a ritual black mass, quoted in the book;
Predicted in startling detail the 2000 election FLordia recount:

quote: "December 2000:
While watching a Florida election official posturing for the TV cameras,
by holding ballots up to the light and turning them about,
I got an urge to dig this book from the shelves.

Sure enough there was a prediction of election 2000 on page 236!

A prediction made by Satan himself! (in 1955)

"There are numbers I despise,
But I know them and they make me wise.
I know what numbers are all about;
I count them carefully, I turn them about.
Six upside down
Helps me put on my crown."

Did the turmoil of that election contest play into Satan's plan?

Many even more worrisome events are prophesied
in the pages of this book...."/quote
Review at page 5 of customer reviews.
I verified the prophecy quoted is there word for word.

6 upside down

Six Supreme Court Justices turned a lifetime of decisions upside down as five states' rights conservatives ruled FL courts were incapable of interpreting FL election laws and one federalism liberal decided to leave it to the state of FL to interpret FL laws.
Satan supposedly loves speaking with double meanings!
Supreme Court Justices are 9 in number; "Six upside down"
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 437876
Canada
06/09/2008 10:57 PM
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Re: HOW DO I FIND MY LOCAL SATANIC CULT?
Put an ad in the Wanted section of your local newspaper.
hoot no more/hasheater
User ID: 449044
United States
06/09/2008 11:40 PM
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Re: HOW DO I FIND MY LOCAL SATANIC CULT?
go tip over some pointy gravestones and watch
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 311582
United States
06/09/2008 11:46 PM
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Re: HOW DO I FIND MY LOCAL SATANIC CULT?
If you see a lot of male goats around outside a house, then you'll find your local Satanic club.


hiding
Frigg Stuyvesant

User ID: 398933
United States
06/10/2008 01:06 AM
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Re: HOW DO I FIND MY LOCAL SATANIC CULT?
Nudist colonies...with funny names.
Cui Bono?
Master Iddo the Prophet
User ID: 386599
United States
06/10/2008 01:07 AM
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Re: HOW DO I FIND MY LOCAL SATANIC CULT?
Apply at City Hall.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 446703

bump bump bump bump bump bump bump Idol1 bump
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 429194
United States
06/10/2008 01:10 AM
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Re: HOW DO I FIND MY LOCAL SATANIC CULT?
Too late, the Bilderburg meeting just happened.
IDDO the PROPHET
User ID: 386599
United States
06/10/2008 01:10 AM
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Re: HOW DO I FIND MY LOCAL SATANIC CULT?
Apply at City Hall.

bump bump bump bump bump bump bump Idol1 bump
 Quoting: Master Iddo the Prophet 386599

EVIL CROOKS, STUPID ATHIESTS; GAYS & LESBIANS, YOU BOUND TO FIND A SATANIC CULT MEMBERS!!! APPLY AT CITY HALL! COMPLY! COMPLY! NOW! DO IT! OR GO TO JAIL!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 440752
Germany
06/10/2008 01:56 AM
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Re: HOW DO I FIND MY LOCAL SATANIC CULT?
I'm interested in finding my local chapter of the cult of amon or whatever satanic cult it is. I don't know whether I will join or kill them all, I guess I'll see when I find them.

So anyone got any ideas? Anyone ever found their local chapter?
 Quoting: necronomical 448182


What area do you live in? There are quite a few options depending on where you live. The usual path is to join a magickal lodge and work your way into the inner order, but there are left-hand path schools that will start you off on a dark path from the beginning but most do not advertise of course.

Once a member though, there is no way out again...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 406027
06/10/2008 02:12 AM
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Re: HOW DO I FIND MY LOCAL SATANIC CULT?
LOOK UNDER 'CHURCHES', IN YOUR PHONEBOOK. ALL OF THEM ARE SATANIC, IDOL WORSHIPPERS.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 108418
United States
06/10/2008 07:53 PM
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Re: HOW DO I FIND MY LOCAL SATANIC CULT?
do a search for a local grotto.
pay your hundred.
relax.
marcus Holmberg
User ID: 6234578
Sweden
11/29/2011 11:26 AM
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Re: HOW DO I FIND MY LOCAL SATANIC CULT?
after reading all commentarres i just wish you people would fucking die..

give the guys a break, he asked a serious question....

think he deserves a straight answer.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 5438839
United States
11/29/2011 11:34 AM
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Re: HOW DO I FIND MY LOCAL SATANIC CULT?
go to the nearest church. it's all one.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 6230340
United States
11/29/2011 11:37 AM
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Re: HOW DO I FIND MY LOCAL SATANIC CULT?
Put a picture of jesus on your door and under it write this guy is a dork.
Then when the jesus people come to kick your ass. You'll be face to face with the ones your looking for.

It's funny how that works huh?

True jesus people will never come kick your ass.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 449002


Put a picture of jesus on your door and under it write this guy is a dork.
Then when the jesus people come to kick your ass. You'll be face to face with the ones your looking for.

It's funny how that works huh?

True jesus people will never come kick your ass.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 449002


leave your infant out on the front porch overnight

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