HOW DO I FIND MY LOCAL SATANIC CULT?

Look under "Local Satanic cult" in the telephone book, or go to Switchboard and type it in.

Try meetup.com

Pretty sure you'll burn in hell if you join

:anger: :anger: :anger: :anger: :anger:

If only it were that easy! These people hide well, and don't advertise. Pesky devil worshippers!

Put a picture of jesus on your door and under it write this guy is a dork.
Then when the jesus people come to kick your ass. You'll be face to face with the ones your looking for.

It's funny how that works huh?

True jesus people will never come kick your ass.

Apply at City Hall.

Indeed, if such a place exists.

Or, are we already in hell and just don't know it?

Perhaps we already burn...

---------->>Don't call us we'll call you.

Awesome, that makes things a lot easier, thanks! I BE WAITING! AND THE NECRONOMICON WILL BE MINE!! AAAAAHH!!

Wrong attitude. You only get to kill fellow satanists AFTER you've been a long time member.
Speaking of "members" you'll need to develope a taste for being reamed on a regular basis by large hairy men with bald heads.
Commit a felony, go to prison and bitch your way up the heirarchy is my advice.
The penal system is a good source of recruits.
The upper levels are only for those with The Blood.
You're just a dog.
Siriusly.

Who says I will become a member before I take them out? Perhaps I will stealthily take them out in their everyday lives, away from their devil potions and idols.

Ah fuck it, I think i'll just get high and watch a movie. Perhaps some Evil Dead is in order?

:Werewolf:

The ones doing their job, doing what they were meant to do, are invisible. You'd never even know they were here.

But the other ones...

Well, you hear about them all the time.




Every time you heard someone say they saw a ghost or an angel,...every story you ever heard about vampires, werewolves, or aliens...

is the system assimilating some program that's doing something they are not supposed to be doing.




Call 1-800-MORMONS

or 1-800-ZIONNNN

Take the Highway to Hell exit, take a right on Sacrificial Street, take a left on Devil's Way. It's between the Red Roof Inn and TGI Friday's and across the street from the Red Cross. There will be a sign that says, "Hot in Herre #666."

It will be tough to find one as they don't exist. There are 350,000 US churches stealing billions every week from their brainwashed flock of dumbed down sheep, but there is not one church collecting money for the devil anywherein the world.

God (the parasite preachers) has to have your money and he still doesn't do a fucking thing. Nada zilch zero. The devil is always kicking the dog shit out of god anyway. God is the most inefficient slimy piece of crap ever created by man.

So whaddya think those churches really are?
Hiding in the open is a very effective strategy.

What happens if I fail?

Then Zion will fall.

:Werewolf:

They recruit and hide among the fanatically religious.

Attend a rightwing fundamentalist church, or several until you notice those overtly zealous, but secretly mocking.
Facial expressions are not always closely guarded.
Watch TBN to learn what I mean.

Also they will recruit and hide amongst the ultra right.

Read web comments bashing the book "Michelle Remembers"
They will likely be satanists desperately trying to keep people from believing what's in the book.

Same with people denigrating the idea of satanic ritual abuse
google: "SRA"

Those most zealously rediculing that are also likely to be satanists desperately trying to keep people from realizing it's going on around them.

eg: Part 1: How widespread is
Satanic/sadistic ritual abuse (SRA)?
[link to www.religioustolerance.org]

Amazon.com: Michelle Remembers
www.amazon.com/Michelle-Remembers-Smith/dp/0671694332
Published in 1980

Prophecy spoken during a ritual black mass, quoted in the book;
Predicted in startling detail the 2000 election FLordia recount:

quote: "December 2000:
While watching a Florida election official posturing for the TV cameras,
by holding ballots up to the light and turning them about,
I got an urge to dig this book from the shelves.

Sure enough there was a prediction of election 2000 on page 236!

A prediction made by Satan himself! (in 1955)

"There are numbers I despise,
But I know them and they make me wise.
I know what numbers are all about;
I count them carefully, I turn them about.
Six upside down
Helps me put on my crown."

Did the turmoil of that election contest play into Satan's plan?

Many even more worrisome events are prophesied
in the pages of this book...."/quote
Review at page 5 of customer reviews.
I verified the prophecy quoted is there word for word.

6 upside down

Six Supreme Court Justices turned a lifetime of decisions upside down as five states' rights conservatives ruled FL courts were incapable of interpreting FL election laws and one federalism liberal decided to leave it to the state of FL to interpret FL laws.
Satan supposedly loves speaking with double meanings!
Supreme Court Justices are 9 in number; "Six upside down"

Put an ad in the Wanted section of your local newspaper.

go tip over some pointy gravestones and watch

If you see a lot of male goats around outside a house, then you'll find your local Satanic club.

Nudist colonies...with funny names.

Too late, the Bilderburg meeting just happened.

EVIL CROOKS, STUPID ATHIESTS; GAYS & LESBIANS, YOU BOUND TO FIND A SATANIC CULT MEMBERS!!! APPLY AT CITY HALL! COMPLY! COMPLY! NOW! DO IT! OR GO TO JAIL!

What area do you live in? There are quite a few options depending on where you live. The usual path is to join a magickal lodge and work your way into the inner order, but there are left-hand path schools that will start you off on a dark path from the beginning but most do not advertise of course.

Once a member though, there is no way out again...

LOOK UNDER 'CHURCHES', IN YOUR PHONEBOOK. ALL OF THEM ARE SATANIC, IDOL WORSHIPPERS.

do a search for a local grotto.
pay your hundred.
relax.

after reading all commentarres i just wish you people would fucking die..

give the guys a break, he asked a serious question....

think he deserves a straight answer.

go to the nearest church. it's all one.

leave your infant out on the front porch overnight