You ever feel bad talking behind someone's back ?

This is a simple cure for this problem.

Don't talk about other people!

Unless inquired by someone else :P

Yeah, I do. However, I find the best remedy is to tell a person to his or her face what you think or what you've heard. Then it becomes unnecessary to "gossip" and thus feel badly or two-faced.

S.

From my experience i have never met one person in my life who didnt do it. Not even one time.

Yup true ....but you have to do it with well chosen words and very carefully lol

My family (mostly the adults) does it all the time. My aunts will talk crap about my grandmother, my mother will talk about my father. I stay as far away as I can from that. Which is why I do not voice my opinion about anyone in my family.

But I have very good friends, and only very good friends. So we don't have anything to say about each other that we don't already know about each other.

I make a concerted effort not to talk behind peoples' backs. I'm sure I probably slip - as I am human.

Yes. Diplomacy. For instance, say, "Would you want to know if I heard some disturbing news about you?"

Then they can decide. You tell what you've heard if they answer yes. You keep it to yourself if they answer no, but you don't spread it any further, either.

Or...if someone bugs you, say, "I feel confused and on edge when you (fill in the blank)." This way you are expressing yourself as the one who "feels" a certain way and you are not blaming them for the way you feel. You aren't saying, "You make me feel bugged out". Because, in truth, they can't MAKE you feel any certain way...YOU are feeling it. But you can point out specific behaviors and say how you feel when these behaviors are present.

S.

shuttup there he is

Yea get it all in the open. That helps. But people are still people.

I try not to, not even conciously, it's a natural resistance.

and when others talk(gossip) about people to me, behind their back, I don't contribute, I just listen

for the most part...

I strive to be forthrighteous, in doing so, I find confidence.

I beleive people underestimate the harm they cause to others and especially themselves, through the black magic of gossip

Then again, are you back stabbing a back stabber? Pay back is a bitch for them.

Gossip is an evil evil thing. Totally wicked. And gossip very rarely is totally true. Usually sprinkled with lots of lies.

Like i said no one is perfect in this area. Everyone i have found does it to some degree. Some degree. All we can do is be fools for self improvement : )

Gossip is tied to sex and jealousy and fate and all those emotionally insecure juicy things...

I dont feel bad because talking behind someones back is something that I dont practice.

Whenever I feel myself reaching to that point I consider these things.

1. It is a waste of energy and time. Do I want when recounting my life experience to have to endure repeatedly witnessing something that served no purpose.

2. If there is nothing good or meaningful to be said one should remain quiet

3. I do not and would not like someone to do the same thing to me

4. I choose not to comment on things that I am not knowledgeable of

5. I prefer not to dwell on negativity whether it concerns myself or others

6. It is a sign of weakness. Why would I feel the need t bring down another person? This is a good question to ask oneself.

7. I feel sick in the presence of people who do this and therefore should not create this kind of environment for others to experience a similar reaction.

There is no circumstance or situation where I think that this type of action is necessary. It is possible to highlight what we may consider negative characteristics of others but this can be done in light of learning from another person's experience. There is no need for the passing of judgment which is usually the context in which someone chooses to speak of another.

We should always question each action from the perspective of what purpose does it serve and how does it contribute to the good of myself, the good of all and to my own personal progress and growth.

You should never say anything about someone to someone else that you wouldnt say to thier face. Bitching about someone who really pisses you off because of thier constant only care about themselves attiude is one thing. The truth is what it is. Busting on them about every little imperfection is something else.
Only you know if you are venting or if you are bringing the person down to your level. Niether make you feel good. I think most of us are guilty.

To answer Sara and the weed person. I agree with both of you.

Sara it is tied to sex a lot.