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I need help believing I am not my education

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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 499298
9/7/2008 11:07 PM
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I need help believing I am not my education

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Hi, all. You are a wise bunch, so I need to talk about this and I hope someone can counsel me.

I am 6 courses, comps, and a dissertation away from a doctorate. However, I have a three hour (one-way) commute once a week for the next 2.5 years. I just had a baby six months ago, and I got very ill afterwards. I'm still not completely better, but I've thrown myself into work and continuing my education so I don't feel so awful, I guess.

Anyway, it struck me tonight, while I was having a panic attack about my work deadline, class, and an ill child that my life is controlled by school and work. I have to work, and I like my job. I'm thinking school needs to go--at least for right now. I want to be a good mom and a good employee--and I would like to have hobbies that don't include books!

The thing is, if I stop, I might not be readmitted in the future. I've always defined myself by my intelligence and what I COULD be. I'm afraid I don't know what I am, or if that's good enough. I' m basically having an identity crisis. Anybody else out there had the same struggle? I need to make a decision and be at peace with it. I'm 31, if that helps any.

Anonymous Coward
User ID: 497282
9/7/2008 11:16 PM

Re: I need help believing I am not my education	Quote
This is interesting. You are going for a doctorate, and you are on GLP asking counsel of the "wise bunch". What's wrong with this picture

Anonymous Coward
User ID: 498469
9/7/2008 11:20 PM

Re: I need help believing I am not my education

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Finish if you can, especially if you will have debt. There is nothing worse than signing away your income for a degree that you did not finish. But that comes from a woman with no children, nor a three hour one-way commute.

You have three major competing issues: child, work, degree. And don't forget yourself. What are your priorities? Can you take a year leave of absence?

I burned out in a Ph.D. program a few years ago (97 graded credits and two MAs later). In my discussion with the dean about going back, she made it clear that the student performance committee is a big hurdle. Of the 35 that have gone back in the last decade, only one has finished. I put off taking a stats class this fall as a re-entry option to deal with a chronically ill pet. It was a good decision, he's gone now and I can focus on what I need to do.

It can go either way if you quit - you will appreciate or regret it, depending on your mood, life/career stresses, and the wind.

It also depends how far along you are, and whether you might be able to apply to a different school or discipline and get credits transferred. If you haven't put a committee together or finished comps, you can probably pick up elsewhere, but you might have to take a few classes. If you are ok with relocating, your career could take you closer to a different school.

I wish you the best, this is a tough decision. Do what is best for you, your family, your health, and your finances.

Anonymous Coward
User ID: 498469
9/7/2008 11:22 PM

Re: I need help believing I am not my education	Quote
This is interesting. You are going for a doctorate, and you are on GLP asking counsel of the "wise bunch". What's wrong with this picture Quoting: Anonymous Coward 497282 I take it you haven't been here long. This is a wise bunch of folks, level of education is not relevant. Just know what threads to read, and how to read them.

Anonymous Coward
User ID: 271953
9/8/2008 12:16 AM

Re: I need help believing I am not my education	Quote
You need a personal assistant/nanny.

Mr. Predictor Subscriber

Forum Moderator
User ID: 287257
9/8/2008 12:18 AM

Re: I need help believing I am not my education

Quote

hitting the wall like you are is not uncommon

can you slow down a tiny bit ???

good luck

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is MOD when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

Anonymous Coward
User ID: 499331
9/8/2008 12:28 AM

Re: I need help believing I am not my education	Quote
Stick with it. I was in your position a number of years ago. Now I have a sweet tenure-track position. Push through. If you quit you will regret it always. Nothing sadder than the words it might have been.

gus
User ID: 498158
9/8/2008 12:30 AM

Re: I need help believing I am not my education

Quote

welcome to reality OP. everything that you do can only be done until a certain point, and this point is pleasure. once the pleasure ends, you become a slave and slowly dies, while whatever is the thing that you work for slowly absorbs your soul and energy. have you noticed how people that retire or take a break can't even begin living with themselves, because they only knew themselves through their work and activities? this is what happens in the material world OP. first know yourself and acquire spiritual knowledge, then jump to the world and do whatever you want... most people do the opposite: they jump into society, work their asses off as slaves, acquire material goods, and when they are full of it, almost dying, they develop interest to higher principles (spiritual), but then it's generally too late. there is nothing worse than a slave who is ignorant of his condition. at least be a slave that knows his condition and aims for freedom.

Anonymous Coward
User ID: 406673
9/8/2008 12:32 AM

Re: I need help believing I am not my education	Quote
Take it from me, the one the you will never regret is time spent with your kid.

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