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Women have caused all my problems
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ObeyTheOctopus
User ID: 452708
10/1/2008 5:56 AM
 | | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
This is pretty pathetic. You sound like a woman yourself. Grow some balls and take charge of your life.
Sometimes pissing people off can help them. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 512315
It's not wrong for a guy like myself to have feelings. We're human too although we like to hide it under this fake macho persona that says nothing can affect us. I'm just being honest with people I don't even know. I want to get angry. I don't care if you bash me.
"Buy the ticket, take the ride." |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 514211
10/1/2008 6:03 AM | | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
ok look don't kill yourself
it could always be worse just think about that, look at other people around you who don't have what you have(internet)
look at the bottom of the trash can
I am appreciative every day about what I do have. I look for peace in nature. I can sit for hours and talk with the homeless. I'm not looking for sympathy. This is just a confession of sorts. A truth in my life that others might be able to relate to. Quoting: ObeyTheOctopus
You seem to be a nice guy. If I were not happily married, I would date you. ;) But good luck to you! Hope you will find your perfect match in case you are still searching. There are many women who are also looking for love. Try to travel and keep looking. Don't give up. |
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Cynical Realist
User ID: 513516
10/1/2008 6:04 AM
 | | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
This is pretty pathetic. You sound like a woman yourself. Grow some balls and take charge of your life.
Sometimes pissing people off can help them.
It's not wrong for a guy like myself to have feelings. We're human too although we like to hide it under this fake macho persona that says nothing can affect us. I'm just being honest with people I don't even know. I want to get angry. I don't care if you bash me. Quoting: ObeyTheOctopus
Absolutely 100% correct.
Any male that says he does`nt have feelings is lying... to himself.. And people see that. He knows it and then the defense mechanisms set in and then anger. Nothing wrong with anger mind, after all it is an emotion.... but it can get out of control.
.... And thats coming from an old Cynic |
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ObeyTheOctopus
User ID: 452708
10/1/2008 6:13 AM
| | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
Any male that says he does`nt have feelings is lying... to himself.. And people see that. He knows it and then the defense mechanisms set in and then anger. Nothing wrong with anger mind, after all it is an emotion.... but it can get out of control. Quoting: Cynical Realist
Anger can be a positive force if channeled in a productive way. One of the strongest emotions we have. If my past had made me complacent I'd worry. You seem to be good at dissecting psychological responses, so how do I turn this around in your opinion?
To the rest of you, I'm not making blanket statements about ALL women or women in general. I'm talking about personal experience. These are things that have happened to me and women happen to be responsible. I know there are good ones out there, that just hasn't been my experience.
"Buy the ticket, take the ride." |
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Cynical Realist
User ID: 513516
10/1/2008 6:31 AM
| | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
so how do I turn this around in your opinion?
To the rest of you, I'm not making blanket statements about ALL women or women in general. I'm talking about personal experience. These are things that have happened to me and women happen to be responsible. I know there are good ones out there, that just hasn't been my experience. Quoting: ObeyTheOctopus
Ok its not for me to advise... only you have the answer.... or will have.
Hehe but if im to advise it would be.... Refer to a Gestalt Counsellor. who would explore the Past relationships specificaly where YOU wanted to go. There is a certain amount of role play.... IE you would be placed in your Aunt`s position, taking BOTH victim and aggresor role and the whole thing would be picked apart to a nubbin. Also it will help by having someone there who shows you "total posetive regard" and is there for you.... FFS so far you hav`nt had many.
.... And thats coming from an old Cynic |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 376706
10/1/2008 6:36 AM | | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
My wife is awesome. And I have great daughters too.
The women in my life have brought me happiness, good memories and lots of love. |
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ObeyTheOctopus
User ID: 452708
10/1/2008 6:37 AM
| | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
Hehe but if im to advise it would be.... Refer to a Gestalt Counsellor. who would explore the Past relationships specificaly where YOU wanted to go. There is a certain amount of role play.... IE you would be placed in your Aunt`s position, taking BOTH victim and aggresor role and the whole thing would be picked apart to a nubbin. Also it will help by having someone there who shows you "total posetive regard" and is there for you.... FFS so far you hav`nt had many. Quoting: Cynical Realist
Have you tried it?
"Buy the ticket, take the ride." |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 376706
10/1/2008 6:37 AM | | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
Women also bring balance in my life. |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 514556
10/1/2008 6:38 AM | | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
Get to know em before you love em'. Women are much better at controlling their emotions than men. once you're in love, you're basically emotionally enslaved. Although not all women are scheming, lying, game-playing foes. In my experience, its mostly the pretty, vain ones. Stay away from the hot women. The prettier they are, the more scandalous they are. Don't let your dick control you. Period. |
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ObeyTheOctopus
User ID: 452708
10/1/2008 6:39 AM
| | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
My wife is awesome. And I have great daughters too.
The women in my life have brought me happiness, good memories and lots of love. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 376706
That's great. I wish I could say the same.
"Buy the ticket, take the ride." |
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ObeyTheOctopus
User ID: 452708
10/1/2008 6:40 AM
| | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
Get to know em before you love em'. Women are much better at controlling their emotions than men. once you're in love, you're basically emotionally enslaved. Although not all women are scheming, lying, game-playing foes. In my experience, its mostly the pretty, vain ones. Stay away from the hot women. The prettier they are, the more scandalous they are. Don't let your dick control you. Period. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 514556
Do you ever really know anyone? Honestly?
"Buy the ticket, take the ride." |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 502707
10/1/2008 6:42 AM | | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
My mother abandoned me when I was an infant
My aunt abused me as a child
My first love lied and made a fool of me
My wife cheated and took my daughter away
Friends tell me I'd be better off dead
All of the girls in my life have caused so much misery
I guess it's all in my head Quoting: ObeyTheOctopus
Exactly the same story here OP, so similar it is spooky, only difference is it was my foster mother who abused me. |
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Cynical Realist
User ID: 513516
10/1/2008 6:44 AM
| | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
My mother abandoned me when I was an infant
My aunt abused me as a child
My first love lied and made a fool of me
My wife cheated and took my daughter away
Friends tell me I'd be better off dead
All of the girls in my life have caused so much misery
I guess it's all in my head
Exactly the same story here OP, so similar it is spooky, only difference is it was my foster mother who abused me. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 502707
How old were you when you went to Foster home? and how long after did the abuse start?
.... And thats coming from an old Cynic |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 376706
10/1/2008 6:44 AM | | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
WOmen bring balance.
But remember that women are women. You need to be a man. This new age wimpy speciment promoted as men are actually desexed and cannot be in a proper relationship.
Women need the emotional ups and downs. They need to be able to bitch about their men at times. That's how men keep their value. You cannot know hot without cold.
Men are stable, steady, solid. The leaders. The males. Women are emotional, the home makers, the carers.
You need both. You need balance. You aren't whole unless you have balance.
The problem is that those in power heard women bitching about men and didn't realise that this is essential to a healthy relationship. But it has to be the right sort of things to bitch about. Men being arseholes, layabout drunks is not what I am talking about. Men being the strong lead is where I am at on this. Men laying down the law at times, making the woman run around him (within reason). These things re-assert the male authority. The women moan but they always come back with "but I love him" when their girlfriends ask "well why not just leave him?". It forces the women to remind themselves why they love him and it also gives them something to love. A challenge. Balance for them too. |
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Cynical Realist
User ID: 513516
10/1/2008 6:46 AM
| | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
Have you tried it? Quoting: ObeyTheOctopus
Nope!!! But i will come clean here.... hehe perhaps a revelation to all here... I am a Counsellor in RL
.... And thats coming from an old Cynic |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 376706
10/1/2008 6:46 AM | | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
Get to know em before you love em'. Women are much better at controlling their emotions than men. once you're in love, you're basically emotionally enslaved. Although not all women are scheming, lying, game-playing foes. In my experience, its mostly the pretty, vain ones. Stay away from the hot women. The prettier they are, the more scandalous they are. Don't let your dick control you. Period.
Do you ever really know anyone? Honestly? Quoting: ObeyTheOctopus
That's irrelevant. The real question is "do you ever really know yourself?".
Know yourself first. Be strong within yourself.
And the women fall into line. |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 502707
10/1/2008 6:49 AM | | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
My mother abandoned me when I was an infant
My aunt abused me as a child
My first love lied and made a fool of me
My wife cheated and took my daughter away
Friends tell me I'd be better off dead
All of the girls in my life have caused so much misery
I guess it's all in my head
Exactly the same story here OP, so similar it is spooky, only difference is it was my foster mother who abused me.
How old were you when you went to Foster home? and how long after did the abuse start? Quoting: Cynical Realist
I was 2 years old, and the abuse started around 3 years old when i first remember her swinging me around and letting me go into a wall narrowly missing a window, then she burnt me with a cigarette.
Maybe my story is so similar because i had 'abandonment' issues and rejected my foster mother who in turn battered me for that rejection, and then like a stitch running my life followed suit with all females there after....dunno maybe!? |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 376706
10/1/2008 6:49 AM | | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
Get to know em before you love em'. Women are much better at controlling their emotions than men. once you're in love, you're basically emotionally enslaved. Although not all women are scheming, lying, game-playing foes. In my experience, its mostly the pretty, vain ones. Stay away from the hot women. The prettier they are, the more scandalous they are. Don't let your dick control you. Period.
Do you ever really know anyone? Honestly? Quoting: ObeyTheOctopus
That's irrelevant. The real question is "do you ever know yourself?".
Be strong within yourself and the women fall into line.
But you cannot be strong unless you know where you are both strong and weak. In strength is weakness and vice versa. You need to be like a young tree: Firmly rooted but flexible. That way you can withstand the storms. And old tree, inflexible, will break despite strong roots. A young tree, flexible but with shallow roots will be ripped from the ground. |
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ObeyTheOctopus
User ID: 452708
10/1/2008 6:51 AM
| | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
WOmen bring balance.
But remember that women are women. You need to be a man. This new age wimpy speciment promoted as men are actually desexed and cannot be in a proper relationship.
Women need the emotional ups and downs. They need to be able to bitch about their men at times. That's how men keep their value. You cannot know hot without cold.
Men are stable, steady, solid. The leaders. The males. Women are emotional, the home makers, the carers.
You need both. You need balance. You aren't whole unless you have balance.
The problem is that those in power heard women bitching about men and didn't realise that this is essential to a healthy relationship. But it has to be the right sort of things to bitch about. Men being arseholes, layabout drunks is not what I am talking about. Men being the strong lead is where I am at on this. Men laying down the law at times, making the woman run around him (within reason). These things re-assert the male authority. The women moan but they always come back with "but I love him" when their girlfriends ask "well why not just leave him?". It forces the women to remind themselves why they love him and it also gives them something to love. A challenge. Balance for them too. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 376706
In my experience, it's been quite the opposite. I'm balanced when I don't have a woman around. I have no room in my life for lies, drama, personal attacks and more damned lies.
"Buy the ticket, take the ride." |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 376706
10/1/2008 6:53 AM | | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
I was 2 years old, and the abuse started around 3 years old when i first remember her swinging me around and letting me go into a wall narrowly missing a window, then she burnt me with a cigarette.
Maybe my story is so similar because i had 'abandonment' issues and rejected my foster mother who in turn battered me for that rejection, and then like a stitch running my life followed suit with all females there after....dunno maybe!? Quoting: Anonymous Coward 502707
That is shocking.
But you have to understand that's in your past. The only thing from your past with you now are the bad memories and the bad behaviour.
You can't change your memories, so decide to make good memories for yourself from now on by making your relationship with women from now on good relationships.
You CAN change your behaviour. Right now it reads like you are weak and you expect unrealistic strenght, logic and emotional stability from women.
That is not women to blame. That's you, my friend. You need to become strong. And to do that, you need to become a man. Right now you are still an abused child in your behaviour. You need to become a man. |
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Cynical Realist
User ID: 513516
10/1/2008 6:55 AM
| | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
I was 2 years old, and the abuse started around 3 years old when i first remember her swinging me around and letting me go into a wall narrowly missing a window, then she burnt me with a cigarette.
Maybe my story is so similar because i had 'abandonment' issues and rejected my foster mother who in turn battered me for that rejection, and then like a stitch running my life followed suit with all females there after....dunno maybe!? Quoting: Anonymous Coward 502707
Do you feel that YOU may carry on this cycle into new relationships as you get older?
.... And thats coming from an old Cynic |
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ObeyTheOctopus
User ID: 452708
10/1/2008 6:56 AM
| | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
That's irrelevant. The real question is "do you ever know yourself?".
Be strong within yourself and the women fall into line.
But you cannot be strong unless you know where you are both strong and weak. In strength is weakness and vice versa. You need to be like a young tree: Firmly rooted but flexible. That way you can withstand the storms. And old tree, inflexible, will break despite strong roots. A young tree, flexible but with shallow roots will be ripped from the ground. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 376706
Thank you for that. The more I know myself the more I feel like I don't need anybody else.
"Buy the ticket, take the ride." |
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Cynical Realist
User ID: 513516
10/1/2008 6:58 AM
| | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
In my experience, it's been quite the opposite. I'm balanced when I don't have a woman around. I have no room in my life for lies, drama, personal attacks and more damned lies. Quoting: ObeyTheOctopus
Its all part of the conditioned response based on your negative conditioning, within previous relationships
.... And thats coming from an old Cynic |
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ObeyTheOctopus
User ID: 452708
10/1/2008 7:02 AM
| | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
Nope!!! But i will come clean here.... hehe perhaps a revelation to all here... I am a Counsellor in RL Quoting: Cynical Realist
I had you pegged for a psychologist! I just wanted to know how successful such a treatment could be. I've been to counseling, where they put me on meds that I wouldn't take because 1) They are toxic 2) They only cover up the real underlying issues. I'd like to use cognition to deprogram, and I'd like to do it on my own if possible.
"Buy the ticket, take the ride." |
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Cynical Realist
User ID: 513516
10/1/2008 7:05 AM
| | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
That is shocking.
But you have to understand that's in your past. The only thing from your past with you now are the bad memories and the bad behaviour.
You can't change your memories, so decide to make good memories for yourself from now on by making your relationship with women from now on good relationships.
You CAN change your behaviour. Right now it reads like you are weak and you expect unrealistic strenght, logic and emotional stability from women.
That is not women to blame. That's you, my friend. You need to become strong. And to do that, you need to become a man. Right now you are still an abused child in your behaviour. You need to become a man. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 376706
He is a man irespective of the past... This sort of stuff NEEDS to come out, not locked away in a cupboard. This is part of the problem.... BE A MAN... god how many times does he hear that.... nope and with total respect... he knows he is a MAN, Solutions are many and complex.... but it starts with understanding yourself 1st from a emotional standpoint not nessesarly from a testostorne veiw point.
.... And thats coming from an old Cynic |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 502707
10/1/2008 7:06 AM | | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
That is shocking.
But you have to understand that's in your past. The only thing from your past with you now are the bad memories and the bad behaviour.
You can't change your memories, so decide to make good memories for yourself from now on by making your relationship with women from now on good relationships.
You CAN change your behaviour. Right now it reads like you are weak and you expect unrealistic strenght, logic and emotional stability from women.
That is not women to blame. That's you, my friend. You need to become strong. And to do that, you need to become a man. Right now you are still an abused child in your behaviour. You need to become a man. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 376706
Yeah you are right, and i've left the past as the past, and i have made great changes to my behaviour, my son (now 18) has never had me raise my hand to him, i broke the cycle of abuse, (the potential was there initially) but i recognised it for what it was....learned behaviour patterns.
But....as for having unreal expectations of women, i don't think it's an unreal expectation to expect a woman to be faithful and not sleep around, however in today's society it IS an unreal expectation evidently.
So now i have given up on them altogether, and i feel much better and stronger for it, but i have ZERO respect for them in general, i'll wait patiently for the exception to the rule to find me, i certainly am not going to waste my time finding her, as looking for needles in haystacks is surely the pass time of a fool. |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 376706
10/1/2008 7:09 AM | | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
In my experience, it's been quite the opposite. I'm balanced when I don't have a woman around. I have no room in my life for lies, drama, personal attacks and more damned lies. Quoting: ObeyTheOctopus
But you need love, companionship and trust.
Women who lie do it for a reason. Often that reason is because of the way that you make them feel.
Hey, men lie too. It's called being human.
Your problem is that you attach too much importance to lies.
If you are a man, if you rule by example and lead through compassionate stength, then the women fall into line behind you.
You are blaming cats for not being herded. Yet you create no leadership.
The natural order is for a strong male lead and all this nancy pancy bullshit put out by the PC brigade breaks the natural order of things and creates hell for both men and women.
If you woman lies, there is a reason. And a strong male holds her accountable for her lies. If you are strong, you won't let her off the hook. This is when you become the adult and she becomes the child. You make her stand there and account for her actions to her. If needs' be, you become a strong, dominant male and you your intellectual and physical strength to assert yourself (but you cannot beat up a woman, just be sure on that one, that's being an arsehole and also is breaking the law and morally repulsive).
But a few reminders of your superior strength at regular intervals, play wrestling, chucking her around a bit (safely), getting her in a tight grip, doing things that she can't (opening jars, lifting heavy weights), etc is essential to asserting your dominance. It's vital for the woman too. It's essential for the woman's trust and belief in you as a male.
You are severely letting her down if you don't do this. She's betrayed by you. You didn't live up to being a male. Not what she bought into as a woman.
So you have to do this.
And when she's being emotinoal, at the right time and place (experience teaches you this), you need to hold her accountable. She cannot get away with her actions. The crying only continues if it has an effect. I am very hard on the women in my life like that. I tell them "go finish your crying then when it's over, you will account for your actions to me".
It's that simple.
Women need to be women. You don't want to kill the female in side the women. They need to cry, rant and rave. But you need to be like a rock. The waves just wash over you.
And when it's over, then you hold them to account for their actions and their words.
They need to be able to trust in you as their leader, their male, the head of the household and their protector.
This is how women get reassured that you are a male that they can trust.
And when you do that, they fall in line, tow the line, and you all have a happy, healthy and balanced relationship.
Right now you are a broken male. It's not the women who are doing you wrong, it's you. You naturally a male but your past has broken you.
Your problems are with you, not women. You need to know yourself first before you can know women. |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 502707
10/1/2008 7:09 AM | | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
I was 2 years old, and the abuse started around 3 years old when i first remember her swinging me around and letting me go into a wall narrowly missing a window, then she burnt me with a cigarette.
Maybe my story is so similar because i had 'abandonment' issues and rejected my foster mother who in turn battered me for that rejection, and then like a stitch running my life followed suit with all females there after....dunno maybe!?
Do you feel that YOU may carry on this cycle into new relationships as you get older? Quoting: Cynical Realist
I'll certainly try my hardest not to. |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 376706
10/1/2008 7:11 AM | | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
That is shocking.
But you have to understand that's in your past. The only thing from your past with you now are the bad memories and the bad behaviour.
You can't change your memories, so decide to make good memories for yourself from now on by making your relationship with women from now on good relationships.
You CAN change your behaviour. Right now it reads like you are weak and you expect unrealistic strenght, logic and emotional stability from women.
That is not women to blame. That's you, my friend. You need to become strong. And to do that, you need to become a man. Right now you are still an abused child in your behaviour. You need to become a man.
Yeah you are right, and i've left the past as the past, and i have made great changes to my behaviour, my son (now 18) has never had me raise my hand to him, i broke the cycle of abuse, (the potential was there initially) but i recognised it for what it was....learned behaviour patterns.
But....as for having unreal expectations of women, i don't think it's an unreal expectation to expect a woman to be faithful and not sleep around, however in today's society it IS an unreal expectation evidently.
So now i have given up on them altogether, and i feel much better and stronger for it, but i have ZERO respect for them in general, i'll wait patiently for the exception to the rule to find me, i certainly am not going to waste my time finding her, as looking for needles in haystacks is surely the pass time of a fool. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 502707
I am glad that you have done so much! Well done.
But know this nasty truth: When a woman sleeps around it's because you are not her alpha male. |
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Cynical Realist
User ID: 513516
10/1/2008 7:12 AM
| | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
Nope!!! But i will come clean here.... hehe perhaps a revelation to all here... I am a Counsellor in RL
I had you pegged for a psychologist! I just wanted to know how successful such a treatment could be. I've been to counseling, where they put me on meds that I wouldn't take because 1) They are toxic 2) They only cover up the real underlying issues. I'd like to use cognition to deprogram, and I'd like to do it on my own if possible. Quoting: ObeyTheOctopus
You are in the USA i take it??.... here in England the "counsellor" is not a Psychiatrist. The counsellor here is more "solution focused" in his aproach. No meds. Meds are a mask... and another cupoard to "put you in". Talk.... with some one who listens and is 100% there with you... will do more than a 10000 tablets can ever hope to do.
.... And thats coming from an old Cynic |
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