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Women have caused all my problems
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InfiniTcell 
Vegan Yogi
User ID: 515023
10/1/2008 2:37 PM
 | | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
I doubt that the responders to my posts know what it is like to be unconditionally accepting or unconditionally accepted.
Unconditional acceptance is really difficult. You haven't actually gotten or done it if you feel a burning, negative or otherwise bad feeling. Unconditional acceptance means being okay with, and being happy about whatever has happened and happens to oneself. Unconditional acceptance is NOT plunging yourself into the clutches of "morons". That would be an utter act of self-loathing. Unconditional acceptance always respects free will of all.
I've been beaten, thrown, spit on, manipulated. I had seething hatred and sadness until I could forgive and know that is all they can be at this moment and that these experiences are creating a better grander whole. These negative emotions arose out of my lack of acceptance of others in my wish to dominate and control them. If anyone wants to continue their abuse of myself, I say that's okay recognizing their free will to be this way, but I will do my best to make myself physically scarce, and concentrate intent at a distance, wishing the best life and happiness possible for those who would want to dominate me.
Your experiences are dictated by your beliefs. And, what kind of hell must it be for those of you with this perspective? Not so fun it seems.
We live in a holographic, light woven reality. There is no particle, there is no separateness to anything. While reality is a very compelling, persistent illusion, it is one designed to bring us all ultimate experience of everything.
Darkness and hate and all that is necessary as an integral part of understanding oneself as Divinity. Without it, one would not understand how one is ultimate pure light. No contrast, no knowing. |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 514414
10/1/2008 2:39 PM | | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
The things that happen when you are a child are the fault of the people who committed them.
What you take away from it is yours.
Almost all that happen as an adult happen with your consent and inplicit involvement.
In other words, when all the players change, and the environment changes, but the story remains the same you have to look at what the common factor is.
The common factor is YOU.
That means you are involved in your own problems. Indeed, you are seeking out people to play out your problems with. You continue to play out the story by finding the people who is take up their places in your mental story of yourself, and if they don't you - without noticing it - avoid or reject them.
You also refuse new patterns, because they make you uncomfortable. However, what does make you comfortable is what you know. What you know, is not a good relationship.
Whenever you find that you are continually in the same place, in the same situation, with different people the ongoing continium is YOU. That means, you are getting something out of it. You are getting enough out of it that you are more comfortable continuing in it than challenging yourself out of it.
New patterns require work. Actually, biological work.
Just like when you exercise, your muscles hurt and you don't want to continue but the tearing makes new, stronger, better muscles. Your brain has neural pathways. Links made based on previous experience.
Often used pathways persist, as the electrical charges between neurons will prefer to use previously established electrical pathways. Indeed, your brain will try and avoid making new connections and reuse previous connections - conservation of energy and new knowledge is easier to understand based on previous knowledge. This maintains homeostasis. Any system, and your body is a system, prefers homeostasis.
Therefore, to create new neural pathways you need to WORK to abandon previous behaviours. This will make you feel really uncomfortable. You won't want to do it. You'll find reasons why it won't work. It'll maybe hurt. You get fatigued. You'll want to stop - you'll make excuses. Anything to not have to make a new set of behaviours, and abandon those neural pathways that were set up in your childhood.
What you have done before is survivable but isn't SUCCESSFUL. It is successful only in continuing to allow the organism to live in percieved safety. Is that really ENOUGH for you? Perceived safety?
Pick a woman you would have never picked before, but seems like a nice person. Pick to do the things that don't seem right, and don't seem comfortable. Actively choose to make decisions that are not what you made before. Logically, think of your GOAL and see if you can logically view things from a third party point of view. If I saw this person walking down the street and talking to someone, would I think they would be a good partner or date for my best friend? If my best friend did this, would I think they were being nice?
Anyway, maybe one or two people will read this and it'll give them a pause to rethink their pattern of behaviour and how they are contributing to their misery. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 431995
This post reminds me of Transactional Analysis Theory, which OP may find helpful in determining his own self-defeating behaviors in relationships. Two books: Scripts People Live and Games People Play (were helpful to me)
"In Scripts People Live, Steiner expands upon this belief to show that people are innately healthy but develop a pattern early in life based upon negative or positive influences of those around them. Thus children decide, however unconsciously, whether they will be happy or depressed, winners or failures, strong or dependent, and having decided, they spend the rest of their lives making the decision come true. For those who choose a negative script, the consequences can be disastrous unless they make a conscious decision to change."
[link to www.amazon.com] |
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Sinanju
User ID: 511173
10/1/2008 2:40 PM | | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
"I doubt that the responders to my posts know what it is like to be unconditionally accepting or unconditionally accepted."
>>Oh, grow up Guru-boy... most of us here had mothers who loved us unconditionally.
Face it, your bullshit is just not reality based and that is why it is getting shot down by people who live in the real world. |
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Poe
User ID: 483611
10/1/2008 2:42 PM
 | | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
>>Oh, grow up Guru-boy... most of us here had mothers who loved us unconditionally. Quoting: Sinanju 511173
Are you sure about that? Most people were probably told that but the reality of it is very different for alot of people.
“Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.”
~ Charlotte Whitton |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 431995
10/1/2008 2:43 PM | | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
People can love unconditionally. Usually they cannot live together unconditionally though. |
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ObeyTheOctopus
User ID: 452708
10/1/2008 2:47 PM
 | | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
I agree with a lot of what you said there Infinit. I meditate often and I'm happy being me for the most part. I'm comfortable being by myself and I don't wish to control anyone.
"Buy the ticket, take the ride." |
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Sinanju
User ID: 511173
10/1/2008 2:49 PM | | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
"Are you sure about that? Most people were probably told that but the reality of it is very different for alot of people."
>>It is a fair enough bet. |
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InfiniTcell
Vegan Yogi
User ID: 515023
10/1/2008 2:54 PM
| | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
"I doubt that the responders to my posts know what it is like to be unconditionally accepting or unconditionally accepted."
>>Oh, grow up Guru-boy... most of us here had mothers who loved us unconditionally.
Face it, your bullshit is just not reality based and that is why it is getting shot down by people who live in the real world. Quoting: Sinanju 511173
Enjoy your "real" 3d world! I have experienced 6d. No going back after that. =)
Fractal Holographic Illusion woven from pure Infinite Consciousness I found in realms beyond the one of this "real world's".
In it I found we are the creators of our destiny. I'm glad you imply you had a mother that was unconditionally accepting. It would be nice if you could take her attitude. |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 513367
10/1/2008 2:57 PM | | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
"How completely TWISTED of you. You should be ashamed of yourself spouting such poison!"
>>What the fuck are you on about? Twisted? For giving advice that doesn't involve sitting around in a dark room, praising women, and contemplating the lint in one's belly button?
Fuck off...
I gave a man's advice to a man who asked for it. not a metrosexual pansy.. not a woman... a real man's advice.
OP, the best thing you can do is twofold... one, treat them as they have treated you... and LIVE WELL.
Be happy.. be UNAVAILABLE... be yourself regardless of what they or society thinks.
You have gotten to this point by PLAYING BY THEIR RULES. Do NOT listen to them when they list the rules for you again. Make YOUR own rules...
You will find yourself with a virtual harem before you know what you are doing. Quoting: Sinanju 511173
You just proved my statement to be the truth. Thank you. |
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Poe
User ID: 483611
10/1/2008 2:57 PM
| | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
>>It is a fair enough bet. Quoting: Sinanju 511173
What is?
“Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.”
~ Charlotte Whitton |
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Sinanju
User ID: 511173
10/1/2008 2:58 PM | | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
"Enjoy your "real" 3d world! I have experienced 6d. No going back after that. =)
Fractal Holographic Illusion woven from pure Infinite Consciousness I found in realms beyond the one of this "real world's".
In it I found we are the creators of our destiny. I'm glad you imply you had a mother that was unconditionally accepting. It would be nice if you could take her attitude."
>>You are clearly insane. Thanks for your advice. It has been duly noted. |
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Sinanju
User ID: 511173
10/1/2008 2:59 PM | | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
"You just proved my statement to be the truth. Thank you."
>>Anytime. |
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Sinanju
User ID: 511173
10/1/2008 2:59 PM | | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
"What is?"
>>That the majority had mothers that loved them. |
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Poe
User ID: 483611
10/1/2008 3:06 PM
| | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
"What is?"
>>That the majority had mothers that loved them. Quoting: Sinanju 511173
I'm sure at some point every mother has loved their child. But there are too many selfish people who put conditions on their love for a majority to have experienced unconditional love.
“Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.”
~ Charlotte Whitton |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 431995
10/1/2008 3:07 PM | | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
men who hate women and pursue women who are dumb/controllable/etc are stupid.
Here is why.
Almost everyone breeds. Fertility is amazing that way.
Most of these men hate women, and therefore prefer sons.
The Y chromosone only holds a few things. Androgenizing effects, and whether you are going to get hair in your ears as you get older.
Almost all of what bases your organism, is on the X chromosone.
They then mix their DNA with these women. Their sons are likely to inherit meek or dumb, moderated by some testosterone.
This effect over time should become obvious. Men who prefer to pursue people who are "made" dumb, subservient, etc. are really just making sure that their genes trickle out of the pool over time.
They might stick around if their daughters, who get their mtDNA, breed into a smart sufficient woman who has children. Their Y however, is on its way into the abyss.
Just showing dumb decisions over time illustrate just how dumb those decisions are. Machos stupidity is its own downfall. |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 514681
10/1/2008 3:26 PM | | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
>>Oh, grow up Guru-boy... most of us here had mothers who loved us unconditionally.
Are you sure about that? Most people were probably told that but the reality of it is very different for alot of people. Quoting: Poe
Would you please intellectually elaborate on this thought further? |
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Poe
User ID: 483611
10/1/2008 3:33 PM
| | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
Would you please intellectually elaborate on this thought further? Quoting: Anonymous Coward 514681
Would you please intellectually read the first line the OP wrote? Alot of people do not experience unconditional love from one or both parents even though people act like it's a universal given. So when someone grows up and realizes that their parent or parents did not unconditionally love them, it is quite a debilitating revelation. It's something people are fed their whole life, that parents automatically unconditionally love their children but the reality is they don't have to and many times they don't. Alot of people grow up to find that their parents were either too selfish to care about someone in such a way or that the "unconditional" love would be taken away if the parents "conditions" (ie: you choose something different than they would) are not met. As you can see, from the OPs post, it can lead to alot of interpersonal issues throughout adulthood.
“Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.”
~ Charlotte Whitton |
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ObeyTheOctopus
User ID: 452708
10/1/2008 3:42 PM
| | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
Would you please intellectually read the first line the OP wrote? Alot of people do not experience unconditional love from one or both parents even though people act like it's a universal given. So when someone grows up and realizes that their parent or parents did not unconditionally love them, it is quite a debilitating revelation. It's something people are fed their whole life, that parents automatically unconditionally love their children but the reality is they don't have to and many times they don't. Alot of people grow up to find that their parents were either too selfish to care about someone in such a way or that the "unconditional" love would be taken away if the parents "conditions" (ie: you choose something different than they would) are not met. As you can see, from the OPs post, it can lead to alot of interpersonal issues throughout adulthood. Quoting: Poe
Perhaps she abandoned me out of love? I will never know what she was thinking until I find her, if I ever do.
"Buy the ticket, take the ride." |
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Poe
User ID: 483611
10/1/2008 3:45 PM
| | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
Perhaps she abandoned me out of love? I will never know what she was thinking until I find her, if I ever do. Quoting: ObeyTheOctopus
That is true! Did her abandonement put you in a better situation? Either way, it's a really hard concept to deal with.
“Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.”
~ Charlotte Whitton |
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ObeyTheOctopus
User ID: 452708
10/1/2008 3:50 PM
| | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
That is true! Did her abandonement put you in a better situation? Either way, it's a really hard concept to deal with. Quoting: Poe
Better? I have no way to tell. My adopted parents are good, kind people. I never went without, they provided for me everything I needed. My mother must have had her reasons. I can only speculate and forgive.
"Buy the ticket, take the ride." |
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NikkiLaVey
User ID: 272356
10/1/2008 3:52 PM
 | | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
That is true! Did her abandonement put you in a better situation? Either way, it's a really hard concept to deal with.
Better? I have no way to tell. My adopted parents are good, kind people. I never went without, they provided for me everything I needed. My mother must have had her reasons. I can only speculate and forgive. Quoting: ObeyTheOctopus
So then an Adopted Mother was good to you ... maybe you should reconcider you first post.
If we don't help each other who will
Dream the Good Dream,
Nikki |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 435072
10/1/2008 3:53 PM | | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
Many women put the Evel in Eve..
Get it Evil...ha hah 'EH? |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 431995
10/1/2008 3:53 PM | | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
What really does your mother's choices have to do with yours?
You aren't responsible for her choices. They speak not at all to who you are. Only to who she was.
If she could, couldn't, wasn't capable, WHY is that about you?
It probably isn't. Even if she did say it was you, it still wouldn't be true. It would only be a reflection of her.
Oh, and - would you REALLY want your daugther to absorb this idea? If you had influence in her life, do you think that her knowing that Daddy thinks that all women are this abyss of horrible would be good for her? |
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Poe
User ID: 483611
10/1/2008 3:54 PM
| | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
Better? I have no way to tell. My adopted parents are good, kind people. I never went without, they provided for me everything I needed. My mother must have had her reasons. I can only speculate and forgive. Quoting: ObeyTheOctopus
That sounds pretty good!
Even if you have good adopted parents, there always seems to be a desire to know your real ones. All I can say is that family is simply a group of people who love you, support you, and look out for you. Sometimes, that is not your blood relatives, or the "traditional" family. You can find that same sense of family in any group of people.
“Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.”
~ Charlotte Whitton |
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Sinanju
User ID: 511173
10/1/2008 3:54 PM | | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
"So then an Adopted Mother was good to you ... maybe you should reconcider you first post."
>>The fairy has a point. |
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NikkiLaVey
User ID: 272356
10/1/2008 3:57 PM
| | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
That is true! Did her abandonement put you in a better situation? Either way, it's a really hard concept to deal with.
Better? I have no way to tell. My adopted parents are good, kind people. I never went without, they provided for me everything I needed. My mother must have had her reasons. I can only speculate and forgive. Quoting: ObeyTheOctopus
BTW I noticed the Thompson quote.
I always liked
"When the going gets weird the weird turn pro"
Sorta fits me to a "T"
If we don't help each other who will
Dream the Good Dream,
Nikki |
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ObeyTheOctopus
User ID: 452708
10/1/2008 3:57 PM
| | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
So then an Adopted Mother was good to you ... maybe you should reconcider you first post. Quoting: NikkiLaVey
My point wasn't that all women are bad or anything like that. I know they aren't because I have had some positive experiences with women.
"Buy the ticket, take the ride." |
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NikkiLaVey
User ID: 272356
10/1/2008 3:58 PM
| | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
"So then an Adopted Mother was good to you ... maybe you should reconcider you first post."
>>The fairy has a point. Quoting: Sinanju 511173
Thanks ... Maybe I'm his Fairy God Mother 
If we don't help each other who will
Dream the Good Dream,
Nikki |
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ObeyTheOctopus
User ID: 452708
10/1/2008 4:00 PM
| | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
BTW I noticed the Thompson quote.
I always liked
"When the going gets weird the weird turn pro"
Sorta fits me to a "T" Quoting: NikkiLaVey
That's a great one too. I've got that one on a t-shirt along with the Gonzo logo.
"Buy the ticket, take the ride." |
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NikkiLaVey
User ID: 272356
10/1/2008 4:02 PM
| | Re: Women have caused all my problems | Quote |
So then an Adopted Mother was good to you ... maybe you should reconcider you first post.
My point wasn't that all women are bad or anything like that. I know they aren't because I have had some positive experiences with women. Quoting: ObeyTheOctopus
same here with men in my case.
Some of the men in my family Disowned me ... but other men have been good to me but I reached a point where for love I sought out other woman.
If we don't help each other who will
Dream the Good Dream,
Nikki |
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