Your most Compatible Romance?

lol Geo i once had a very precise, long list.. but after the 3 relationships I have had , all that is left is "be nice if he walked upright.." Har!!!

lol Geo i once had a very precise, long list.. but after the 3 relationships I have had , all that is left is "be nice if he walked upright.." Har!!!

LMAO! Well, that is an easy one too fulfill!

WOW! I feel like I've just looked into your soul! It does seem once you've had that level of perfection for you on SO MANY levels that nothing can compare.

I'm very sorry for your loss, but with what you had, you have lived more than most who have a LONG life without what you had. Blessings and condolences!


Thanks, Geogal, but I'm o.k. now. I couldn't talk about it for the longest time with out crying and feeling sorry for myself. Then about a yr. ago I realized that there are many, many people that are in the same boat and that he wouldn't have wanted me to wallow in self pity. I talk about it now and it helps.

You are right about being blessed that I had him for the time that I did. I wouldn't trade the experience of having a perfect one for a lessor time for the experience of having a mediocre life-long relationship.

So what did you think about the fourth & fifth levels - morality compatibility and energy compatibility?

mental, im an aquarian - theyre not emotional. i have my compatible partner now almost 5 yrs.

I don't think it's likely to find the "right" match unless you have a good feel for what you need to compliment or complete you.

I need someone i don't have to finish (or start) raising.

The physical aspect is important, of course. But I need to be emotionally and mentally stimulated as well. It doesn't matter how hot you are, if you haven't an original thought in your head forget it.
I need to feel loved, appreciated, like I matter. Not like I'm just here to do dishes and laundry.
I need someone that i can be honest with, someone that doesn't stomp around and pout over stupid little shit (like me saying hey go brush your teeth )

There's nothing quite like looking into the eyes of your soul mate and realizing you're finally home.

WOW! I feel like I've just looked into your soul! It does seem once you've had that level of perfection for you on SO MANY levels that nothing can compare.

I'm very sorry for your loss, but with what you had, you have lived more than most who have a LONG life without what you had. Blessings and condolences!


Thanks, Geogal, but I'm o.k. now. I couldn't talk about it for the longest time with out crying and feeling sorry for myself. Then about a yr. ago I realized that there are many, many people that are in the same boat and that he wouldn't have wanted me to wallow in self pity. I talk about it now and it helps.

You are right about being blessed that I had him for the time that I did. I wouldn't trade the experience of having a perfect one for a lessor time for the experience of having a mediocre life-long relationship.

So what did you think about the fourth & fifth levels - morality compatibility and energy compatibility?

Yes, it's just finding it. And I know I can't expect someone to change for me, so do I stick it out with who I have, or search for that once in a life time #1.

No, a person can't change and become something they aren't.

Gosh... such a tough personal choice. I can't give you an answer on what to do, but some things to think on, maybe is all I can offer.

Do you have children together?
Is there something about the current relationship that is helping you to grow still?
What chances do you have of finding what you are after if you walk now as opposed to later, or will you stick with this one for life for the level of commitment?
How will you end it for your own needs? Harsh and fast or gentle and soft but firm?

Only you can tell yourself if you should end it or not and when. If you are unhappy, and there is nothing tying you together, then it's an easier transition. If you are both somewhat happy, and have something tying you together, then that's harder and stickier.


Thank you, you're very good at this.

I need someone i don't have to finish (or start) raising.

The physical aspect is important, of course. But I need to be emotionally and mentally stimulated as well. It doesn't matter how hot you are, if you haven't an original thought in your head forget it.
I need to feel loved, appreciated, like I matter. Not like I'm just here to do dishes and laundry.
I need someone that i can be honest with, someone that doesn't stomp around and pout over stupid little shit (like me saying hey go brush your teeth )

There's nothing quite like looking into the eyes of your soul mate and realizing you're finally home.

mental, im an aquarian - theyre not emotional. i have my compatible partner now almost 5 yrs.

Phennommennonn... mental is a strong basis, agreed!

I'm also Aquarian, but I need the mental, emotional, physical (minimums) as well as the qualities that need building like trust, communication, and comfortability. Five is a good long time. It was over 6 with my hubby before we decided to tie-the-knot, and we jsut hit 6 since... doesn't seem like we've had a good 12+ years together, but it's been that.

I need someone i don't have to finish (or start) raising.

The physical aspect is important, of course. But I need to be emotionally and mentally stimulated as well. It doesn't matter how hot you are, if you haven't an original thought in your head forget it.
I need to feel loved, appreciated, like I matter. Not like I'm just here to do dishes and laundry.
I need someone that i can be honest with, someone that doesn't stomp around and pout over stupid little shit (like me saying hey go brush your teeth )

There's nothing quite like looking into the eyes of your soul mate and realizing you're finally home.



SOunds like you aren't yet finished finding what you need. As a side thought, if you don't have what you need now, don't tie yourself to it. You are such a free spirit that that could hurt you a lot... just MHO, my friend. You seem to have a clear idea on your needs to complete and be compatible. How strong is your desire to follow those needs and embrace it, as opposed to your needs to maintain what is comfortable and known?

AC I found your post very touching and I am sorry for your loss. I absolutely agree with the moral compatibility, I believe it's very important for a marriage for each member to hold the same sense of morality - I think it is the glue that has kept me and mine together. Also, laughter is important.

Geogal, great post!

Any woman with whom a five minute plus conversation doesn't end in me acquiring brain damage.

Dont let the lonliness of your saddnes hide, what clearly comes accross as being a compasionate and wonderfull woman.
If you are in a relationship again, your man is lucky... If you are not...... then the one that comes along will be.
Accepting that part of you "died" is part of the healing procces, even if its a hard road sometimes.

I don't think it's likely to find the "right" match unless you have a good feel for what you need to compliment or complete you.


IMHO no other person can complete you. You can only complete yourself and then a relationship, whether physical, emotional, etc....will be a complement

complement

Main Entry:

noun
Etymology:
Middle English, from Latin complementum, from complēre to fill up, complete, from com- + plēre to fill — more at full
Date:
14th century

1 a: something that fills up, completes, or makes perfect

That's it.. want someone who knows who he is already.. that is not an easy thing to find.
I have had that feeling with someone.. home.. knowing.. but it was not to be for long I guess.. but yeah Wow, I was lucky enough to have that in my lifetime.

I have him...he is everything to me. It is something I cannot even fathom on any intellectual level. I would do absolutely anything for him, and I know he would do the same for me.

He and I have been through so much in two years...through things that most people couldn't imagine having to endure, things that nobody should have to endure.

Instead of driving us apart, the difficulties have created a bond for two people in this world that should be completely alone...but we stuck it out.

I was away from him for two weeks while he started a new life for us, and I thought every fiber of my being would die. We are sad when apart, miserable when far away.

Yes, we do fight...perfection is difficult to obtain. There is nobody else I would rather fight with :)

He has made me a better person, a woman that is proud to be a wife and happy to be alive, two things I could not have imagined before.

I really like that point of similar moral levels. That is really important.

Laughter is essential.

I'd also like to note -- my husband and I have very, very different personalities.

I remember a long time ago hearing that people have affairs because of how they feel when they are with the other person. This has led me to ask myself, "how would I feel living with me?" I know I wouldn't want to live with a bitching moaning person - so I am not that person myself.

If I feel PMS'ey I'll let him know how I am feeling and that I want to be alone - so as not to share the nasty vibes. I warn him - so he understands it has nothing to do with anything he did and that I'm not mad at him.

i can hear that. what works tho for me is the mental stimulation. im not one for boredom.

Dont let the lonliness of your saddnes hide, what clearly comes accross as being a compasionate and wonderfull woman.
If you are in a relationship again, your man is lucky... If you are not...... then the one that comes along will be.
Accepting that part of you "died" is part of the healing procces, even if its a hard road sometimes.


Thank-you for your kind words. What you said is helping me. I do need to confront the part of me that "died and I need to face it head on and then put it to rest. I think you have made me see something that I hadn't before. I think I have been shying away from that "dead" spot that causes pain whereas I really need to do battle with it. You are very wise.

I have tried to be open to love again but when things get to a certain point I run. I don't want to hurt somebody else so I tend to break things off before they have had a chance.
It's not fair to others.

After he died a divorced friend of mine said, "Well, it's just as well that he died because if he had lived he probably would have cheated on you eventually and found another chick like my husband did."

It made me realize that I would have rather he had left me for another woman instead. I wanted to trade places with her. At least he would be alive and would still be the wonderful person he was, but just with someone else. That is how much I loved him. So I think he would want the same for me - to love again and to continue living.

Thank-you, wise and kind Cynical Realist!
Wishing you the best out of live -

SOunds like you aren't yet finished finding what you need. As a side thought, if you don't have what you need now, don't tie yourself to it. You are such a free spirit that that could hurt you a lot... just MHO, my friend. You seem to have a clear idea on your needs to complete and be compatible. How strong is your desire to follow those needs and embrace it, as opposed to your needs to maintain what is comfortable and known?



you are exactly right

i am completely bound at this point. Worst of all, the turmoil is killing me.

I've found what I need. I just don't have it.

if i a guy makes me laugh then he's got me in bed guaranteed.

when i meet someone who has no sense of humor i get all weirded out. never works out for me. i get paranoid or something. and i've met some great looking guys who were into me but just not there in the wit department. total turn off. almost creepy being 'seriously' wined and dined.

mental, im an aquarian - theyre not emotional. i have my compatible partner now almost 5 yrs.

Phennommennonn... mental is a strong basis, agreed!

I'm also Aquarian, but I need the mental, emotional, physical (minimums) as well as the qualities that need building like trust, communication, and comfortability. Five is a good long time. It was over 6 with my hubby before we decided to tie-the-knot, and we jsut hit 6 since... doesn't seem like we've had a good 12+ years together, but it's been that.

Thank-you for your kind words. What you said is helping me. I do need to confront the part of me that "died and I need to face it head on and then put it to rest. I think you have made me see something that I hadn't before. I think I have been shying away from that "dead" spot that causes pain whereas I really need to do battle with it. You are very wise.

I have tried to be open to love again but when things get to a certain point I run. I don't want to hurt somebody else so I tend to break things off before they have had a chance.
It's not fair to others.

After he died a divorced friend of mine said, "Well, it's just as well that he died because if he had lived he probably would have cheated on you eventually and found another chick like my husband did."

It made me realize that I would have rather he had left me for another woman instead. I wanted to trade places with her. At least he would be alive and would still be the wonderful person he was, but just with someone else. That is how much I loved him. So I think he would want the same for me - to love again and to continue living.

Thank-you, wise and kind Cynical Realist!
Wishing you the best out of live -

That's it.. want someone who knows who he is already.. that is not an easy thing to find.
I have had that feeling with someone.. home.. knowing.. but it was not to be for long I guess.. but yeah Wow, I was lucky enough to have that in my lifetime.