Godlike Productions - Conspiracy Forum
Users Online Now: 1,918 (Who's On?)Visitors Today: 145,000
Pageviews Today: 194,052Threads Today: 42Posts Today: 864
01:16 AM


Rate this Thread

Absolute BS Crap Reasonable Nice Amazing
 

So I had 2 kids now I want to kill myself

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 499547
United States
10/28/2008 09:48 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: So I had 2 kids now I want to kill myself
Hi OP,
Well, it was nice to hear someone else that gets to feeling that way about the whole familial rat race.
I am too living it, but w/4 kids. And I was always the kind of person that cherished being alone and in peace and quiet...which is of course, absent in my home now.
And I have also felt exactly as you do as well.
Some things that really help/helped me are talking to the wifey and letting her know that you need some down time. The build up of anger and stress actually takes a bigger toll than the few hours a week it would take to help get through these times.
I too thought there would be no light at the end of the tunnel and I found myself actually thinking to die would at least be different and it would give me a break in the day to day tedium and chaos.
But after some talking w/the wife and getting some alone time w/o them, I started to appreciate the chaos a bit. I used to have a great sense of humor (at least the wife told me that...LOL) and it seemed to have disappeared during those early years w/the kids. I decided to try to not take everything so seriously and realize that raising kids can be fun/exciting/challenging/and rewarding if you can learn to laugh at it when the stress starts to build and appreciate the small rewards it affords at the same time, if ya can see them.... especially when the schedules get busy and there just isn't enough time in the day... ya just got to stop, laugh it off, and realize that the kids and you will cherish the "laughing it off" during the hard times a lot more than the "stressed out dad and kids" memories. (if that makes any sense to ya)
Some of the folks here have great advice, just learn to look at it a bit differently and realize that they (the family) are indeed the most valuable part of my life and keep that a priority... and I talk a good game but I still have some rough days... but they are getting fewer and fewer as time goes on. Plus, it does get easier. No one ever told me that and I wish someone would have.
Anyway, good luck, hang in there, and keep a sense of humor... because in the end, no one gets out alive so ya might as well have a good laugh!

Cheers!
btw, I was 14 years military and had to leave my job to raise the kids-- stay at home dad. A choice we made based mostly on finances, but trust me on this, I miss going to work and having adults to converse/interact with. I don't regret it, but at the same time, I had no idea how valuable that part of my "identity" was and how hard it was to learn to get past losing it.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 537623
United States
10/28/2008 09:51 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: So I had 2 kids now I want to kill myself
I'm a 32 yo working mom (engineer) and my husband (37) is unemployed for 2 years. We have 2 kids ages 9 (my step-son whose mother is deceased) and 2.5 (ours). We've been married for 4 years this month. I recently put our two year old in daycare because I couldn't take hearing hubby complain about being home with her anymore. I think she is learning more at daycare, adjusting well, and we fight less because of it.

It's f'in overwhelming. Especially with our 9 year old because there are many problems just now surfacing. 9.5 hours a day I'm out of the house - working very hard - and when I come home it's nuts. Dinner, homework, baths, grad school homework for me, marriage counseling once a week, kid counseling once a week... It makes me want a second job. We have no family at all within a 5-hour radious and we have to pay through the nose every time we want a break.

But, you know what? I'm here on glp posting after a big glass of cabernet. They are asleep. Today my daughter made me laugh at least 10 times and our son mastered his 7's multiplication tables. Thank god for small favors. I won't finish my homework till ~ 2:00 am, and the alarm rings at 6, but tomorrow night will be early and that's a big blessing.

Whoever said to live in the moment is so, so right on.

There is nothing else you can do. Well, you can also get organized to the max, which is a huge help.

It was very hard for us to grow up - hence the therapy. We wanted to go on partying forever. We're still trying to adjust and it MIGHT happen before they leave the house.

But you have to enjoy your children. The more you pay attention to them, play with them, interact with them and love them, the better they will become. Just tonight my daughter was begging for me while I was typing my paper and hubby was watching TV. I told him to get on the floor and play and that was all she needed. After a few minutes she was satisfied and she fell asleep like an angel a few minutes later.

Organize, and pay attention to them in the moment. You will find that a little bit of organization and attention goes a long way. Pay a sitter occasionally and you will feel like you used to a couple times a month. It's worth the effort and money.

Good luck.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 493545
United States
10/28/2008 09:54 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: So I had 2 kids now I want to kill myself
Get Help now! You need someone to talk with.

The book "The Power Of Now" and "The New Earth" has changed my outlook on life. It's worth a try at least.

When my kids were young I also had a hard time. Now they are 14 and 17. They are my best friends and such cool people. It's worth putting the energy in to them. I am sad to think they will leave home someday. It's also very difficult to maintain a relationship with kids. Most people can't. I am glad I made that work too. Not easy! Everyone has to find their own way.

Running and bikeing with friends helped a lot. Have to make time for yourself so you can be present for the family.

Things will change you can count on that!

Good luck, I wish you peace.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 493545
United States
10/28/2008 09:59 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: So I had 2 kids now I want to kill myself
Oh, also having a planed Date Night at least once or twice a month is great. Make it special and enjoy your wife.
~BriZz~

User ID: 420732
United States
10/28/2008 10:06 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: So I had 2 kids now I want to kill myself
Is there something wrong with me? I had two kids and I love them and everything but I really feel like I should NEVER had kids. I feel like I never get time for myslef at all and feel like maybe im being selfish for this?

Im the man in case you were wondering. It's like this, I get up, go to work, come home, people are here ALL THE GODDAMN TIME! So, work drives me crazy, I pay ALL the bills, i come home and the kids drive me nuts till they go to bed, and i get like 1 hr to myself then I pass-out, repeat..... Then my wife is always wondering why im so testy and I remember when she wanted another baby blah blah so we had the 2nd and really told her that I didnt want another and that I was just fine with 1. Now that we ahve two (which are reallly good boys) i just want to die man....WTF!!!!!!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 508656




wow, we must be twins!
"I'm just like you...just not as cool"


fight my brute! [link to brizznitch.mybrute.com]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 537601
Australia
10/28/2008 10:07 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: So I had 2 kids now I want to kill myself
Peripetia - Greek tragedy - the hero learns that everything he's been told is wrong.

Fear is an instinct and everyone whose got kids did it because of fear, guilt, need of belonging, need of affection, it's all instincts - nothing more.

They're entire existince as DNA humans is based upon instincts.

Guilt tripping, fear mongoring, pretenious loving, and above all else are all instincts and they'll use that against you so they don't feel alone, ashamed and embarrassed, gives them a "feeling of belonging to something."

A feeling of popularity which is also an instinct, instincts will kill your existince. It's like the Native Indians were almost wiped out of existince, stripped off their identity and their happiness all due to white man's power of they're instincts.

Think about it.

People with children will talk instincts to you, it will never compromise what you've just stripped away from your life, your existince.

So do you want to follow your instincts or do you want to think better?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 357912
United States
10/28/2008 10:13 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: So I had 2 kids now I want to kill myself
Is there something wrong with me? I had two kids and I love them and everything but I really feel like I should NEVER had kids. I feel like I never get time for myslef at all and feel like maybe im being selfish for this?

Im the man in case you were wondering. It's like this, I get up, go to work, come home, people are here ALL THE GODDAMN TIME! So, work drives me crazy, I pay ALL the bills, i come home and the kids drive me nuts till they go to bed, and i get like 1 hr to myself then I pass-out, repeat..... Then my wife is always wondering why im so testy and I remember when she wanted another baby blah blah so we had the 2nd and really told her that I didnt want another and that I was just fine with 1. Now that we ahve two (which are reallly good boys) i just want to die man....WTF!!!!!!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 508656



Quit yer bitching. I raised two boys without a wife. I survived it just fine. Well, a little crazy and backward, but other than just fine.

They grow up eventually and then you'll have free time again. Unless you were stupid and waited until you were 30 to have kids. You weren't were you? You're supposed to have kids at 18-20. That way you still have some time left to live after thy grow up.
yomamma

User ID: 519315
United States
10/28/2008 10:15 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: So I had 2 kids now I want to kill myself
go to alabama before the law changes -im organizing a carpool.let me know if your in. 5a
i'd buy that for a dollar!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 530808
Hong Kong
10/28/2008 10:17 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: So I had 2 kids now I want to kill myself
Yep, White, 32, kids 9 + 3 (which is the 3yr stage thats KILLING ME!!!!)
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 508656



I have a 3 yo boy and a 13 mnth girl. Life sucks, but I figure things could be worse - at least they are healthy. Parenthood is a whole new world of pain.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 530808
Hong Kong
10/28/2008 10:17 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: So I had 2 kids now I want to kill myself
Yep, White, 32, kids 9 + 3 (which is the 3yr stage thats KILLING ME!!!!)
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 508656



I have a 3 yo boy and a 13 mnth girl. Life sucks, but I figure things could be worse - at least they are healthy. Parenthood is a whole new world of pain.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 381304
United States
10/28/2008 10:23 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: So I had 2 kids now I want to kill myself
BRO!!!!! IT'S TOUGH!!!! I know, I just have to myself. Let me ask you somethin',...did ya sacrifice a dream to keep this together? I did, several dreams. Did you forget how much yo enjoyed your own time and space while being a bachelor? I did, I never thought that being single was fun. I just wanted to be with someone and feel loved. The result dude, is kids. Let me just tell you, look at them, and understand that without them, you would never have understood such gorgeous faces. My children are beautifel, I mean BEAUTIFUL, to look at, to play with, to see them smile and hear them laugh....I have no time to myself, and truly if I did, I would be snorting coke, drinking a case a beer a day, and eating shit in vast quantities. Listen BRO, the reason why we desire "free" time is to do non-sense. I desire to be a great drummer; there are already great drummers out there, I desire to be a great marksman, plent out there, I desire to be great at guitar playing, many out there. But there are very few GREAT DADS. Be one. the best to your ability, BE ONE!!! Now go and kiss you boys and wish them good fortune in their days because it's gonna suck more for them that you.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 322321
Mexico
10/28/2008 10:23 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: So I had 2 kids now I want to kill myself
two sons !!! you are truly blessed

when they get old enough, get them in scouts - go camping with them, go to summer camp

you will think you are a kid again


I agree completely.

however I thought suicide threads were forbidden?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 537082


well , but in this case the church should not ban him from heaven !
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 381304
United States
10/28/2008 10:23 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: So I had 2 kids now I want to kill myself
bump bump
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 537297
United States
10/28/2008 10:25 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: So I had 2 kids now I want to kill myself
single here... free, with plenty of free time. I can't honestly say I know what you're going through, but I sympathize. For me, my "me" time, as an introvert, is a MUST. Not everyone wants every minute of their day filled up with activities with no time to just sit and relax.

I would like to have children though, if the right person happens to come along, no rush... someone who's cheap, willing to live in an older house, buy used vehicles, is down to earth, intelligent, practical, and of course a romantic who likes to cuddle, take walks, travel by car to scenic places around the country and all that great stuff.

hf
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 537601
Australia
10/28/2008 10:26 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: So I had 2 kids now I want to kill myself
Parenthood is a whole new world of pain alright, if only you didn't follow your instincts.

A lot of good and bad venting going on in this world of adults with childish minds.

Parenthood is a whole world full of instincts.

So the rest of your existince is just a figment of your imagination.

God bless you....

(not)
Sister G.
User ID: 480242
United States
10/28/2008 10:28 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: So I had 2 kids now I want to kill myself
Is there something wrong with me? I had two kids and I love them and everything but I really feel like I should NEVER had kids. I feel like I never get time for myslef at all and feel like maybe im being selfish for this?

Im the man in case you were wondering. It's like this, I get up, go to work, come home, people are here ALL THE GODDAMN TIME! So, work drives me crazy, I pay ALL the bills, i come home and the kids drive me nuts till they go to bed, and i get like 1 hr to myself then I pass-out, repeat..... Then my wife is always wondering why im so testy and I remember when she wanted another baby blah blah so we had the 2nd and really told her that I didnt want another and that I was just fine with 1. Now that we ahve two (which are reallly good boys) i just want to die man....WTF!!!!!!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 508656


I'm late to the party, as usual, so I haven't read the thread but I do have something to say...

Dude! Lighten up!!! We all need peace but you're just going to have to go somewhere for a weekend to get it.

Then you'll come back refreshed and ready to have fun with your family. Go pamper yourself, do something you want to do.

Heck, I don't know, go stay in a nice hotel and drink a bottle of wine then spend the evening in the spa getting a massage and sitting in the whirlpool then go back to your room, smoke some hooch, and call for room service dinner.

Or something like that. Do it two to three times per year and you will be a new man. Also, take some time each week to spend alone. Make the wife take the kids for the evening somewhere and you just hang out in your underwear watching movies.

Have some damn fun.
Mr. Reality
User ID: 526850
United States
10/28/2008 10:28 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: So I had 2 kids now I want to kill myself
HEED THIS WISDOM!

FIND A PLACE TO HIDE!

All men need their caves.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 285665
United States
10/28/2008 10:29 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: So I had 2 kids now I want to kill myself
Are you White?


Yep, White, 32, kids 9 + 3 (which is the 3yr stage thats KILLING ME!!!!)
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 508656




Get a babysitter or pawn the young one off on family once and awhile to catch a break.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 537354
New Zealand
10/28/2008 10:30 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: So I had 2 kids now I want to kill myself
IM A GODDAMN SLAVE !
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 508656

ohyeahwelcome to the New World Order!!!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 285665
United States
10/28/2008 10:31 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: So I had 2 kids now I want to kill myself
BRO!!!!! IT'S TOUGH!!!! I know, I just have to myself. Let me ask you somethin',...did ya sacrifice a dream to keep this together? I did, several dreams. Did you forget how much yo enjoyed your own time and space while being a bachelor? I did, I never thought that being single was fun. I just wanted to be with someone and feel loved. The result dude, is kids. Let me just tell you, look at them, and understand that without them, you would never have understood such gorgeous faces. My children are beautifel, I mean BEAUTIFUL, to look at, to play with, to see them smile and hear them laugh....I have no time to myself, and truly if I did, I would be snorting coke, drinking a case a beer a day, and eating shit in vast quantities. Listen BRO, the reason why we desire "free" time is to do non-sense. I desire to be a great drummer; there are already great drummers out there, I desire to be a great marksman, plent out there, I desire to be great at guitar playing, many out there. But there are very few GREAT DADS. Be one. the best to your ability, BE ONE!!! Now go and kiss you boys and wish them good fortune in their days because it's gonna suck more for them that you.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 381304




word
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 537058
United States
10/28/2008 10:32 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: So I had 2 kids now I want to kill myself
over 50% of people that have kids, SHOULDNT...


I have a saying ;

humans dont neccesarilly love kids, they love the action that produces kids....,
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 381304
United States
10/28/2008 10:35 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: So I had 2 kids now I want to kill myself
bump
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 534728
United States
10/28/2008 10:38 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: So I had 2 kids now I want to kill myself
unfortunately, for the OP, as well for most people, overcoming sex and its consequences requires a miracle.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 532439


Fortunately, there are birth control methods for either or both partners... So I don't think we're talking celibacy here!
Sherry
User ID: 431562
United States
10/28/2008 10:40 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: So I had 2 kids now I want to kill myself
I love my two little boys more than life itself BUT...I need my "me" time and find that I'm a better mom when I have it. The best solution that my husband and I have come up with is during free time (weekends) we take turns with the kids. He has them half a day Saturday and half a day Sunday, I get to do whatever the heck I want...sleep, shop, surf the internet, whatever. I have them the other half of the time on weekends. We find that we keep our sanity better than if we did "family time" all weekend. Luckily my husband and I had a few years of marriage pre-parenthood and feel pretty secure that our relationship will survive this period, to be reborn as something different but still viable when the kids are older...but we do both treasure the solo time that we get. You're not crazy, and good luck.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 381304
United States
10/28/2008 10:46 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: So I had 2 kids now I want to kill myself
I love my two little boys more than life itself BUT...I need my "me" time and find that I'm a better mom when I have it. The best solution that my husband and I have come up with is during free time (weekends) we take turns with the kids. He has them half a day Saturday and half a day Sunday, I get to do whatever the heck I want...sleep, shop, surf the internet, whatever. I have them the other half of the time on weekends. We find that we keep our sanity better than if we did "family time" all weekend. Luckily my husband and I had a few years of marriage pre-parenthood and feel pretty secure that our relationship will survive this period, to be reborn as something different but still viable when the kids are older...but we do both treasure the solo time that we get. You're not crazy, and good luck.
 Quoting: Sherry 431562

Good advice. you sound well grounded. not on the edge like me.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 321458
United States
10/28/2008 10:50 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: So I had 2 kids now I want to kill myself
You're supposed to have kids at 18-20. That way you still have some time left to live after thy grow up.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 357912


Sounds good in theory, but nowadays people who have done that find themselves as GRANDPARENTS at 35-40 after their kids get pregnant, and of course their 16 year old can't afford an apartment and so guess what - you end up being a parent ALL OVER AGAIN to your grandchildren!!!!!!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 521903
United States
10/28/2008 10:52 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: So I had 2 kids now I want to kill myself
Is there something wrong with me? I had two kids and I love them and everything but I really feel like I should NEVER had kids. I feel like I never get time for myslef at all and feel like maybe im being selfish for this?

Im the man in case you were wondering. It's like this, I get up, go to work, come home, people are here ALL THE GODDAMN TIME! So, work drives me crazy, I pay ALL the bills, i come home and the kids drive me nuts till they go to bed, and i get like 1 hr to myself then I pass-out, repeat..... Then my wife is always wondering why im so testy and I remember when she wanted another baby blah blah so we had the 2nd and really told her that I didnt want another and that I was just fine with 1. Now that we ahve two (which are reallly good boys) i just want to die man....WTF!!!!!!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 508656

LAY DONE RULES TELL HER WHAT YOU WANT TELL HER YOUR NOT HAPPY LET HER KNOW BEFORE THINGS GET BAD ,,GOOD LUCK OP
C.
User ID: 537597
United States
10/28/2008 11:02 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: So I had 2 kids now I want to kill myself
I think people should know how to at least spell before they can have kids, or knock someone for having or not having them.

Please LEARN HOW TO SPELL.

If you can't fucking spell, don't have kids.

Oh, and also, I have no husband or kids, HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!
Joyce Junior

User ID: 537222
United States
10/28/2008 11:12 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: So I had 2 kids now I want to kill myself
I think people should know how to at least spell before they can have kids, or knock someone for having or not having them.

Please LEARN HOW TO SPELL.

If you can't fucking spell, don't have kids.

Oh, and also, I have no husband or kids, HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!
 Quoting: C. 537597


This spelling fixation of yours must stem from the fact that you had to repeat 9th grade English comprehension 4 times before they kicked you out of high school for outgrowing the seats.

Go to bed and ... grab a dictionary on the way... It'll comfort you...

Sad, sad creature...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 537680
Australia
10/28/2008 11:28 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: So I had 2 kids now I want to kill myself
You have 2 kids and you want to kill yourself?

Ok, lets look at the financial crisis looming before you:

To sustain the income to keep your kids alive and barely yourselves, lets do the math:

Mortgage: 350,000 approx
Personal loan (car etc): 35,000
Credit cards (depending on limit and expenses): 15,000
Expenses per year (including kids expenses and schooling):
60,000 +
Income (whether combined or single): 60,000 per year (not including tax deduction)

So...
Add up all your expenses
Add up all your income
Add up all your liabilities such as car, house, kids etc
Add up all your assets such as investment property etc
And what do you get?

Zero savings and a huge deficit in your family budget.
There is a black hole in your life!

You and your wife will spend together on your kids alone, that is your kids alone, a huge 2.5 million dollars by the time they are 18 years old.

So what do you get in the end?
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

That's right! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!

Beware of adult childlike minded humans who manipulate you with their guilt tripping instincts, conturing up ploys such as 'they mean the world to us' etc, etc. They are too embarrassed to be alone when it comes to financial assistance.

Never mind affection the kids suck right out of you, look at your financial situation and work it out.

DO THE MATH!

You're poor.
You will be homeless
You are a slave to them

Do something about your situation financially and if you don't...
You will be ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!!

News








We're dropping truth bombs like it's the end of days!