Obama’s concession speech leaked...

Obama’s concession speech leaked...
Oh, if only...

They’d be the only true words this despicable narcissist ever spoke. Therefore, he will never, ever utter them.

LEAK: Obama Concession Draft Admits He’s UnfitObama’s concession speech!


(2008-10-31) — The text of an address written by a Barack Obama speech writer, apparently scheduled for delivery on election night, inadvertently leaked to the L.A. Times today and was immediately released on the paper’s website.

The first line of the speech says, “I spoke with Sen. McCain on the phone moments ago, and I offered him and Gov. Palin our congratulations on their victory.”

With polls showing the gap between Senators McCain and Obama closing fast in the final days, the discovery of an Obama concession speech draft holds less surprise than the content of the manuscript itself, which appears to offer a sweeping admission that the junior senator from Illinois has believed all along that he was unqualified for the presidency.

The Obama for America campaign immediately disavowed the speech, but not before it had “gone viral” on the Internet, forcing normally-circumspect news organizations to reprint and repeat its questionable content without confirmation of its source.

Here are excerpts of Sen. Obama’s planned concession speech.

“My fellow people of the world, honestly…you’ve been duped. I’ve spent the past two years holding my chin up, cocking my head slightly, speaking in measured tones with great seriousness, practicing the choreographed body language of a supremely-confident leader. Frankly, I never really thought you’d buy it. But the crowds kept getting bigger, thanks to pre-speech concerts by top recording artists and celebrity endorsements. After a while, even I started to believe that I could bring change to Washington D.C., and bring hope to your pathetic lives.”

“I tried to send little signals — to issue a personal cry for help. I thought when I picked Joe Biden as VP that would bring down this whole house of cards. I mean, come on…the guy’s a gaffe machine on Red Bull, who didn’t top one percent in the Iowa caucuses. He comes from a state with a population lower than Detroit, but you guys treated him like he’s some sort of distinguished elder statesman.”

“I snubbed Hillary Clinton who had racked up 18 million votes, thinking that someone would eventually step in and do one of those interventions like they do for alcoholics, so that I could get the help I so desperately needed…but you just kept on enabling me.”

“Sarah Palin tried to tell you that I’m a socialist, but you wouldn’t listen. Instead the media viciously ridiculed a woman who has actual executive experience, the highest popularity rating of any U.S. governor, a demonstrated track record of fiscal responsibility, and a personal story of hard work, determination, grace under fire and success that I think represents the ultimate expression of feminist ideals. But the liberal feminists came out of the closet and all but admitted they didn’t really want a woman in the executive branch, they wanted a liberal. And so here I am — Jane Fonda with a baritone voice and a buzz cut.”

“Has there ever been a presidential candidate with more friends who hate America — who pray and work for the overthrow of our capitalist Republic? After the media bought my excuses about Jeremiah Wright, Bill Ayers and Rashid Khalidi, I’ll admit, I started getting a little cocky. At night Michelle and I would sit down on the campaign plane and draw up lists of repugnant people that I could befriend just to see how low we could go and still ride high in the polls.”

“I kept thinking that my radical position on abortion would be the device that would leave my campaign flopping on the floor choking on its own juices. Instead, there was this willing suspension of disbelief that allowed you to brush that under the rug, and throw the rug in the soiled linens closet. Out of sight, out of mind.”

“On foreign policy…The surge (that I opposed) in the Iraq war (that I opposed) has succeeded beyond my wildest imaginings. Yet you backed me up when I said that I was going to get those troops out that quagmire right away, or in 16 months, whichever comes first. Do you people even listen to the words of my speeches, or are you just mesmerized by the rhythmic vibrations of my vocal chords?”

“Anyway, lots of typical white folks are now hiding in their homes clinging to their bibles as they load their guns because they think that black folks are going to take to the streets and riot just because I lost. But come on now…do you think if McCain had lost, millions of old folks would be out there tipping police cars and breaking store windows with their canes?”

“In closing, I just want to thank all of the little people, and their imaginary friends, for the $600 million in contributions. You can be sure that every penny went to a good cause. Thanks to your generosity hundreds of oppressed, downtrodden and needy political operatives are able to keep a roof over their heads that they can retract in warm weather.”

“Traditionally, politicians end their speeches by saying, ‘God bless you, and God bless the United States of America’. But since you’ve probably heard that recording of my pastor, let me just say, in the words of Scripture, that I will always remember you as ‘the least of these‘, and feel confident in knowing that I have done it unto you.”
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