Very Complicated Request, Please Kindly Read

If you are groggy or stoned please do not read this, I need your
complete and sober attention, for my request is uniquely detailed. I am
a man, 35, white, black hair with brown eyes. Okay, first what I am
looking for is a woman primarily, but secondarily it could be a woman and
her man, but the man will have to remain behind the black curtain and
only watch through the cut out eyeholes. The black curtain is inside
the apartment that I reside in. This apartment is a fashionable studio
in the hot part of town, and all my neighbors are graphic artists. So
now please kindly listen to my request: what I require foremost in a
woman with bushy eyebrows. And they must be TWO eyebrows, because one
eyebrow is an abomination against Gaia. What I want is for the woman to
become naked and pose herself before me. I have a carpeted pedestal so
her feet will not grow cold. I will present her with a very well
preserved Mesopotamian bowl. She will hold it and she must be careful
not to drop it as it has to be back at the museum by 8am tomorrow (I am
a worker there). Next I will hand her tweezers. Then she will pluck her
eyebrows until her forehead is vacant. The eyebrows will drift into the
bowl and then I will take the bowl from her and go to my kitchenette. I
will then toss a salad into the bowl and mix the eyebrows in it. The
woman can decide the dressing, but I have only vinegrette and thousand
island. Next I will re-present the bowl to the woman, along with a
utensil, and she will then consume the salad while I watch. I may
masturbate during this part of the exercise. However, if there is a man
behind the black curtain he may not masturbate, and I will know if does
because I will hear him. However, he is allowed to fantasize, and then
he will write an essay on his fantasies before I release him. After the
woman is finished with her salad, I will present her with a Qing
dynasty teapot box, which she will open and deficate in. She must be
careful with the box as well as it is also from the mueseum and it must
be returned or there will be trouble. When she is finished she will
return it to me, and I then I will bid her good-evening. That is all.
Please send a photo, eyebrows only. I WILL NOT respond to any photos
that include anything but eyebrows.


Please, serious inquiries ONLY. THIS IS NOT JOKE. So do not make funny
replies to it. I have no patience for impertinence. Good day.


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