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I'm officially of Mergovingian/Plantagenet/Kennedy blood... am I evil enough to join the Illuminati now?

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 549085
United States
11/13/2008 10:24 PM
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I'm officially of Mergovingian/Plantagenet/Kennedy blood... am I evil enough to join the Illuminati now?
So, I'm pretty well into an extensive genealogical project, researching my bloodline, and I've come across an interesting discovery:

I'm a product of THE BLOODLINES. You know. THOSE. All the way back to the triple digits... Charlemagne, William the Conqueror, Kings of England and Scotland, Presidents... And not just related by means of one parent or set of grandparents, but by many sets, some intersecting due to blue blood interbreeding.

Now...

1) There's gotta be somewhere I can write to get my Illuminati card, right? I want all the benefits of my evil blood, goddammit.

2) Will I be spared the coming destruction by some secret genetic code conspiracy? Do the Nephilim have my address and will they pick me up in their space craft?

3) Am I hell bound by Cain's predestination, or is my rogue belief in a loving God just a fallacy?

As far as how I feel... I feel pretty much the same as before I discovered this, although when I'm on the street and some bitch with a stroller won't move out of my way, I do secretly wish that I could wield my genetic powers of evil. Just being honest.

Help me out here, GLP experts. What is my fate?

Idol1
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 548997
United States
11/13/2008 10:26 PM
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Re: I'm officially of Mergovingian/Plantagenet/Kennedy blood... am I evil enough to join the Illuminati now?
So, I'm pretty well into an extensive genealogical project, researching my bloodline, and I've come across an interesting discovery:

I'm a product of THE BLOODLINES. You know. THOSE. All the way back to the triple digits... Charlemagne, William the Conqueror, Kings of England and Scotland, Presidents... And not just related by means of one parent or set of grandparents, but by many sets, some intersecting due to blue blood interbreeding.

Now...

1) There's gotta be somewhere I can write to get my Illuminati card, right? I want all the benefits of my evil blood, goddammit.

2) Will I be spared the coming destruction by some secret genetic code conspiracy? Do the Nephilim have my address and will they pick me up in their space craft?

3) Am I hell bound by Cain's predestination, or is my rogue belief in a loving God just a fallacy?

As far as how I feel... I feel pretty much the same as before I discovered this, although when I'm on the street and some bitch with a stroller won't move out of my way, I do secretly wish that I could wield my genetic powers of evil. Just being honest.

Help me out here, GLP experts. What is my fate?

Idol1
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 549085


Ciggy, you got to stop this. You came here also to try and get a 'tape worm', are you not ashamed?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 550599
United States
11/13/2008 10:29 PM
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Re: I'm officially of Mergovingian/Plantagenet/Kennedy blood... am I evil enough to join the Illuminati now?
You will be roasted in hell!over and over forever!

Not because of your bloodline,or maybe


Its the bitch stroller thing you said!


Chew on that you blue blooded pig bitch!
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 549085
United States
11/13/2008 10:35 PM
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Re: I'm officially of Mergovingian/Plantagenet/Kennedy blood... am I evil enough to join the Illuminati now?
You will be roasted in hell!over and over forever!

Not because of your bloodline,or maybe


Its the bitch stroller thing you said!


Chew on that you blue blooded pig bitch!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 550599


You go to hell for thinking thoughts? Uh oh.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 7279787
United States
01/25/2012 04:37 AM
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Re: I'm officially of Mergovingian/Plantagenet/Kennedy blood... am I evil enough to join the Illuminati now?
So, I'm pretty well into an extensive genealogical project, researching my bloodline, and I've come across an interesting discovery:

I'm a product of THE BLOODLINES. You know. THOSE. All the way back to the triple digits... Charlemagne, William the Conqueror, Kings of England and Scotland, Presidents... And not just related by means of one parent or set of grandparents, but by many sets, some intersecting due to blue blood interbreeding.

Now...

1) There's gotta be somewhere I can write to get my Illuminati card, right? I want all the benefits of my evil blood, goddammit.

2) Will I be spared the coming destruction by some secret genetic code conspiracy? Do the Nephilim have my address and will they pick me up in their space craft?

3) Am I hell bound by Cain's predestination, or is my rogue belief in a loving God just a fallacy?

As far as how I feel... I feel pretty much the same as before I discovered this, although when I'm on the street and some bitch with a stroller won't move out of my way, I do secretly wish that I could wield my genetic powers of evil. Just being honest.

Help me out here, GLP experts. What is my fate?

Idol1
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 549085


[link to newfalconbooks.net]

this is a cool read, it explains how the 'illuminati card' as you put it falls down the pike, and how to beat them at their own game. think i might give it a try too!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 9537352
United States
01/25/2012 04:56 AM
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Re: I'm officially of Mergovingian/Plantagenet/Kennedy blood... am I evil enough to join the Illuminati now?
If you can't trace your lineage and KNOW any further than Europe, you aren't going to be considered for admission to the club....

Idol1
Jonny Blaze

User ID: 1671225
United States
01/25/2012 05:06 AM

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Re: I'm officially of Mergovingian/Plantagenet/Kennedy blood... am I evil enough to join the Illuminati now?
So, I'm pretty well into an extensive genealogical project, researching my bloodline, and I've come across an interesting discovery:

I'm a product of THE BLOODLINES. You know. THOSE. All the way back to the triple digits... Charlemagne, William the Conqueror, Kings of England and Scotland, Presidents... And not just related by means of one parent or set of grandparents, but by many sets, some intersecting due to blue blood interbreeding.

Now...

1) There's gotta be somewhere I can write to get my Illuminati card, right? I want all the benefits of my evil blood, goddammit.

2) Will I be spared the coming destruction by some secret genetic code conspiracy? Do the Nephilim have my address and will they pick me up in their space craft?

3) Am I hell bound by Cain's predestination, or is my rogue belief in a loving God just a fallacy?

As far as how I feel... I feel pretty much the same as before I discovered this, although when I'm on the street and some bitch with a stroller won't move out of my way, I do secretly wish that I could wield my genetic powers of evil. Just being honest.

Help me out here, GLP experts. What is my fate?

Idol1
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 549085


Your totally screwed. You have already been left out of the 'club' regardless of your blood birthright.

May's well join the resistance.
The engravings translate to "This space intentionally left blank."

The prayer is inscribed in an ancient script, rarely used today. It seems to be a philippic against small insects, absent-mindedness, and the picking up and dropping of small objects.

The gate is open; through it you can see a desolation, with a pile of mangled bodies in one corner. Thousands of voices, lamenting some hideous fate, can be heard.
The way through the gate is barred by evil spirits, who jeer at your attempts to pass.
Jonny Blaze

User ID: 1671225
United States
01/25/2012 05:08 AM

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Re: I'm officially of Mergovingian/Plantagenet/Kennedy blood... am I evil enough to join the Illuminati now?
So, I'm pretty well into an extensive genealogical project, researching my bloodline, and I've come across an interesting discovery:

I'm a product of THE BLOODLINES. You know. THOSE. All the way back to the triple digits... Charlemagne, William the Conqueror, Kings of England and Scotland, Presidents... And not just related by means of one parent or set of grandparents, but by many sets, some intersecting due to blue blood interbreeding.

Now...

1) There's gotta be somewhere I can write to get my Illuminati card, right? I want all the benefits of my evil blood, goddammit.

2) Will I be spared the coming destruction by some secret genetic code conspiracy? Do the Nephilim have my address and will they pick me up in their space craft?

3) Am I hell bound by Cain's predestination, or is my rogue belief in a loving God just a fallacy?

As far as how I feel... I feel pretty much the same as before I discovered this, although when I'm on the street and some bitch with a stroller won't move out of my way, I do secretly wish that I could wield my genetic powers of evil. Just being honest.

Help me out here, GLP experts. What is my fate?

Idol1
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 549085


Your totally screwed. You have already been left out of the 'club' regardless of your blood birthright.

May's well join the resistance.
 Quoting: Jonny Blaze


If you can't join 'em, beat 'em...as the saying goes.
The engravings translate to "This space intentionally left blank."

The prayer is inscribed in an ancient script, rarely used today. It seems to be a philippic against small insects, absent-mindedness, and the picking up and dropping of small objects.

The gate is open; through it you can see a desolation, with a pile of mangled bodies in one corner. Thousands of voices, lamenting some hideous fate, can be heard.
The way through the gate is barred by evil spirits, who jeer at your attempts to pass.
truecolours
User ID: 12953033
United States
03/23/2012 03:17 PM
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Re: I'm officially of Mergovingian/Plantagenet/Kennedy blood... am I evil enough to join the Illuminati now?
I too am directly related to "The Bloodline" by way of three pivotal families and one indirectly from the 17th century back to the 1st century (wink, wink). I feel your pain cousin! I think we're screwed too. When our ancestors became Americans and helped to build this nation, they gave up the titles. Probably hid them for fear of ostracism from society. Either way, the titles obviously became irrelevant by the late 18th century. We're so lost from the Noble list dude;but if the Queen asks. . . LOL Assuming we survive the coming thermal nuclear war. Now about the evil thinking cousin. You really need to relax or people will think you have anger issues. Just smite the bad guys.

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