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If you are groggy or stoned please do not read this

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 261867
Canada
11/18/2008 07:07 PM
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If you are groggy or stoned please do not read this
I need your
complete and sober attention, for my request is uniquely detailed. I am
a man, 35, white, black hair with brown eyes. Okay, first what I am
looking for is a woman primarily, but secondarily it could be a woman and
her man, but the man will have to remain behind the black curtain and
only watch through the cut out eyeholes. The black curtain is inside
the apartment that I reside in. This apartment is a fashionable studio
in the hot part of town, and all my neighbors are graphic artists. So
now please kindly listen to my request: what I require foremost is a
woman with bushy eyebrows. And they must be TWO eyebrows, because one
eyebrow is an abomination against Gaia. What I want is for the woman to
become naked and pose herself before me. I have a carpeted pedestal so
her feet will not grow cold. I will present her with a very well
preserved Mesopotamian bowl. She will hold it and she must be careful
not to drop it as it has to be back at the museum by 8am tomorrow (I am
a worker there). Next I will hand her tweezers. Then she will pluck her
eyebrows until her forehead is vacant. The eyebrows will drift into the
bowl and then I will take the bowl from her and go to my kitchenette. I
will then toss a salad into the bowl and mix the eyebrows in it. The
woman can decide the dressing, but I have only vinegrette and thousand
island. Next I will re-present the bowl to the woman, along with a
utensil, and she will then consume the salad while I watch. I may
masturbate during this part of the exercise. However, if there is a man
behind the black curtain he may not masturbate, and I will know if does
because I will hear him. However, he is allowed to fantasize, and then
he must write an essay on his fantasies before I release him. After the
woman is finished with her salad, I will present her with a Qing
dynasty teapot box, which she will open and deficate in. She must be
careful with the box as well as it is also from the museum and it must
be returned or there will be trouble. When she is finished she will
return it to me, and I then I will bid her good-evening. That is all.
Please send a photo, eyebrows only. I WILL NOT respond to any photos
that include anything but eyebrows.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 530432
United States
11/18/2008 07:09 PM
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Re: If you are groggy or stoned please do not read this
wtf
Yeah, Whatever

User ID: 377738
United States
11/18/2008 07:10 PM
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Re: If you are groggy or stoned please do not read this
OMG...I guess I should have heeded the warning.
ObeyTheOctopus

User ID: 452708
United States
11/18/2008 07:10 PM
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Re: If you are groggy or stoned please do not read this
Can we drop the essay requirement?
"Buy the ticket, take the ride."
Dragon Child

User ID: 549836
United States
11/18/2008 07:10 PM
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Re: If you are groggy or stoned please do not read this
wtf

Do you have any idea what kind of website you are on???????????????

On the other hand - I guess you do - lunatic fringe!!!!!!
"Imagination is more important than knowledge" - Albert Einstein

revstargazer (at) hotmail.com
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 553932
United States
11/18/2008 07:11 PM
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Re: If you are groggy or stoned please do not read this
from craigslist....posted last week
falldown

User ID: 520470
United States
11/18/2008 07:11 PM
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Re: If you are groggy or stoned please do not read this
wtf
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 530432

It's the same thing that gets posted a couple times a day. AC probably gets annoyed because I usually do this:

eekperv
chuckle
~
~
"He who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words." ~Elbert Hubbard
rachel
User ID: 529732
United States
11/18/2008 07:11 PM
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Re: If you are groggy or stoned please do not read this
$2,000
Treasure Bound

User ID: 520207
United States
11/18/2008 07:11 PM
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Re: If you are groggy or stoned please do not read this
shocked
"We don't inherit the earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children"--Native-American proverb

People were created to be loved while things were created to be used. The reason the world is in chaos is that, things are being loved and people are being used

:Treasures122:

In Solidarity with Janey
[link to i25.photobucket.com]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 514253
United States
11/18/2008 07:11 PM
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Re: If you are groggy or stoned please do not read this
I'm fuckin trippin...yeah definitely should hav heeded the warning.
rachel
User ID: 529732
United States
11/18/2008 07:12 PM
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Re: If you are groggy or stoned please do not read this
make that 5.didnt read whole thing
refugee13

User ID: 432561
United States
11/18/2008 07:12 PM
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Re: If you are groggy or stoned please do not read this
OMG...I guess I should have heeded the warning.
 Quoting: Yeah, Whatever

I'm way too high for this kinda shit myself...lol
"Livin' The Dream..."

"Don't believe in anyone, 'cos they'll feel you so much more"

"So break me down if it makes you feel right~and hate me now if it keeps you alright~you can't break me down if it takes all your might~cause I'm so much more than meets the eye..."

"Some people would bitch if their ice cream was cold..."

rachel
User ID: 529732
United States
11/18/2008 07:13 PM
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Re: If you are groggy or stoned please do not read this
holy shit make it 10. u must be rich mother fer to even request this shit
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 554065
United Kingdom
11/18/2008 07:15 PM
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Re: If you are groggy or stoned please do not read this
dude................. did he just say eyebrow salad?
falldown

User ID: 520470
United States
11/18/2008 07:17 PM
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Re: If you are groggy or stoned please do not read this
holy shit make it 10. u must be rich mother fer to even request this shit
 Quoting: rachel 529732

If not rich then OP has way, way, way, too much time on his hands.
~
~
"He who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words." ~Elbert Hubbard
CitrusKush

User ID: 522637
United States
11/18/2008 07:18 PM
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Re: If you are groggy or stoned please do not read this
laugh laugh

Does anyone else find this shit funny? Maybe it's just me since I'm so high right now. rastabanan

wtf
"If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their money, first by inflation and then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around them, will deprive the people of their property until their children will wake up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered." -Thomas Jefferson

"This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it, or their revolutionary right to dismember it or overthrow it."
-Abraham Lincoln

Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.
-Benjamin Franklin
refugee13

User ID: 432561
United States
11/18/2008 07:20 PM
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Re: If you are groggy or stoned please do not read this
laugh laugh

Does anyone else find this shit funny? Maybe it's just me since I'm so high right now. rastabanan

wtf
 Quoting: CitrusKush

I just couldn't believe what I was reading...
"Livin' The Dream..."

"Don't believe in anyone, 'cos they'll feel you so much more"

"So break me down if it makes you feel right~and hate me now if it keeps you alright~you can't break me down if it takes all your might~cause I'm so much more than meets the eye..."

"Some people would bitch if their ice cream was cold..."

Anonymous Coward
User ID: 550316
United Kingdom
11/18/2008 07:20 PM
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Re: If you are groggy or stoned please do not read this
EYEBROW SALAD?
Bump!
LOL!
NikkiLaVey

User ID: 553743
United States
11/18/2008 07:21 PM
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Re: If you are groggy or stoned please do not read this
Hmmm I wonder if this is the same guy who wanted me to beat him with live eels while he licked my boot??
If we don't help each other who will

Dream the Good Dream,

Nikki
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 302511
11/18/2008 07:22 PM
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Re: If you are groggy or stoned please do not read this
Op's posted it before.


the guy is a pathetic mental case.
Treasure Bound

User ID: 520207
United States
11/18/2008 07:23 PM
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Re: If you are groggy or stoned please do not read this
I dunno if I am going to ever be able to eat salad without thinking of brows again..........HEY Nice going OP......ya fraktard.........what a visual ACK
"We don't inherit the earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children"--Native-American proverb

People were created to be loved while things were created to be used. The reason the world is in chaos is that, things are being loved and people are being used

:Treasures122:

In Solidarity with Janey
[link to i25.photobucket.com]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 550316
United Kingdom
11/18/2008 07:24 PM
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Re: If you are groggy or stoned please do not read this
Does this do it for ya pal?



Lol!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 550316
United Kingdom
11/18/2008 07:24 PM
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Re: If you are groggy or stoned please do not read this
Does this do it for ya pal?



Lol!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 497155
United States
11/18/2008 07:25 PM
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Re: If you are groggy or stoned please do not read this
The OP is totally insane. It's ery sad to see a life wasted this way because of mental imbalance and defect, probably genetic, or caused by abuse. People, please take responsibility for the children you conceive and how you raise them.
CitrusKush

User ID: 522637
United States
11/18/2008 07:26 PM
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Re: If you are groggy or stoned please do not read this
"but the man will have to remain behind the black curtain and
only watch through the cut out eyeholes."

LOL
"If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their money, first by inflation and then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around them, will deprive the people of their property until their children will wake up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered." -Thomas Jefferson

"This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it, or their revolutionary right to dismember it or overthrow it."
-Abraham Lincoln

Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.
-Benjamin Franklin
Yeah, Whatever

User ID: 377738
United States
11/18/2008 07:27 PM
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Re: If you are groggy or stoned please do not read this
what I require foremost is a
woman with bushy eyebrows. And they must be TWO eyebrows, because one
eyebrow is an abomination against Gaia.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 261867


jihad2
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 527576
United States
11/18/2008 07:28 PM
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Re: If you are groggy or stoned please do not read this
I wonder if the Mods ever ban him for posting crap like that?
ObeyTheOctopus

User ID: 452708
United States
11/18/2008 07:29 PM
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Re: If you are groggy or stoned please do not read this
I'm frankly surprised that there are this many users online right now who are not groggy or stoned.
"Buy the ticket, take the ride."
falldown

User ID: 520470
United States
11/18/2008 07:31 PM
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Re: If you are groggy or stoned please do not read this
I dunno if I am going to ever be able to eat salad without thinking of brows again..........HEY Nice going OP......ya fraktard.........what a visual ACK
 Quoting: Treasure Bound

I was thinking I'm never going to drink tea out of an antique set anymore...
~
~
"He who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words." ~Elbert Hubbard
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 488240
United States
11/18/2008 07:32 PM
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Re: If you are groggy or stoned please do not read this
agent
CitrusKush

User ID: 522637
United States
11/18/2008 07:35 PM
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Re: If you are groggy or stoned please do not read this
This is some Jerry Springer shit.
"If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their money, first by inflation and then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around them, will deprive the people of their property until their children will wake up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered." -Thomas Jefferson

"This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it, or their revolutionary right to dismember it or overthrow it."
-Abraham Lincoln

Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.
-Benjamin Franklin

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