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White House Exploring ´Rapture´ Contingency Plans

 
star gazer
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01/11/2005 01:16 AM
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White House Exploring ´Rapture´ Contingency Plans
The White House is reportedly exploring contingency plans in the event that President Bush and other prominent Christians are ´raptured.´ But succession plans are complicated by Vice President Dick Cheney´s poor health and the fact that Representative Tom DeLay, like President Bush, will be summoned to heaven along with millions of other Christians.


Party leaders address presidential succession, security needs in event that President Bush, other believers are summoned to heaven.

By Deanna Swift

WASHINGTON, DC—What if the rapture, the much-anticipated event in which God summons his faithful followers out of this world, happened on George W. Bush´s watch? Until recently this seemingly far-fetched question was the stuff of Christian message boards. But with the White House well known for putting faith front and center, officials are reportedly at work on a contingency plan spelling out how to run the country in the event that President Bush and other top-ranking Christians are ´raptured.´

White House officials are said to be concerned by a recent up-tick in the Rapture Ready Index, a self-proclaimed prophetic speedometer of end-time activity that monitors such seemingly disparate factors as the crime rate, unemployment, wild weather and the "mark of the Beast," evidence of activity related to the antichrist. The Rapture Ready Index recently reached 157, a high for 2004, pushed upwards by a new CUNY study showing that the number of Pagans in the US has skyrocketed of late. The "mark of the Beast" category was also upgraded as a result of a nation-wide push to replace bar codes product labels with radio tags.



[link to swiftreport.blogs.com]
"The lunatic is on the grass
The lunatic is on the grass
Remembering games and daisy chains and laughs
Got to keep the loonies on the path..."
Anonymous Coward
12/08/2005 10:11 AM
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Re: White House Exploring ´Rapture´ Contingency Plans
WHAT? Bush is all for chipping your ass for "your safety of course!" What hog wash crap is this?
star gazer (OP)

12/08/2005 10:11 AM
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Re: White House Exploring ´Rapture´ Contingency Plans
Pretty funny - no?!lmao
"The lunatic is on the grass
The lunatic is on the grass
Remembering games and daisy chains and laughs
Got to keep the loonies on the path..."
AA (OP)

12/08/2005 10:11 AM
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Re: White House Exploring ´Rapture´ Contingency Plans
WTF, please tell me this is a joke. 1doh1
"The lunatic is on the grass
The lunatic is on the grass
Remembering games and daisy chains and laughs
Got to keep the loonies on the path..."
I see fascism (OP)

12/08/2005 10:11 AM
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Re: White House Exploring ´Rapture´ Contingency Plans
He is waiting for a "rapture" though. Except this "rapture" may be his reuniting with his anscestors. alienshipKDalienship
"The lunatic is on the grass
The lunatic is on the grass
Remembering games and daisy chains and laughs
Got to keep the loonies on the path..."
velocedog (OP)

12/08/2005 10:11 AM
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Re: White House Exploring ´Rapture´ Contingency Plans
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"
(visualise a JACK KIRBY two-pager in this space)
"The lunatic is on the grass
The lunatic is on the grass
Remembering games and daisy chains and laughs
Got to keep the loonies on the path..."
star gazer (OP)

12/08/2005 10:11 AM
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Re: White House Exploring ´Rapture´ Contingency Plans
If Bush gets raptured, I´ll be glad to stay behind! 1rof1
"The lunatic is on the grass
The lunatic is on the grass
Remembering games and daisy chains and laughs
Got to keep the loonies on the path..."
Alxander Raven (OP)

12/08/2005 10:11 AM
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Re: White House Exploring ´Rapture´ Contingency Plans
IN SELFLESS PAROXYSM OF PHILANTHROPY, PRESIDENT BUSH DONATES $10,000 OF HIS PERSONAL $26 MILLION FORTUNE TO TSUNAMI RELIEF-RELATED PROGRAM ACTIVITIES

[link to www.whitehouse.org]
"The lunatic is on the grass
The lunatic is on the grass
Remembering games and daisy chains and laughs
Got to keep the loonies on the path..."
Anonymous Coward
12/08/2005 10:11 AM
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Re: White House Exploring ´Rapture´ Contingency Plans
never laughed so hard in a long time

thanks for the humor

prominent xtians

wow
stgeorge (OP)

12/08/2005 10:11 AM
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Re: White House Exploring ´Rapture´ Contingency Plans
"Wait until the time comes,if it ever does..." his philosophy.
"The lunatic is on the grass
The lunatic is on the grass
Remembering games and daisy chains and laughs
Got to keep the loonies on the path..."
Anonymous Coward
12/08/2005 10:11 AM
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Re: White House Exploring ´Rapture´ Contingency Plans
Mr Bush´s will not be ´rapturing´ any time soon. He has bought a one-way ticket to the very very hot and fiery basement!
Anonymous Coward
12/08/2005 10:11 AM
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Re: White House Exploring ´Rapture´ Contingency Plans
Wait everyone...this is from the same woo woo who thought that picture was from the tsunami that just struck.

See what happens to your ability to reason when you become a woo woo?

lmao
Privateer (OP)

12/08/2005 10:11 AM
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Re: White House Exploring ´Rapture´ Contingency Plans
You mean Mr. Chenny isn´t going to?

I’m laughing on the outside but,

I’m (ROFLMAO) on the inside.

Carry On
"The lunatic is on the grass
The lunatic is on the grass
Remembering games and daisy chains and laughs
Got to keep the loonies on the path..."
Anonymous Coward
12/08/2005 10:11 AM
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Re: White House Exploring ´Rapture´ Contingency Plans
Be pure
dont strain your brain
cause you´ll be singin in the rain
Anonymous Coward
12/08/2005 10:11 AM
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Re: White House Exploring ´Rapture´ Contingency Plans
Rapture?

Ok, this is really getting old. Does anyone that actually believes in a rapture even bother to read the real history on that silly belief and find out where it truly comes from?

Bush is a satanist. He and every other politician are not about to be Gods children doing and acting like they do. They are murderers for riches and power and are not Godly in the slightest.

This story is bogus and so are people who think there is some sort of rapture.

Cultists - All of them!
phoenix rising (OP)

12/08/2005 10:11 AM
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I agree with 9:30..
"The lunatic is on the grass
The lunatic is on the grass
Remembering games and daisy chains and laughs
Got to keep the loonies on the path..."
Anonymous Coward
12/08/2005 10:11 AM
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Re: White House Exploring ´Rapture´ Contingency Plans
Question foor you all nea sayers. Please be honest and take a moment to think about it.

What are you going to do if the rapture dose happen?
That would mean that the Bible was right?
If the rapture dose happen and the bible is right then that means there is going to be 7 years of pain and death until Christ reture. Dose´nt it?

Who cares about Bush and the rest. These questions should be asked and each one of you must answer them honestly.

What if it is true?
Anonymous Coward
12/08/2005 10:11 AM
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Re: White House Exploring ´Rapture´ Contingency Plans
Question foor you all nea sayers. Please be honest and take a moment to think about it.

What are you going to do if the rapture dose happen?
That would mean that the Bible was right?
If the rapture dose happen and the bible is right then that means there is going to be 7 years of pain and death until Christ reture. Dose´nt it?

Who cares about Bush and the rest. These questions should be asked and each one of you must answer them honestly.

What if it is true?
1doh1
Anonymous Coward
12/08/2005 10:11 AM
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Re: White House Exploring ´Rapture´ Contingency Plans
Question foor you all nea sayers. Please be honest and take a moment to think about it.

What are you going to do if the rapture dose happen?
That would mean that the Bible was right?
If the rapture dose happen and the bible is right then that means there is going to be 7 years of pain and death until Christ reture. Dose´nt it?

Who cares about Bush and the rest. These questions should be asked and each one of you must answer them honestly.

What if it is true?
1doh1
Heathen Woo Woo (OP)

12/08/2005 10:11 AM
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Re: White House Exploring ´Rapture´ Contingency Plans
"If the rapture comes,

can I have your car?"
"The lunatic is on the grass
The lunatic is on the grass
Remembering games and daisy chains and laughs
Got to keep the loonies on the path..."
Anonymous Coward
12/08/2005 10:11 AM
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Re: White House Exploring ´Rapture´ Contingency Plans
All hail Lucifer the true GOD!stoner
fatwilly (OP)

12/08/2005 10:11 AM
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Re: White House Exploring ´Rapture´ Contingency Plans
Jews take all!
"The lunatic is on the grass
The lunatic is on the grass
Remembering games and daisy chains and laughs
Got to keep the loonies on the path..."
captain obvious (OP)

12/08/2005 10:11 AM
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Re: White House Exploring ´Rapture´ Contingency Plans
Can you say, "Left Behind"?
"The lunatic is on the grass
The lunatic is on the grass
Remembering games and daisy chains and laughs
Got to keep the loonies on the path..."
. (OP)

12/08/2005 10:11 AM
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Re: White House Exploring ´Rapture´ Contingency Plans
God, this world is pathetic.
"The lunatic is on the grass
The lunatic is on the grass
Remembering games and daisy chains and laughs
Got to keep the loonies on the path..."
Anonymous Coward
12/08/2005 10:11 AM
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Re: White House Exploring ´Rapture´ Contingency Plans
there is only one word for Bushwacker: DELUSIONAL!!

think god will be proud of killing all the children in Iraw.
Anonymous Coward
12/08/2005 10:11 AM
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Re: White House Exploring ´Rapture´ Contingency Plans
I see that its a hard question to answer. REMEMBER what comes out of your mouth you wil be convicted of at the time of judgement. SO be care full with thoughs answers.

May God be with each of you
star gazer (OP)

12/08/2005 10:11 AM
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Re: White House Exploring ´Rapture´ Contingency Plans
Hey -

Anonymous Coward
1/11/2005
7:32 am EST

Just because I post something doesn´t mean I believe it! This was a blog from another website - which you´d know if you bothered to check the link. I thought it was quite entertaining and very funny.

As for the tsunami photo - thought it was way cool - fake or not - and wanted to share it with all of you.

Get a clue!
"The lunatic is on the grass
The lunatic is on the grass
Remembering games and daisy chains and laughs
Got to keep the loonies on the path..."
Frikin Idiot (OP)

12/08/2005 10:11 AM
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Re: White House Exploring ´Rapture´ Contingency Plans
OMFG That IS a scary thought, if the rapture did happen Bush would be one of the first to go, then
we probably would get a truly evil preesident.

damnedscream
"The lunatic is on the grass
The lunatic is on the grass
Remembering games and daisy chains and laughs
Got to keep the loonies on the path..."
U(C)U (OP)

12/08/2005 10:11 AM
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Re: White House Exploring ´Rapture´ Contingency Plans
So let´s get this one straight

Bush and his gov are all on the V.I.P. list to the god club in the sky ??

Yet most here claim he is some sort of satanist and member of clandestine society ??

You Can´t have both my dears, either he is destined for a set of wings or a pitch fork - pick one.

As for the question as to what to do ? IF i were not part of the select few then i would merely laugh at all those Priests, Mormons and Jehovah Witneses that were left behind and realise they had gave up living normally for absolutely nothing rofl

Also would be great opportunity to buy up real estate for the return of all these soles and the new era of peace as promissed - after this i would be probably be too old to care and i woulld be 100% certain i wasn´t getting into any afterlife.

This "rapture" would be the perfect way for an Alien force to take over the planet - first abduct as many humans as possible, then leap forward in earth time, release them along with the new "christ" - job done, earth is all yours in a neat bundle with a white ribbon of godlike peace wrapped round it.

Only kidding - But you started it !!!!!!

Unsure(c) - I Godlike has become Godsite ???
"The lunatic is on the grass
The lunatic is on the grass
Remembering games and daisy chains and laughs
Got to keep the loonies on the path..."
Anonymous Coward
12/08/2005 10:11 AM
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Re: White House Exploring ´Rapture´ Contingency Plans
AC 9:55

The bible says the rapture is to judgement at the end. Read Revelation.

Forget what the cultists in the chruches tell you. They are decieved liars whom Jesus said he will say to them, "depart from me you workers of iniquity, I never knew you".

If you want to follow the cultists and believe that churanity earns you some escape from earth, then by all means go right ahead. But do some research on your own. Read the bible and find one place other than the end of Revelation that mentions a ressurection, or rapture if you will.
Ms. Millie (OP)

12/08/2005 10:11 AM
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Re: White House Exploring ´Rapture´ Contingency Plans
This is all becoming a nightmare! scream
"The lunatic is on the grass
The lunatic is on the grass
Remembering games and daisy chains and laughs
Got to keep the loonies on the path..."

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