HOW do you stop a BOSS from talking DOWN to YOU?

Send him this letter and sign your name at the bottom. This is my all time favorite resination letter:

Dear Mr. Smith,

As a graduate of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of my co-workers and me during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time.

Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time.

You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is. Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will.

You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Since this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation, however I have a few parting thoughts.

1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal for you to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.

2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favorably by the administration.

3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your Mother's birthday," you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a sauce bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please; I hate having to correct your mistakes.)

Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never f*** with your systems administrator. Why? Because they know what you do with all that free time!

Wishing you a grand and glorious day,

(your name)

Turn up at work riding your Harley (you know? the one with the dirty big hangers) to check your roster on your day off maggot-drunk, drugged-up, reeking of J.D., and wearing your full outlaw colours. Have about 20 of your mates come along for the ride (also in their full colours) and get them to tear up and down the office carpark on their bikes, start fights with passers-by and harass the office girls for sex. If he starts whining like a little bitch or tries to call the cops, let him know he's pissing you off, and when you get pissed off someone gets a smack in the mouth. Kindly offer to swap him a ride on ya' Harley for a ride on his girlfriend. If he tries to dismiss you don't call 60 Minutes, call 60 friends..
Seriously, bosses LOVE that sh!T!

What's wrong with just saying "Would you mind not speaking to me like that please. I find it disrespectful" and don't break eye contact until he he does.

I agree. What is wrong with stating that you are feeling uncomfortable and asking for different behavior? Many people simply do not realise how they come across. Often, I find simply stating my needs and asking that they be met- and they are. :)

It would be good to set up a time to talk with your boss. Maybe sandwhich the actual topic in some BS- like...

" I really enjoy working here and feel we are all a team. I am uncomfortable when you adress me with loud words and dramatic gestures. What I need is for you to be willing to calmly discuss issues that come up so that we can best take care of the situation." In your own words of course !

LOL this is the way I think it should be handled, I can't say it is what I would do...

Is this boss really worth your time and energy on educating him on appropriate social skills ? Smile, do your job well, collect your paycheck and move on. Success is the best revenge.

Thanks for the Great feedback, Everyone!
I read all replies, and want to try them all!

I wonder if I am subconsiously inviting this behavior from him or something. I frequently get people cutting me off when I am mid-sentence during conversation...if so, I need to study myself and change myself in that respect.

But this "Boss Individual" definitely has control freak problems. I'll probably try asking him to tone it down for me, and try the looking at different parts of his face when he is talking THAT WAY to me...that is good.

If/when I do, I'll post the results here!

ive played that already. and theyre so cool!

you could just tell him "will you sthu? im growing tired of you. enough, youve talked the talk and i listened so much!"

then throw your hands in the air and walk out.

the next day youre losing your job.


haha!

You take your dick out and slap him in the face with it. Give him a nice mushroom tattoo.

Don't ask him to "calm it down a bit for you" when he is ranting. Wait for a calm period. Some people have a hard time being logical or reasonable once their emotions have taken over. (Think toddler temper tantrum.)

Might want to use "I" statements.


Don't do this --
My husband doesn't rant anymore at me. But when he used to I would smile up at him. It would piss him off. LOL Because he knew I was laughing at his temper tantrum. Of course that would make things worse. Then I would start laughing. ooops!

ditto
and....
digital recorders are small and can be very useful.

Check out your states Labor Board. There should be an Ombudsman who can advise you further....

wear high heels?

Quit, then tell him to fuck off.

I'm afraid that what 379014 says is true. It's just as bad elsewhere. Still if the job it's self pays well, etc, etc then maybe you should stay. Even half way decent jobs will soon become hard to get. If he is like this with others then don't take it personally. BTW be careful what you say to your fellow workers, there are a lot of sniches about.

there might not be anything you can do except find a new job.

you said you were so tough it out until then.

on your last day, tell him off big time, you'll have lots of time to figure out some really nasty things to say. consider even writing letters about how much of an ass he is and hand them out to all the people who work under him and over him.

until then, just chill, ejaculate into his coffee once or twice a week, and it'll make you feel much better.

if you really want to get at him. hire a kid to seduce him, video tape them having sex then blackmail him for all he's worth

Never sign on as a employee, which makes you the employer's slave, then you must do everything your boss utters...a definate, poor position.

Always work as a Independent Contractor, which means you don't have to do a goddman thing anyone tells you to do because you arent hired to do anything you are told, you just have to deliver your contracted product at the time specified, including getting your fully, pre-contracted job done, you are contracted to do.

If you are sitting at your desk when he's doing this, stand up and take a step towards him. Put your hand up in front of his face and tell him that the conversation is not going to continue until he calms down and quits pointing at you. When you've gotten his attention, lower your hand, cross your arms, and look him in the eyes.