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China beats us to the invention of the Fart Silencer

 
Babe in a Bunker
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User ID: 574636
United States
12/29/2008 06:07 PM
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China beats us to the invention of the Fart Silencer
Those wily bastards...

Oh, and the best quote EVER: Below is the inventor’s demonstration by uses his mouth as anus


The Ultimate Fart Silencer



Everyone farts… Whether it be in public, on a date, or during an interview, it happens and we know how embarrassing it can be.

Luckily, a man named “Big Chicken Mushroom” from WuHan, China, has invented the “Fart Silencer”, a small plastic tube that you… um… put in your anus.

fart_silencer_stick The Ultimate Fart Silencer picture

The “Fart Silencer” is a small plastic tube with one end that is completely open and the other end having numerous smaller holes in it.

Users are instructed to insert the open end into their anus when they feel a fart is coming. This should eliminate any unwanted sound farts tend to produce.

Users are also instructed to spray a cotton ball with their favorite perfume and put it into the “Fart Silencer” to eliminate any unwanted odor that might occur.

Below is the inventor’s demonstration by uses his mouth as anus, seems like it is working.


[link to www.weirdasianews.com]
Well it seems so real I can see it
And it seems so real I can feel it
And it seems so real I can taste it
And it seems so real I can hear it
So why can't I touch it?
So why can't I touch it?


Twatter: [link to twitter.com]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 582080
United States
12/29/2008 06:26 PM
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Re: China beats us to the invention of the Fart Silencer
Those wily bastards...

Oh, and the best quote EVER: Below is the inventor’s demonstration by uses his mouth as anus


The Ultimate Fart Silencer



Everyone farts… Whether it be in public, on a date, or during an interview, it happens and we know how embarrassing it can be.

Luckily, a man named “Big Chicken Mushroom” from WuHan, China, has invented the “Fart Silencer”, a small plastic tube that you… um… put in your anus.

fart_silencer_stick The Ultimate Fart Silencer picture

The “Fart Silencer” is a small plastic tube with one end that is completely open and the other end having numerous smaller holes in it.

Users are instructed to insert the open end into their anus when they feel a fart is coming. This should eliminate any unwanted sound farts tend to produce.

Users are also instructed to spray a cotton ball with their favorite perfume and put it into the “Fart Silencer” to eliminate any unwanted odor that might occur.

Below is the inventor’s demonstration by uses his mouth as anus, seems like it is working.


[link to www.weirdasianews.com]
 Quoting: Babe in a Bunker

that thing doesn't look so small. rather fart than stick that thing up my ass!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 581800
Germany
12/29/2008 06:31 PM
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Re: China beats us to the invention of the Fart Silencer
Practical item. When you are in a conversation with a customer and feel a fart coming, just drop your pants and insert the silencer. Fabulous.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 523041
United States
12/29/2008 06:33 PM
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Re: China beats us to the invention of the Fart Silencer
Damn the japanese space men
Gradient

User ID: 508533
United States
12/29/2008 06:36 PM

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Re: China beats us to the invention of the Fart Silencer
<------ Speechless
:coexistt:


glptrainer(at)yahoo.com
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 380499
Canada
12/29/2008 06:42 PM
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Re: China beats us to the invention of the Fart Silencer
lmao Farting ki
Dread Pirate Roberts

User ID: 579830
United States
12/29/2008 06:46 PM
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Re: China beats us to the invention of the Fart Silencer
Ben Franklin was way ahead of ya:

"Fart Proudly"

"Fart Proudly" (also called “A Letter To A Royal Academy”, also called "To the Royal Academy of Farting") is the popular name of a "notorious essay" about flatulence written by Benjamin Franklin circa 1781 while he was living abroad as United States Ambassador to France. It was composed in response to a call for scientific papers from the Royal Academy of Brussels. Franklin believed that the various academic societies in Europe were increasingly pretentious and concerned with the impractical. Revealing his "bawdy, scurrilous side" , Franklin responded with an essay suggesting that research be undertaken into methods of improving the odor of human flatulence

The essay goes on to discuss the way different foods affect the odor of flatulence and to propose scientific testing of farting. Franklin also suggests that scientists work to develop a drug, "holesome and not disagreeable", which can be mixed with "common Food or Sauces" with the effect of rendering flatulence "not only inoffensive, but agreeable as Perfumes". The essay ends with a pun saying that compared to the practical applications of this discussion, other sciences are "scarcely worth a FART-HING."(One kind of pill could make them smell like roses, for example)
"From that time Jesus began to preach and say, "Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand." Matthew 4:17
Boaz
User ID: 582208
Canada
12/29/2008 07:02 PM
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Re: China beats us to the invention of the Fart Silencer
This is not new. There was such a similar device on offer in the Hudsons Bay Company catalog in the 1880's.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 69144
United States
12/29/2008 07:05 PM
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Re: China beats us to the invention of the Fart Silencer
We need a smell reducer
The Magnificent Bastard

User ID: 581503
United States
12/29/2008 07:11 PM
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Re: China beats us to the invention of the Fart Silencer
But what about for those who are just sporatic farters? You know for the ones that just "fall out" from time to time?
I have no sense decency! That way, my other senses are enhanced!

I'm a pragmatist, everyone's an asshole but me.
falldown

User ID: 520470
United States
12/29/2008 07:12 PM
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Re: China beats us to the invention of the Fart Silencer
Practical item. When you are in a conversation with a customer and feel a fart coming, just drop your pants and insert the silencer. Fabulous.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 581800

Yep, that's what I was thinking. All the situations this would help with. On dates, during family get-togethers, on crowded public transportation, in a quiet doctor's office, etc.

Just drop 'em and jam that thing in, so you don't offend anyone around you...

I've got a better idea, perhaps. Before you leave the house in the morning, jam a cork in there. Just make sure you carry some extra Tic-Tacs...

gasp
~
~
"He who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words." ~Elbert Hubbard
doombreaker
User ID: 576376
United States
12/29/2008 07:14 PM
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Re: China beats us to the invention of the Fart Silencer
Really wish you could have found this before christmas....could have been a great "stocking stuffer" LOL
falldown

User ID: 520470
United States
12/29/2008 07:18 PM
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Re: China beats us to the invention of the Fart Silencer
Really wish you could have found this before christmas....could have been a great "stocking stuffer" LOL
 Quoting: doombreaker 576376

hehe..."Hey thanks, I needed a wine strainer, those corks are always a problem."

"Um, Uncle Joe..."
~
~
"He who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words." ~Elbert Hubbard
Icarus_Falling

User ID: 581917
United States
12/29/2008 07:23 PM
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Re: China beats us to the invention of the Fart Silencer
On a related note: some apologists for the American Scientific Community have indignantly pointed-out that the silencing effects of tubular objects inserted in rectums have likely been known for several thousand years.
"Look around you. The Washington Monument looks an awful lot like a penis, doesn't it? The Capitol Building: quite obviously a giant boob. And The Pentagon? Well, you look me in the eye and tell me it doesn't look like a big anus." -- Peter Griffin
FF
User ID: 456207
Austria
12/29/2008 07:25 PM
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Re: China beats us to the invention of the Fart Silencer
A stink absorber would be more needed lol ...
Dusty
User ID: 578872
United States
12/29/2008 07:28 PM
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Re: China beats us to the invention of the Fart Silencer
My farts smell like roses, so i really wouldn't need one.
falldown

User ID: 520470
United States
12/29/2008 07:34 PM
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Re: China beats us to the invention of the Fart Silencer
A stink absorber would be more needed lol ...
 Quoting: FF 456207

Well, you know business-folks, they don't want to throw out a perfect product right away, they'll release it in slightly improved steps, increasing the profit.

First step, tube with holes. Second step, tube with holes and fulled with kitty litter, for improved noise control, and smell prevention. Next step, added "super-grippers" for a secure fit (a sandpaper sleeve). After that, it'll have a wireless connection to your smartphone so you can monitor your daily output, smell/noise filter quality, so you're never using one past it's optimal performance envelope.

Capitalism at work!
~
~
"He who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words." ~Elbert Hubbard
422730
User ID: 562416
Australia
12/29/2008 07:35 PM
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Re: China beats us to the invention of the Fart Silencer
This is not new. There was such a similar device on offer in the Hudsons Bay Company catalog in the 1880's.
 Quoting: Boaz 582208


Are you calling bunk on OP?
422730
User ID: 562416
Australia
12/29/2008 07:37 PM
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Re: China beats us to the invention of the Fart Silencer
My farts smell like roses, so i really wouldn't need one.
 Quoting: Dusty 578872


What are the state of those roses?

1rof1
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 466677
United States
12/29/2008 07:41 PM
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Re: China beats us to the invention of the Fart Silencer
Those wily bastards...

Oh, and the best quote EVER: Below is the inventor’s demonstration by uses his mouth as anus


The Ultimate Fart Silencer



Everyone farts… Whether it be in public, on a date, or during an interview, it happens and we know how embarrassing it can be.

Luckily, a man named “Big Chicken Mushroom” from WuHan, China, has invented the “Fart Silencer”, a small plastic tube that you… um… put in your anus.

fart_silencer_stick The Ultimate Fart Silencer picture

The “Fart Silencer” is a small plastic tube with one end that is completely open and the other end having numerous smaller holes in it.

Users are instructed to insert the open end into their anus when they feel a fart is coming. This should eliminate any unwanted sound farts tend to produce.

Users are also instructed to spray a cotton ball with their favorite perfume and put it into the “Fart Silencer” to eliminate any unwanted odor that might occur.

Below is the inventor’s demonstration by uses his mouth as anus, seems like it is working.


[link to www.weirdasianews.com]
 Quoting: Babe in a Bunker

You can thank Hamas from keeping the Israelis from coming up with it first. There's BIG MONEY to be made with this item!!

5a
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 495562
United Kingdom
12/29/2008 07:43 PM
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Re: China beats us to the invention of the Fart Silencer
So when you are with friends and you feel like a fart, instead of just farting you pull your pants down and stick that thing up your ass instead. Yeah I can just picture the scene, I am sure all his friends would be delighted by his good manners lol.
falldown

User ID: 520470
United States
12/29/2008 07:47 PM
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Re: China beats us to the invention of the Fart Silencer
Can't get the image of that expensive French restaurant date out of my mind.

"...and for the lady, a nice Chardonnay...um, excuse me for a moment...<zip>...ungh!...ahhh...<zip>...Alright, and I'll have..."
~
~
"He who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words." ~Elbert Hubbard
Icarus_Falling

User ID: 581917
United States
12/29/2008 07:52 PM
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Re: China beats us to the invention of the Fart Silencer
Yeah, this sort of removes all doubt with regard to the question as to who "dealt it".
"Look around you. The Washington Monument looks an awful lot like a penis, doesn't it? The Capitol Building: quite obviously a giant boob. And The Pentagon? Well, you look me in the eye and tell me it doesn't look like a big anus." -- Peter Griffin
422730
User ID: 562416
Australia
12/29/2008 07:58 PM
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Re: China beats us to the invention of the Fart Silencer
Alright already...

1rof1
Mr. Predictor
Mod Emeritus

User ID: 287257
United States
12/29/2008 08:41 PM

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Re: China beats us to the invention of the Fart Silencer
looks to me like a excuse for sticking a dildo up your ass
6473madburger

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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 565279
United States
12/29/2008 08:45 PM
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Re: China beats us to the invention of the Fart Silencer
Oh for the love of Gawd....Just glue an Odor-Eater to your underwear. Voila! Scent and noise control!
falldown

User ID: 520470
United States
12/29/2008 09:02 PM
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Re: China beats us to the invention of the Fart Silencer
looks to me like a excuse for sticking a dildo up your ass
 Quoting: Mr. Predictor

lol...

"No, uh, that's just my, um, fart suppressor...yeah, yeah, that's the ticket!"
~
~
"He who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words." ~Elbert Hubbard
422730
User ID: 562416
Australia
12/29/2008 09:13 PM
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Re: China beats us to the invention of the Fart Silencer
I wouldn't want to work in quality control.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 569096
Canada
12/29/2008 09:18 PM
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Re: China beats us to the invention of the Fart Silencer
I rather keep blaming the Mountain Barking Spider.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 582281
United States
12/29/2008 09:32 PM
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Re: China beats us to the invention of the Fart Silencer
that's pretty gross, but US beat
China in that department years ago

with beano, it works just fine
without having to drop your nickers

[link to www.beanogas.com]

.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 454822
United States
12/29/2008 10:19 PM
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Re: China beats us to the invention of the Fart Silencer
While some men may prefer whipping down their pants and sticking that thing in their ass, here's some underwear with charcoal filters (looks like they're from the UK, LOL):

[link to www.myshreddies.com]