China beats us to the invention of the Fart Silencer

that thing doesn't look so small. rather fart than stick that thing up my ass!

Practical item. When you are in a conversation with a customer and feel a fart coming, just drop your pants and insert the silencer. Fabulous.

Damn the japanese space men

<------ Speechless

Ben Franklin was way ahead of ya:

"Fart Proudly"

"Fart Proudly" (also called “A Letter To A Royal Academy”, also called "To the Royal Academy of Farting") is the popular name of a "notorious essay" about flatulence written by Benjamin Franklin circa 1781 while he was living abroad as United States Ambassador to France. It was composed in response to a call for scientific papers from the Royal Academy of Brussels. Franklin believed that the various academic societies in Europe were increasingly pretentious and concerned with the impractical. Revealing his "bawdy, scurrilous side" , Franklin responded with an essay suggesting that research be undertaken into methods of improving the odor of human flatulence

The essay goes on to discuss the way different foods affect the odor of flatulence and to propose scientific testing of farting. Franklin also suggests that scientists work to develop a drug, "holesome and not disagreeable", which can be mixed with "common Food or Sauces" with the effect of rendering flatulence "not only inoffensive, but agreeable as Perfumes". The essay ends with a pun saying that compared to the practical applications of this discussion, other sciences are "scarcely worth a FART-HING."(One kind of pill could make them smell like roses, for example)

This is not new. There was such a similar device on offer in the Hudsons Bay Company catalog in the 1880's.

We need a smell reducer

But what about for those who are just sporatic farters? You know for the ones that just "fall out" from time to time?

Yep, that's what I was thinking. All the situations this would help with. On dates, during family get-togethers, on crowded public transportation, in a quiet doctor's office, etc.

Just drop 'em and jam that thing in, so you don't offend anyone around you...

I've got a better idea, perhaps. Before you leave the house in the morning, jam a cork in there. Just make sure you carry some extra Tic-Tacs...

Really wish you could have found this before christmas....could have been a great "stocking stuffer" LOL

hehe..."Hey thanks, I needed a wine strainer, those corks are always a problem."

"Um, Uncle Joe..."

On a related note: some apologists for the American Scientific Community have indignantly pointed-out that the silencing effects of tubular objects inserted in rectums have likely been known for several thousand years.

A stink absorber would be more needed lol ...

My farts smell like roses, so i really wouldn't need one.

Well, you know business-folks, they don't want to throw out a perfect product right away, they'll release it in slightly improved steps, increasing the profit.

First step, tube with holes. Second step, tube with holes and fulled with kitty litter, for improved noise control, and smell prevention. Next step, added "super-grippers" for a secure fit (a sandpaper sleeve). After that, it'll have a wireless connection to your smartphone so you can monitor your daily output, smell/noise filter quality, so you're never using one past it's optimal performance envelope.

Capitalism at work!

Are you calling bunk on OP?

What are the state of those roses?

You can thank Hamas from keeping the Israelis from coming up with it first. There's BIG MONEY to be made with this item!!

So when you are with friends and you feel like a fart, instead of just farting you pull your pants down and stick that thing up your ass instead. Yeah I can just picture the scene, I am sure all his friends would be delighted by his good manners lol.

Can't get the image of that expensive French restaurant date out of my mind.

"...and for the lady, a nice Chardonnay...um, excuse me for a moment...<zip>...ungh!...ahhh...<zip>...Alright, and I'll have..."

Yeah, this sort of removes all doubt with regard to the question as to who "dealt it".

Alright already...

looks to me like a excuse for sticking a dildo up your ass

Oh for the love of Gawd....Just glue an Odor-Eater to your underwear. Voila! Scent and noise control!

lol...

"No, uh, that's just my, um, fart suppressor...yeah, yeah, that's the ticket!"

I wouldn't want to work in quality control.

I rather keep blaming the Mountain Barking Spider.

that's pretty gross, but US beat
China in that department years ago

with beano, it works just fine
without having to drop your nickers

[link to www.beanogas.com]

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While some men may prefer whipping down their pants and sticking that thing in their ass, here's some underwear with charcoal filters (looks like they're from the UK, LOL):

[link to www.myshreddies.com]