I work at a juvenile detention center, ask me anything.

Unfortunately, the system is beyond reform at the moment. It is not just the institutions (half-way houses, residential programs, ADC, juvenile detention centers, etc.), it is the police departments (also corrupt), the main-line school systems (full of self-serving pros), many government and quasi-government agencies and some agencies that have NOTHING to do with the system per se.

There is really only one solution to the problem at the moment and that is to take your children out of the public school system (and some private school systems) and home school. As a teacher, I have sat in many areas where teachers congregate and listened to their banter as to how they hate their jobs, the kids, and the system. Teaching and counseling today are hazardous positions(not because of the kids). I, personally, have never had a real problem with kids. They are not stupid. They know how to work the system and tell you exactly what you want to hear. In many cases, the kids are more adult than the adults in their lives. They also know when you are sincere and caring. I made many friends in the 5 years I worked within the system and saw many kids go on to productive lives and happy outcomes.

This may seem pessimistic, but it is very realistic to me. It is pandemic to me. I have hope for the kids. They ALREADY see the system as bogus. They ALREADY have their feet on the ground--which only adds to their predicaments sometimes, because they are the ones who can do nothing about their situations and have to go along with whatever is done to them.

How do you reform a system that is BUILT on reform? When I first entered the profession, there was still whipping posts, beatings, kangaroo courts, deprivations, and a host of other practices that horrified me. I said nothing because I would have been simply fired and not been able to actually HELP these kids. I had to endure the torture I saw so that I could DO SOMETHING about it. By biding my time, I was able to work underground (within the system) to help change the system and actually show that kids really do want help (real help). I presided over the last locked building on the institutional grounds (all locks were removed) and opened the first residential center in the middle of town as an alternative to "reform school". We had a few runaways at first, but things settled down and only rarely did we have runaways.

Also, how can we reform a system when we still have bogus "diagnoses" of ADD or other "labeling" that makes highly intelligent children stigmatized because they cannot get the specialized attention that they need? Labeling was used early on in the system to group together certain "types" of individuals. This was called "I-level classification". This was what determined what type of "treatment" that particular child received. The labeling changed over the years to "guided group interaction", positive peer culture", "reality therapy" etc., but the premise was the same--classifying, labeling and sterotyping.

Even the concept of "tough love" was derived from our program. Within months of our program being shut down, this concept was being used throughout the industry. Hundreds of hours of films made while doing my group sessions were circulated and I saw many programs start as a result of it. Unfortunately, many took this concept to extremes such as the outward bound programs that sprung up similar to "boot camp". Deaths ocurred. It was thought that former military types could SCARE these kids into submission and put them into life-challenging positions. These gave bad names to the attempt and I doubt that many would allow their kids into these programs that actually endanger their lives.

There is no viable alternative to simple love and caring. I was authority but I also showed my shortcomings. It wasn't about "their" problems. It was about "our" problems. It was a societal thing. The weakest links in the mini society were opportunities rather than annoyances. The strongest and the smartest were trained to help the slowest and the weakest. The bullies were trained how to be student couselors. The kids with all thumbs and left feet were allowed to stumble through situations so they could learn and grow. Everybody had talents and were encouraged to use those talents for the sake of others. Oftentimes, we had to "come out of the box". For example, I had an 8 year old kid who was a genius that had stolen a buldozer and razed a house, stole a freight train, and was finally caught in a ten-car pileup with another 8 year old. As it turned out, this kid was a full masochist. He WANTED to be hurt. He knew EXACTLY how to manipulate even a peace-loving person like myself to the brink of wanting to hit him. I realized this only at the very last moment and, instead of hitting him or disparaging him, I grabbed him in a bear hug and told him (in his ear) that I would NEVER hurt him, not matter what he did. He cried like a baby!! Aterwards, I gave him an old institutional clock that hadn't worked for years and he took it completely apart and put it back together like new. It worked perfectly. I never had a problem with him again. He was changed by a single act of love. No amount of counseling could have ever achieved the same result. That 8 year old taught ME more than I can say. Every single one of those kids did. I learned more about human nature in those five years than a lifetime could have. That is the bottom line of the problem. We think that we are OK. We are not. We are adults, but we are not without problems. We have to share our humanity. We are not perfect. They are not perfect.

Good luck in the field. I still love working with children--especially the grammer school aged kids. I have 13 grandchildren that are still teaching me about life. If there is one thing that I have learned above others, it is that little children simply love you for who you are--not for what you do, what you say, what you give them, etc. Love begets love. Simple as that. Love the kids rather than building walls between your authority and their response to it. Don't judge and dont visably react. Kids love reactions--even negative ones. They will literally throw themselves down stairs to get the attention they need. Put yourselves in their places. Try to remember your own childhood. Relate. Empathize. Love.

What state are you in?

Another thoughtful post. Thx.

What happens when you catch them sexing?

I start tomorrow. I am a Speech Therapist. Young, female...get along well in general with all ages and backgrounds of people. I believe I come off as confident usually...laid back and fun-loving...with an edge though. I know my patients/clients tend to have a lot of respect for me, though they see me a a softy. I have been told that these "children" are potentially dangerous and I must always, always be on guard, confident, consistent and decisive with expectations and punishments. And at the same time, I was told that they rarely act out in therapy, usually work very hard, aim to please and bring great reward to us clinicians. I feel perplexed by all the "before hand" information. Both sets of information are almost contradictory and I really have NO IDEA what I am truly in for. That NOT knowing part is what has me losing sleep. I hear this facility is on top of it's game with security, organization, team work and support across the board especially compared to other facilities run by the same state agency. I hope I am not making a mistake to sign up for this. I plan to only do it for a short term period of time and only 2 times/weekly. I want the experience, I am very intrigued. I hope to grow professionally and as a person, though I do have concerns for my safety---I have read many horror stories online. Yikes. Thoughts?