ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?

ATTORNEY:
What was the first thing your husband said to you that
morning?

WITNESS:
He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did
that upset you? WITNESS: My name
is Susan!

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?

WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

____________________________________________



ATTORNEY:
This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at
all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does
it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You
forget? Can you give us an example o f something you forgot?

___________________________________________



ATTORNEY:
Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?

WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We
20 do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.

____________________________________________



ATTORNEY:
Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep,
he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS:
Did you actually pass the bar exam?

____________________________________



ATTORNEY: The
youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS:
He's twenty, much like your IQ.

___________________________________________



ATTORNEY: Were you
present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you
shitting me?

_________________________________________

<
BR>
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was
August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you
doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid

____________________________________________



ATTORNEY:
She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.

ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I
think I ne
ed a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

____________________________________________



ATTORNEY:
How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.

ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS:
Take a guess.

____________________________________________



ATTORN
EY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about
medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or
a female?
WITNESS: Unless the circus was in town, I'm going
with male.

_____________________________________



ATTORNEY:
Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition
notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is
how I dress when I go to work.

______________________________________



ATTORNEY:
Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead
people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much
of a fight.

_________________________________________



ATTORNEY:
AL
L your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

WITNESS: Oral.
__________________
_______________________



ATTORNEY: Do you recall
the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy
started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead
at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.

____________________________________________



ATTORNEY:
Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you
qualified to ask that question?

______________________________________

And the
best for last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you
performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS:
No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS:
No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive
when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATT ORNEY: How
can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was
sitting on my desk in a jar.

ATTORNEY: I see, but could the
patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes,
it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing
law.